Malia

"Hey I'm just gonna drop you real quick okay? I've got a date to go on." Jasper glances over at me, wiggling his eyebrows and I feel my stomach clench in agony.

Why couldn't that girl be me?

"You don't mind me dropping you at the end of the driveway do you? I'm already late."

I shake my head, unable to find words.

"Jeez Malia, can you not speak today?" Jasper says, taking his eyes off the road to look at me again.

I falter under his stare. I'm a freaking mess today.

"I'm sorry. I'm just having a bad day. You can drop me at the end of the driveway. I think I can manage to make it to the house." I can hear the anger in my words, and I know it confuses him.

I'm not so much angry at him as I am that he's going on a date. It isn't his fault though, it's not like I've ever told him how I feel.

Not that it would matter anyways.

"Do you wanna talk about it? Hold on let me call and cancel my date and we can grab some food and talk." Jasper reaches for his phone.

As much as I want that, I can't be the reason he cancels. It wouldn't be fair to whoever she is. Jasper will never be mine. I need to come to terms with that.

"No. I don't want to talk about it. Just have fun on your date okay? Don't worry about me."

Jasper doesn't seem convinced. As he pulls up to a red-light, he glances over at me. I force myself to look back at him and smile. Just like he did for the first time two months ago, he reaches over and pats my knee. It lasts only for a second, but it's a second of my inner cheerleader waving her pom poms high in the air.

Jasper puts his hand back on the steering wheel and lurches forward as the light turns green.

"You know you can always talk to me right? I mean I know I'm just B's dumb brother, but you're like a sister to me too. I do care."

There it was again. Those dreaded words. The words no girl ever wants to hear out of her crushes mouth.

A sister. Fuck. I don't want to be a sister. I want to be so much more.

"I know Jas. I just... I'd rather forget and enjoy myself this weekend. Besides, it's your birthday weekend. Don't bog yourself down with my problems. You're gonna be seventeen, savor it. I wish I had savored it more. I'm rapidly approaching eighteen and have nothing to show for it ya know? Blair is constantly reminding me I need to make epic choices and live life to the fullest. Yet here I am with no stories to tell." I roll my eyes, looking out the passenger window and hoping he'll leave it alone.

"It's not just my birthday weekend Malia. It's hers too. And you're important to her. So I can't have you going over there all moody. Talk to me, please?" Jasper parks the car down a side road, turning to face me with his intense blue eyes.

Shit. Why does he have to be so damn beautiful?

"Tell me again how the two of you managed to share a birthday? It's strange considering you aren't technically related." I veer off the subject, hoping he will forget.

"Malia, she's my family. You might not see it that way, but I do. It doesn't matter we have different moms, she'll always be my sister. I love sharing a birthday with her. She definitely pushes the moms for big celebrations. Who the hell would complain about that?" Jasper smiles, his eyes lost in a sea of memories.

"I'm not saying she isn't. It's just weird okay?" I look down, swallowing and forcing myself to calm down before I look back up at him.

"When mom first found her, we didn't know about her birthday. She took B in because she had no where else to go. Hell I don't even think mom and Janet were even fostering at that time. It was just a spur of the moment decision. I think B is the reason our family is so big ya know?" Jasper smiles again and the sight of it makes me weak. If I was standing I would probably fall right about now.

"It sounds amazing. I'm really glad your moms found her." I look out the window again, unable to meet his eyes.

I want to cry, but I force myself to swallow back the tears.

"Talk to me Malia. I'm here okay? I'm your friend just as much as B is." Jasper reaches over again, this time instead of patting my knee he squeezes it.

I turn back towards him, swallowing hard and then glancing down to his hand that's still lingering on my bare skin. It's like fire, prickling through every nerve ending in my leg.

Jasper notices me looking at it and quickly removes his hand.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. You just really look down today. Hold on, let me text her real quick and tell her I'll be late."

Jasper reaches in his pocket for his phone. I watch as his fingers fly across the keys. I know there's no point arguing, he won't listen anyways. When he finishes the text, he drops the phone on the dash and turns back to me.

"I've got an extra thirty minutes, let's go grab some fries yeah?" He smiles, and for the first time it doesn't reach his eyes.

I wonder exactly what he's hiding beneath all of that tough exterior. Could it be that Jasper with the perfect life is unhappy too?

"Sure." I mumble, looking back out the window.

Jasper pulls back into traffic, heading for the local burger joint. It's quiet between us until we reach the parking lot.

"So... I'm kind of going to dinner with her, but we can share a basket." He says guiltily.

"Sure." I say again.

Red hot jealousy swims through my veins as I think about him sitting across from another girl eating dinner and having fun. I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. It bothers me a lot.

I take a seat at a table as Jasper orders fries. I take this opportunity to watch him and study everything about him.

His hands are in his pockets, his arms flexed enough that the veins pops out. His dark washed jeans are moulded to his legs and butt, the perfect fit, as if they were made just for him. His moppy brown hair is disheveled, as if he has ran his fingers through it repeatedly. Even his back looks amazing in the fitted blue button up.

So damn gorgeous. So not mine.

Jasper walks over to the table, sliding in across from me. He pops a fry into his mouth and looks up at me quizzically.

"Talk." He orders.

"I told you Jas, my home life isn't great. It's just getting to me, that's all." I really don't want to get into this with him. Hell, with anyone. It's nobody's business.

"Tell me how it's not great. Come on Malia, your secret is safe with me. Scouts honor." He salutes me and I can't help but laugh. I bet he made a great Boy Scout.

"It's fine Jas. I promise." I lie. Nothing is fine. Nothing will ever be fine about my home life.

Jasper sighs, reaching across the table and laying a hand across my heart. I quickly back up, pulling away.

"Liar." Jasper says. "Your heart is racing. You're lying."

I roll my eyes, and pick at my fingernails. I can't even meet his eyes with my next words.

"How do you know it isn't racing because I'm nervous about being here with you, alone like this?"

Jasper tilts my face up to look at him and frowns.

Shit. Even that is sexy. Why cruel world? Why?

"Why would you be nervous about that Malia?"

I force myself to laugh, knowing he will take it as a joke and move on.

"Good one." He finally says after studying me for several moments.

"I try."

I pop a fry into my mouth, then another to keep from having to talk again. I'm really not hungry, my stomach is in knots.

"You aren't gonna tell me anything are you?" He asks. "So basically I blew my date off for nothing. Thanks Malia."

I glare at him.

"I told you to just drop me off." I argue.

Jasper takes another fry and wags it at me.

"You need to vent. I know you do. I've known you for seven years Malia. Do you not trust me?" He looks almost hurt and that look alone makes me want to spill everything. I don't.

"You don't really know me at all." I murmur quietly. "No one does."

He doesn't seem to hear me, as he is still just staring at me waiting for an answer.

"Jas, I trust you, okay? I just really don't want to talk about it." I don't know how many more ways I can say it. Jasper is determined to break me down.

I force myself to eat another fry and stare at the table so he can't see that I'm lying. He is too intuitive for his own damn good.

"Okay Malia. Fine. I'm here if you need me okay? Anytime." Jasper reaches across the table again, taking my hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze before letting go and leaning back on the seat.

We finish the basket of fries in silence. It's comfortable and peaceful.

As we walk back out to the car, Jasper pulls me into a side hug and I secretly inhale his scent. He smells like citrus and oak. It's so damn intoxicating I almost close my eyes.

"Did you just smell me?" He laughs.

"What?" I feign innocence. "Why would I do that?"

A smirk slowly slides across his face as he turns to face me.

"Because I'm fucking amazing."

I push him, and reach for the door handle. Rolling my eyes, I hop in.

Jasper walks around the car, laughing loudly to himself and gets into the drivers seat.

The rest of the ride is silent. I watch the scenery pass, stuck in my mind and replaying the story of how B came to live with the Jacobs family. I can't believe she will be seventeen in two short days.

Jasper drops me off at the top of the driveway instead of at the end. I get out without a word. As I walk back towards the house, he leans out the window and calls to me.

I turn, raising my eyebrows.

"Take it easy on her okay? She's had a rough week."

I nod and watch as he pulls out and disappears down the road.