Chapter Seven

   I was so happy to be back home and I had one thing on my mind. Phone Jake. After getting through the front door and relocking it, I legged it upstairs to my room (dad and Tracy weren’t back). I jumped onto my bed and rang.

   ‘Tif, what do you want?’

   ‘I want to say I’m sorry about before.’

   ‘Well you’ve said it now, so...’ I guessed he was about to hang up.

   ‘No, please. It wasn’t you, it was the others.’

   ‘Who? Who are they?’ He sounded angry but what could I do to explain without giving away anything.

   ‘I can’t tell you,’ I answered. I wanted to but if I did, he would definitely think I’m making blind excuses. ‘Trust me, I want to tell you but I can’t.’

   ‘If you can’t tell me your secrets, how can I trust you?’

   ‘Jake, I’m... I...’ I couldn’t think of what to say.

   ‘It’s over.’ And he hung up.

   I sat there listening to the end tone of my mobile. I closed my eyes and dropped the thing in my hand. I took deep, slow breaths and counted to ten. One, breath; two, breath...... nine, breath; ten, breath. Tears filled my eyes but I held them back; they didn’t spill over down my skin. I looked out my window and watched the rain. Somehow, it made me want to go for a walk.

   I stood up, began to walk to my door and remembered I still had his hoody on. I quickly exchanged it for my coat and kicked it under my bed. My mobile remained abandoned on my pillow.

   As soon as I stepped outside, I raised my head and let the refreshing downpour soak my hair and splash on my face. I didn’t plan my route; my feet subconsciously led me along the now familiar streets and lanes.

   Eventually, I found myself walking towards the river. I stood on the bridge, halfway along its span and leant against the stone barrier. I looked down into the rippling water below me.

   I stood there well over an hour, trying to decide who and what I was. It wasn’t clear to me anymore. Was I Tiffany or Timandra in my own eyes? Was I human or vampire in my own eyes? Both only I could answer. Or could I be a monster no matter what combination I chose?

   Then I thought about the blood I had drunk before and how one innocent life must have been ended to gain it. I knew that it wasn’t them who should die but us (me and my kind). We were an abomination to this earth. Too long have we been in existence. Thinking that seemed to give me strength. It helped me decide who and what I was. I was who and what I wanted to be, not what I was expected to be.

   I had two options. One was for me to carry on as normal; go to school, and just face being around far too many people that I might eventually lose control of my now unleashed impulse.

  Two, I could lock myself away; therefore I won’t be forced to battle with myself. However, there was also a problem with this option. If I hid away, the need for blood will grow inside until it burst out and I would have no choice but to hunt for it.

   But then a third option opened to me; one I had already thought of. Basically, I knew where the slayers positioned themselves. They were constantly searching for us or stalking us. Even now I could guess there were a few in this very town. Thing is though, they were human so it took time to distinguish them from the rest. Time I barely had.

   ‘Tiffany,’ came a voice from my right. This one I recognised easily; I didn’t jump at hearing his voice suddenly, it was as though I had felt him stood there for the past ten minutes.

   ‘Hello, Michael,’ I simply replied. He was a childhood friend.

   ‘It’s hard, I know...’

   ‘No, you don’t,’ I softly interrupted.

   ‘Oh, I do. Believe me when I say it gets easier.’ He stood by me and for the first time I smelt the blood of a vampire. It reeked and I guessed why.

   ‘Uh, you stink,’ stepping backwards away from him.

   ‘You’ll get used to it,’ he said, sidling up to me. ‘So do you. Do you know why?’

   ‘To stop me killing you and you killing me.’

   He nodded blank faced. ‘Have you smelt human blood?’

   ‘Not since my first taste,’ I admitted.

   ‘I suppose you can guess what it will do to your mind.’ I looked sideways and saw he was to me.

   ‘Make me want to attack, it will be so sweet.’

   ‘Can I offer my help?’

   ‘How can you help me through it?’ I sighed heavily.

   ‘Gradually is the best way.’ Some seconds passed.

   ‘I can’t stay here for much longer.’ I took in a deep breath and let it out in a swirl of temporary mist.

   ‘Actually, my help will make it possible for you to remain here, but you have to be willing to not give in.’

   ‘I’ll try but it won’t be easy.’ I had already thought it through.

   ‘No, but like I said, it gets easier.’ I looked around me, then up at the sky. The dark grey clouds mimicked my mind. ‘Who’s Jake? If you don’t mind me asking.’ I kept my body calm at hearing his name. I straightened up and walked towards the woods. ‘I guess that means that I shouldn’t have mentioned him.’ I put my hands in my pockets and just walked, but not without curiosity. Michael was that type of person you could always rely on to make you feel better even if you didn’t want to feel better.

   ‘How old are you now, Mike?’

   ‘In which terms?’

   ‘What terms?’ I asked confused.

   ‘Oh, I think what you meant to ask is do we age? The answer is yes but not as quick as humans.’

   ‘Remember, I don’t really know about us, only what we are.’

   ‘We still age but we reach a certain age and then it slows rapidly. It could be ten years for you to age one year. How old do I look to you?’

   ‘Nineteen, twenty,’ I assumed. ‘How old are you really then?’

   ‘Well, I’ve only reached the age so I will look nineteen, which I am. You still have a couple years in you.’

   ‘So it’s eighteen?’ He pouted which told me it sort of depended on the person.

   We were deep in the woods now, but I could easily find my way back. A breeze lifted in the air and a delicious smell blew my way. I licked my lips temptatiously after a whiff of it.

   ‘Tif, don’t fall for it. Ignore it,’ he said but my mind was already closing.

   ‘But it smells so tempting.’ I felt the burning flame grow again.

   ‘Tif, smell this. Concentrate.’ He held out his hand up to my nose. I breathed in through my nostrils and concentrated on the stench that was his blood. It brought me back to my normal state of mind. ‘Better?’

   ‘Thanks. I didn’t think it would be so quick to control my mind.’ I was referring to my vampire side.

   ‘Yeh, I thought that. Care to test yourself now?’

   ‘Will you stop me if I lose control again?’

   ‘Of course. Follow me and try to just breathe through your mouth, it helps a bit.’

   I followed him through the trees and tried to concentrate on his blood more. The problem was that my instinct was made to focus on human blood alone; I was experiencing my first conflict with my other self.

   ‘Mike, I think it’s a bad idea.’ He stopped and slowly turned around.

   ‘Trust me, the earlier the better.’ I was starting to hate that word. ‘You’ve got me; I won’t let you kill anyone.’

   ‘How can you resist it so easily?’

   ‘I’ve had year’s worth of dealing with it; I barely notice it now. It peaks when I’m near new and unfamiliar blood but it soon passes. It’s hard for you because it’s your first time actually smelling it.’

   ‘Carry on then. I’m ready but I just need you near me. You’re right, smelling yours helps, even if not completely.’ He held out his hand, but I stepped back. He put on a confused look. ‘I don’t need you to hold my hand, just stay near me.’ His hand lowered as he smiled. Another breeze began and, again, I smelt the sweet, drawing smell from before. I kept my eyes on Michael. He watched me closely, taking in any signs I might subconsciously give. I held my breath and held my nose. With my free hand I gestured for him to come over. As soon as he was within arms’ reach, I released my nose and breathed in his beating odour.

   ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do when you’re not around,’ I stated.

   ‘You’ll manage. Come on.’ We resumed our walk to the source of my temptation. Gradually, we could hear voices of my potential victims. I felt my body shake under the pressure and control, along with Michael’s eyes still watching me. A larger gap between some trees ahead of us appeared. Mike pulled me a little to the right as we neared. We were positioned so we remained concealed from the people’s view. We listened for a minute before Michael broke the silence between us.

   ‘Recognise anyone?’ he whispered.

   ‘I think so, may be two or three.’

   ‘Who are they?’

I had only one idea in mind. ‘One of the two gangs in the town.’

   ‘You know that how?’ he asked a little suspicious. My eyes innocently looked upwards and I pressed my lips together. When I looked at him, a second later, his eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was a thin line.

   ‘I’m friends with some members of the other one,’ I admitted.

   ‘And that Jake’s one of them, is he?’

   ‘Don’t mention him,’ I said with bared teeth. ‘But yes, he is. Got a problem with that?’

   Suddenly, he looked much taken aback at my snappy question. ‘I don’t, but the others might when they find out.’

My eyes widened. ‘You’re not going to tell them?’

   ‘I have no choice...’ he began.

   ‘I should have known they’d send a friendly face for me to mistrust. They knew I’d trust your word and let you mislead me into hunting.’ My anger had begun to peak.

   ‘I assure you, I had no intentions of misleading you. I volunteered to come and find you; to help you.’

   ‘Then you don’t have to tell them anything.’ Considering that we were arguing, we had managed to keep our voices to a whisper. And I noticed I hadn’t smelt the mind-drowning smell for some time. Michael must have noticed at the same time as me, for he relaxed.

   ‘And it seems you don’t need me after all. You haven’t attacked anyone nor have I needed to restrain you.’

   ‘Can we head back then?’

   ‘Lead the way.’ I turned around and we half-stalked back the way we came. When we were a reasonable distance away we started to tread normally.

   ‘Where are you headed?’ he asked now that the tension had disintegrated.

   ‘I don’t know; home,’ I replied. It had ceased raining, though the clouds still claimed the sky above. ‘You?’

   He shrugged his shoulders. ‘I don’t know. I can’t go back straight away. Oh, and I won’t tell them about what you told me. I promise. If they find out, it won’t have come from me.’ I smiled gently at him and him to me.

   ‘Have you got somewhere to stay?’

   ‘No, why?’

   ‘Well, I’m sure my dad won’t mind you staying at mine. You’re not a stranger.’

   ‘And what would that look like?’ He raised his eyebrows and took my hand in his. Not again, I thought.

   ‘Oh, please. You’re a friend. It’s so you don’t have to go into hiding like the rest of them.’

   ‘Yeh, sure...’ he teased. I pulled my hand free from his and quickened my pace. ‘Hey, what’s up?’

   ‘You don’t want to know.’

   ‘I’m curious now. You can tell me, I’ll keep it a secret. Please?’ he jokingly begged.

I smiled and shook my head. ‘Now that’s being a little childish, isn’t it?’

   ‘Oi, I’m the youngest apart from you. And, unlike you, I have to spend almost all my time round grown-ups. I don’t get much of a chance to act my age.’

   ‘And what makes you think my life’s interesting?’

   ‘I don’t,’ he answered, and said little more.

   ‘Trust me; nothing’s happened to me that has been remotely interesting.’

   ‘Oh,’ he pretended to sound disappointed. ‘Until you moved here, hmmm?’

   ‘Alright, until I moved here. Yeh, some stuff has happened to me here.’

   ‘You know, it’s best telling someone about it. Get it off your chest.’

   ‘Yeh, I know but it’s just that it’s sort of personal.’

   ‘Oh, okay. I’ll leave it then; personal stuff should remain unsaid.’

   ‘Thanks,’ I said and then changed the subject. ‘So, back to the vampire stuff. How many people have you attacked?’

   ‘More than I wanted,’ he replied openly. ‘It’s not as if I wanted to kill them; I needed to. I tried resisting but in the end it was too much. Don’t look so horrified, it only happened that one time. After that my record’s clean.’

   That was the thing about Michael, he grew on you but for me it was more.