I'd been gone for half an hour when my cell phone rang.  It was my dad, but I ignored it.  I know they were trying to help me, but I had to get out of there.  They don't know me.  They think they'll just be able to stick me in some preppy school and I'll be fine.  They think I'll turn my life around now that they think they've cracked me.  Just challenge her, and her life will fall into place.  Voila.

I hopped on the subway and headed to Queens.  I still had my house key, so I discreetly slipped in through the back door.  The electricity must have been shut off because it was pitch black, besides the street lights.  The house was a mess, as usual.  Dirty dishes in the sink, trash sitting waiting to be taken out.  It was oddly comforting, coming back.  This is what I knew.  At the Mirandas' house, I didn't fit in.  I wasn't used to nice furniture and a nice bed and a refrigerator full of food.

I opened the fridge and found just a few items in there, mostly condiments.  Everything was rotten by this point.  Sighing, I went to my room and opened the window to let in some air.  I heard the comforting sounds of my neighborhood – dogs barking, kids yelling, traffic passing.  My bed creaked as I settled in.  It was probably older than me.

Text messages from Lin and Vanessa kept pouring in, asking me to tell them where I was.  Fat chance.  I wasn't going to fit into their cookie cutter life.  I wasn't perfect and I wasn't smart, and I never would be.  I must have drifted off to sleep because the next thing I knew there was a loud knock at the door.

"Nora?!" A voice called.  It was Lin.  How had he found me?

"Nora, open up!  I know you're in there," he told me.  Somehow, I knew he wasn't just going to go away, so I reluctantly got up and walked to the door.  I unlocked the door, but left the chain attached.

"What?" I asked him, seeing his concerned eyes through the small opening.

"Open the door, Nora," he asked me, his voice calm.

"Why should I?  I don't want to go back with you."

"Nora..." he began again.  "I know this is hard, but this is no place for you right now.  You can't just stay here by yourself."

"Yes I can," I countered.  "This is my house."

"Kids aren't allowed to live by themselves," he pointed out.  "It's time to go home."

"I am home," I told him and slammed the door.  I turned around and rested my back against the door, letting myself sink to the floor.  I saw a cockroach scurry across the room.  It was silent for several minutes.  I chanced a peek out the window and saw Lin in the front yard on his cell phone.  When he walked back, I quickly ducked away, out of view as he knocked again.

"Nora, you need to open up," he told me.  "Or I'm gonna have to call the police."

"And what?  Take me back to juvie?"

"No," he said, his voice still calm.  "I'll have to get them to break the lock."

"Why don't you just leave me alone?!" I told him, getting annoyed.  I was used to adults just giving me my space, not wanting to bother with me.

"I can't," he told me.

"Yes you can," I countered.  "Just go home.  Be with your perfect wife and your perfect sons."

"Nora," he said, his voice sounding repentant.  He should have known I wouldn't be this easy.  "You're my daughter, and I'd like you to come home with me.  I know it's weird right now, but you've gotta give it a chance."

"I don't want to," I told him.  "I just want to stay here."

Lin gave up for the time being, until I became aware of blue and red lights in the driveway.  He'd called the damn police.  I heard voices outside the door as Lin talked to the police officer.  A louder knock came.

"Nora?  This is the police.  Open up," the voice ordered, not kindly.

"No!" I shouted.

"I'm going to ask you one more time, then I'll have to break down the door."

"Go to hell!" I told him.

There was a pause for a few moments, then I started to hear pounding on the door.  I scooted backwards, away from the door, anticipating it coming down.  It didn't take much for the old, rotten wood gave way and the door swung open.  The police officer put down his ram.  I calmly walked back to my room and shut the door.  They followed.

"Do you want me to cuff her?" I heard the officer asked Lin.  He said no.  They easily got my bedroom door open.  Lin gestured with his hand for me to get up, but I didn't.  Realizing I wasn't going to do this the easy way, the police officer managed to grab an arm and a leg and drag me to the edge of the bed.  The police officer pulled me up to standing and gripped my upper arm hard.

"Ow!!  You're hurting me!" I told him as I struggled against him.

"If I let you go, are you going to walk with us?" He asked me.

"Yes!" I said, willing to say anything to get out of his death grip.  He walked me to the porch and finally let me go.  I rubbed at my arm, frowning.

"Are you going to go willingly with your father, or are we going to do this the hard way?" The officer asked me.  I wasn't sure what the hard way was, but I was afraid it might involve juvie.  I wasn't going back to juvie, that was for sure.

"I'll go," I spat, staring at the ground.

"Good," he said, turning to Lin.  "Do you need anything else, sir?"

"No.  Thank you, officer," Lin told him.  The officer nodded and went to his police vehicle.  Lin and I just stood there, not talking for a few long moments.

"C'mon," he said.  "Let's go home."

He started walking, and I reluctantly followed him, trailing a few steps behind.  He unlocked the door and I climbed into the passenger seat.  As we pulled away from my Queens neighborhood, the car was silent.  He was taking me back to Washington Heights.

After a few minutes, he cleared his throat.  "Nora, what are you most upset about?" He asked me gently.

I was confused as to why he was so calm.  Usually when I pulled shit, my mom was screaming at me.

"I just don't belong in your life," I told him simply.  "I don't like how you're trying to make me part of your perfect family."

"I'm sorry if I've made you feel that way," he told me.  I'd never had an adult apologize to me before and it threw me off.  "I just want to give you the best life possible.  I know your mom wasn't very well off, so I'm trying to give you some opportunities you haven't had."

I didn't answer, just stared out the window.

"Did you and your mom talk much?" He asked me.

"Usually she was yelling at me," I admitted.

"Well, I think you'll find Vanessa and I are pretty calm," he said.  "If you do something wrong, we're going to talk about it civilly.  I don't like to yell."

Once he got to know me better, he probably would.  Adults hated me for a reason.

"Now, if you really feel uncomfortable with Hunter, you don't have to go there," he told me.  "You could try another school we visited or you can stay at Altman if you really want."

I had been wanting to just go back to Altman.  It was a crap hole, but it was what I was used to.  Now that my dad was telling me I could go, I suddenly didn't want to go back that much.

"What do you want?" He asked me.  What was with him asking what I wanted?  Why did he care?

"I just want to disappear," I said honestly.  I don't want these troubles and I don't want these people worrying about me and trying to fix me.  It was exhausting.

"Well, I'm afraid that's not going to happen," he said as we turned onto our street.  "You're going to need to make a decision about school within the next couple days."

I sighed as we pulled into the garage and Dad parked the car.  He walked behind me, as if he was expecting me to run.  When we reached the apartment door, he unlocked it and we walked in to find Vanessa on the couch, watching the evening news.

"Thank goodness," she commented, standing up.  "Nora, I'm so glad you're okay.  Are you feeling alright?"

I shrugged, again not used to adults showing so much concern about me.  "I know this is hard," she said.  "You've got to let us help you.  You don't need to run away from us."

I nodded wordlessly.  "Can I go to bed?" I asked.

My dad nodded and I disappeared to my bedroom.  I noticed there was now a device on my window, I was guessing which alerted them when it was opened.  Just to mess with them, I pushed my window all the way open and they came running.

When they saw I was still standing there, they looked relieved.  "I see you don't trust me," I commented.

My dad put his hands in his jean pockets.  "Your safety is the most important thing," he explained.  "We cannot have you sneaking out the window.  Once you prove you can be trusted again, it can come off.  Good night."

I closed the door and threw myself down on the bed.  I didn't bother to change into my pajamas and brush my teeth.  I just drifted off to sleep.