My depression has worsened once again, yet this time instead of being completely numb I can't stop crying.

It doesn't help that one of my friends has decided to end their life. I know it may not be my fault but I had just been there for them more maybe they would still be here.

I got up and curled into a ball in my bed.

My crying can't be too loud or else he will hear it and come.

He is a bad guy.

I will not name him because if I did everything would be worse.

I'm okay, trust me.

Not even after my best friend's death can I think of someone other than me.

How selfish.

One of my friends died and all I'm thinking about is the stupid punishment I'll get if I cry too loud.

I deserve to be treated like dirt.

If this is how I think then how good of a person can I really be?

I can hear him coming.