My eyes opened blearily, the groggy feeling accompanying being abruptly dragged out of sleep muddling my mind so much so that I could just barely make out a tan face hovering above me. I blinked up at it in confusion but was jerked to full consciousness as hands wrapped tightly under my arms hoisting me up to lean against the headboard.

The husky deep voice I had only been hearing faintly finally turned into fully formed words, but his words didn't help clear my confusion. As I became fully aware of the way he still held me, I instantly scrambled backwards to put some distance between us. His grip remained unrelenting despite my efforts.

"Where are you hurt?"

He was asking that over and over again, nostrils flaring. I stared at him bewildered as to what was causing this particular bout of insanity and why I was being treated to it so early in the morning.

"Get up. Let me see you." He said making my lip curl in disgust.

Had he barged into my room hoping to catch me in a less than appropriate state? Of course I had fallen asleep in one of his shirts as he had given me nothing else yet despite it having been a month of me being here, so it was entirely possible the shirt had ridden up while I was sleeping and wouldn't even cover the little they usually did.

Seeming to get impatient with me he pulled me up, being uncharacteristically gentle. Usually when he got impatient he started yanking me around like a ragdoll. I made sure to pull the shirt down as far as it went as I was forced out of the bed and onto my feet.

His eyes roamed all over me and he crowded into me until he was so close it made my chest feel tight. I turned my face to the side as he took a deep inhale of my scent before much to my horror his eyes darted straight down to my crotch.

His eyebrows furrowed before his hand moved as though about to reach right between my thighs. I jumped back, the movement suddenly making me aware of the dull pain in my lower stomach.

"You're bleeding, don't be stubborn. Let me see." He said, again moving his hand to reach for me and I grabbed onto his wrist, heart hammering away as I quickly screamed out the words before he touched me down there.

"I just started my period."

He looked away from my crotch much to my relief and up to meet my gaze. He gently pulled his hand away and I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the panic begin to ebb away. He stared at me with his head tilted a moment before his chest seemed to deflate a little, I took that as a sign that I wasn't about to be groped but one could never be too cautious around him.

"What can I get you?" He asked.

I was tempted to ask him to fuck off and just give me some peace, the cramping in my stomach and pain in my lower back and legs not helping my irritation towards him, but I really would need some things. As much as I had tried to not ask him for anything thus far despite wanting basic things like pants and underwear, but now there was really no way around it unless I planned to spend the week inside the bathtub just bleeding away.

"I'll need pads and tampons a-and underwear."

"Go take a shower mate, it'll all be here by the time you get out."

His hands twitched at his sides and I hurried into the bathroom, not wanting to give him any chances to act on those impulses to touch me. As soon as the door was closed behind me I leaned myself back up against the vanity and took a few deep breaths in an effort to collect myself. 

It had been years since my period had stressed me out and yet somehow around him even something I had been dealing with every month since I turned twelve became a big deal. I let my eyes fall close as I felt a wave of particularly bad cramps.

Grimacing I tugged his shirt over my head, wishing I had also asked for some Tylenol. Those drugs didn't work for werewolves, so they had different much stronger drugs that their systems wouldn't burn off as fast as they did the regular ones. Humans usually passed out if they took werewolf drugs so I wasn't planning on asking him for any he had lying around. I would just have to tough it out this time.

I turned the water on and waited for it to get hot before climbing into the shower. Just a few moments beneath the hot water and I could already feel it helping with the dull pain in my body as well as the cramps. Perhaps I'd survive the week by taking a lot of hot showers.

I was surprised I hadn't seen this coming. I had a fairly regular schedule so I should have been expecting it, but with everything that had been happening this past month it had completely slipped my mind.  I hadn't even really noticed the back pain and sore breasts with all the general malaise I had been feeling ever since I got to this godforsaken house.

I washed my body and hair but stood under the water a few more minutes even after I was done, reluctant to get out. I was afraid he would still be there, waiting for me with panties in one hand and a tampon in the other. I hoped sincerely that during this week I would be able to get out of spending more time with him as I had been forced to do these past two weeks under the pretense of him wanting me to walk around the house more. I could use the pain and unease I felt as an excuse to stay in bed.

I quickly towel dried myself, trying to give myself a mental talk to go out there despite my fear that he would still be there. Him seeing me in a towel would not work very well in terms of my mission to keep his hands off of me.

Eventually I opened the door a crack, and peeked out, feeling light with relief when I saw the room empty and a few bags placed on the bed. I hurried out, grabbing up the bags and a hoodie of his from the closet before going right back into the washroom. I always made sure to change in the washroom since apparently the Alpha did not know how to knock, or perhaps didn't on purpose but that was only a more concerning thought.

One bag contained many pairs of neatly folded underwear, all with the tags still on them. I picked out a grey cotton pair and ripped the tags off before opening up the other bags to see boxes upon boxes of feminine hygiene products. There were tampons and pads of all sizes.

I used the regular sized ones of each as I always did before looking into the last bag. To my surprise there were pairs of tights in there along with a pair of yoga pants. I preferred sweatpants but I was just happy with the fact that I had some type of bottoms to wear so the Alpha could no longer stare at my legs.

I wondered how he had managed to pull all this off on such short notice before realizing as an Alpha he had all his wolf minions at his beck and call. Hell if he wanted he could have set up a department store for me in less time than it took me to shower.

I pulled on a pair of tights along with the dark grey hoodie of his I had brought in with me. A lump formed in my throat as I caught sight of myself in the mirror. This was the closest to the old me I had looked in a while. I had often worn oversized sweaters and tights around the house. I tried to rein myself in, not wanting to cry over a pair of tights even if I did have the excuse of being a little extra hormonal.

Now that I wasn't afraid of getting blood on the floor I brushed my teeth as well. Collecting myself I made my way out of the bathroom, holding all the bags intending to leave them outside of the closet when I froze suddenly at the sight of him. He was holding a tray of food. For the past two weeks he had been forcing me to have meals downstairs in the kitchen with him. I wasn't sure if I preferred the tray or not, having to eat with him was dreadful either way.

"Sit, you need to eat." He said and I slowly made my way to sit on the bed, forcing myself to stay still as he sat down beside me, his thigh nearly touching my own as he balanced the tray on his lap.

I grabbed the bowl of warm oatmeal, eyes flickering towards the eggs before he picked the plate of them up. My mom would always force me to eat eggs while on my period, she was convinced that girls needed to eat more protein while on their periods to make up for the blood loss. I would whine then but now I'd give anything to be sitting across from her on the table again, even if it meant being forced to eat eggs. I'd even gladly eat garbage just to be able to see her or the rest of my family again.

I swallowed down a few bites of the oatmeal to help keep down the lump that had been forming in my throat at the thought of my family. I wasn't sure if he could smell it or not, he stared at me all the time so I didn't know if it was because I smelled sad or if it was just part of his usual habit of watching me.

"Do you want some bacon?" He asked, offering up his plate but I shook my head quickly. I had always liked bacon, but the thought of picking off his plate felt far too nauseatingly intimate. Rationally I knew all of this was his food that I had been eating, but sharing a plate was too much for me. I still hated that he ate my leftovers.

Once after dinner to keep him from eating out of my plate I had thrown the remainder of the lasagna on my plate into the trash. As I had walked by him still sitting at the table, he had shot his arm out and wrapped it around my waist, tugging me in close to his side. Face nearly pressed against my chest as he looked up at me and told me not to waste food. I had never tried to throw food again, worried it would provoke him into touching me.

He looked a bit dismayed at my refusal but continued eating silently nonetheless. When I finished my bowl and had eaten some of the berries from the tray I scooted back on the bed, hoping he would take the hint and leave me to rest.

I thought my wish was being granted when he placed his plate down on the tray but instead of picking it up and leaving he grabbed the glass of orange juice before placing the tray on the ground. I stared silently at the tray even as I saw him reach into his pocket from the corner of my eye. Tray on the floor meant he wasn't leaving immediately.

I saw him pull out a little red bottle and glanced over in curiosity wondering what he was going to try to feed me now. My stomach cramped viciously as though in greeting as my eyes landed on the bottle of extra strength Tylenol he held in his hand.

"You should take this for the pain." He said, handing me the juice and cracking open the bottle. He shook two pills out into the cap and I couldn't resist outstretching my hand for them, eager to be even marginally rid of the pain twisting up my insides.

His eyes darted down to my hand before up to meet mine, lips quirking almost imperceptibly in a way that made me regret showing any sign of enthusiasm. He dropped them in my hand and I popped them into my mouth, drinking down half the glass of juice over it.

"Is there anything else you need mate?" He asked as he finally got up from the bed. I shook my head in negative, just wanting him to leave me be. He picked the tray up and left and I finally allowed myself to relax back on the bed as my back was begging me to once the door was closed.

I grabbed the book that had been sitting on the bedside table, tissue tucked into it as a makeshift bookmark to mark my place even though I wasn't really following the story. Reading over the words on the page helped pass the time, even if my thoughts wandered off leaving me unable to process them.

It was a Thomas Hardy novel, and my folded tissue bookmark indicated I was almost halfway through but I hadn't the slightest idea of what it was about. The Alpha had told me I could take any of the books from the shelves of his office. I had picked two randomly to shut him up. One turned out to be the Hardy currently in my hands, the other was a nonfiction work on the history of the integration of humans into werewolf packs. Neither books were things I would normally pick off a shelf.

As they had for the past two days, my eyes trailed over the words, only registering a few sentences before my mind was far off again. Memories of going book shopping with Ethan flashing before my unseeing eyes.

He was the only person I knew who could spend as long in a library or bookshop as I could. We'd both wander off to find a few books and then find a quiet space amongst one of the shelves to sit together and read. Interrupting one another if our book had an interesting passage we wanted the other to see. He did admittedly interrupt me a lot more than I did him. But I had always found it cute instead of irritating.

I loved the way his eyes would be lit up, how fast he would whisper his thoughts on the passage he made me read, as though he couldn't wait to get the thought out. Frowning with the most subtle pout if I disagreed and nearly vibrating with energy if I agreed. Laughing too loudly to be appropriate in a bookstore if he found something I said funny.

I wondered what he was doing right now, he was probably at work. It had been a month so hopefully he was okay enough to be at work even though the Alpha had punched him hard enough to make blood drip down his chin and stain the front of his shirt.

I hoped he was happier than I was, that he had allowed his family and friends to comfort him and take care of him. I imagined him laughing right now wherever he was in that unabashed loud way of his. Unable to keep my lips from curling into a smile at the thought, the expression now feeling foreign on my face.

The door opened suddenly and I startled, almost dropping the book I was holding. The Alpha paused momentarily in the doorway before walking in.

"Is something in the book funny?" He asked. My heart sunk as I realized he had seen me smiling. Smiling while thinking of my fiancé who he always got irrationally angry about when brought up.

"I-I'm not done with the juice yet." I said, hoping it would distract him from enquiring about why I had been smiling. I quickly picked up the glass and took a sip. His brow furrowed as he gave me a hard look, as if trying to see through me.

"I came to check on you. Have the pain-relievers helped?"

"I feel fine." I answered, hoping to get him out of the room as quick as possible. The Tylenol had helped a bit, but I had always gotten particularly painful periods so the cramps were still there.

"I can always tell when you lie mate." He said making me glance down towards the book in my hands, swallowing thickly.

"I can also tell when you're in pain, it's driving me crazy."

The words instantly made me tense. Now that I looked at him I could see he looked a bit haggard. His hair was usually arranged to be pushed back but now some strands fell onto his forehead as though he had been running his fingers through it causing it to fall out of its natural state. The whites of his eyes were tinged red and altogether it made him look a bit insane, desperate even.

I tracked his movements as he made his way to the other side of the bed, instantly scrambling off when he placed his knee on the bed as though about to climb on.

In an instant he had my wrist in his grasp and I was being yanked back down onto the bed, right against the hard contours of his chest. He wrapped a massive muscular arm around me just as I fought the whiplash of being pulled so abruptly off and began to struggle.

"Let go of me." I forced out as I squirmed to get out of his arms, even kicking backwards as my heartrate began to pick up. Thoughts of what he could do to me while he had me restrained on the bed creeping into my mind even as I tried to keep them out. Many of my nightmares began with him holding me down on this bed, they ended in various ways, none of them ever good for me.

"Calm down, you're gonna hurt yourself." He said, throwing a leg over my own flailing ones, effectively keeping them down as he caught my wrists in one of his hands as well. Tightening his grip on them when I continued to squirm as much as I could.

He snaked his other arm below me to wrap around me until I was held completely immobile to his chest, his arms crossed over me leaving me unable to move even an inch. I fit so easily in his arms, our size difference only highlighted by how his body completely enveloped mine. I stood no chance against him, there was absolutely no way I could fight him off, especially not with my limbs pinned down. Panic bubbled up so desperately inside me I could feel myself beginning to grow lightheaded.

"I'm just trying to help you."

He slowly released me from the tight grip he had on me, keeping just one arm around my waist. I tried rolling away to put some space between us but was yanked back into his chest immediately, the breath being knocked out of me as I hit back into his solid chest.

"Stay still mate." He ordered.

"Get off of me." I begged, tears beginning to burn my eyes and my throat stung painfully.

"Hush, stay still." He commanded softly.

I stayed very still as he pulled me in impossibly closer, plastering himself against my back until there was not an inch of space between us. He splayed his hand out on the expanse of my belly. I fought to get in a few deep breaths, trying to ignore what he was doing. I could find a way to get away as soon as I no longer felt close to hyperventilating.

I let my eyes fall shut and bit into my bottom lip as I felt him nuzzle his face into my hair, my body thrumming with an urge to flee so intense it made my entire body tremble.

"Don't cry sweetness, this'll help."

"With what?" I bit out.

"Do you feel that? The heat?"

I blinked in confusion for a moment. The heat emanating off his skin was searing, wolves had a natural body temperature much above that of a human's. It finally clicked that he was trying to act like an Alpha shaped heating pad. I wondered how painfully deluded he had to be to think I would be able to find comfort in close physical proximity to him.

"Please just leave me to rest, that'll help." I begged.

"I read online that heat helps relieve the pain, just let me take care of you."

"Please." I muttered pitifully but he only shushed me and snuggled me closer into his chest, widening his fingers on the hand splayed possessively on my stomach to cover more area.

"My wolf can sense when you're in pain. I'm just trying to make you feel better, nothing else." He promised.

I couldn't relax a single muscle, not even with the searing heat burning into me from behind akin to that of a heating pad set to its highest setting, just a few degrees below burning. Despite that though he had indeed managed to make being on my period even more unbearable.

He held onto me the way a child holds on to their favourite toy, zealously, tightly as though I were going to disappear any moment. Perhaps he could also sense how much I didn't want to be near him. I wondered how crazy that drove him. I hoped the pain of it was even a tenth of what I had felt being here for days without even an ounce of reprieve from the misery he had inflicted on me.

Endless days and hours with nothing to do, trapped in a house with a man you wanted nothing to do with but could palpably feel how much he wanted you. It was in every glance, every stolen touch, the desire that bubbled under his skin, coming to surface for just a few moments upon the smallest of provocations and leaving me feeling helpless and terrified.

I hadn't been outside in over a month, it had been just as long since I had seen anyone I loved. I was a prisoner confined with the monster of their nightmares. Locked away with everyone and everything they loved out of reach, kept just beyond the doors guarded by the beast.

And now that monster was cuddling me. I could tell how very much he was enjoying this based on the sniffing and nuzzling of my damp hair I could feel going on behind me. The tip of his nose brushed the skin on the back of my neck through my curtain of hair and I stiffened, feeling a jolt shoot up my spine.

"Rationally I know that the blood is just due to you menstruating but my wolf doesn't completely understand that. It's in a frantic frenzy inside of me at the scent of your blood being spilled. It makes me feel like I have to protect you, to check you over until I find the wound and fix it."

His voice was huskier than usual, a soft prowling quality to it that made me wish fervently to be anywhere but in his arms right now. His hand splayed over my belly drifted lower to cover my pelvic bone. His long thick fingers flexing slightly.

I curled my legs up towards my chest, trying to arch away from his touch only to accidentally thrust my bottom back against him. I froze at the hardness I could feel now digging into the soft flesh of my bottom, a low husky groan escaping his throat as though I had wounded him.

Instantly I started tugging at his arm, wanting to be free of the snare his arm formed around my waist and away from him. His other arm snaked around me, grabbing hold of my wrist, and gently massaging circles into the bone of it with his thumb. 

"I can't help it when I'm so close to you darling, but don't be afraid, I only wish to make you feel better."

"You're hard. How is that supposed to make me feel better?" I bit out.

"Concentrate on the heat, let me worry about how hard you make me."

I let out a disgusted scoff at his words, angling my body to be as far from him as I could, uncaring of how much the position worsened the pain in my stomach and back.

He trailed his hand up and down the length of my stomach, my breath hitching when his fingers got a bit too close to the underside of my breasts. The heat radiating off of his skin making his touch impossible to ignore.

Letting go of my wrist he gently weaselled his arm out from under me, instead bringing his hand up to play with my drying hair. He seemed to have a strange fascination with my hair, perhaps what he needed instead of a mate was a wig. It also wouldn't care if he growled mine at it or held it to his chest.

"Why don't you try to go to sleep mate? I woke you up earlier than normal. You've no idea how terrifying it was to be sitting in my office and suddenly scent your blood in the air."

I had absolutely no response to that. He did seem to be particularly chatty today much to my misfortune. I hated speaking to him almost as much as I hated being touched by him. Today while suffering through cramps I was being treated to both.

"You humans are so fragile, it terrifies me. It's so easy for you to get hurt, it makes me feel like I have to protect you every second of every day. Being away from you every night is so hard, all my wolf and I want to do is hold you in our arms so we know you're safe."

"The biggest threat to me is you."

I only realized I'd said the words out loud when his arm tightened around me until it felt like my ribs would crack under the pressure. He flexed his fingers stiffly as his nails lengthened into claws. His breathing behind me rough and sharp, chest heaving.

My eyes widened as I was suddenly flipped to lay flat on my back with him hovering over me, eyes flashing Alpha red. I cringed away from his burning gaze but he caught my jaw in a steely grip and forced me to look up at him.

The sharp tips of his claws pressed against the soft skin of my cheeks. They rested just on top, not pushing in but the threat they posed of drawing blood was just as menacing as the action. My heart pounded in fear against my aching ribs.

"I am your mate, your alpha. I am not a fucking threat to you. I would never hurt you, every instinct of mine tells me to protect you, to keep you safe, and satisfied. Do you know what it feels like to have every sense of yours telling you your mate is fucking miserable and not be able to do anything about it?"

My eyes welled up to the point where his eyes became vague red shiny dots in my blurry vision. A tear spilled over onto my cheek, immediately beginning to slide back towards my hair but he caught it between his lips, before it could.

"Never in my life have I felt so fucking helpless. No matter what I do you're sad. I've given you so much time, most mates mate in the very first week they meet, and I'm still sleeping in my goddamn office. Now you're telling me that after a month of me fighting desperately against every instinct of mine to touch you, to hold you, to fuck you out of your misery, you consider me a threat? Do you know how that makes me feel Athena?" He lowly growled out the words.

My breath started to grow short, lungs feeling like they were not getting enough air with him growling those words into my face. The restrained manner in which he said them much more terrifying than him shouting. I'd much rather him go on a rampage and destroy everything in this room than to be on top of me, trembling looking as though he was just barely holding himself back from tearing into me.

I blinked away the tears and tried to pull my face out of his hold as he leant his own down closer. A sob wracked through me as he slowly agonizingly licked up my tears. I couldn't stop myself as my hands came up, desperately pushing at his throat to get him off of me but he caught my wrists in each of his hands.

My eyes widened with horror as he brought my wrist closer to his mouth, his strength unyielding even as I tried with all my might to pull my wrist out of his hold. He closed his canines around my wrist, the sharp tips of them pressing very lightly into the skin, not penetrating but allowing me to feel how easily they could.

"No please, Alpha no." I begged desperately, my entire body squirming with the need to get away from him.

Being marked by him was the absolute worst thing he could do to me. If he did, not only would it stake an irrefutable claim over me, but it would make my own instincts war against me. My body would begin to crave him.

Marking a mate against their will was extremely taboo, because it forced them to want you, and in the most extreme cases it caused for the mate to go insane from the constant battle of their will against their instincts.

"Don't do this please, you can't do this." I pleaded, my chest feeling like it's going to collapse but breathing was not even close to my biggest concern right now. My lungs burned with a need for air as I struggled against him. His eyes were on me now, I could make them out through the dark spots swimming in my vision.

"No, a-anything, I'll do anything just not this." I panted out, the words coming out breathy and hard to make out.

"Okay, okay, shush, I won't mark you. Calm down mate, breathe for me." He said releasing my wrist and rolling us over so I was draped over his large body with his arms encasing me. He took intentionally deep breaths, encouraging me to mimic those. I couldn't seem to stop trembling even as I tried to imitate the movements of his chest.

Slowly the tightness in my chest loosened, and my vision was blurred only by the tears welled up in my eyes. He pressed a hard kiss to the top of my head, tightening his arms around me.

"I won't mark you until you want me to, but from now on I'm sleeping with you in here."

I stared unblinkingly down at the dark material of the sweater he wore. In that moment entirely convinced that this was where I would die if I didn't find a way out.

Author's Note------------

Hello my lovelies! I hope you all are doing well and are keeping safe. I've gotten a few messages asking me about this which makes me think some of you did not read the note at the beginning of the story, in which case you might not read this one either. But I feel obligated to say it again, this book is not a romance. It is not written as one but how you choose to perceive it as the reader, I leave up to you. Please do not take this as a discouragement from perceiving the story as you choose to and please continue to share your thoughts freely.

Also I know this update took longer than usual but I'm an essential worker because I work at a bank so sometimes I'm too tired to write and other times I have writers block. Sorry about the wait, I always try to get updates out quickly but it doesn't always happen. Have a great night. Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadians!