"I know where she is"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa gulat. For a moment I didn't know what to do.

I waited for this all week but then I can't seem to process it right at the moment.

I called the unknown number.

Nasagot na agad on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Sophia?" I was confused.

I couldn't talk.

"I know where's Ali"

"P-po?" I stuttered. I grabbed my hair in confusion if this is really happening, who is this?

"It's Eliz, Sophia.. please let me know kung nasan ka"

Eliz? ate Eliz?

"Hello? Sophia are you there?"

"Uh- uhm opo, ate.." I stumbled on my words, I want to believe this.

"Ate sa condo po ni Ali, papunta na po ako" I got my mind straight, I need to think right fast.

I ran back sa class only to grab my bag and charge my way out quickly ignoring whoever was yelling my name.

I was in a taxi on my way sa condo ni Ali when Keily called me.

"Keil, please magrason ka naman muna sa next classes natin pupuntahan ko si Ali" I said before immediately ending the call.

Keily couldn't even say a word, I was panicking.

Bakit saakin sinabi ni ate Eliz? alam na ba ng parents ni Ali kung saan siya, is she safe? good God I need her safe please.

Hindi ko alam kung anong uunahin kong isipin sa nangyayari, may chance pa ba akong makahingi ng tawad kay Ali? am I too late?

Where is she, is she doing okay? I can't bear thinking kung may nangyaring masama sakanya.

Nasa elevator na ako when I received a call from ate Eliz, hindi ko pa pala nasave yung number niya.

"Sophia nasa door na ako ng unit ni Ali, where are you?" she sounded troubled.

"Paakyat na yung elevator ate, please wait for me"

The elevator door opened and I instantly saw ate Eliz looking at me with her phone in her ear.

She carried a worried look. I walked towards her half running, hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko.

If she knows where Ali is, alam din niya yung nangyari why she disappeared.

Palapit na ako sakanya when she hugged me tightly.

I couldn't stop my tears from falling, what is happening? is everything okay?

"Soph.."

I looked at her asking what happened.

"Pack your things kahit konti lang, nasa Batangas si Ali"

I heard it, I got my answer. I smiled while tears are still flowing down my cheeks.

I ran inside and grabbed necessary things, a pair of shirt and pants, my charger, heck I was trembling hindi ko na alam kung anong mga pinulot ko at nilagay sa bag.

In less than four minutes I was already rushing out the building with ate Eliz.

She brought her car, a white Mercedes-Benz SUV.

"How did you know she's there ate?" I broke the silence between us.

She sighed before looking at me apologetically.

"Ako kasi ang kinocontact ng care taker ng bahay dun, I got a call that Ali was there and she was telling them that they could go home muna, and she'll be staying.."

Does this mean alam na niya last week pa?

"I'm sorry, I know I should have told you guys sooner, when tita called me na nawawala si Ali sobrang nakonsesnya na ako but Ali called me before na wag akong magsasalita about it"

She looked very guilty.

"I'm really sorry I kept it, dapat hindi ko na kayo pinahirapan-"

"It's fine ate.. naiintindihan ko po, desisyon ni Ali yun, ako yung nagkamali sakanya.. I deserve more than this hell" I felt empty once again.

Like there's something draining me from inside, I can't seem to see kung saan kukuha ng lakas when I pulled every string already.

"Ali's just hurt" I heard ate Eliz say.

She looked at me with a look I can't describe, like she's half smiling.

"She did that once, before.."

I looked at her, she was focused sa daan while speaking.

"When we were about to sell that house.." she laughed weakly.

"Ugh she's such a brat.. she stayed there and refused to leave, ayaw niya kumain, lumabas ng kwarto. She played games all day long.."

She hit the steering wheel lightly.

"Gosh! she only comes out to play the piano, what a loser that kid"

She was laughing lightly, but sadly.

I didn't know aabot sa ganito, anlaki ng naging epekto nito kay Ali. I feel so irresponsible sa nangyari.

I smiled bitterly.

I am, I was.. very irresponsible, like I didn't have any bravery left in me.

I lost to fear and distrust, I lost Ali.

"Sophia?" I heard ate Eliz waking me up lightly.

"We're here" napabaligwas ako sa gulat when I realized na nakarating na kami.

Nanlalamig yung mga palad ko sa kaba, makikita ko na ulit si Ali after what happened.

Will she forgive me? will she smile at me? heck does she even want to see me?

I can barely walk inside when ate Eliz opened the front doors.

The place was as is looked like nung nanggaling kami dito nila Ali.

I regret everything even more thinking what mess have I done? we were so happy, almost perfect. But perfect does not exist, or does it?

In another universe, way past ours, another time.. did I have Ali?

"Nasa kwarto niya.. I should stay here nalang" ate Eliz said before she went sa kitchen to drink water.

Gabi na pala, ilang oras din kami bumiyahe but I can't feel any sign of exhaustion at all.

I slowly walked sa hallway papunta sa kwarto ni Ali, every window na madadaanan ko the moonlight hits my eye.

I feel like I'm onto something I will regret but still my feet kept moving until I was infront of her door.

Huminga ako ng malalim at sinubukan alisin ang mga tumatakbo sa isip ko.

I knocked.

Walang sagot so I knocked again.

Still nothing, the uneasiness started to creep in again.

I knocked for the third time.

I was almost desperate on opening the door, I want to see Ali I want to hug her, tell her I missed her, I want to apologize and take her back to the way we used to be.

But I can't.. I know that if I give in to my own happiness I would only keep hurting Ali.

I sighed before I held the knob.

It's not locked.

"Ali?.. I'm going in" mahina kong sabi, I was hoping she would jump at me and smile and just forget what happened.

How selfish can I get..

I slowly went inside.

The room was dark, walang ilaw na naka on but the television screen, another game.

Then I saw Ali half laying sa kama habang nakasandal sa headboard while playing with her game console.

She acts like hindi niya ako napapansin.

"Ali?" I closed the door silently behind me.

"Ali.." I tried calling her name softly.

She's not answering me.

Kinapa ko yung switch ng ilaw before turning it on.

Ali squinted her eyes but still continued her game.

I was shocked seeing her in this state.

Her undereyes are a stain of dark, her lips were dry though still pink. Her eyes looks so tired and empty, like she has a hole on her.

She's wearing a baggy black shirt and black sweatpants, there's an unfinished plate of cereal in her bedside and cans of soda on the floor.

I closed my mouth taking in everything I'm seeing. Why did Ali do this to herself? fuck. why did I do this to her?

I tried to walk closer to her, I want to take care of her, I want to love her and if I can I want to breathe for her, when it all gets the hardest for the both of us.

I was near her bed when I caught glimpse of a bottle of whiskey sa baba ng kama niya sa side niya.

She was doing this all week? ignoring the world? nagpapakalunod sa alak at marami pang bagay..

Then I looked at her, mapungay ang mga mata niya, she was still pretending that she didn't notice me.

I sat slowly sa tabi niya.

"Boo.."

She turned her head to look at me emotionless.

"Boo.. I-I'm sorry" I began crying again. Shit.

"You came here to say the same thing you said when I left?" she said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"I-I don't know what else to say Ali.."

"Why Hannah?! why did you cheat on me?!" she suddenly burst slamming her game console on the bed.

"I-.." I want to tell her the reason. I want her to know the whole truth, but if I did, alam kong may gagawin siyang mas lalo niya lang ikakapahamak.

"You what?! huh? what Hannah?!"

I stuttered. I just can't say the words, hindi ko kayang malaman niya yung dahilan kung bakit nangyayari to lahat, lalo na yung pinagdaanan ko kay Jake.

I know Ali, she will never stop until she gets what she wants, if I reveal everything to her now mas lalo kaming magkakalayo.

I can't take never seeing Ali again, mas okay na akong nakikita ko siyang masaya sa malayuan than having to think if she's even alive somewhere.

"I'm sorry Ali.." I stood up and looked at her.

She was crying. It breaks me to see her like this, lalo na dahil saakin.

"Hindi ako nakuntento satin, sa mga nabibigay mo, sa mga namamagitan satin, I wanted more.. I found it kay Jake" I said the words I know na talagang makakasakit kay Ali.

It hurts me more than ever but I know I need to do this, I need to be brave for this. For Ali.

"Wh-what?" she can't seem to understand what I was saying.

She laughed bitterly bago tumayo. We're now both standing, only a bed between us.

"No, you'll never do that Anna" she knows me so well, I don't think I can lie to her face.

I wiped my tears.

"I just did Sam" I needed to act tougher than I am.

"No, p-please.. not that" she walked to me.

"Tell me anything, you can tell me anything.." lalo lang akong humagulgol.

Ayaw na kitang idamay Ali! stop proving me that you deserve way more than what I am and have.

She held my cheek and wiped my tears, I felt her hands. It was cold but it made every part of me feel home.

Like I was once again complete, na parang hindi ako kailanman naging magisa..

She held my chin before making me look up at her.

"Please.. boo, I know you love me more than that" she mumbled in her tears.

I looked into her eyes trying to convey pain.

"I'm sorry Ali.. I just don't" dahan dahan siyang bumitaw.

Never have I thought may isasakit pa lahat ng kasinungalingang sasabihin ko kay Ali. It was hell before, then what is this? this is killing me inside.

"Then why did you come here huh?" she coldly asked.

I came here to see you Ali, my love, my everything.. I needed to see you once more, so I can sleep at night, so I can make sure na sasaya ka pa kahit hindi na sakin.

"I came here to give you this" I reached for my pocket before handing her the ring she gave me when we were still in highschool.

"Bullshit!" she pulled it from my hand before throwing it hard kung saan, hindi ko na alam kung san napunta.

She cried harder, I just wiped my tears. We were a mess, who keep destroying each other with every word.

"I'm sorry Ali, but I choose Jake" I firmly said, almost coldly.

I had no emotions for him to even say his name nicely, but I need to do this for Ali, and my family.

She looked at me, her eyes were raging, it was filled with frustration and hatred.

I'm starting to completely lose her, which is what I came here to do. I can't keep her hoping for me, for us to be fixed, she has to go on in her life.

She walked to me, I felt her every step, naramdaman ko kung gaano kabigat lahat ng dala dala namin.

But when she was already infront of me, she melted and her eyes displayed desperation and hope.

Nagulat ako nang bumagsak siya on her knees, lumuhod si Ali sa harapan ko.

"Boo.. please, please.. choose me" she tried to say clearly while crying.

I can't help but cry even harder sa nangyayari, she shouldn't beg for me to choose her, I do, I always will.

I didn't look at her, I had to stop my self from giving in.

"Please.. don't leave me Anna, you're here for me right? right?"

She held my hands, I felt her touch again. It was everything I need. And it hurt even more.

"I'll forgive you.. over and over again, I'll do anything Anna, everything" the way she calls my name is crushing my heart.

It was supposed to be sweet, to feel flustered since siya lang ang tumatawag sakin nun but no, not this one, this one's more on the cruel side.

"I'll fix myself, I'll be more. I'll give you more of everything.." she bowed almost losing her balance sa kakaiyak.

"Just.. just please, please choose me"

I couldn't take it, I ran outside.

"Anna?!!" I heard Ali run after me.

"Sophia!" narinig ko si ate Eliz pagbaba ko before we both heard the piano sound unusual,

Parang nasagi o natuunan, the keys played was dark, loud enought that it echoed.

I looked back to see Ali but she wasn't running after me already. Kinabahan ako bigla but I can't go back.

Tumakbo ako palabas ng bahay.

"Sophia!" I heard ate Eliz one more time but I ignored it at tumakbo lang until I can see the shore.

I was here with Ali almost four years before, this is where we first kissed.

I knelt sa buhangin and cried hard, sinigaw ko na lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

"Tangina! Lord!! ano pang gusto mo!? I lost everything, everyone.. ano pang gusto niyo.." I couldn't stop myself, sumigaw lang ako ng sumigaw until I was dead tired.

I lied down sa buhangin still crying soflty. I can hear the waves from the sea, pushing and pulling with the tide.

Sometimes you decide what the ocean can make you feel, tonight I feel lost, as the crashing continues, I feel betrayed by my own feelings.

I looked at the sky and saw stars looking back.

I laughed bitterly.

"What are you all looking at huh?, must feel nice to just be something from above looking down on all the chaos, but never being a part of it"

What am I doing? I've never felt this broken before.

Nagulat ako nang may humiga sa tabi ko.

I looked beside me and saw Ali.

"A-ali?" I was confused bakit niya ako sinundan dito.

She was breathing hard, panting, parang anlayo ng tinakbo niya, parang pagod na pagod.

Huminga siyang malalim before speaking.

"Uwi na tayo boo.." she sounded off, parang hirap siyang sabihin yung mga salitang iyon.

"Come home to me.."

~~~~~~~

uwu :<