The days passed in a fuzzy blur of condolences, calls and cocktails. Sophie did her best to get through each minute at a time, having to use every ounce of willpower not to scream at the top of her lungs.

She had her children to consider, and despite her mother having arrived who'd been taking care of them for the last two days while she took care of everything else, Sophie needed to at least appear strong even if that strength wasn't within in her.

Ella still didn't understand where her daddy was and why he'd never be coming home again. She was much sharper than she was generally given credit for because of her age and saw the gloomy cloud that emerged above their house like a plague, ready and willing to devour them. Yet in her young daughter's heart, her father was still alive and somewhere out there in the world, awaiting to greet her once again somewhere down the line.

Justin's age didn't allow him the leisure of deceptive optimism. The reality of what happened to his father consumed her son in a way she couldn't reassure. He'd been performing the blame game since it happened, saying that if she'd only loved him more, he wouldn't have been driving around that night and would still be alive.

The cold hard realism of it all, however, was that it was he who hadn't loved her; not in the manner they expected a husband to love a wife. Sophie hoped beyond hope that he'd loved her in some other small way for all these years. If there'd been any love at all, she would no longer consider her youth wasted. She would no longer be obsessed by the secret resentment that raged within her.

Sophie was crying for losing her children's father and of the man she'd spent the last nine years wholly in love with before it all fell apart in an array of shattered pieces too damaged to piece together. Though she remained his wife on paper, she was not his wife in his heart or her own at the end and that loss seemed stronger than death at that moment. She was so devastated by the destruction of her marriage that it seemed impossible to concentrate on the death itself.

"Sophie, will you please concentrate," Laura scolded as she snapped fingers in front of her face as if she were a waitress Laura considered herself superior to.

Laura may have been rooting for the marriage to end, but didn't appear informed of Jason's plans or follow-through to end it. Her mother-in-law seemed to know nothing and Sophie didn't dare bring it up.

A part of Sophie just wanted to cremate him and dispersed the ashes somewhere out in the world. Maybe give some to her husband's girlfriend, whoever she was, or smuggle the ashes into his work since it appeared to be the only thing in his life that he loved. But tradition forced her to pick out a casket and bury him in the family plot. Seeing as his family had been here for generations upon generations, all of them together in death, there was no other option.

The only option was for Sophie to grin and bear it all. After the funeral, surely the haze would lift and she could feel something real from all of this besides her own fury; feel the genuine loss deep in her bones so she could pick up her scattered life and put the fragments together again. As Sophie stood there staring at the caskets, the only thing Laura seemed willing to let her decide on. The reality of what happened and what was happening still hadn't yet sunk in. Like her daughter, she still expected Jason to be out there in the world and return to her, only for her to endure him leaving her yet again.

At least then her children would still have a father, even if she no longer had a husband.

Sophie pointed at a casket with a cherry finish. "That one."

"Really?" Laura asked as she crossed her arms and surveyed it. "I would have expected you to choose a less extravagant one."

There was enough history with her monster-in-law to appreciate the underlining meaning in her remarks. 'Less extravagant' meant that Laura thought she would pick a cheap piece of crap one because Sophie generally didn't like spending money on things that didn't matter. She didn't demand nor desire the most costly of anything.

It was her background, she presumed. Where Laura had all the money she could ever want, Sophie never grew accustomed to having money because they kept their incomes separate and Jason was never one to fawn on her with lavish gifts. She also grew up with little money and learned the true value of it and that there was never an unending supply.

But Laura was right. While Sophie wasn't sure she had a specific taste with caskets, this wouldn't be one she'd spend her own eternity in. "It isn't for me," she answered while nearing the perfectly constructed casket. "It's for Jason. This is what he'd choose for himself, I think."

Because it was refined, and despite her husbands many faults, he had exceptional taste and insisted on keeping up appearances rather than living below his means.

Sophie felt Laura's hand grasp her own and looked down at the intertwined hands as if she'd just encountered the Loch Ness monster. She could count the times Laura held her in some way on one hand and probably wouldn't require all five fingers to do so.

"It's perfect, Sophie," she spoke softly as a few tears dripped from her hazel eyes. "Truly."

Seeing as this would be the closest thing she'd ever get to a compliment, Sophie smiled affectionately at Laura.

The door dinged behind them and Sophie turned at the abrupt noise to see a rustic monster of a man with stains on his jeans and boots. He stood out like a sore thumb in this neighborhood; much like Sophie herself did for some time before Jason insisted she dress the part.

When their eyes locked, she caught only a trace of grief within them and Sophie turned to avoid the distraction. Still, she could hear the noise of his paint covered boots approach them and within moments he was by Laura's side.

Laura glanced over at the man who was standing next to her and Sophie watched as her lips parted, then hastily closed as she eyed him up and down a few times. "You could have cleaned yourself up a bit."

"Nice to see you too, Laura."

Just then, the man became her hero.

Sophie only wished she could be like that; to brush off her opinions like they were nothing. His eyes connected with hers again, and the deepness of the brown made them appear old and soulful.

"Sophie, this is Joel's son from his first marriage, Lucas. Lucas, this is your brother's wife. I'm not sure if the two of you have met before."

She hadn't. It was embarrassing to admit considering her and Jason had been together for a decade, but she hadn't met her husband's brother even once in all that time. Sophie often forgot he even existed until he was brought up in conversation. There were a few photographs of him as a teen in her in-laws house, but nothing in the slightest bit recent.

Even then, the photos looked nothing like the man standing by Laura's side.

Jason visited him maybe once a year, if that, but never invited him to visit them as far as she knew. He'd been invited to the wedding, but hadn't shown. 

He held out his hand and Sophie let go of Laura's to shake it, feeling the callouses rub against her skin. It was hard to believe there was someone in this family who did real manual labor, but the roughness of his hands didn't lie.

"I'm sorry we aren't meeting under better circumstances, Sophie." His voice came out soft and subdued and had a much deeper pitch than that of his younger brother. It was the type of tone she'd heard on the phone over and over again while making preparations for Jason's funeral and would have been soothing if it hadn't been irritating the crap out of her for the last three days.

"Lucas, why don't you take Sophie out to eat while I fill out some paperwork. I doubt you'll be allowed to dine anywhere nearby looking like that, but maybe somewhere in Branson. If you don't mind, of course. There are so many things I need to get done today."

When fresh tears graced Laura's face, Lucas gave a brief nod and signaled to the door. "I'd be happy to."

Sophie was reluctant, but she understood he was family and Laura probably didn't hate her enough to send her off with a felon. Of course, she wouldn't put it passed her either. And even though she wasn't hungry, Sophie hadn't eaten in the last two days. She only hoped her churning stomach would accept it.

After giving her mother-in-law a polite squeeze on the shoulder and the casket she picked out a last glance before she would see her husband in it, Sophie followed Lucas out of the door and into the fresh summer air.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner," Lucas spoke beside her as they stood on the sidewalk, making no move to go one direction or the other. "My dad and I got in an argument last month. I can't even remember what it was about anymore, but when I saw him call, I couldn't bring myself to answer. He showed up at my door last night."

"That's not really something you should tell someone over the phone anyhow, is it?" Sophie knew little of the relationship between this father and son. It made her appear more like a stranger than ever before.

Lucas looked over at her and thrust his hands in the pockets of his stained jeans. "My dad tends to go the route that's most convenient for him. That's how it's always been. And if you do make things difficult for him, he makes sure you know it."

Laura was the same way, which she supposed was one of the many reasons they were a match made in heaven. She remembered it taking forever to set a date for the wedding because most of the dates impeded their schedule. They weren't out of town or anything, they just didn't want to reorganize their lives to accommodate a wedding they didn't agree with.

"I'm guessing I'm not telling you anything you don't already know."

Sophie forced a smile on her face and shook her head, her short wavy hair sticking to her face from a mild breeze. The smile dimmed and Sophie turned to look back into the building they'd just walked out of, her eyes falling on Laura speaking to the funeral director.

She couldn't imagine the pain Laura was going through while arranging her only child's funeral. The two women never got along, but she wouldn't wish that agony on anyone.

Then she remembered the only fact she was told about Jason's brother. Sometime around their wedding, he'd lost his daughter.

"Has it hit you yet, losing your brother?" Sophie asked after turning back to look at him. She didn't want to bring up his previous loss after just having met him.

Lucas let out a harsh sigh and looked up at the sky as if he were seeking answers in the clouds above, the gray in his beard becoming more notable with the angle. "I guess I always looked at Jason and my dad being cut from the same silk cloth, and I was cut from a used dishrag that was stuck under a counter for years. Completely different purpose in life and left behind and forgotten. I've lived my entire adult life and most of my childhood without them. I've lost my brother, but I never really had him to begin with, if that makes any sense."

More sense than he could imagine. Sophie's father had died a year after she married. Despite the occasional birthday card that came in the mail a month late, she hadn't seen him since she was thirteen. There was always some excuse on why he couldn't be there for her and Sophie had long since given up having him in her life. It didn't feel like a loss of life so much as a loss of last chances; the end of 'what could have been' or 'what he could have had' if only he'd wanted it enough.

"It hasn't hit you yet, has it?" Lucas asked, already seeming to know the answer.

Sophie shook her head and shivered at the chilly breeze. "Not like it should, but I'm guessing it will soon enough."

There was no doubt in Sophie's mind that once the crack in her life spread, it would swallow her whole.