I was stunned. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. Oh god oh god, say something! Do something you idiot! I took my arms from around her giving her the room to turn around, but she doesnt.

"Turn around." My voice was shaky and weak. She did as I told her to. Her face was streaked with tears and her eyes were red and puffy. I hated seeing her so sad. Before I could stop them Tears welled up in my eyes and, soon after, fell down my cheeks. This made more tears fall from her eyes too. I looked down and the floor.

"Im sorry. I dont mean to make things so bad for you. I dont mean to." I said. Starting to cry. I went to the room I was staying in and I locked the door. I laid on the bed and cried. Eventually I guess I cried myself to sleep.

_______________________________________

I woke up to someone knocking on the door then trying to open it.

"Cam are you okay?" Ally asked. I got up and opened the door. She looked me over.

"Dinners ready." She said she was walking away when I said,

"Ally im not a good person to fall in love with. I have to many problems and I always end up hurting someone. You were right, sarah likes me too and she gave me her number and asked me out when we were at the store. I didn't say yes to her because I know that im no good. Im no good for either of you." She didn't say anything she just looked at me.

"Maybe its not a good idea for me to stay here." I said.

"My husband,or ex husband, signed the divorce papers yesterday. Meaning I'll be here alone. If you really want to leave I wont stop you but please dont. I know what im feeling is wrong but I cant just shut it off! You're beautiful, sweet, funny, smart, talented. You are everything anyone could ever dream of. You are perfect." She said whispering the last part the running downstairs before I could say anything else. I took a few minutes to gather myself then slowly walked down the stairs and to the kitchen. The smell of meat filled my nose. She had already made my plate and sat down at the table. I sat down too in front of my food. I looked down at my lap letting my hands shake freely. She noticed.

"Why are you shaking?" She asked as I moved my hands down to my lap to hold them.

"Anxiety." I whispered. She stood and walked over to me. She just stood there in front of me. I dont know what she about to say or do but I dont care right now. I shoot up from my seat and kissed her. She stumbles back against the wall as she kissed me back. We made out for a bit until we needed air. When we pulled away she pushed me away from her and walked into the kitchen. I followed her.

"Why are you doing this to me?" She asked. She so hurt. I can see it. God I need to leave. I didnt answer her I just ran out into the pouring rain. I ran not knowing where I was going. I was looking at street signs trying to look for something familiar the I found a street I've seen before. It took me about 45 minutes but I finally made it home. It was completely dark by the time I got there luckily I keep my house key around my neck. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. I was soaking wet for the rain and it was pitch dark in the house. I found the light switch and flicked it on. I dont want to be alone. And I have school tomorrow great. Just fucking peachy. I didnt grab my phone so im on my own. Since I havent eaten all day I decided to pop a pizza in the oven. When it was done I got it out, waited for it to cool then put Netflix on. I wrapped myself in a blanket because I was still wet and cold. I was working on my third slice of pizza when I herd a knock on the door.

"Go away!" I yelled.

"C'mon Cam let me in." Allison's faint voice came from outside.

"Please im cold." She begged. I got up and opened the door she lunged at me wrapping her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly.

"You had me worried sick! anything could've happened to you." She yelled worried and angry.

"Well im safe so go home." I said coldly.

"You have school tomorrow."

"And I have everything I need here so ho home." I said.

"Fine." She turned to leave then turned back to me.

"Maybe you arent as sweet as I thought you were." Was the last thing she spoke before she left. So thats how I keep from hurting people. Be mean. Got it. I went upstairs and, for the second time today, cried myself to sleep.

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I woke up just in time and did my morning routine. I left the house at 7:30am and got in my car. It takes about 15 minutes to get to the school from where I live. I miss ally. But I cant have her. She deserves better. I miss sarah too. She deserves better too. I dont deserve to be happy. I pull up in the school parking lot and get surrounded by jocks and preps. Shit.

"Welcome back female fag." Jackson said.

"I dont want any trouble. You guys almost killed me last time remember?" I felt the anger building up in my chest. He laughed.

"Yeah, good times." He sighed.

"You know my girlfriend broke up with me because of your worthless ass. She's probably a dyke now too." Collin said in disgust. No no no somebody help me. Somebody help me. Somebody help me. Jackson moved closer to me and shoved me to the ground. I tried scooting away but there was a guy behind me. Im gonna try the dumbest thing in the world on the dumbest people in the universe.

"Oh my god!" I pointed to nothing but air behind jackson and they all looked in that direction. As soon as the weren't paying attention I ran. Idiots. I laughed to myself getting to home room just in time. I read a book until first period. Ugh this was gonna be a long day.

_______________________________________

I made it to English without seeing anyone who wanted to kill me. I looked at Allison but she didnt look up. She said something about a bathroom and then she left. I was to busy worrying about what the people infront of me where about to do to me. They all walked up to me.

"You think we're stupid don't you dyke." Jackson said.

"I mean you fell for the dumbest trick in the book you tell me." I laughed. 

"Leave her alone." Sarah said standing infront of me. The entire class gasped.

"Awe look, the dykes are sticking together."

"Sarah get away from that thing."

"You dont know where that dyke has been she could have diseases.

"What are you talking about dude, she is the disease." Too many people were talking at a time.

"Oh yay my favorite part of class giving detention. Everybody except cam and sarah detention." Shit. She called me cam. I dont think the class noticed what she said but she did. And so did me and sarah. Sarah turned to look at me.

"You okay?" She asked

"Yeah thanks."

"No problem."

"You never texted or called." She continued.

"Okay everyone to your seats. Class is starting." Allison said. Sarah made her way back to her seat with  disappointment written on her face.