"Cas, why are we in a group chat with Lucifer and Jack?"

Castiel cocks his head to the side, squinting slightly. "We're what?"

"C'mere, look at this."

Castiel sits down on the couch next to his fiancé, looking over his shoulder at his phone. Dean tilts the screen so that Castiel can see it.

Lucifer: Hey y'all

"Are you gonna text him back?" Castiel asks.

"I don't know," Dean says. "I'm kinda scared."

They don't have to wait long for Jack to answer, though.

Jack: Hi! :)

"Aw, the smiley face," Castiel says. "That's adorable."

"It's literally a smiley face," Dean deadpans.

"Yeah, but it's a cute, 2014-esc smiley face," Castiel says. "And honestly, anything Jack does is adorable. I don't make the rules."

Dean just shakes his head, amused.

Lucifer: 'Ello

Lucifer: I meant hello but I forgot the h whoops

Lucifer: Although how cool is it than autocorrect remembered to put the apostrophe

Lucifer: And that autocorrect spelled apostrophe for me

Lucifer: Taylor Swift was lying when she said spelling is fun

Lucifer: The song is an absolute bop tho

Lucifer: By far one of her worst songs but a timeless bop nonetheless

Lucifer: Sorry I'm monologuing

Lucifer: I'll stop now

Jack: Don't stop on my account! This is really funny :)

"He's back again with the smiles," Dean remarks.

Lucifer: Welp

Lucifer: I'm waiting for Dean and Cassie to answer me

Lucifer: Which might take a while

Lucifer: Castiel probably kidnapped Dean and made him watch Aladdin again against his will

Jack: It's a good movie, though.

Lucifer: Not the number of times Dean's seen it

"I feel called out," Castiel says.

"Good," Dean jokes. "Should I text him now, or do you want to see what stupid stuff he's going to say next?"

"You should probably text him," Castiel says. "Let's go save Jack."

Dean: Fortunately he hasn't made me watch it in almost a week

Castiel playfully slaps him on the shoulder. "Now you're exposing me!"

"Damn right I am."

Lucifer: Oh hai

Lucifer: Where be Cassie

Dean: Sitting next to me

Lucifer: Lit!

Lucifer: So obviously Jack is coming up here tomorrow

Lucifer: And Alex is going to steal his cat

Lucifer: But I was thinking

Lucifer: I have an idea for un video

Lucifer: And I was wondering

Lucifer: Would y'all be interested in making a video

Lucifer: And it's 100% okay to say no

Lucifer: Bc I have a million ideas for video that don't involve having other people

Lucifer: But if y'all wanna be in a video

Lucifer: Lmk

Lucifer: Mkay?

"Do you wanna be in a video?" Dean asks.

"Not really, no," Castiel says.

"Wait, what?" Dean says in surprise. "Why not?"

Castiel shrugs. "I kinda still want to stay quiet. I don't want to do things. Plus, it'll get people's hopes up that I'm promoting a new album, and I'd feel bad."

"That's dumb," Dean says.

"And what about it?" Castiel jokes.

Jack: Yes that would be awesome!

"See, you can't say 'no' now," Dean says. "Jack already said he wants to."

"Then you three can do it without me," Castiel says. "I'll just stand and watch. I don't want to get my fans excited over nothing."

"Ugh, fine," Dean says. "Buzzkill."

Castiel shrugs. "So I am."

Dean: Cas is lame and said no but I'm in

Lucifer: W h a t

Lucifer: Why would Cassie say no to me

Lucifer: I'm his favorite person ever

Lucifer: This don't make sense

Lucifer: *doesn't

Lucifer: Fucking autocorrect making me sound like I've never passed an English class in my life

Lucifer: Wait no

Lucifer: Pretend I didn't swear

Lucifer: Jack is here

Lucifer: He's too innocent to hear such profanities

Jack: I'm really not though

Lucifer: Shut up yes you are

Lucifer: Anyway

Lucifer: Cassie whyyyyyyyy

Dean: He doesn't wanna get people's hopes up or something

Dean: Idk it's something stupid

"I don't want my fans to think I'm doing promo," Castiel explains yet again.

"Whatever."

Dean: He thinks that reminding people he exists will make them think he's doing stuff

Lucifer: Is he aware that people already know he exists

"No shit, Sherlock," Castiel says, rolling his eyes.

Dean: Cas says no shit Sherlock

Castiel slaps him on the shoulder. "You weren't supposed to tell him that!"

Dean: Cas said I want supposed to tell you that tho

"Oh, just shut up!" Castiel says, fighting back a laugh.

Lucifer: I no understand?

Lucifer: He realizes you post pictures of him all the time right

Lucifer: Like

Lucifer: Anyone who ever looks at your Instagram story probably really really remembers he exists

"Wait, how often do you post pictures of me?" Castiel asks. "When does this happen?"

"Don't worry about it," Dean says dismissively.

"That's not an answer," Castiel says. "And, actually, that makes me worry about it much more than I was."

"Don't worry about it," Dean says again.

Dean: Idk he's weird like that

Lucifer: Tell him he should do the video anyway

"Cas, you should do the video anyway," Dean says.

"Or I could not," Castiel says.

Dean: Didn't work

Lucifer: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Lucifer: What if he doesn't even do anything

Lucifer: I mean

Lucifer: He and Jack were going to be the main storyline

Lucifer: But I can change it

Lucifer: You can be the main dude ig

Lucifer: I mean you kinda suck

Lucifer: But you'll do ig

Dean: Oh thanks -_-

Lucifer: ¯\_(ツ)_/

Lucifer: Oh fuck he's missing a hand

Lucifer: Uhhh

Lucifer: ¯\_(ツ)_/-

Lucifer: Oh fuck that failed too

Lucifer: What if I copy and paste his other hand

Lucifer: Hang on

Lucifer: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lucifer: Poifect

Dean: What happened to Jack being Too Innocent for these profanities

Lucifer: Oh fuck

Lucifer: Wait—

Dean: You're kind of an idiot

Lucifer: Why thank you

Lucifer: ANYWAY

Lucifer: Ask Cas if he just wants to sit there and be in the video without having to do anything

Lucifer: He doesn't even have to try to keep a straight face or anything

Lucifer: Askkkkk

Dean: I'm asking shut up

Lucifer: You can't ask if you're texting

"Hey, Cas," Dean says. "What if —"

"You realize I'm literally looking at your phone, right?"

"Yeah, but Lucifer told me to ask," Dean says.

"Well, tell Lucifer I said okay."

"Yes!" Dean pumps his fists, excited. "I knew you'd come around! And all it took was Lucifer insulting me."

"That's my favorite part of the day," Castiel says.

"Yo, same!"

Dean: Cas said yes

Lucifer: Yesssssssssss

Lucifer: M'kay I'll send y'all the script at some point soon

Lucifer: Thank you you're the bestttt

Dean: I know I am

Lucifer: Actually that was directed to everyone but you

Dean: -_-

Lucifer: Jk

Dean: :)

Lucifer: It was directed towards Jack and Jack alone

Dean: -_-

Jack: Thanks?

Lucifer: :)

A/N Was anyone going to tell me I hadn't updated this in like two months? I literally have like five chapters ready rn like I could've updated if I had any semblance of time management. 

ANYWAY

If y'all watched 15x03 plz read the last part of this bc I think it's a cool reference

I know everyone (myself included) thinks the live action Cats is gonna suck, but Andrew Lloyd Webber (who wrote Cats and Phantom of the Opera and probably other cool stuff) is working on the movie and he wanted one new song for it. He wrote the music but he didn't have any lyrics written and Taylor Swift offered to write it for him. It's called Beautiful Ghosts, and it's incredible. It's written for Jennifer Hudson's vocal range so we're gonna ignore that but y'all gotta listen to it. It's the most haunting beautiful song you will ever listen to, and it sounds nothing like anything else she's ever released. Plz give it a listen just to take pity on me for typing this whole thing up. 

https://youtu.be/trIjpVH8h88

Anyway here are my favorite lyrics as incentive

"Should I take chances, when nobody took chances on me?"

"All that I wanted was to be wanted. Too young to wander London streets, alone and haunted." (y'all may get the reference to her song Fifteen when she says "when all you wanted was to be wanted, wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now"

"The memories were lost long ago, but at least you have beautiful ghosts."

"Scared to call them my friends and be broken again. Is this hope just a mystical dream?"

Spn 15x03 spoilers here

This whole song gives me Cas vibes after how Dean's been treating him, but I think my favorite accidental reference to that is the line "Born into nothing. At least you have something, something to cling to. Visions of dazzling rooms I'll never get let into." Like Cas was born into nothing. He was created to be a soldier, and he didn't fit in and left. He tried hunting with the Winchesters, but he was only welcome there for a few years until Dean started treating him like literal garbage. At least Sam and Dean can cling to each other, but Cas is all on his own. He's not really welcome in their family.

Or so you think but I started a new fic where Cas gets adopted into a new hunter family and when Sam and Dean find out they're not v happy but Cas is doing  better than he ever was (haha Taylor Swift reference) now that he knows what it's like to have a real family and be equals instead of just an afterthought

Also back to the Cas thing, the line "So maybe my home isn't what I had known, what I thought it would be" is the literal definition of Cas' life right now

Holy shit this is a long note I should probably make it shorter but you know what? Taylor's out there dealing with Scooter Braun's misogynistic power grab, and the least I can do is promote her new song because she can't or people will think she's just trying to get promo