Running had always been an escape for me. It had taught me early on that I could handle things one step at a time. So here I am at 9 at night running. I run, my feet kissing the pavement, trying to escape the confines of my home and clear my head. I run trying to convert all my pain into miles, hoping that in time I wouldn't be running from home but to it.

What am I even upset about? It's her life, all I want is for her to be happy. But the thought of her getting back with Taehyung makes my heart ache. He's my friend, I know he's sorry, but can she trust him to not do it again? To love and cherish her how she deserves?

No, it wasn't whether he would or could change, it was that I knew he didn't deserve her. That he would never love her how I did. But I was her friend, hell, I wasn't even her best friend anymore. I knew she cared for me and had accepted me back, but she would never be in love with me.

She would eventually move on, I wasn't stupid but I thought I'd have more time to come to terms with it, and I never thought it would be her going back to Taehyung.

My lungs burn and I hunch over trying to catch my breath, I look around and realize my feet subconsciously led me to Kookie's house. I know it didn't lead me here for him but for Viv, who's probably snuggled into the couch with her spicy sprite and some popcorn looking for a movie to watch.

One step at a time, it's a mantra in my head. I decide I can't let it eat me, I've got to talk to her. Maybe I'm misunderstanding everything. Maybe I should finally just be a man and tell her how I feel and deal with the consequences of it. Then at least I wouldn't have to deal with the what-ifs for the rest of my life.

My heart is pounding as I walk up to the door, my hands clammy. I quickly wipe them on my joggers and raise my hand to knock on the door, but before I can it's pulled open and Kookie is standing there.

"Oh, hey man. What are you doing here?" he's clearly taken aback, not expecting me.

"Oh, uh, I just came to talk to Viv," I rub the back of my neck.

"Oh, perfect! She's been in a great mood all day, maybe you can let me know why?" he says with a smirk and a raise of his eyebrows.

My mood plummets because he's clearly got the wrong idea. I haven't seen her all day but she has seen Taehyung.

"Uh, I wouldn't know," I say playing dumb.

"Sure you don't," he nudges my shoulder as he walks out of the house. "I'll go take out the trash and go for a walk, I probably won't be home for an hour or so."

I laugh as he leaves and shake my head. Kook's always been an amazing friend, he knows I've been in love with Viv since I joined the team and met him. He's always rooted for us to be together despite me messing up a few years ago. If only he knew that she was still in love with Tae...I know that's going to be an issue.

When I walk into the living room, I see her with all her beautiful hair pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head, loose strands hanging out, framing her face, no make-up, a large tee, and a pair of Kook's basketball shorts. Plain and simple, but oh so beautiful.

"Jiminie!" she shouts happily when she sees me. "What are you doing here?"

"I was out for a run and decided to stop by," I shrug and sit down next to her.

"You ran here? From your house?" I nod and her eyes double in size.

"Jimin, that's eight miles, are you crazy?!"

"It's not that far. Don't worry about it," I give her a smile and she crosses her arms over her chest with a slight pout on her full lips.

"How did it go with Tae?" I ask and her pout turns into a smile.

"Really good. We were able to actually talk and I told him I forgive him."

I feel myself deflate at her words, but still keep a fake smile on my face and nod along.

"Oh, Jiminie, I'm so sorry but I'll have to cancel lunch with you tomorrow," she says with a frown, and my brows furrow with confusion.

"Why?"

"Because I promised Tae I'd go have lunch with him. You're not mad, are you?" she says finally realizing I've been rather short and quiet this whole time.

"No, it's fine. Have a good time," I say lying.

"I'll come over for dinner? I'll bring your favorite"

"Sure, that sounds good, Viv," I stand getting ready to go.

My heart is hurting and I can't confess now, she's happy again and I'm her friend. All I can do is love and support her choices.

"Everything okay?" she stands too and looks at me worriedly.

"Yes, everything's good, I guess I'm just tired. I should get home and shower before going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow," I walk to the front door and she follows behind me.

Just before I go to leave, she wraps her arms around me and holds me close.

"You can talk to me if you need to, Jimin," she looks up at me and the worry is clear as day.

"I'm okay, I promise," I hold up my pinkie for her and she locks hers with mine, pressing our thumbs together.

"I love you, Jimin."

As a friend.

"I love you too, Viv," I say and leave the house.

I'll get over this. She's my friend and I'll learn to love her in that way.

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