"I hate to admit it," Dean says, wiping the frosting from his mouth, "but for all the trouble this cake gave you, it's actually really good."

"Thanks," Claire says with a grin.

"I know, right?" Lucifer says at the same time. "We should make a business. 'Baking cakes, frosting too soon; the family business.'"

"It's not that good," Dean says.

Lucifer scoffs. "Wow, thanks, Dean. Really glad you're being the most supportive friend a guy could ask for."

"Always," Dean says with a grin.

"Wow, maybe I shouldn't make you a birthday Instagram post," Lucifer says, pouting.

"I thought you already did," Dean says, confused. "I already got a notification that you posted something, and you already took a picture of the cake, so..."

"Oh, no, I posted the cake," Lucifer says. "And now I gotta wait a couple hours before I can post about your birthday so I can have a picture from today, and I can't post that now or people will realize I didn't have the cake done before you showed up."

"That's such a weird thing to be worried about," Dean says, amused.

"Are you kidding?" Lucifer scoffs. "I have been cancelled 17 times already. I refuse to let anyone cancel me over my inability to be prepared, too."

"You've been cancelled 17 times?" Castiel repeats. Is Lucifer just being weird, or is he actually being deemed problematic now? It was bound to happen eventually, but...

"Well, no, not literally," Lucifer says, "but people don't really like me anymore." He chuckles. "I totally forgot you have no social media presence anymore. You really had no idea, did you?"

"What happened?" Castiel asks.

"I don't really know," Lucifer admits. "People stopped finding me funny and they felt the need to justify not liking me, I guess. And, you know, the whole 'I pretended you killed yourself when your social media accounts were deleted' thing from a few years ago keeps getting brought up, which is honestly a pretty valid reason to cancel someone, but I wasn't cancelled at the time so I think that's just their justification for not liking me."

"Well, that sucks," Castiel says.

"Eh." Lucifer shrugs. "At this point, I'm pretty used to seeing people spend hours of their lives talking about how much they hate me. I may be the 'problematic' one, but at least I have a life." He pauses, eyeing the mess of an eight-layer rainbow cake he helped make. "I mean, it's a weird life, but, you know, it's a life."

"Ay, problematic bros." Dean high fives him across the table.

"What are you problematic for?" Castiel asks his fiancè.

"Oh, I've always been problematic," Dean says.

"No, people have always hated you," Castiel corrects him. "But you've never been problematic."

"Touchè," Dean agrees.

"How you two manage to bond over the world hating you is beyond me," Claire remarks.

"Well, the world hates us, so who else are we supposed to bond with?" Dean asks.

"God, I am so glad I'm not online anymore," Castiel mutters. He could deal with people not liking him — not that he dealt with it well in any sense of the word, but that's not important — but he's not sure he could handle people talking shit about the people he loves.

"I hear you," Claire agrees.

"Dada?" Alex looks up from her high chair expectantly.

"What's up, kiddo?" Lucifer asks.

"Where's..." She uses her hands to imitate what looks like opening a book.

"The card?" Lucifer guesses.

She nods.

"That is an excellent question," Lucifer says. "I will be right back."

He gets up and darts out of the room, leaving the other four sitting in an awkward silence until he returns. His hands are behind his back, and he heads straight to Dean's chair — at the end of the table with balloons floating off it, of course — and hands him a folder piece of paper.

"This is dangerously close to reaching gift territory," Dean points out.

Lucifer sits back in his seat. "Just open the card."

He does as he's told, and he beams at what he sees. He turns it around to show off a crudely drawn birthday cake in Sharpie — likely drawn by Lucifer or Claire — and colored in with crayon — hopefully done by Alex, or her parents need to learn what the lines are for.

"This is awesome," Dean says. "Thank you, Alex!"

Alex just giggles.

~~~

Dean and Castiel stick around for a while afterwards, at Lucifer's request. They help clean up the huge mess the cake made in the kitchen, and Lucifer and Claire reciprocate by helping them prepare the remaining cake for transportation home. They had to split it into a few different pieces, but it's finally short enough to stuff in cake holders.

It may be Dean's birthday, but Lucifer talks to the birthday more all the time, and the same can't be said when it comes to Castiel, so they pick up their own conversation. The two of them are sitting at the kitchen table, each with a drink -- Lucifer with a HI-C fruit punch juice box and Castiel with a glass of apple juice, because they're literal children.

"Oh, hey, Cas, guess what?" Lucifer says, interrupting himself in the middle of a completely different conversation.

"What?"

"I'm almost done with your music video!" Lucifer says with a grin. "If I stop getting distracted every 20 minutes, I bet it'll be done by the end of the week."

"Wait, seriously?" Castiel grins. "I can't wait."

"Don't get your hopes up, though," Lucifer adds. "I may make a bazillion YouTube videos, but I'm not an expert at music videos, so I can't guarantee I did your book justice."

"I bet you did," Castiel says, but then what Lucifer says really sinks in, and he has to ask, "Did you read it?"

"Obviously," Lucifer says. "The whole internet was freaking out when you posted it. I had to check it out."

"Right..." Why did it just not occur to him when he decided to publish his shitty Wattpad book that people he knows would be reading it?

"He was gushing over it nonstop for, like, a week straight," Claire tells him.

"Literally though," Lucifer says. "I mean, I already know you were a good writer because your lyrics are all fancy and deep and stuff, but I book format... I've never been so impressed in my life."

"Oh, thanks," Castiel mumbles.

"And stop acting like this is super awkward as if I haven't accidentally stumbled on smut in like, 50 different fanfics on AO3," Lucifer adds.

Castiel almost chokes on his apple juice. "You read fanfiction?"

"You literally have a Wattpad account dedicated to reading fanfics about yourself," Lucifer reminds him. "I don't think I'm the weird one."

"I mostly just try to support the talented people in my fandom that can't make art or music or whatever," Castiel says. "The hell are you reading fanfics about?"

"Everything," Lucifer says. "Sherlock, Good Omens, Shadowhunters — anything I like, really."

"But that's so... not you?" Castiel says uncertainly. Lucifer's never struck him as a fanfic person. He barely reads actual fiction, never mind stuff made by random people on the internet.

"But it is so me," Lucifer says, seeming just as confused as Castiel. "I like my fandoms, and sometimes my shows do the characters dirty, and someone has to fix it. Plus I can only wait so long for new seasons of Sherlock without getting some type of Sherlock content."

"I mean, I guess..."

"He has literally posted links to fanfics on Twitter before," Dean remarks from the other room. "I swear, if I have to see one more fanfic about flipping Clace —"

"You would finally watch the show?" Lucifer asks hopefully. "Okay, hang on, I have a whole bunch bookmarked —"

"I'm not watching the show," Dean says immediately.

Lucifer pouts. "Cassie, will you watch the show?"

"I am more than content with the books," Castiel says. "The actual books, not the fanfics."

"Y'all are so boring," Lucifer whines.

"It sure do be like that sometimes," Castiel says with a shrug.

"Yes it do, Cassie," Lucifer says. "Yes it do."

Alex, who had been on the floor with her mother, is now just staring at Dean. The guy's oblivious, too distracted by both the conversation and his guitar playing to notice the child on the floor.

Alex pushes herself to her feet and walks over to Dean. No one else follows, not wanting to risk interrupting their potential bonding time.

"Hi," Dean says with his Baby Voice™. "Whatcha doing?"

Alex points at his hand — or, potentially, the strings of the guitar. It's hard to tell.

"You mean this?" Dean knocks on the base of the guitar. "It's a guitar. You've seen me use it before."

Alex just stares at it.

"Come here," Dean says, holding a hand out to her.

After a brief moment of hesitation, she closes the gap between them and reaches out. Dean takes her hand and puts it on the strings over the sound hole.

"Isn't it cool?" Dean asks. "Do you want to strum it for me?"

Alex looks at him and tilts her head.

"Like this." Dean fixes his top hand, then strums the strings under Alex's hand. "And then I can move my other hand, and it makes a different noise." He switches from a G chord to Em and strums again. "Do you want to try?"

Alex eyes him cautiously for a moment, then gently strums the guitar. It doesn't make much noise, and it certainly isn't good, but Dean cheers for her anyway. He switches to the C chord and asks her to try again, and she does. He switches to CMaj7, and she strums again. They continue in this fashion for a while, until Alex eventually gets bored and sits down on the floor.

"Hey, Alex, guess what?" Dean says with a grin.

Alex cocks her head to the side.

"You just played Uncle Castiel's favorite song."

Alex stares at him blankly, and Castiel has to admit, he's just as confused. That didn't sound like a song in any sense of the word.

"It's a super, super old song," Dean adds. "Even older than Mama and Dada."

"Woah," she whispers.

"'Woah' is right," Dean agrees. "It's called 'Dust in the Wind.'"

Castiel raises an eyebrow. That was Dust in the Wind? Damm. There's a reason you're supposed to pluck the strings and not just let a 22-month-old strum it.

"Do you wanna hear what it usually sounds like?" Dean asks.

Alex nods.

"It's gonna sound way different because I can't play it as well as you do," Dean adds. "Is that okay?"

Alex nods again.

"Okay, it goes like this."

So Dean plays it for her, using the same chords in the same order over and over, and Alex is captivated.

"But Uncle Dean," Lucifer says, "aren't there words to this song?"

Dean narrows his eyes. "No, Dad, I don't think there are. If you happen to know otherwise, maybe you should show us."

"What, my child isn't worthy of your serenading?" Lucifer asks. "I'm offended."

"Your child deserves better than my serenading," Dean corrects him. "Hey, Cas, you should sing along!"

Castiel shakes his head. "Imma pass."

"Play different song," Alex says.

"Any different song?" Dean asks. "Or is there a song you really, really want me to play?"

Alex nods.

"What song is it?" Dean asks.

"Jasmine."

"Jasmine?" Dean repeats, amused. "You want me to play Jasmine?"

Alex nods again.

"Are you gonna sing for us?" Dean asks.

Alex nods.

"So if I start the first few words, you can keep singing?"

Alex nods. She seems to do a lot of that.

"Okay, let's do it."

So Dean starts the song with, "I can show you the world..." He stops singing there, still playing guitar and letting Alex sing. Unfortunately, she doesn't, so he stops. "Where's your singing?"

"You sing more," she says.

"If I sing another line, will you sing with me?" Dean asks. "And then you can take over?"

She nods.

"Okay, let's try it again." He restarts the song. "I can show you the world. Shining, shimmering splendid..."

Again, Alex doesn't sing, but she does smile until he stops.

"Why aren't you singing with me?" Dean asks. "You said you'd sing with me, didn't you?"

She nods.

"Try it again," Lucifer says. "Keep going. She'll join in eventually."

"Okay," Dean says skeptically, but he does so anyway just to please the child.

Lucifer taps Castiel on the shoulder and whispers in his ear, "She's gonna sing, like, two lines, and only if Dean keeps singing with her."

"Should you tell him that?" Castiel whispers back.

"God, no," Lucifer says. "Dean wouldn't sing it at all if I did."

"I'm pretty sure he would," Castiel says. "I mean, he's sung it for me. I think he'd sing it for her, too."

"Cas, you are one of the very, very few people who can get Dean to sing," Lucifer says. "With all the times I've called, texted, and FaceTimed and begged him, he has not budged. I literally posted a ten-second clip on my Instagram story of him singing Simple Man a few months ago, and he made me delete it immediately. The guy's just not a singer."

"That's literally so incredibly not true that I don't know how to respond," Castiel says.

"I think he does it when you're around to humor you, honestly," Lucifer says. "You know, 'cause you've managed to get him up on stage a couple times, and at this point, it's probably too late to admit he doesn't like singing in front of people."

"Or maybe he just doesn't want you posting videos of him singing on Instagram without permission," Castiel suggests.

"That is entirely possible," Lucifer says. "But I still stand by my theory."

"And I still think your theory is stupid," Castiel says. "The guy sings all the time."

"Mm," Lucifer hums. "Yeah, you know, for you."

"I guarantee if I asked him right now —"

"He would lie, because, as I said, it's a little too late to tell you that he doesn't like singing in front of people," Lucifer interrupts.

"And has he told you this himself?"

"Technically, no, not in as many words —"

"So why, exactly, would I believe it?" Castiel asks.

"Oh my god," Lucifer whispers. "I feel like I just got 'Checkmate, athiests'ed."

"That's because you did," Castiel says.

Claire claps loudly, possibly to get Lucifer and Castiel to pay attention. "Bravo, Dean! Wonderful performance! I'm so glad I wasn't too busy arguing with my brother to miss it."

Yep, it was definitely to get Lucifer and Castiel's attention.

"Why are you applauding me?" Dean asks. "I think we all know that Alex was the real star of the show, don't you think?"

"You do have a point," Claire says. In her signature Baby Voice™, she tells her daughter, "You were so good! I love your dancing!"

Alex giggles.

"Wow," Castiel whispers to his brother. "We really missed everything."

Lucifer sighs dramatically. "Life is hard." 

A/N This chapter was sponsored by evermore, the sister album/sequel to folklore by Taylor Swift. The song at the beginning of the chapter seems to be most people's favorite (mine included atm) but this is the single and the one with the music video (and tied with "'tis the season" for my second fav at the moment) so I'm putting it down here for y'all to enjoy if you have taste :)

https://youtu.be/RsEZmictANA