Jin

I clutch the steering wheel tightly and look to my right. JooHyun is huddled in her seat, hugging my huge sweater to cover her curled up body, as she drowsily scrolled through her phone.

Somehow I had managed to make both our managers take one car while I drive us both in another. The thought that I might be gone for a few days again and we won't be able to see each other is enough to put me in a bad mood. 

These past days were some kind of a reality check for me. Three days of no contact made me think of how it might be after these four months are over. Will there be no contact between us at all? Will we have to act like strangers with each other? Because that will be impossible for me. I won't be able to do it. 

Even the thought that there might be no 'us' in the future spreads an uneasiness in my chest. It's like that ache you cant reach to sooth. I steal a glance of her again and experience a warmth spread inside my heart.

That's right. This is the feeling that I want to experience daily. Maybe even forever.

I know of my feelings for her. I know I like her more than anything and want to spend more time with her to get to know her. To know what she likes, what she dislikes, to form a domestic routine with her. Sometimes it feels like I am reading too much in my feelings and she might not be feeling the same for me.

I know she likes me but is it even close to how much I do? 

The industry we work in is not exactly accepting towards idols dating. The fact that we already a declared couple is just a twist of fate that brought us together. Both the groups had suffered a loss due to this 'scandal'. 

None might say it to our face but we know that behind our back people make assumptions or comments of how I staged it all up so that I can be associated with a artist of the TOP 3 and gain instant coverage. Following which came the rumor that BTS are being close to other groups so that we can gain from their fame. It is like we can't even express gratitude and admiration towards a sunbae without people categorizing us as 'suck-ups'.

On the other hand, her group being a rookie took the most fall of the 'scandal'. People tagged Irene as someone who is not sincere and hardworking and that once debuted she no longer has any passion for it, which is the reason why she has enough time for dating. 

Scandals like these make or break a groups career and very thankfully it did not affect our careers more than we anticipated. But it is anticipated that we will 'break-up' soon. As if it is most natural ending to a relationship.

Most of the idols in the industry are youngsters who grow up into young adults. It is impossible for them to them to never even once develop feelings for someone. But the stigma surrounding us stops us to even consider having any thoughts like that. If a idol even dares to give it a try, he or she will either find themselves at a point where they either have to choose their career and fans or their loved ones.

And to be honest I don't want to find myself ever in such a position.

I will not be able to make a decision at all.

"You are awfully quite today." She says softly, suppressing her yawn. I flash a smile to her.

"Nah. Just thinking." I said.

"About what?", She asks, straightening slightly in her seat.

"About...about us." I say, hesitating to go further. She nods her head, encouraging me to continue.

"I will be gone today night again. If there is a busy schedule I won't be able to even contact you. If we are back to Korea soon, I won't be able to meet you because of the comeback. I- I am going to terribly miss you." I confess.

The inside of the car goes silent while the words I said are being processed by us. Her head is bowed as she fidgets with her scarf absentmindedly.

"I am going to miss you too." She says after a while. "Our comeback season will finish in a week but we still have a lot of variety shows to shoot. Life will become busy again."

I don't say anything as I stare at the road. That's right. Our life will get busy now.

"But don't try to miss me too much, yeah?" She says, her tone brightening. "I am just a phone call away. No matter how late it is, don't hesitate to call me okay? Because I am going to do the same." She smiles as she pokes my side and holds my hand that idly sits on my thigh.

I let out a laugh and nod. If she is the reason for my lack of sleep, I don't really mind.

After nearly half an hour of idle talk and lame dad-jokes, we finally reach her dorms. I enter the parking lot the complex so as to avoid being recognized by fans waiting near their dorms. The managers car is already parked so we park our car near them and get out.

Both the managers are standing in front of the car immersed in a intense conversation. They look angry as we both get out of the car, making us slightly flinch and step backward. 

"The ride was supposed to take only an hour during this night traffic!" My manager yells, "Why the hell did it take you two hours to reach? and why don't you ever pick up your phone Seokjin-ah!"

JooHyun looks at me confused while I try to hide my face. Okay so I might have taken the longest route to reach here. I just couldn't help it! 

"The navigation was having problems, hyung." I started confidently but faltered as the expression on his face darkened.

"Don't bullshit me! You know the route by heart." He fumes, "How can you be so careless Seokjin-ah? Do you want to miss your flight?"

I look down guiltily, trying not to look at him. "I am sorry, Hyung"

He stomps his feet in frustration. "I will deal with you later. Let's hurry now. We can still reach on time." He says as he rushes to the car and gets in.

Not wanting to waste any more time, I quickly turn around and pull JooHyun in my arms, hugging her tightly. She looses her balance slightly but manages to hug me back before I move away and kiss her cheek which instantly turns red.

 "Be safe okay? And no going near any men! You don't want to see my possessive side, believe me. Bye!"

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Have a safe and nice day everyone!!