The next day, Lin took me to the Washington Heights branch of the New York Public Library and signed me up for a teen card. The librarian showed me the Young Adult section, so I spent the next 15 minutes or so browsing, picking up books I found interesting, while Lin took Sebastian to the children's section. When they came to the YA section, I had 10 books to check out. Lin bought me a little tote bag that said NYPL on the side to make it easier to carry back. He and Sebastian had checked out an armload of picture books as well.

I immediately disappeared to my room, cracking open a book. I really did love to read. Since I couldn't go skateboarding or watch TV until Monday, this was my entertainment. Before I knew it, I had gotten through an entire book and Vanessa was knocking on my door, telling me dinner was ready.

"You've been reading all day," Vanessa commented as we all sat down. "Anything good?"

I took a sip of my water and nodded. "Yeah, it was pretty juicy. I couldn't put it down."

"You might have to take another trip to the library soon if you keep reading at that pace," she commented. I just smiled and dished myself out some salad. The rest of the weekend passed uneventfully, and I was glad when Monday rolled around. I asked Lin for my skateboard first thing in the morning and he handed it over. I decided to skateboard to school, anxious to be back on it.

As I walked down the hallways, I noticed the other kids looking at me a little different. They were afraid of me. Good. Apparently, physical fights weren't all that common at Hunter. It had been the talk of the school for the past few days. The new girl was not to be messed with.

I turned in all my work to the teachers, which was odd for me. Usually, I half-assed it. At lunch, I sat alone, no one willing to come near me. I didn't really care about having yuppy friends. All the other kids were really intense about school. They all wanted straight A's or to be on the honor roll. I didn't see the need to get yourself all worked up about it. It's not like it was life or death whether you got an A or an A- on your English paper. To these kids, it was.

In the afternoon, my belly started to feel a little funny. Not like an upset stomach, but just an annoying ache. It wasn't bad enough that it was bothering me, but it was annoying. When I got home from school, I used the restroom and found that my panties had a large section that was stained blood red. I looked at it, disgusted. Is this what a period was? There was blood coming out of my body. It was revolting. I kicked off my underwear and threw them in the trash, burying them at the bottom. I snuck across the hall to my room and found a fresh pair, then stuffed them with toilet paper. No one had ever talked to me about what to do.

I went into the master bedroom and looked under the sink to see if there were any Maxi pads. I figured those were pretty easy to use. I only found tampons, which I did not want to use. I realized that I would need some help. I waited until Vanessa got home.

"Uh, Vanessa?" I asked timidly as she was going through the mail.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"I need your help with something," I admitted, which was not something that came easy.

"Sure, what is it?"

No one else was in the room besides Sebastian, but I leaned in, cupping my hand over her ear.

"I think I got my period," I whispered, then stepped back, embarrassed.

"Really?" She asked in a bit of a high-pitched voice. "Congratulations! That's great!"

"It's disgusting," I told her. "And I don't know what to do."

"Well, we'll need to get you some pads," she said. "Unless you're comfortable using tampons?"

I shook my head. "Let me text Lin to see if he can pick up some on the way home."

"No!" I practically shouted, and she put down her phone. I really didn't want Lin knowing about this.

"Okay," she said. "Well, if you can watch the boys for a few minutes, I'll run down to the drug store and get you some. How does that sound?"

"Okay," I said, nodding. Vanessa got her purse and returned about 10 minutes later with a plastic bag.

"Sebastian, can you play quietly by yourself for a few minutes?" She asked her son.

"Okay, mommy," he said from where he was playing with his trains. Vanessa told me to follow her and get a pair of panties from my room. I met her in the bathroom and she pulled out a package of pads.

"Let me give you a quick tutorial on how to use these," she said. "I got the kind with wings because I've found they stay in place a little better. You just peel off the wrapper from the bottom and stick it on your panties," she demonstrated.

"Then pull off the other two wrappers and wrap it around to the back like this," she demonstrated. "Okay?"

I nodded, thinking it was pretty straightforward. "How often do I change it?"

"Depends on how heavy your flow is," she told me. "But generally every 2-3 hours. I also got you some overnight pads," she said as she reached into the plastic bag. "These should last you a little longer."

"Thanks, Vanessa," I told her genuinely. I hadn't really spoken to her much up until now, and I felt kinda bad. She really was a nice lady.

"You're welcome," she said, placing the two packages under the bathroom sink. "Let me know if you have any questions, okay? Congratulations again." She gently placed a hand on my elbow as she smiled at me and left the room. After she left, I glanced at my elbow, as if there would be a visible mark where she'd touched me. I decided I didn't mind it.

Somehow, I felt like Lin knew I'd gotten my period. When he got home later, I avoided him completely and wouldn't look at him when he spoke to me. He already thought I was weird and this wasn't helping. Lin got a phone call and when he answered, he looked a bit concerned.

"Yes, I accept the charges," he said, glancing at me. There was a pause, then he started talking. "Laura? Hi. It's...it's Lin. Long time no see."

I stood up, knowing my mom was on the line. I hadn't spoken to her in a week. I stood by Lin, trying to overhear their conversation.

"Yes, she's staying with me and my wife. I've got her enrolled in school, and she's doing well."

My mom talked at him a little more and Lin nodded, saying yes or no occasionally. Finally, he handed me the phone.

"Mom!" I said excitedly, taking the phone to my room so I could have some privacy.

"Hi, baby girl!" She sounded tired. She was probably detoxing, which I heard was the worst. I could picture her on the other end, raking her hair through her brown hair, hunched over. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this. They gave me a public defender, so I'm probably going to get convicted. Those guys get 100 cases at a time."

My heart dropped. She thought she was going to get convicted? When would she be home?

"Mom, when are we gonna go home?" I asked her.

She breathed out, exhausted. "I don't know, baby girl. If I'm convicted, I'm looking at years in jail. How are you liking your dad's house?"

"It's fine," I said, biting at my nails. "How come you never told me about him?"

"I didn't need a man to take care of me," she said.

"But maybe I needed a father in my life," I couldn't help but point out.

"We did fine on our own," she said, not getting it. "Where are you going to school?"

"Hunter College High School," I said. "It's a middle school and a high school. It's for gifted and talented kids."

"Gifted and talented?" She said, confused. "How'd you get in? Your grades are crap."

I didn't know she was even aware of my grades. "They let me in because of my test scores and because Lin and Vanessa both went there."

"Vanessa?"

"His wife," I explained. "They've got two little kids as well."

"Sounds like you've got a happy home," she said. "You don't need me at all."

"Mom," I said, annoyed. "Of course I need you."

There was an automated voice that came on the line, telling us we had a minute left, so we wrapped up the conversation.

"You can come visit me, you know," she told me. I hadn't thought about that. I wasn't sure I wanted to see her dressed in her prison gear, behind plexiglass, but I told her I'd think about it. We hung up, and all of a sudden the silence in my room was defeaning. I opened the door and took Lin's phone back to him. He watched me carefully.

"Everything okay?" He asked me stupidly.

"No, everything's not okay," I spat back. "My mother's in prison."

"I meant...are you okay?" He corrected himself.

I shrugged. "I guess."

"If you want to talk, let me know," he offered. This family loved talking. Jeez, couldn't I just wallow in my own sorrow for a while? Couldn't I just vibe to some rap music? I pulled my hoodie over my head and walked back to the room, where I did just that.