Jin

We sat in the car having no clue what to do. One thing was clear, we both did not want to go back. Who knows how long it might take for us to meet again. 

JooHyun's phone beeped and her face brightened. She jumped in her seat happily and turned towards me. "My manager gave me a go! I am officially free for tonight!" 

I let out a breathe I was holding in, relieved. I honestly had no plans on what to do now but the thought of sending her back to her dorms is upsetting. I mean, it barely felt like I spent time with her today. Time flies so fast. 

"So now where do you want to go?" I ask her, resting my one hand on the steering wheel and the other behind her seat. I pulled the car in reverse gear and made out of the parking space we had occupied.

"Um...we can go to Han river? It's been a while since I've been there, you know?" She says, her voice nostalgic. I smiled at her and changed the course of the car. Han river it is.

 I could understand where she comes from. Han river is like a paradise for all idol trainees. Before debut we spent almost till midnight in the practice room before we were allowed to leave. Just thinking back of the days where we used to drag our tired body towards the Han river and enjoy some peace while eating convenience food and ramen, makes goosebumps erupt on my arms. Those were the days.

I looked at Irene next to see a similar smile to what I suspect I must be wearing. Her face was practically glowing in the dim lighting in the car. She had closed the window shut but had removed her scarf and her collar-bone and jawline was highlighted with the street lights from outside. 

Almost involuntarily, without hesitation, my hand reached out  and laced my fingers with hers. I focused my eyes on the road, feeling her hand laying limp in mine for a minute before she tightened her hold. I could not keep the smile off my face as I continued driving.

We reached the river in less than fifteen minutes and JooHyun gave out a small squeal and ran out of the car. Thankfully the place was not crowded as usual. Han River usually attracts a lot of tourists and locals alike during this time because of the fireworks. But I guess the fireworks is already over because there were really less people.

I spot her standing against the railing, looking down at the water rustling. I remember something and I walk to the back door of the car and look for the bag of supplies manager hyung keeps for us whenever we come out. I find it and stuff some in my coat pockets.

I make my way to her leisurely, enjoying the late night cool breeze. It somehow calms my being. I walk up to her, seeing her try to lean forward to see the fishes in the river excitedly. The wind is making her hair fly about and one hand comes up again and again to tuck it back  in her beanie. I stand next to her and tuck my hands in my pockets, my back resting on the railings as I look at her.

She is too absorbed in herself to notice me and somehow that makes my jealous. I don't know when this started but the moment she showed interest in anything except me, I want it back on me. Yes, I am needy like that. And that is exactly what I do.

I grab hold of her arms and pull her close to me. She stumbled a bit but steadied herself and looked up at me with curiosity glistening in her eyes. 

"What are you doing?" She asks me. She gave up on controlling her hair and let them fly freely. I take her band around her wrist and pull her close to tie them up. If she let the breeze play with her hair, she will catch a cold.

I reach inside my pockets and bring out a mask and put it on for her before doing the same to me.

"There might be much people here but people will still recognize us." I say softly. 

Her eyes look lost for a second before she focuses on me. Her eyes avoid looking into mine and I could imagine a blush rising on her face looking at her ears redden. She looks behind her in search for something and looks back at me. 

"Should we go and sit there for sometime?" She asks. 

I nod and we both sit on the grass, onlooking the river. It feels so peaceful here that I am tempted to do what I usually do when I come here with my members.

I steal a glance at her next to me and I am startled at how close we are sitting. Not that I mind. In fact, I love it.

Her strawberry shampoo scent swirls in the air and assaults my nose and very discreetly, in order to not get caught as a pervert, I lean down to smell her hair and give out a satisfied sigh.

She looks up at me and startled, I pretend to search for the source of that sigh, missing the small smile of realisation creep up her face.

She shakes her head and leans back with her palms planted behind her and legs outstretched, looking at the stars above.

I act impulsively yet again and in a quick moment I lie down while resting my head on her legs. I could feel the muscles tighten in her legs and her body frozen as I clearly surprised her.

"I- um..Jin?" She asks stuttering, trying to come up with a sentence.

I close my eyes and cross my hands on my stomach. "Shh...just let me. Just for a while."

Her posture doesn't change for a while but eventually she possibly accepted my request and let me be. Her hand cautiously rose up to my head and but then it went away and after a while it came back up. Just skimming my hair without actually touching it.

I usually don't allow anyone to mess up my hair. It's one thing I hate that the maknaes enjoy to do. But I wanted to know how it would feel when someone touched my hair, someone who wasn't my hairstylist but someone I was so close to falling for.

I grabbed hold of her hand that produced the most adorable squeak and firmly placed it on my hand. I folded my hands again and waited for her and wasn't disappointed when her slowly started stroking my head and a smile rose to my face, unknown to her.

We sat there like that for a while, without talking. The street peddlers, children playing around and their parents trying to get them in the car, couples quite whispers and hungry college kids eating food filled up the place with voices that we did not want to disturb it.

As artists, we are always surrounded by sounds of the music and equipment. In the recording studio, at music shows and even in practice rooms, we are accustomed to listen to what was played on a system. But sitting here listening to natural sounds around us is like a refreshing music to our ears.

Maybe this is why Namjoon loves the nature. His best songs were always written after a good long walk and now I understood why he did it. Maybe I should go with him next time.

Tiredness and sleep wasn't coming to me but I don't want to open my eyes. I could feel her thinking about something very deeply. Her mask was askew and her eyebrows were pulled together in a frown. Her hand continuing to stroke my head.

It must have been twenty minutes since we assumed that position and I was mentally preparing myself to get up when her voice stopped me.

"Jin-ah..." I heard her softly whisper, "Exactly what are you doing to me?"

It is at that time I realize that she thinks I fell asleep. I should probably tell her that I am awake but something keeps me quite.

"Why do you always come up to occupy my mind when I should be thinking of something else? Why do I always worry if you are well in the morning? Why do I feel lonely every time we disconnect our call or you drop me home? Why do I love that a man younger than me doesn't follow customs and calls me by my name?

We were never supposed to be here, Jin-ah. Idols like us shouldn't be here doing this. Had I not been careless with my health that one day, we wouldn't have been here. We cannot be here. But, why do I feel that if I was given a chance I would go back to it and not change a thing? Why am feeling so attached to you when I know that we have to come to an end very soon? I- I don't know what is happening to me.

I don't know why I want to just forget about the contract and recklessly be with you. It's all just a deal, Jin-ah. Still, why do you affect me like this? What scares me the most is how I will continue knowing that we will have to avoid each other every time we see each other, no calls, no visits...nothing..."

She trails off after that and I realize the truth of our situation.

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Well...
Happy reading!

P.S I have written a post regarding the schedule on my profile. please check that out! thank you!