he didn't deserve to be called lots of things

he didn't deserve to be called a father

a man

a therapist

and he surely didn't deserve to be called a human being

and he knew it

the ringing voices in his head told him so

his conscience

they told him how stupid he was

how he should have bottled up his darkest thoughts

how Mona would look at him

the disgustful and hateful looks

how he would be the worst monster on earth

he couldn't even look at his wife

why would he?

he destroyed their baby's future

she didn't care anyway

she was just too busy

this was something neither of them will talk about

then

it turned into a secret ..

.

.

.

.

it was night.

he left to clear his head.

he looked at the dark liquid that spread wide the horizon

he wished he could be like the sea

to be free without any guilt

he knew people have sins to live with

his own was just too horrible for him to bear

he still stared at the sea and wondered how deep the sea is....

he saw the similarities between him and the sea

they were both murderers

he killed Mona's view on life.

the sea drowned sands of people

most people begged to be drowned

while others just wanted to travel, explore and to see their loved ones

but she drowned them all

the rest were just fortunate to pass

he wondered if the sea ever felt guilty

cause he did.....

he looked up to the full moon, it was too bright for his liking

he loved to go for a night swim

it was the one thing he found clarity in

he dipped his head into the water

he ignored the pain

the yearning to fight for survival

because he remembered what he had done

.

.

.

he felt it was perfect for a swim

he was no more

.

.

.

the sea kept its own side of the bargain

his body was never found.....

.

.

.

.

.

Mona heard his heavy footsteps as he walked away

Mona never cared to ask because she knew he would never be back

she walked after him maintaining a far distance

.

.

.

hiding behind the trees.....

she watched him dived into the sea

she waited to see his figure come out to take a breath.....

but....

silence and stillness overwhelmed the sea

she turned back

she knew she had to protect her mum from this madness and heartbreak

she was naïve but she made strong decisions

Mona gathered all her father's belongings and put them away.

she put them into the attic her mum never knew they had

she sealed it

it wasn't an attic anymore thanks to Mona

it was a wall just like every part in the house.

even though she knew the answer

she wondered if her mum will ever notice...