Update 1/3

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been almost a fortnight since their first session with Dr. Osborne. The next session was due the next day and Jungkook was excited to fill his diary. The last fifteen days had been like something out of a dream and he couldn't have been happier.

They had both fallen into a comfortable routine. Jungkook woke early to workout, Tae would wake, grumble about the music before turning on the coffee machine, Jungkook would make breakfast and they would talk endlessly about anything and everything under the sun. They would tease, they would bicker and they would laugh their heads off.

It was mostly smooth sailing at this point. Every moment they spent together put a spring in his step and a smile on his face. Tae was finally warming up to him. A tiny sliver of hope had taken root deep within his heart, and he was slowly starting to believe his hyung's words.

He was afraid to hope but maybe... just maybe, there was a chance for them to be together after all.

Jungkook sighed.

If only they could get past the awkward no touching part.

Taehyung still went out of his way to not be touched by him. He circled round the kitchen island, around the table, he stood atleast 5 feet apart at all times and he didn't offer any more rides or show up drunk so Jungkook would have an excuse to touch him while he helped him into bed.

It was frustrating and Jungkook was dying for something, maybe even a small, fleeting moment, the smallest of touches, maybe just a handshake.. something... anything, as long as it let him feel those tingles, deep down low in his belly or the shivers up his spine.

He missed it so bad that he had been having wet dreams about their wedding night almost every night now. Waking up with a hard on that refused go down even under the harshest cold showers.

His phone lit up distracting him from the road that was making him shift uncomfortably in his denims.

The group chat had blown up since last night, ever since Jin hyung had requested every one to come to Yoongi's for a "family" meeting.

There were new texts now, informing that everyone was on their way there now which catapulted him into action.

He quickly pulled on his tshirt and shook the excess water from his hair. He didn't have much time for breakfast today so he had laid out a few cereal boxes and a bowl hoping Tae would fend for himself for today. How the man had managed to survive on his own for so long was a mystery to him.

He rushed out, grabbing his keys and wallet, he needed to catch the bus and was running very late.

Taehyung's room was still quiet so he assumed the older was still sleeping. He hurried out, letting the door click closed behind him. He sprinted to the bus stop and hopped on to the bus that was already stationed there. He sat down on a seat and sighed, checking his phone again.

Jin hyung's message had been on the group chat which had surprised him coz that meant Namjoon hyung and Hobi hyung would be there too.

Was he expected to bring Tae? He wondered uncomfortably. Taehyung wasn't a part of the group chat and no one had bothered to invite him in either. Was he expected to bring him in coz they were married now and living together? Or should he have already added him to the group? This was so confusing. Why hadn't Jimin done it yet?

He rubbed his temples, this was all so complicated sometimes. He should've asked Jimin.

Well, too late now anyway, he twisted his mouth and stared out the window.

He checked his phone again, there was a text from his mom asking him to confirm his availability for the family trip. They were hoping to meet his husband and were willing to be flexible with their schedule to accommodate theirs. He sent a quick reply that they'd both be there and a few options for their long weekends and put his phone back into his pocket.

He got off at his stop and walked to his old apartment. It was kind of nostalgic. He missed living with Yoongi, things were simpler, less awkward and most definitely easier.

"Kookie!"

Jungkook looked around at the source of the call.

"Hey Gyu! I didn't know you would be here." Jungkook said as he approached him.

Mingyu grinned and hugged his shoulders in response. "Yeah, Jin hyung texted me last night."

Jungkook gave him a small smile but internally he was panicking. Did he screw up? If Mingyu was here, surely Taehyung should be here too? It wasn't a secret that Tae wasn't in the best of terms with his friends because of how he had behaved. But now, things were obviously different. If he texted him now, would he think it was on second thought or out of pity?

Man, this is so messed up.

".........tomorrow?" Mingyu was still talking, Jungkook realised.

"Sorry, what?" Jungkook shook his head.

"You didn't listen to anything I said, did you?" Mingyu chuckled.

They stepped out of the elevator. And walked to the apartment.

"My head's just not in the right place." Jungkook mumbled.

"I understand. I asked if I can come pick you up tomorrow morning before practice?" Mingyu knocked on Yoongi's door.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks, Gyu." Jungkook smiled at him and Mingyu threw his arm over his shoulders again, pulling him closer as the door opened.

Jungkook's heart stilled as he looked into the narrowed gaze of his husband. Taehyung's eyes traveled from his own to the man glued to his side and then back to the arm that was resting comfortably on his shoulder. His jaw clenched.

"Tae...??!!" Jungkook said in surprise. He watched as the older's eyes shuttered, closing off all emotions, making Jungkook frown in frustration.

"Jeon" he acknowledged curtly, walking away and leaving the door open for them.

Jungkook pushed out of Mingyu's hold and hurried in behind Taehyung.

How was he here? Was he mad at him?

"Great! Everyone is here now." Jin looked around at them.

Jungkook was on his way across the room towards where Tae stood beside Jimin, but the stormy look on his face stopped him in his tracks. Jimin was looking in another direction and shook his head infinitesimally, but Jungkook understood that it was meant for him.

"Gentlemen and Gentlegays...." Jin started, looking pointedly at Jimin and Tae, tongue firmly tucked into his cheek as he held back a laugh. Jimin rolled his eyes but grinned, Tae just gritted his teeth.

"I called you all here today to make an announcement. But before that, I just want to say that I'm sorry. I know some of you might feel hurt because I haven't said anything to any of you until now, though I have been thinking of it for about a month now. But there was so much going on, I didn't want to burden any of you." Jin swallowed and his smile seemed strained now.

He took in a long breath before looking around and starting again. "Some of you know that my relationship with Hye-Jinah was on rocky ground for the last few months. With her law school and her job as a paralegal, she barely got any time for anything else. I-Including me." His voice shook slightly.

Jungkook stepped towards him "Hyung...."

Jin held up a hand to stop him but Jungkook still seemed to continue moving forward so Mingyu grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

Taehyung had been watching the two since the moment they had walked in. He had hoped that Jungkook would tell him about this meeting last night after Jimin had called. He was hoping to go together, but then Jungkook hadn't bothered saying a word to him about it and now he knew why!

He already had a ride and didn't need him.

It wasn't a very comfortable thought to have so he stifled it down for now.

He let out a huff of impatience. Though his face was completely impassive his fists were clenched so tight, the skin on his knuckles was stretched thin.

He didn't like how easily Mingyu seemed to have control over Jungkook.

Jungkook, however seemed completely oblivious to Taehyung's turmoil, he shook off Mingyu's arm and stared back at Jin in confusion, waiting for him to explain further.

Small consolation, Taehyung thought, flexing his hands as he struggled to concentrate on Jin who was speaking again.

"I tried, you guys. I really did. I was so desperate to find some sort of an anchor for our drifting ship that I..." Jin paused and looked down at the floor, taking in a deep breath. "I proposed to her."

"Oh?" Namjoon spoke for the first time, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

A short bark of a laughter left Yoongi while Jimin clapped happily.

"Wow, hyung that's great news!" Hobi walked to Jin with his arms wide open for a hug "Congratula..."

Jin stepped back still looking at the floor.

"Jin hyung?" Jungkook called in a small voice.

Jin dragged his eyes off the floor and met his wide ones.

"She refused and b-broke up with me."

All hell broke loose.

Jungkook could no longer hold back and threw himself in Jin's arms.

"I'm so sorry, hyung! I really believed she was the one for you" Jungkook cried.

"I believed that too, dongsaeng." Jin answered softly.

The rest of the boys walked up to them and hugged them.

Tae stood aside awkwardly staring at Mingyu who was rubbing Jungkook's back comfortingly but hadn't joined the group.

"Arasso Arasso. Gwenchana." Jin spoke after a minute of listening to their quiet mumblings and letting them hold him through his pain.

"Is this the announcement? Hyung, seriously? Couldn't you speak to any one of us? We could have been there for you. I can't believe you went through that alone." Yoongi scolded.

"For a whole damn month!" Jungkook said angrily.

"Actually.... more like two months really." Jin answered sheepishly. He backed off a little at the half angry half horrified expressions on their faces. "I am sorry. I couldn't tell you. I'm the oldest, aren't I? I'm supposed to be there for you, not add to your troubles and there was so much going on between all you lovebirds." Jin chuckled.

"Not funny." Jimin said drily.

"Not even remotely." Yoongi agreed.

"Not even in the same general area of funny, really." Hobi added.

"Okay enough. And No, that was not the announcement." Jin bit his lip nervously as his ears turned red. "I feel so guilty but it's something that I need to do for myself."

Everyone stared at him with bated breath.

"I'm moving to the U.K." Jin announced followed by complete silence, until chaos reined again, everyone talking over one another.

Jin stood, quietly eyeing them all. "I know it's sudden."

They continued to stare blankly at him. Expecting him to laugh out loud at any moment like it was some silly joke. But the longer he didn't, the stiffer they became until Yoongi broke the silence.

"Well too bad you can't. I won't let you." Yoongi walked away into the kitchen, effectively closing the conversation.

Jungkook stared wide eyed at them. Jin hyung would leave?

Jungkook's heart clenched painfully. Jin was like, if both his parents moulded into this one person who loved him like his own and took care of him in every possible way. He didn't know if he would have made it in New York without his hyung. He clung to Jin again and tightened his grip as if trying to physically hold him back from leaving.

"Yah! Jungkookah!" Jin chuckled. "I'm only going away for a while, not dying" He laughed again when Jungkook refused to let go. "You can always come visit me, little one." He ruffled his hair lovingly.

"No, he wont!" Yoongi yelled from the kitchen. "You know why?" He asked, stomping his way back out "coz you ain't leaving, Hyung!" He screamed. Jimin rubbed his shoulders and pulled him close but Yoongi shrugged it off.

"I am, Yoongiya.. I'm sorry, but I really need this." Jin begged.

"But you're just running away!" Yoongi retorted angrily. Jimin squeezed his hand in his own and tried to calm him.

"Maybe I am. Can you really blame me? Everything reminds me of her!" Jin's breath hitched in his throat and Jungkook felt the tremor that went through him and he knew then, that his hyung was barely holding on by a thread. He was just putting on a brave front for them all.

Jungkook knew what he had to do.

"Yoongi hyung" Jungkook called softly. "He's got to do what's right for him and only he has the right to decide what that is." Jungkook said, his voice muffled as his face was still hidden on Jin's shoulder. "I will miss you, hyungie"

"Ah! I will miss you too. All you idiots. I will miss all of you." Jin sniffed lightly.

Namjoon barrelled into him with force making them both topple over, the rest followed until they were a big pile of groaning bodies.

~~~~~~~~~

Tae sat at the table sipping on his broth. The food was delicious. Jungkook, Yoongi and Jin had cooked together and the spread they had laid out was nothing short of a symphony. He loved Korean food but since he survived mostly on takeouts, which usually involved pizzas or quick burgers, this was a real treat. Jungkook mostly cooked American or Italian cuisine at home and Taehyung wondered if that was because the younger thought that was what he preferred. But if tonight's dishes were any indication, Jungkook's real talent was obviously Korean.

A low moan left him as het bit into a tender piece of meat. He made a mental note to mention it in passing that he preferred this over spaghetti any day.

Jimin and Jungkook were lazying on the couch having finished their meal and were halfheartedly arguing over which movie they should watch.

Tae stared at the boy who was teasing and giggling like he had in Vegas. He sighed, he missed those giggles and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get him to laugh like that, carefree and real. He was always holding back, his words measured, his smiles slow and his laughter strained.

They had formed a comfortable friendship over the last week. Though Jungkook was still very annoying and more than a little messy, he was steadily growing on him. He realised he had started to look forward to going home in the evening and sit in the living room, pretending to be doing his schoolwork and quietly listening to the younger sing while he cooked. Jungkook's voice was so beautiful, he had hardly believed it at first. Was there anything he couldn't do? Tae wondered, not for the first time since he had met him.

He finished his meal and rinsed his plate. Namjoon and Mingyu had already finished cleaning the kitchen while Taehyung hadn't been able to stop eating.

Tae quickly cleared the remaining food and headed back to the living room.

"Move over kids." He drawled as he sat down on the sofa next to Jungkook. "I want to catch the highlights of today's baseball match" he said reaching for the remote on the table.

Both Jungkook and Jimin lunged for the remote but he grabbed it first. Laughing and holding it high up over his head as he leaned back over the armrest of the couch, trying to keep it out of reach from the two of them.

Jungkook tried to reach for it but got pulled away by Jimin who lunged for Tae next. Taehyung swung himself off the couch and made a dash for the kitchen, laughing madly while being chased by the two.

Their laughter echoed through the house.

"Try not to bring the whole building down, would you?!" Yoongi yelled from the living room.

"Kids" Namjoon shook his head, eyes still glued to the phone screen.

Jungkook almost grabbed Tae's arm but he slipped away and ran back to the living room. Jimin ran behind him followed closely by Jungkook who pushed the older out of his way.

Just as Tae was running towards the bedroom, he tripped over something he suspected was Yoongi's foot, that sent him sprawling on to the carpet. He turned over just in time to see Jungkook pounce on him.

The younger wriggled over him as he tried to reach for the remote that Taehyung was still straining to hold away from him.

His eyes alight with laughter and mischief, little husky giggles shaking him, his cheeks flushed with excitement, Jungkook had never looked more beautiful. And he was so close, so very close. Taehyung could smell his mouthwatering cologne, he wanted to lean in and bury himself in that scent. He could also feel his warm breath on the side of his face, he'd just have to turn his face an inch and their lips could meet. His little giggles were doing unspeakable damage to his already fragile control. Having Jungkook on top of him like this, it was sending currents right down to his.....

He froze. His panic killing his laughter in his throat.

"Get the fuck off of me, you creep!" Taehyung screamed. "You just have to find an excuse to touch me, don't you?"

The words were out before he could think them through. He watched the light die in Jungkook's eyes and the smile fade from his lips as he gulped before slowly pulling himself off.

The corners of Jungkook's mouth turned down and his eyes looked suspiciously shiny for a moment before he mumbled a quiet "Sorry" and walked away.

Guilt, sharp and painful sliced through Taehyung. He wanted to take it back the moment he had said it. He had never wanted to say it in the first place.

Why had he? Why did he always say stuff he didn't mean around Jungkook?

He looked at Jimin who stood motionless staring after Jungkook. Everyone had frozen in place at the scene except Mingyu who had followed Jungkook on to the balcony.

"That was not cool." Jimin admonished Taehyung who stood up, getting off the floor. "He didn't do anything wrong, Taehyungie. That wasn't fair."

"I know." Taehyung answered softly, unable to meet his best friend's eyes. "I was uncomfortable and I lashed out." The half lie burned in his mouth. He had lashed out not because he was uncomfortable but because he realised he wanted more. His body was still thrumming with electricity from feeling Jungkook's muscled form pressed up against him.

"That's not an excuse for treating him like he was trying to force himself on you." Hobi said harshly and walked out to join Mingyu and Jungkook out on the balcony.

Taehyung could feel Yoongi seething with anger and staring daggers at him. He knew the only reason why he hadn't said anything was because of Jimin.

He didn't know what to do. Should he go apologise?

Had he managed to destroy what little semblance of companionship they had managed to find?

His chest ached as he remembered the look on Jungkook's face.

Maybe he should apologise, he decided, there was too much at stake. He didn't want to go back to the cold, no-talking zone. He really enjoyed their time together and didn't want to ruin their budding friendship.

Taehyung turned towards the balcony but stopped when he saw the younger walk back in, his hand firmly grasped in Mingyu's.

Mingyu gave Tae a deathly glare and then turned around to hug Jungkook firmly.

"So, I will pick you up tomorrow morning, we can go have breakfast at that cafe you really like, 'kay?" Mingyu said with a smile, his arms still around Jungkook.

It was making Taehyung's whole body itch.

He wanted to pull those arms clean off their sockets. He wasn't a person who indulged in any form of violence but he was willing to make an exception.

"Um.. Actually I have an appointment tomorrow morning, Gyu." Jungkook answered politely extracting himself.

The nickname grated on Taehyung's already stretched out nerves.

"Lunch then?" Mingyu suggested.

Jungkook hesitated.

"Come on, Kookie." Mingyu cajoled and Taehyung wanted to rip his head off.

Gyu and Kookie.

Gag!

He just barely held himself back. He wanted to push Mingyu away, he was still standing far too close to Jungkook.

"All you have done in the past few months is study and go to practice. When did you go out last, huh? Come on! Go out with me tomorrow." Mingyu persisted.

Jungkook still looked unsure which made a tiny hope flare up in Taehyung's heart. He knew it wasn't fair but he couldn't help it.

"Go on, Kookie. It will be fun." Jimin encouraged.

Wait, what? I thought we were best friends! Taehyung thought as rage coursed through him.

Jungkook was looking away.

Look at me! Tae wanted to scream.

"Okay." Jungkook agreed.

NO!

What the fuck was happening?

His emotions were all over the place. He was spiralling so hard, his head spun.

It shouldn't matter if Jungkook wanted to go out. He didn't need permission. They weren't together, for God's sake.

Jungkook was free to see anyone he wanted, he shouldn't care. Then why did it feel like something wanted to claw its way out of his chest. Why did it feel like he could commit murder at this moment? Why was everything suddenly falling apart?

And why couldn't he do anything to stop it?

Jin cleared his throat breaking through the fog of Taehyung's thoughts.

"Kim Taehyung" Jin addressed him directly for the very first time and Tae's head whipped around to look at him.

"I wanted to speak to you for a while now but it was never a good time." Jin started and Tae swallowed at the seriousness in his tone.

Jin turned his gaze towards Jungkook who sat quietly on the couch as Jimin tried to tickle him and make him smile.

"Jungkook seems mature for his age but he's still a kid. I hope you know that." Jin continued to look at them.

Jungkook had accidentally knocked Jimin's head and was now apologising profusely, his brows drawn in concern, rubbing the bump gently, though Jimin was still giggling.

"He has a soft heart which he wears on his sleeve. He might seem flighty or airheaded sometimes, but I know that he cares deeply and loves fiercely." Jin smiled fondly and turned to look at Taehyung.

"Please don't hurt him, Taehyungah, he's just too precious." Jin said sincerely. "He's like my baby brother, I really love him and cannot bear to see him in pain."

Taehyung struggled to answer.

"I will try, Hyung. I never really meant to hurt him, you know. Things just always kinda seem to snowball out of control." Taehyung replied honestly. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want." He held his head in his hands and bent down with guilt still eating at him.

"You are a good man too, Taehyung." Jin said making Taehyung's head snap up to look at him to make sure that he had heard him right.

"You seem surprised." Jin said with a smile.

"I am. I didn't think any of you liked me very much." Taehyung asked.

"We don't." Jin shrugged "Can you really blame us? We take care of our own here."

Taehyung looked down at the floor again, shame gutted him.

"But that doesn't mean you are a bad person, Taehyung. In fact I think underneath all of the bravado is a scared little boy who just wants to be loved." Jin smiled knowingly.

"But I think you are also scared being loved, that's the problem." Jin spoke with a knowing glint in his eyes. "You may have your reasons, but try to work through it, Tae. Don't let something good slip out of your grasp." Jin smiled at him. "Let him love you."

Let him love you.

Such small simple little words.

The words echoed over and over in his mind.

They still echoed through him while he sat quietly in a corner watching the rest of them talk, while he watched as Jimin slowly pulled Jungkook back out of his shell, while Mingyu kissed the top of Jungkook's head before he left, while he said goodbye to Jin, Hobi and Namjoon, while he helped Yoongi carry a drunk Jimin to bed, while he listened to Jungkook beg Yoongi to let him stay there for the night because he didn't want to go home, while he drove home alone and most loudly they echoed while he lay in his bed staring at the ceiling.

Let him love you.

Was that what he had been struggling with all his life? Was he scared of being loved?

Let him love you.

Could he? Was it really that simple?

He'd had a hard time trusting or getting close to people since his parents died. His life had turned upside down overnight and the only people he trusted since then were Jimin and his Halmeoni.

Maybe that's why he hadn't been able to commit to a single relationship over the years. The only reason he had been with Kate so long was because she happened to love herself a lot more than she cared about him.

Let him love you.

He thought of the boy with large doe like eyes, a pretty bunny-toothed smile, giggles that could melt ice at the north pole and a body that was hotter than sin. The thought of his body had his blood rushing south again and he squirmed under the sheets.

No matter how much he hated his body's reaction to Jungkook, he had to admit that the boy was deviously attractive and that he liked being in his presence. He enjoyed having him around. And right now, he missed him.

Even if they didn't share a bed, he was usually just a door away and now he wasn't.

Because he hadn't wanted to come home.

Because yet again, Tae hadn't been able to control himself and had hurt him.

Let him love you.

He gulped, closing his eyes, imagining the two of them being together, happily in love.

His heart hammered in his chest and his breath quickened. Panic rose like bile in his throat.

Shit.

So he was scared, Jin hyung was right.

***********

A/n: Yay! I am back!!

And
Tae is finally on the right path 😉