A veryy long chapter ahead, kindly find something (or someone) to hug. 

[Not Edited]

Kim SeokJin

I stared at her retreating back with a huge weight settled in my heart.

What just happened?

I knew the group behind me had just witnessed everything and were similarly shocked into silence. None of the ten people spoke a word as I continued to stare at the hallway that no longer had her.

Joy, Yeri and Wendy ran behind their leader while Seulgi stopped in front of me enough to slip a note in my hand and give me a look that clearly told to open the note in private.

My members take hold of my shoulders and slowly pull me towards the stage. Namjoon puts a hand around my back and quietly asks me, "Are you okay, Hyung?" I look at the crumpled note in my hand and nod.

No. I am not okay.

He sighs before taking hold of my shoulders and turns me to face him. "Hyung, I don't know what you must be going through right now but I want to ask you to keep it together till the performance is over. We will solve whatever problem it is after the performance. Can you do this for us, Hyung? Can you keep it together for ARMY?"

Anything. I can do anything for BTS and ARMY.

His words are like a soothing balm on my intangible injuries. I look into his passion filled eyes and see the young boy befit to be the leader of BTS. I nod my head once and give him a silent promise to do my best as I stuff the note deep in my pockets.

He smiles before taking his mic set and passing one to me as we get ready for our performance.

I will come for you, JooHyun-ah.  I will find what you are hiding even if it is the last thing I will do but for now, my members and fans are waiting for me.

__

We came back from the stage in high spirits. The performance was beyond perfect and seeing the pride on Hobi's face after a mistake-free stage was a literal mood-lifter. We quickly wiped off the sweat and reapplied a little make-up before leaving to join the idols waiting for the last 3 daesangs to be awarded.

We made our way to the table and sat down, finally letting the exhaustion take over as all of us slouched in our seats breathless.  I put my hand in my pockets to remove the tissue paper that stylist noona usually stuffs in and my hands come in contact with a piece of paper. Suddenly, I remember what it was and thank heavens that I did not pull it out right away.

The fans were always very perceptive and all-knowing. If I removed Seulgi's note from my pocket and read it now, fans will see the whole situation and create wild ideas about it.

I push it back deep into my pockets and remove the tissue and start wiping my face. The award show resumes after a short break and now only the last three awards are left. I space out looking at the small flower arrangement on my table as various thoughts run in my mind.

I am so confused.

Did something happen when I was not in Korea? Did she finally realize that she doesn't really like me and wants to keep distance? 

No, I can't let that happen. 

She means more to me than anyone ever did in my life. This one month without her was hard enough for me. I don't think I can live my entire life without her. My members, my music and my fans will help me survive but I need her in my life to live.

I am sure that whatever it is that has happened can be solved. Namjoon always says that there is no problem in the world that cannot be solved, we just have to find the correct solution. I am sure we can find that solution too.

It was nearly midnight by the time we got to our dorm. The drowsy members slowly got out of the car and walked towards the elevator while I got down and helped a passed out Jimin onto manager hyungs back. The boy like always had exhausted himself out and the moment he sat in the car, he fell asleep.

Manager Hyung and Jimin were the last to leave towards the dorm but I stayed back. I sat back inside the car and pulled the note out of my pocket. It was terribly crumpled but the ink on it was not disturbed.

The note had an address on it and a scribble which said 'Today, Midnight'

Before my mind could process the note, my body was already moving. I quickly got into the car seat and thanked heavens when I realized that the keys were there, set up the navigation and quickly drove out of the parking.

The thought that manager hyung will not be happy with me popped up but I pushed it to the back of my mind. I can deal with that later.

As I drove closer to the address, I recognized the area leading to their dorms and was surprised when I stopped right in front of it. She called me to her dorms?

Slightly confused and debating whether I should really be going inside, I got out of the car and stepped up towards the elevator. I knew their dorm number but I never entered inside. Each group had their own dorm rules and I respected that, the reason why we both had stayed away from each others dorms.

I came to a stop in front of their dorm door and wondered that if Seulgi had given me their address, it must have been that everyone was okay with me being here. Trying not to over-think I lifted my hand and pressed the bell.

For a while no one answered but I patiently waited. Then slowly the door cracked open and Seulgi's head popped out. Her doubtful face morphed into relief when she saw me. She swiftly came out of the door and pressed her hand on her heart when her heels made a sound. I watched all of this in confusion as the girl in front of me continued acting like she was filming a scene from Mission Impossible.

Had the situation been any different, I would have been very amused. Her antics are so similar to my maknaes.

After she had successfully accomplished whatever she was doing, she stood up straight in front of me and gave me a wide smile. Hesitantly, I smiled and bowed to her in greeting but she waved her hand in front of me telling me to keep quite.

Startled, I watched once again as she peeked into her dorm and after some confirmation, pushing the door closed but not completely.

"Right. So JooHyun Unnie does not know that you are here so please don't scare her if you want to keep your ears safe. If she asks how you are here, tell her I love her." She said in a rushed whisper before stopping to take a breath. "I am doing this because I feel you both need to talk, sunbaenim. She needs to talk. Please let her speak everything before you decide anything. My Unnie is not bad sunbaenim, just very scared. Please promise me you will listen to her and will try to understand her?"

My mouth kept opening and closing and I could not form any words. But my delay in an answer made the girl in front of me even more passionate to take a promise out of me. She joined her hands in front and fully unleashed that one weapon that god unfairly gifted all woman, a gift that robs a man of all his choices.

Aegyo.

She stared at me with such intense wide eyes that I would have missed the small flash of fear and desperation. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I then looked at her and nodded. "I promise."

Her face lit up and clapped her hands once before opening the door and beckoning me towards it, "Then go ahead, Sunbaenim. I'll leave you two alone."

I smiled at her,amused and ruffle her hair as I pass her. She is everything I would like to have in a sister. "Thank you Seulgi."

She just nods at me, smiling widely and closes the door behind me.

Bae JooHyun

I stare at the window and the scenery behind it. There were times when this scenery was enough to get me out of a low day. But now it did not have any effect on me. Almost like it is insignificant.

I let out a deep sigh and rub my face with my hands, tired. The award show had just ended but none of my exhaustion stemmed from that event. It was my troubling heart. It was my chaos-filled mind.

I was sitting slouched in front of the window. One of my favorite spot in the entire dorm but now that was being taken away too. Just how many things do I have to give up on?

We had received a notice last week that we will be moving dorms to a place that was closer to the agency and also a lot more spacious, promising me a room to myself. But I was not  happy. I had too many memories with this dorm with my girls and simply just leaving all this behind and moving to a new place was a little difficult to me.

The rest of the girls had already managed to completely move all their stuff to the new dorm but I kept on delaying it till the time manager oppa had me literally come here today to get all the essentials to the new dorm.

Seulgi had accompanied me here stating that she had left something back. However, I had not seen her fetch anything from her room but instead help me with getting whatever I had left here in boxes. 

I get up from my seat on the floor with a heavy heart and move towards the boxes to check if I had not forgotten when I heard footsteps behind me. Not minding to turn, I instead bent forward and opened the lid of the boxes. It must be Seulgi.

"Let me guess, you ordered chicken again right?" I said, a little amused, "You just ate your dinner. How can you be so hungry?"

My question was met with silence as my voice echoed around the house. The echo was like a pinch to my heart but I ignored it. The footsteps had stopped and now everything was truly quite in the house except from the voices made by me. Frowning I was about to turn when I heard it.

"Well, I am always hungry"

oh.

OH.

*******

cLifFhANgErrrrrr!

I was kind-of really hesitant to upload this part early because it forms a base as to how the story goes ahead from here but since I have already written the draft of the next 2 chapters (Quarantine really gave me a lot of free time) I thought it should be fine. 

(Although I still have my doubts) 

Also, 9 chapters to go!

My friend (and reader *kiss*) asked me if I will end this book on a happy note or a bad note and while I have already planned out what I want to do, I asked her to guess. And then I thought I should ask you guys too! So...

Happy ending?

Sad/bad ending?

bittersweet ending?

Be healthy and safe everyone! Hwaiting!

See you in the next update