Asahi stared at Nishinoya, confused. It had been three weeks since that night in the bathtub and yet here he was, chipper as ever.

     "Nishi? You okay?" Nishinoya nodded, shoveling bite after bite of his favorite ice cream into his mouth. Asahi chuckled nervously. "If you say so."

     Nishinoya looked up, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Why?"

     "You were just eating as if I haven't been cooking you meals for the past few years."

     "Eh. I'm hungry." He stretched. "And!"

     Asahi sighed. Here it came.

     "Ovulating! I even checked with the doctor about it yesterday and he cleared me to try again. Of course you know that though, I told you as soon as I got out of the hospital." He stopped to catch his breath. "Okay so what I'm saying is-"

     Asahi picked up Nishinoya's bowl and stood.

     Nishinoya faltered before continuing. "I want to try again. Please."

     Asahi turned. "Yuu..."

     "Come on. Even if we don't get it this try you still get sex out of it."

     "I know what I'll get out of it. I just don't want to rush things. Your body is still healing."

     Nishinoya frowned. "I was cleared to try again."

     Asahi gulped. "What if I'm not ready?"

     Nishinoya stared. "What if you're not ready?"

     "I lost something too, Nishi. I really just want what's best for you. For us." He looked away. "I'm not ready to try again."

     Nishinoya felt a rush of anger. He tried to suppress it but it came out as tears welling up in his eyes. "Azumane did you... did you give up?"

     "No!" He cried out. Asahi regained his composure. "No. I'm just saying it's not what I want right now. I want to see you live a little before we try again."

     "I'm alive!" Nishinoya shouted. "Clear as day I am alive! You know who isn't?! My fucking children!"

     "Our! Our children!" Asahi shouted back. He took several deep breaths. "I lost something too! I loved them too! You cannot be so selfish!"

     "Selfish?! Yeah fucking right Asahi!" Nishinoya scoffed, getting out of his chair. It fell to the floor behind him, snapping something inside of him. "I could have died!"

     "I know!" Asahi cried out. "YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW DIFFICULT IT WAS TO SEE YOU ALMOST DEAD IN THAT HOSPITAL BED NISHINOYA! NO CLUE! I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU!"

     Nishinoya advanced on him, grabbing his shirt. "Shut the fuck up."

     Asahi shook, tears coming to his eyes. "I don't want to lose you."

     "And you won't." Nishinoya let go of his shirt and held Asahi's chin. "I am stronger than what you all give me credit for."

     "Please," Asahi begged. He eased Nishinoya's hand off of his face, going to his knees. He bowed his head, fully surrendering. "I'm not ready."

     Nishinoya, for the first time in weeks, saw how broken Asahi truly was. He'd lost his babies too. He got down on his knees and held Asahi. The brunette started to cry, trembling hard. "Shhhh, shhhh." Nishinoya ran his fingers through his hair. "Easy Azumane... easy..."

     Asahi looked up. "They were so... so little." He started to cry harder, sobbing. "Nishi. Please. I can't risk losing anything else."

     Nishinoya's lip trembled. "I know, I know." He leaned into Asahi. "Oh god I know."

*****

     Bokuto watched over Nishinoya, worried. "You okay dude?"

     Nishinoya set down his water bottle. "Peachy. Why do you ask?"

     "You haven't been lifting as much or running either." Bokuto sat down by him on the bench. "What's going on?"

     "I'm trying to tone it back a bit, let my body relax." He set a hand on his stomach. Asahi's words rang clear in his mind. He wasn't ready. Maybe if he saw how good Nishinoya was doing, he'd want to try again.

     Bokuto nodded. "I get it. Is uh... is everything okay?"

     Nishinoya nodded. He'd had to tell Bokuto what was going on, after all he was his trainer and needed to know what was happening with his body.

     "You know, Asahi came in today. I'm surprised you two didn't work out together like usual."

     "We're having a rough patch right now. It's not that big of a deal." Nishinoya looked over and smiled weakly. "Did he at least look okay?"

     "Yeah. A little sad but he looked fine." Bokuto leaned back, popping his back as he did so. "Shouldn't you know?"

     "About that. I'm staying with Shimizu and Ryu for the time being."

     Bokuto's eyes widened. "That bad?"

     "He needs space to heal. He lost something too, you know?" Nishinoya sighed heavily. "Are we done?"

     Bokuto nodded. "Yeah man. Hey, if you ever need anything let me know. Kaashi and I might be busy, but we can make time for a friend."

     Nishinoya nodded. He headed for his bag and then left the gym, heading to a train station. As he stood waiting for the next train, he thought long and hard about what Asahi had said the previous night. Maybe he was being a bit selfish but his body had killed something.

     Nishinoya stepped on the train and tried to ignore the stares. He wasn't binding due to safety concerns and he looked slightly feminine because of it. He hated it but it would prevent him from damaging his chest when they did try again. If they ever tried again.

     He walked into the Tanaka household and smiled. The smile faltered though as he heard loud crying from the nursery. Shimizu hurried across the living room, dropping her cleaning supplies. "Mommy's coming Yuuto! Hold on just a moment!"

     Nishinoya followed her after taking off his shoes. For the next fifteen minutes nothing worked as Shimizu tried to calm her son. She tried music, feeding, and a diaper change but nothing seemed to click just right. She sighed heavily and turned to Nishinoya.

     "Where is the gripe water?"

     "You ran out last night."

     "Oh goodness." She rocked Yuuto a little faster as he cried louder. Her once shoulder length hair was cropped short and a mess, her eye bags evident through her hair.

     "I can try to calm him down," the younger offered. He held out his hands and immediately was given Yuuto. He smiled. "Well hello there." Yuuto screamed, throwing his cherry tomato red face to the ceiling. Nishinoya hummed and walked to the bathroom, turning on the faucet in the tub. He felt the water and put Yuuto's bath chair in place. "Here we go. The water used to make me feel better all the time."

     Nishinoya set Yuuto on the mat by the bathtub and took off his diaper before putting him in the chair and immediately the screams stopped. Nishinoya grinned.

     "Hell yeah." He picked up a small plastic cup from next to the tub and filled it halfway with water before easing it over Yuuto. "There we are little dude."

     Shimizu peeked into the bathroom and smiled. "He calmed down."

     "Sure did. Just needed uncle Yuu, isn't that right?" Yuuto cooed softly at him. Nishinoya laughed. "Yep."

     "Thank you so much, really. I thought he'd nap longer than what he did and started cleaning."

     "I don't mind at all." Nishinoya rubbed Yuuto's chubby belly and hummed. "When he's done in here I can cook dinner."

     "Oh Ryu is, but thank you." She leaned by the tub and smiled at her precious son, her very pride and joy. "Daddy is going to make your favorite."

     "Ooh what's his favorite?"

     "It's just miso soup. He can't stomach many solid foods so we give him that."

     Nishinoya nodded. He lifted Yuuto out of the tub and held him to his chest. "Here we go."

     "You're amazing Yuu, don't forget that." Shimizu stood and took Yuuto slowly. She held him to her own chest and he whined softly. "He's tired."

     Nishinoya chuckled. "When's Ryunosuke gonna be home?"

     "Already am!" Tanaka called from the front of the house. He found the two and smiled. "Aw, was uncle Noya helping?"

     Nishinoya punched his arm lightly. "It's not cute, I'm just being nice!"

     "You know what would be really nice? If Asahi wouldn't have called me asking how you were earlier."

     Nishinoya's smile dropped. He sighed and turned back to draining the tub. "He needs the space."

     Tanaka shared a look with his wife and nodded. "Noya..."

     "No, I'm not listening. He needs space."

     "If you say so."

     Nishinoya nodded and turned. "Let's go make dinner, yeah?"

*****

     Asahi had now been alone for two weeks.

    He stared at his cold bowl of soup and gulped. He could barely breathe without Nishinoya there. Could barely walk, talk, or even think. He should have just said yes. Should have stopped worrying that it would hurt Nishinoya to continue to try.

     The door unlocked and he tensed. "Hello?"

     Nishinoya stepped through the door and gasped. "Shit!"

     "Yuu?" Asahi stood and headed towards him, fully prepared to take him into his arms.

     Tanaka appeared behind the shorter male and waved, obviously tired. "Hey Asahi."

     "What's going on?"

     "I was coming to get more clothes." Nishinoya walked past Asahi, avoiding his touch despite everything in his body screaming at him to reach out and hold his lovely partner.

     Tanaka gestured to Nishinoya quickly. "Dude, now or never!"

     Asahi rushed after Nishinoya, closing the front door first. "Nishinoya. Nishinoya please-"

     Nishinoya turned, alarmed. "What? What do you want?"

     Asahi gulped, hands shaking. "You."

     "Oh come on, be original." Nishinoya snatched up his jacket.

     Asahi took the jacket and tossed it to the side, grabbing Nishinoya by both wrists and pulling him close. Nishinoya looked up, eyes wide.

     "Asahi?"

     Asahi took a deep breath. "Please."

     "What do you want Asahi? You said you didn't want to try again for a while so I'm giving you space to heal. You need to heal."

     "I have gotten space. I've learned. I'll never ever yell at you again. I promise on my own life-"

     "Oh shut up."

     "What?" Asahi whispered.

     Nishinoya laughed, looking at Asahi's desperate expression. "I wasn't leaving you. Dumbass."

     "You weren't?"

     "No!"

     Asahi practically melted into Nishinoya's touch. "Oh thank god."