I refused to see Leon after leaving his house the other day. Even when he made a few calls to invite me over, I simply came up with a ton of lame excuses to reject him.

I wasn't throwing tantrums, but it was the fear of not behaving like his friend that kept me at a distance with him. The sadness, envy and every distasteful emotion were surfacing, and if I weren't careful enough, it would be impossible to hide my true feelings. I wasn't ready to let him know how I felt towards him, at least not now. So, I thought it was better for me to be away from him while I sort everything out.

"You alright?" Clara frowned, waving at my face.

Snapped into attention, I hadn't realised that I was spacing out before Clara appeared before me. I sighed, "Not exactly."

"Talk," she demanded.

I told her everything that happened at Leon's place and she burst out laughing. I had no idea what was so hilarious until she poked fun at me, "A man who doesn't mind washing your underwear? Darling, he's a keeper!"

"That's not the point!" I scowled.

"Which one did you go for?"

"I don't really remember, the black strapless one?" I had no idea why I replied to her.

"Good girl!" Clara laughed even harder.

"Stop distracting me, Clara!"

I finally smacked her in the arm, and she made a huge fuss over it but still making a joke out of me. When she decided that she couldn't laugh any more than she already did, she cleared her throat and sat up straight. Patting her thighs, she said firmly, "Rachelle, it's time to make a move."

"But—" I had wanted to protest.

"You've been finding way too many excuses for yourself for the past ten years," Clara rolled her eyes.

I raked both hands into my hair and messed up the strands while letting out a huge sigh. It was definitely easier said than done. I planned to do something since forever, but I always ended up doing the opposite of what I really wanted, and everything always turned out an 'if-only-I-was-brave-enough' situation.

For the rest of the day, I was stuck in the practice room to rehearse for the charity recital. That was the only thing to take my mind off the troubles. Clara was also busy with her upcoming composition competition, so we didn't have much time to spend together after classes. The period before Winter break had been hectic.

-

After practice, I strapped my cello over my shoulder and left the academy. Trudging through the walkway as the frigid wind blew past mercilessly, I shivered in the cold and realised that temperatures had dropped drastically recently, and it had gotten a lot colder here. My teeth chattered as I gripped firmly onto the strap of my cello case, trying to find some non-existent support to brave through the cold.

I miss home, it was never this cold there.

Sighing, I was about to make my usual trip to the bus stop until I saw someone coming out of the car that was pulled over right in front of me. I stared right at the familiar tall figure and my gaze met with a pair of hazel eyes that was etched too deep into my mind to ever forget.

"Rae!"

The internal panic was real when I quickly turned around, ready to escape into the academy compound with a lame excuse of wanting to retrieve a forgotten music score. But Leon was way faster than me, striding in my direction and pulling me by the arm. He tugged a little forcefully and I was facing him once again.

His brows were furrowed and he stared down at me almost piercingly, trying to study me. When he didn't get the answer he was looking for, he asked, "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not?" I lied.

"Yes, you are," he retorted and his face went taut from the tension of his suppressed emotions.

"Such great timing! Are you driving me back?" Since escaping has failed, let's opt for Plan B.

"You—" Leon sighed, sounding disappointed but never finishing the sentence he was about to say. Loosening his grip on my arm, he reached for my shoulder to take the cello from me. Then, he walked towards the car without uttering another word and I felt a painful squeeze in my chest.

I pulled on the door handle and got into the passenger seat while Leon went to the back to place my cello in the backseat before slamming the door shut and moved to sit on the driver's seat. He drove away from the academy and towards my home. Tension hung heavily in the air between us and the silence was suffocating. Fidgeting uncomfortably, I never sat well with these circumstances and decided to approach him carefully, "Leo?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" I could feel the bite in his tone, but he suppressed it very well.

The unease surfaced again, but this time it was remorse that pricked at my heart. Since we were children, Leon had always been the most tolerant of my nonsense and no matter what prank I pulled at him, he never once flared up at me. Even now, I knew that he was angry, but he was also trying to hold back the temper towards me.

"I'm sorry," I apologised.

"Just tell me why you are avoiding me," he pressed.

I went silent. I definitely couldn't tell him the actual reason why I had been avoiding him till now because I hadn't mentally prepared myself for the worst. The many 'what-if's of all possible situations that wouldn't work out the way I wanted it to be and the thought of losing him forever scared the living hell out of me. Rejection was the easy part, but I wasn't ready to face the overwhelming pain of his exit. Despite knowing that it was very selfish of me, I sucked in a deep breath and conjured a lie.

"It's really nothing, I was just in a mood a few days ago and I'm sorry if I took it out on you."

"Is that all?" he sounded doubtful.

"Yeah!"

"Then, what was the incident in my apartment about?" he asked. I mentally sighed, hating that Leon had always been sensitive and meticulous, never missing out a single detail.

"Um, I got a little pissed when I hadn't met you for a month and you seemed like you wanted to spend it with Tyson." Big fat liar, Rachelle pants on fire.

"You didn't have to rush home," he exhaled. "I didn't go out with Ty that night."

I spun my head around and looked at Leon, but he had his attention on the road ahead and concentrated on driving. Rolling my bottom lip and biting it between my teeth, a sudden feeling of embarrassment raised when I realised that I had overreacted to the whole situation.

"I wanted to spend time with you too, I just went ahead to reject Ty on the phone," he continued.

"Why did—"

Before I could even finish saying what I wanted to say, he continued, "Ty likes to cuss like a grandma. I don't want you to learn from him."

"I'm not a kid anymore, Leo." I had to remind him.

"It's not nice to swear, sweetheart." He shook his head disapprovingly.

I burst out a laugh, "It's not that I haven't heard Tyson cussing before, why are you making a deal out of it?"

Leon clicked his tongue, nagging at me while driving. Although the tension between us was lifted, it also made me understand one thing that I needed to get it straight into my mind: if I don't have the courage to make a move, I don't have a say over what Leon planned to do.

That was the boundary of being childhood friends.

-

Leon stopped somewhere to grab dinner for the both of us before heading to my apartment. The moment he entered, Cotton jumped on him and startled him. Leon wrapped his arms around the white cat instinctively and I nearly lunged to his rescue until Cotton purred obediently while staring at Leon with his jewelled-blue eyes.

"You have a cat?" Leon's face lit up in excitement as a brushed through the soft white fur with his fingers. Cotton let out a satisfied mewl and rested lazily in his arms.

"I adopted him a year back," I explained, realising that it's the first time Leon met Cotton. "Leon, meet Cotton. Cotton, meet Leon."

I introduced them to each other as though Cotton would understand what I'd just said. Leon laughed while petting the cat in his arms. I remained stunned while staring at my own cat because Cotton was known to be mean to every single human being except for me. It was to the extent that Mom had to beg me to bring him along with me when I moved out just because he could raise the entire hell into the household whenever I wasn't around.

Seeing this now, it felt nice that Leon was able to get along with Cotton. Well, at least my cat likes the same person as me.

I went ahead into the kitchen to unpack our food. Placing them properly on the counters before calling Leon over for dinner. He placed Cotton back on the couch and walked over to the sink to wash his hands.

"You have a nice apartment," he smiled.

✿

Cats or dogs?