Chapter Four

   May be it was all a dream, I thought to myself as I opened my eyes. Just to check though, I reached across with my arm and picked up my mobile. I flipped it open, searched down my contacts list and starred at his name. Then I checked my messages and gasped at the one I finally remembered about. Looking at my clock, I jumped out of bed realising I had half an hour to get ready. However, in the middle of pulling on my jeans, I had an idea. Knowing that I was going to be late, I decided to call him to explain. On finding his number, I pressed ‘call’ and waited for him to pick up.

   ‘Hello, Tif. What’s up?’ I lost my voice on hearing his.

   ‘Hi, Jake. Erm... I had a long sleep, so I might be a bit late.’

   ‘That’s okay, I would have waited.’ He didn’t sound disappointed. As long as he knew before he thought I was going to ditch him.

   ‘The park still?’ I asked.

   ‘How about I pick you up at yours?’

   ‘Would you really walk the extra distance just because I slept in?’ I asked sarcastically.

   ‘Well, I’m on my way to the park now, so I may as well carry on to yours.’

   ‘Alright. How long will it take you?’

   ‘How long do you want me to take?’ he asked back.

   ‘Twenty minutes.’

   ‘See you then.’

   ‘Bye.’ And I hung up. I quickly finished dressing, and then moved onto make-up.

   ‘Tiffany, there’s someone here for you!’ Tracy’s voice called up the stairs.

   ‘I’ll be down in one sec,’ I called back. As I walked down the stairs, I saw Jake standing in the hallway. He smiled up and I smiled back. ‘Hey, just give me one more minute,’ I told him.

   ‘Sure.’

   I walked into the kitchen to find Tracy. As much as we liked each other, we spent as little time together as possible.

   ‘Tracy, I’m going out and don’t know when I’ll be back, so... could you tell dad who I’m with, if he gets home before me?’ I asked her.

   ‘No problem, but tell me who he is and where you’re going.’ I knew she meant it in a motherly way, so I told her.

   ‘His name’s Jake, he’s a friend from school and he’s just showing me round the town.’

   ‘Your dad was worried about you last night. Let me tell you to be careful around boys, don’t let go of your reason.’

   ‘Er... thanks, Trace. Please don’t give me the talk when he’s here though.’ She bobbed her head in understanding. I walked back into the hall.

   ‘Right, where’re we heading first?’ I asked as I shut the front door behind me.

   ‘Anywhere you like. Haven’t you had breakfast?’

   ‘Nope, didn’t have enough time.’

   ‘Aww, you shouldn’t have let me starve you. How about the river?’ He was quick on changing the subject.

   ‘Sure. It’s warmer today,’ I commented.

   ‘You don’t need your radiator then, huh.’ He pretended to be slightly upset. I giggled at his humour.

   ‘What if I said it’s chilly?’ I hinted as we stepped outside and began to walk down the street. He didn’t answer, instead he placed his arm around me, only this time he rested his hand on my waist. We both smiled.

   ‘Why did you phone me?’ he asked. He had caught me off guard, so I needed some time to respond.

   ‘Because I didn’t want you to think I had changed my mind,’ I honestly replied. ‘Why did you put an ‘x’ on the end of your text?’ I asked slowly but kindly.

   ‘Because...’ He paused. I waited patiently for him to answer, but knowing he probably wouldn’t answer, though eventually he did. ‘Shouldn’t I have put an ‘x’ on the end?’

   ‘I don’t mind, I was just curious.’

   ‘Was that your step mum?’

   ‘Yeh, that was Tracy. What did she do when she answered the door and found you there?’

   ‘The same thing all parents do when a boy comes round to see their daughter. The shocked face, then the not-bothered face.’

   ‘Oh,’ was all I could say. ‘Do you mind if I ask why you didn’t come in last night?’

   ‘No, but I thought it would have been inappropriate. Why did you ask in the first place?’

   ‘Because I had been in yours, I was returning the favour.’ He remained silent for a while and I just walked silently beside him.

   Eventually, the tarmac pavements were replaced by grass and I gradually heard the sound of water as we neared the river. Ducks bathed in the sun on the bank. Children played in the water, while the watchful parents sat on the nearby benches. There were cyclists now and again, and people walking their dogs. Beyond the opposite bank was a wood that ran parallel to the river. There was a bridge and we headed over to it. We stopped in the middle and leant against the stone barrier together. We looked over into the murky water below.

   ‘How far were you planning on walking?’ I asked him five minutes later.

   ‘I hadn’t; as far as we wanted before heading back.’

   ‘Well, come on then,’ I beckoned him as I walked backwards along the rest of the bridge’s span.

   ‘Where?’

   ‘Along the river, silly.’ I smiled innocently at him as he neared. I stopped when I reached the other side. When he had reached me, he took my hand and we continued along the path.

   It was autumn, so the path was covered in orange and brown leaves, while the trees above grew twiggier as more fell off from their branches. Now and again, the clunk or plop of a late acorn would sound as they hit the ground or water. We had been walking for about an hour since the bridge and hadn’t passed anyone for some time. A bench came into view and we sat down on it. I kept a reasonable gap between us.

   ‘Tif... you have many friends back home?’ I could tell it was a question by the tone in his voice.

   ‘No, not many,’ I answered simply. I kept my eyes on the river’s flow.

   ‘Anyone special in particular?’ he asked slower.

   ‘Nooo. Do you think I’d be here with you if I did?’ I looked at him strongly and he moved his eyes so he didn’t have to look into mine.

   ‘Sorry, I should have known better than to ask.’

   ‘It’s okay, but it’s kinda obvious.’

   ‘What is?’ He looked back at me.

   ‘That I don’t have a boyfriend.’

   ‘You don’t have a boyfriend?’ It wasn’t said in a shocked tone; more as if I should be realising something. Before I had begun to wonder what he meant, he grabbed my hand, stood up and pulled me with him. ‘Do you trust me?’ he asked seriously, while looking deep into my eyes.

   ‘I trust you.’

   ‘Come with me.’ He gently pulled me into the woods. Scenes began to play through my mind and I couldn’t remember how to get back home. When we were well inside the woods, he stopped. He took both my hands in his and placed them on his shoulders. To my dismay, my breathing had quickened and shallowed. I had no power to move my arms, or strength to push him away. However, I could feel his hands slide down my arms and continue down my sides until they were on and around my waist. He stepped closer but I retreated with my head from his advance.

   ‘Tiffany, you said you trust me,’ he reminded me.

   ‘Yeh, but now I’m not sure.’

   ‘I’m not after anything. Don’t be afraid, I’m not trying to use you. And why would I? Not if you’re my...’ He hesitated.

   ‘Not if I’m your what?’ I probed while I looked into his eyes.

   ‘My... girlfriend.’ I widened my eyes with slight disbelief. Slight because some part of me knew that he was going to say that word.

   ‘And when did I become your girlfriend?’ I asked as I slowly moved my arms around his neck. His eyes looked up as he said, ‘Probably when I kissed you last night.’ Then he looked deep into my eyes before nearing his head to mine, again. As I had done last night, I closed my eyes. For the few seconds I had left to myself, I concentrated on my breathing. It was strange to feel how close he really was, but overpowering when his lips were actually touching mine. It was the same as last night, nothing past our lips happened. However, somewhere inside me squirmed and struggled against my mind. Somehow, it felt instinctive, too instinctive. Tensing my lips, I opened my eyes and pulled away. I looked away quickly.

   ‘Tif, you okay?’ he asked as I moved my hands back onto his shoulders. All I could do was nod my head. ‘Hey.’

   ‘Huh, oh. Yeh, I’m okay.’

   ‘Are you sure? You don’t have to be okay.’ I rolled my eyes and smiled.

   ‘Yeh, no, I’m fine,’ I mumbled.

   ‘Hmm, is it okay for you to come to mine?’

   ‘You hardly need to ask. I’ve already been to yours; a second time won’t make a difference.’

   ‘Oh, won’t it?’ he teased smoothly, which made me bite my lower lip. Narrowing my eyes gently, I replaced my hands on his arms, removed his grip from around me and walked off back towards the river. ‘Where are you off to?’ he called after me. I looked over my shoulder to find he was still stood where I left him.

   ‘Back to yours, or have you changed your mind?’

   He smiled and walked up to me. ‘No, I haven’t changed my mind. I just haven’t thought about what we’re going to do.’

   ‘We have plenty of time,’ I said as we started to walk back out of the woods.

   ‘Alright then. What to talk about?’ he openly asked. I remained silent, too busy thinking about that instinct before. What did it mean? I thought to myself.