Eighteen.

The number rang in my ears as I woke up the morning of my birthday.

It continued as I did every ridiculous and rambunctious thing with Becca and Riley as we took the train to Nice.

The number was on display as I blew out my candles and my parents handed me my gifts.

Eighteen meant so much.

Yet I felt like it was so little.

Most people begin to believe that at the age of eighteen, you get passage into this beautiful new age of opportunity and freedom. Most people say that it’s great for relationships because college guys are tangible options and you don’t have to worry about the immature high schoolers. Most people have told me that you can do anything in this stage of young adulthood.

However, instead of this exciting, new, freeing feeling, I felt lost. I wasn’t getting out of high school, I still had one more year. So it shot that horse in the face. The boy that I liked was, yes, older than me, but at this moment in time seemed completely out of my grasp. It was at this age that I had absolutely no clue how to once again gain control of my life.

I didn’t like this feeling.

Two days after my birthday and not doing anything except lounging around with Becca and Riley, we drove them to the airport and said goodbye. They were mildly grumpy that they didn’t get to see Liam before they left, nor that he got me anything for my birthday. I told them it really didn’t matter, even if it did sting a little. We hugged goodbye, promising that we would see each other at Christmas even if it was completely up to my family to send me to Portland to see our grandparents and friends who I hadn’t seen for over a year now. As I watched them go past security and out of view, I felt abandoned. I really shouldn’t have, it was great to see them again and I knew they couldn’t stay forever, but at this point they were the only people left for sanity. 

My parents were on the flight the next day to England so they could resume work in a place with less distractions and then it was back to just being James and I.

“Hey Cammie, what are you up to tomorrow?” James asked, coming into the hotel room late Friday evening.

“Art? Photo editing? Working on my summer reading list?”

“So nothing?”

“Yeah, pretty much, what’s up?”

“We have a free day tomorrow and we just want to actually enjoy the beach. Want to come?”

I didn’t expect it to be a hard choice. I loved the beach, I always have. Even the stormy beaches in Oregon that you couldn’t actually swim in, I adored. I loved the smell of salt and the feeling of sand between toes and the way everything seemed simpler. However, I didn’t like how James mentioned “we” because “we” usually meant Liam was included.

“Okay, I know that you’re still a little uncomfortable with Liam. But Cam, it’s been two months now.” It’s not like that fact made it any easier. Liam has had two months to talk to me about it. And maybe I was being petty about not just finally addressing him about it, but I didn’t want to do that either.

“You win as usual, fine, I’ll come.”

James smiled and told me the time we’d be leaving to meet up with the others before disappearing into the bathroom. 

I sighed dramatically, flopping onto my bed. All I could hope for, for tomorrow, was smooth sailing.

“Why did we ever decide it was a good idea to be in the Mediterranean in August?” Ava said, laying nearly lifeless on her towel. It was one of their few days off where they got to “enjoy” the summer and just relax, but the only person who seemed to really be enjoying it was Carson.

“You don’t understand, this weather is perfect. It’s winter in Australia, so I love it,” he said, settling back, putting his arms behind his head, after lowering his sunglasses onto the bridge of his nose.

“But I’m from Ireland, Carson, and I hate this kind of weather,” Ava complained again.

“So? Gem and I are from England and I, at least, am enjoying this,” Liam said from his spot.

“Oh, I’m enjoying it too,” Gemma cooed and I felt like gagging. Her flirting had gotten worse than Carson.

“What about you, Cammie, you like the sun?” Carson asked me and I don’t know if it was the heat getting to me, but I swear I saw Liam’s jaw clench.

“I like sun. I just don’t think I can handle over eighty-five degrees,” I groaned, shading my eyes from the sun.

“Eighty-five?” Gemma sputtered. “You’d die in eighty-five. You could probably bake a cake in eighty-five degrees.”

“What? No, it needs to be like three-hundred or something, doesn’t it?” I asked, suddenly confused. Eighty-five was not that hot.

“Gem, she means fahrenheit, not celsius,” Liam explained.

“You American. You’re living with a bunch of people who actually make sense. Imperial system, what is that?” Carson scoffed and I reached over to hit him. “Hey!”

“Imperial system does make sense! You’re the ones who are weird,” I said.

“Metric makes sense. Everything is by tens. Freezing starts at zero. You have absolutely no order.”

“But… well no, metric… it...” Every sentence I started had no proper end and so I just shut my mouth until Liam raised an expectant eyebrow. “The American system of measurement makes no sense. Fine, you win.” All of them beamed proudly and I realized I shouldn’t battle a bunch of non-Americans when I have no one else on my side. Where was James anyway?

“Hey guys, what’s up?” I looked over and saw James jogging towards us. In the sand. How was that even possible? He looked like the people from Baywatch. 

“Where have you been?” I asked him as he got closer.

“I found a few longboards in the cabana and they said they don’t belong to anyone. Who wants to go long-boarding?”

Carson’s hand shot straight up in the air, followed by Liam.

“I love long-boarding, let’s go,” Carson sprang to his feet, quickly rolling up his towel and gestured for everyone else to move.

“I don’t think I know how to longboard,” Ava said, still not moving otherwise from her spot on the beach.

“I’ll teach you, let’s go,” James said, offering out his hand to bring her to her feet. Ava smiled at that thought as she put her hand in James’ and stood up.

“I don’t know how to, either,” Gemma said, looking at Liam like he would offer. I dearly hoped he wouldn’t.

“I’ll teach everyone who doesn’t know, let’s just stop being lazy,” James said, moving his arms wildly indicating everyone to get up and move. Gemma pouted, but still rose to her feet, dusting the sand off her mile-long legs.

“Cam, let’s go,” Carson said and I realized I hadn’t moved yet. 

“Oh, right.” I began to get up when Carson offered his hand out to me and I took it without question as he pulled me to his feet. Once we had all our things, James started making the trek up to the cabana, which unfortunately, was farther than I would have liked.

“Liam’s getting jealous,” Carson said, just above a whisper, leaning in closer to me. My eyes widened and I looked so quickly at Carson that I nearly gave my neck a kink.

“No he’s not,” I protested, much too quickly.

“You don’t want him jealous?”

“Of course I don’t! That’s dumb!”

“But maybe he’ll realize how much of an idiot he is from not doing anything after the kiss.”

“Carson, you shouldn’t even know about that, that was a complete slip of the tongue.”

He only shrugged. “But I do know about it now and there’s nothing you can do about it. Except maybe actually talk to Liam and get it sorted out.”

“I told you, I don’t want to confront him. He’ll think I’m an overly emotional teenage girl.”

“You are an overly emotional teenage girl.”

“Wow, thanks.” He only grinned, flinging a tanned arm over my shoulder.

“You know, Cammie, there’s nothing wrong with making him a little jealous.” I frowned at Carson and shrugged his arm off my shoulder.

“It’s seriously the dumbest thing ever. Because he might get the wrong impression that I like you. Which I don’t.”

“Now that hurts,” Carson said, putting his hand over his heart.

“You know what I mean,” I strained, pushing my hair away from my face. Curse this heat. “You’re awesome, Carson, but there’s no way I would ever date you.”

“Okay, that really hurts.”

“Don’t tell me you’d want to date me.”

Carson laughed and shook his head. “You think too lowly of yourself.”

“You mean you would date me?”

“Sure. Maybe not steady, but I’d take you on a proper date, sure.”

“You’re joking,” I defied, shrinking away from him.

“In all honesty, I’m not. But I don’t like you like that, Cammie. It’s all good,” he told me.

“Then who do you like?”

“No one.” I looked doubtful. “I’m positive. There’s no time for it. How James and Ava are managing makes sense because they’re filming a movie together. But there’s no way I’d go for Gemma and all the other workers and actors on set are in their thirties at least. So. No one.”

“Huh,” was all I could manage to say in response.

“Carson, Cam, hurry up!” I turned forward to see Ava yelling at us.

Carson nudged me. “Race ya,” he said before he took off down the last stretch of beach. I groaned before running to attempt to catch up to him, but unfortunately, he had way too big of a head start. He reached the others before I even got in a rhythm.

When I approached the group, sweaty and out of breath, James was bringing the long-boards out and passing them over to the guys.

“Hey, what about us?” Ava complained.

“There are only three boards, we’ll share,” James said, grinning like a child.

“I don’t do well with sharing my toys,” Gemma said and I wanted to roll my eyes. She would word it like that.

“Well, lucky for you Gem, you don’t know how to long-board so unless you want to die or wipe out or something, then you’ll let the pros go first, and then we’ll teach you,” Carson said as he grabbed his board and put it under his feet.

The boys raced around for the next twenty minutes as the girls watched painfully. Gemma picked at her nails with the occasional cheering for Liam to win. Ava and I took turns between making fun of James and telling Gemma to be quiet. The last thing we needed was to draw fans over. The area was fairly abandoned, give or take a few elderly couples, so it was safe for the meantime. But we all feared a sudden break out of teens catching the boys together. They were all heartthrobs in the media world and it wouldn’t take more than a few tweets to get a swarm of hormones chasing them down the streets of Cannes. 

“Okay, girls, you ready?” Carson asked, rolling over to us on the board.

“Only took you a year to ask,” Ava asked, snatching the board from him.

“Don’t you want your boyfriend to teach you?” Carson asked.

“At this point, I really don’t care. Just let’s get on with it.” She placed the board on the ground and stood on it. “Now what?”

“Hold on a second, Ava, we need to get the other girls situated,” James said, handing his board to me as Liam gave his to Gemma.

I’m sure James purposefully gave me his board, but the jealousy was seeping into my soul. 

“Okay, so center your body and lean to direct which way you want to go. It might take a while to get the hang of it,” James instructed. His hands were on her waist and I prayed to our heavenly Father above that Liam wouldn’t hold Gemma like that.

“Like this?” Gemma asked, stepping on to her board and squatting in a way that her butt was much further out than necessary.

“Gem, your butt needs to be low, not out,” Ava said and I was so grateful she called her out on it.

“It is low,” Gemma rebutted.

“Shawty got low, low, low,” Carson mumbled under his breath and I smacked his arm. “What?” He asked, feigning innocence.

“You’re sick,” I said and he merely smirked. Once the long-board was on the ground, I stepped on, already feeling a little wobbly. “This is going to end badly, I can feel it.”

“Have confidence in yourself, Cammie!” Carson said, pushing me gently and making the board begin to move forward.

“No, do not push me. That’s how accidents happen!”

“Accidents happen… by accident. I’m not purposefully trying to injure you.” 

“Shoo. I’m gonna learn how to do this myself.” Carson stepped away as I squatted a little and shifted my weight to move the board. “I don’t understand this.”

“Want a push?” Carson asked, getting ready.

“No!”

“Cam, just push. It’s like a skateboard,” James told me. I reluctantly placed my foot on the ground and kicked off. At first, it moved steadily and I smiled with glee. But as I lurched forward, I got too excited and didn’t focus my weight, causing me  to fall forward.

I tried to catch myself. Really I did.

However, I was graced with the coordination of a lame donkey and found myself hurling towards the cement. 

Before I could protect my face, I felt an arm grab my bicep and pull me in the opposite direction, thrusting my face into someone’s hard chest.

“Ow,” I moaned in pain, pulling away, rubbing my nose.

“Sorry.” I looked up to see Liam, watching me with concern. “Didn’t want you to face-plant.” 

“I think I still did.” I scrunched my nose a few times, stretching it out. It was then I noticed Liam still holding my arm and I glanced at his face to see if he was paying any attention at all.

My breath locked in my throat as we made eye contact. The way he was studying me looked just as it did that night back in June and I could feel my palms begin to sweat. Stop it, Cam, he’s not going to do anything. He had that look of wanting to say something; a look I’ve begun to hate, because every time he’s had that look, he’s never said a word.

“You’re okay?” 

“Yeah,” I choked out, my voice a lot quieter. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Anyway,” Gemma said. “Can we long-board now or are we just letting them schmooze awhile longer?” I blinked once, then twice more before realizing everyone had been watching us. Carson was smirking, as expected, and James and Ava merely looked amused.

Gemma, on the contrary, was far less than thrilled to see that I had captured the attentions of Liam for a few moments.

“Yeah, we can long-board. Sorry,” Liam apologized again and backed away from me as I grabbed my board.

I shook my head quickly as everyone started walking back up the hill a little to get a better start. Someday, I’d get him out of my head and move along.

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Hello my lovelies! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you did, be sure to let me know by commenting and voting!

Starbird will be wrapping up shortly, so look out for upcoming stories by yours truly! I have a few in mind, so I suppose we'll just have to see which one comes out :P

Stay classy and have a wonderful day,

- Kate