Institute Of Medical Specialists. Los Angeles, California.

If there's anything Rebecca despises more than vanilla along with its painful allergic effects, it's the scent of hospitals. According to her family's persistent claims, events she recalls from the time during her childhood when she'd spent about a year and a half at a hospital, are woefully incorrect. Her mother in particular, insists they’re all borne out of nightmares and delusions; the fears and panic of her last episode playing a huge part in conjuring up dark delusions in her head. Her family wholeheartedly believe since she can't even recall the exact details of how the birth of her cousin came to be when she was eight, she can't possibly be accurate in her recollections when she’d only been five years old.

But every time Rebecca steps inside a hospital, or sees family members in waiting areas, faces ashen and petrified, she has fuzzy but very much detailed memories of her own father and mother, each hunching on either sides of a stretcher she's lying on, telling her over and over again in high pitched voices that she's going to be okay. But all a five year old Rebecca gave them are fearful glances, as if her immature mind could somehow comprehend that the minute she's taken away from her family to the operating room, the chances of her making it back alive are as slim as a needle.

She can recall Fergal, barely six, crying on his aunt's lap in loud wails, the lollipop in his hand meant for appeasement forgotten, as he struggle to get out of his aunt's clutches to his sister. But their aunt Christina, maintains a tight hold around his small waist while her husband and Rebecca's uncle, Dan, muttered something unintelligent under his breath. By the glare his wife had shot up at him, Rebecca can understand now, whatever her uncle must've said hadn't been anything kind.

The echo of wheelers screeching on the tile floor as the nurses drove the stretcher to the operating room still manages to ring loud in her ears, as though it'd only happened yesterday. Rebecca can very much recall the stinging point of a syringe piercing into the skin of her arm, can remember a nurse snatching away her doll from her chest without explanation and how her senses had lost the meaning of reality and dreams before her wide, fearful eyes had finally shut close.

It was only when she was fourteen, when she was old and mature enough to understand her health condition did she come to realize she hadn't exactly fallen asleep as she'd thought at the time. She'd been rendered unconscious to allow the doctors to work on her with practiced ease, to reduce whatever pain that may have been inflicted on her if she were awake and no matter how silly and insignificant, it was comforting to know at the time that each person scheduled for an operation has to be sedated into unconsciousness.

Knowing this had made Rebecca feel less unique, less bitter and resentful about her health. But with everything that had occurred to her four years ago, she believed then, she was not only cursed but that her entire life has been unfair.

The world has truly been unfair to her for a long time, in so many situations in her life that often enough the mere act of breathing becomes pointless. Reliving memories has often been a tedious job for Rebecca, the source of her greatest pain and desperation but she has come to accept that to move on and enjoy this new chapter of her life, she'll have to embrace and accept those memories. The good and the bad. The happy and the sad ones. It's the only way she'll be able to move on and give the best of herself into this new-found relationship with Colby and phase in her life.

So although she feels nauseous right now inhaling in the frigid, sickly scent of the hospital, even though she feels like bolting down the staircase she'd arrived by, she forces her butt to remain planted down on the chair. Grief gradually swarms its way up her chest watching a family of three standing a few feet away from where her and Colby along with his friend Joe, are seated at the waiting area of the Emergency Department, wailing over a beloved a doctor came to announce is dead ten minutes ago.

Rebecca idly toys with the initiated gold letter of the necklace around her neck as she watches Colby's jaws grind together and release every now and then, stares at the way his knuckles has turned white from gripping the chair he's sitting on too hard as cries of loss mount up. Rebecca can tell he's no doubt thinking of his mother, wondering how she is doing and why it's taking close to two hours for the doctor to come out of the operating room with news.

Unable to take the uneasy tension in the air and Colby's unwavering, hard gaze fixated on the tile flooring any longer, Rebecca places a hand on his shoulder, hoping it jolts him out of his stiff reverie but also hopefully, provide a semblance of support. But he doesn't so much as flinch or look up at her from his attention riveted on the floor. His mind looks to be too far away, his body too rigid with fear and uncertainty. For a split second, Rebecca just feels helpless and lost watching him tear up bit by bit in front of her eyes, certain he's only seconds away from bursting but it never comes despite the numerous times the notion has flown into her head.

He hasn't uttered a word since they sat down. He'd only hugged her and cried the second she arrived, Joe fortunately giving her the details in his friend's place. Rebecca hadn't bothered to ask him anything else afterwards. It had become apparent to her he won't be able to summon the strength to speak. She had decided to give him time to cry and vent out all his sadness and agitation, sure enough that later, once he's much calmer and composed, he would eventually talk to her. So far, he hasn't. His silence alone is much more worrisome than the tears which slips onto his cheeks ever so often.

Rebecca has been in these types of situations too often to know it's never advisable to leave one to his wandering thoughts and though she’s aware Colby is probably stronger and more resilient than she will ever be, she isn't quite prepared to have him get the idea he's all alone for he isn't.

He's never alone.

She's here. She'll always be here for him. It might sound selfish or perhaps a little greedy, but she desperately wants him to look at her, to give her his full attention, to talk to her. Anything. Anything at all. As long as he breaks his silence.

Reminding herself she has to approach things with utmost care, Rebecca reaches down to gently set her hand on top of his which is still clenched around the chair, recalling a moment too late the blood splattered on his knuckles and fingertips and against all odds, she's grateful it's dried blood.

Seeing blood anywhere, even if they're only red marks as the ones Colby had left on her white jacket when he'd gripped her arms and shakily informed her his mother may permanently be rendered blind, reminds her of the blood she’d coughed into a handkerchief at one of Jeff's numerous awarding events one night years ago, and how flawlessly she'd lied to him afterwards when he'd asked if everything was okay.

She'd only given him a smile and a nod, the hand she had the handkerchief in firmly curled around her back to hide from him the spots of blood splashed on its white fabric. She'd hastily tucked the handkerchief back into her purse before Jeff had appeared once more to take her to greet more of his famous friends.

She hadn't informed anyone after that night. Not even Ashley and by the time the coughs had gone severe for the headaches to roll in each morning, by the time her family had come to know of her deteriorating health condition, the hospital she dreaded was the only place that could save her.

Swallowing down the lump which has grown in her throat at the memories, she shuts her eyes briefly to cast out the drowsiness which now threatens to envelop her. She ignores how queasy her stomach has suddenly gotten and either it's from the sight of the blood or the fact that she hasn't taken her medicines tonight, she doesn't know. But she brushes them away all the same, for she knows whatever Colby is going through at this time, is more agonizing than her irritating drowsiness and phobia of blood.

"It's going to be alright." She assures him the minute he snaps out of his brooding and meets her eyes, his own full of despair and lingering tears. She hates to see her loved ones like this. She hates to see Colby so defeated and helpless. He's the one gifted with motivational speeches. The one who usually finds positivity in bleak situations but now that she's on the other side of the coin with him on the side she's often on, she's short of words as to what she can say to console him, to convince him everything is going to be okay like he has done for her so many times already.

Right now, all she has are mere words and an optimism even Rebecca herself doesn't believe in. She can only pray Colby doesn't see through her fake mask, hope the cries will stop so the steady rise of sorrow building up inside her chest can subside. She can't afford to cry now. She can't be weak. She needs to be strong.

"I don't know, Rebecca." He stares unblinkingly into her eyes and Rebecca can tell he isn't looking at her at all. "I don't know how we got into this situation in the first place. I just don't know."

Rebecca can't fathom how they found themselves in this situation to begin with herself. One minute, they'd been tangled up on the couch of the gazebo, teasing and kissing each other and now they are at the hospital with Colby's mother's life practically hanging on by a thread. She'd had to rush back to her bedroom to change into something more simpler and comfortable while Colby raced back on his bike to his house after receiving a call from Joe informing him of his mother's robbery attack.

Seeing the way Colby's eyes were clouded over with incredulity and grief the second she arrived and even now as he just stares off into space, Rebecca fears she only has a tiny and too much of a simple picture as to the state he'd found his mother in.

Supposedly, she was attacked by thieves at her house who ended up shooting at the back when things got a bit ugly but it doesn't explain why they will cut her face so mercilessly to the point where the woman couldn't even see a thing on the way to the hospital. Rebecca had tried envisioning the image in her head over and over, but every time she attempts, each time she's closer to the well-rounded image, disgust forces her mind shut.

The doctor taking close to two hours to come out of the operating room proves something worse had happened and Rebecca can't wrap her head around why. If she were bold and courageous, she'd think someone purposely came into Colby's house to harm his mother which doesn't have the tiniest bit of sense. Apart from that, it would make things more confusing and complicated. It would make Colby's life complicated. Which is the last thing both of them can afford now in their lives.

It's easier to think and believe, thieves had broken into the house to steal and just got violent in the end. It's easier and much simpler for everyone. Rebecca fears what can happen if isn't so. 'Just when things were going so well. . . .'

"Okay, let's do this." She tries to make her voice sound hopeful but even that falls flat. The way Colby’s eyes suddenly snaps to her face doesn't help her racing heart. "Let's not broad on how or why all this came about. Let's just focus on your mother and her health. I wholeheartedly believe she's going to get better. Joe said it earlier; the doctors here at the best and even that friend of yours has promised to give your mother the best possible medical care. Your mother is strong, I'm sure of it. She'll pull through. We’ll find a way, Colby. Trust me."

The shake of his head is frantic, frenzied and disagreeable. "You didn't see her, Rebecca. I’m sorry but you didn't. If you did, you wouldn't be so optimistic. Forgive me if I'm not being as positive as you are but I can't help myself. Everything is wrong. All wrong."

Rebecca swallows thickly. Colby isn't accusing her. She's certain he didn't mean it that way. But the tone of his voice certainly feels like he is accusing her of not letting him wallow in his pain alone. Of giving him hopes where there's none. Of not understanding the true extent of the pain he's going through and in truth, Rebecca is quite aware she can never truly understand the extent of his agony.

Nobody had understood hers when her father died. Not her mother. Not Fergal. Not even Ashley. 'How can she understand his?'

She remembers how angry she was when people were giving her condolences at her father's funeral. How irritated she was when her friends from college kept telling her everything is going to be okay although deep down she knew it wouldn't. And the mere fact that all those guests and mourners thought they understood well enough to tell her the pain won't last forever made her blood boil. Colby must be feeling the same way; the same kind of anger and annoyance she felt that morning listening to all the sympathizers talk about something they don't know whole she held the pot of her father's ashes in both hands.

But he must know, somewhere amid his pain and irritation, Rebecca prays, he knows she's only being positive for his sake and in no way trying to make light of his predicament. "Perhaps, I'm not being helpful. I'm sorry."

Colby casts his gaze back to the tile floor as if he's afraid to look at her. As short as his glance was and despite the tensed awkwardness now in the air, Rebecca is just glad his stoic silence has finally broken at least. "It isn't your fault. I didn't mean it like that. You've to understand me, Becks I. . . . She was almost dead. Almost."

"But she isn't, Colby. Your mother at least has that. My father didn't." His eyes slowly trails its way back to look at her, wary and apologetic. Rebecca clasps his hand into her grasp the minute its grip melts away from the vise-like hold it had around the chair, squeezing gently, assuredly. "She isn't dead and as long as she's in that operating room with the doctors, she has a chance to survive. Your mother is going to be okay. She'll be fine."

He stares at her for a long while and this time he's really looking at her, seeking all the comfort and encouragement she has to give. "I'm so scared Rebecca," he chokes out, head bowing ever lower, tears spilling free. Rebecca's heart nearly breaks. "I'm scared I'm going to lose her. I can't lose my mother. Father is already gone. She's the only one I’ve now. The doctors are taking too long. Operations don't take this long, do they? What if she isn't okay? What if she's blind?"

Rebecca forces her tears back. It amazes her her voice doesn't quiver when she speaks. "Hey, don't say such things. We don't know that for sure. . . ."

"Her whole face was covered in blood," he hisses to her face, hands gesturing around wildly. Rebecca sees a small paper tainted with blood tucked inside the palm of his right hand but she doesn't inquire about it or ask why he has been clutching it tight in his fist for almost two hours. The situation is still too fragile. "They tortured her, I'm sure of it. Her whole face was cut in several places. She couldn't see me, Becks. She couldn't see anyone."

"Colby, relax." Joe chimes in, reminding them of his presence. "Listen to Rebecca. We don't know anything yet. We are still waiting for the doctor to come out with news and until then, we can't jump into conclusions. Let's wait and see what the doctor will say. Try to relax."

Colby only combs his fingers through his untied hair, forgetting the paper he has clutched in his right fist. It whips out of his hand to the tile flooring, settling down beside Rebecca's feet. Before she can even bend down to pick it up, Colby has already snatched it up into his fist once more, quickly tucking it inside the pocket of his pants.

Rebecca doesn't press when he shoots her a pained look, as if he regrets unintentionally making her feel bad but Rebecca just gives him a reassuring smile and a nod of dismissal. All the while, she wonders silently in her head just what is about the piece of paper that he can't even risk her having a glimpse at it. But then the drowsiness bounces back, forcing the thoughts down her throat. She shakes her head quickly to clear it out, shuts her eyes and takes in a long, noisy breath which Colby unfortunately hears.

"Are you alright?" His eyebrows knits together with double concern.

Rebecca pretends she doesn't have the faintest clue as to what he’s talking about. "Me? Why wouldn't I be?"

Colby  palms her neck to feel her temperature then does the same to her sweaty forehead before gently wiping beads of sweat from her skin. "You look pale and you're sweating. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Oh, yes. I usually sweat when I worry. I'm absolutely fine. Don't worry about me." It feels like lying to Jeff all over again. But with Jeff, she was sure even if he knew about her health condition he wouldn't leave her, that he would stay by her side only to be proven wrong and stupid in the end. With Colby she isn't certain. She desperately wish that wasn't the case but after what Jeff did to her, she can't trust Colby when it comes to that. Besides, things are much better when he doesn't know anything.

His gaze now scrutinises her over, causing Rebecca to regret ever wishing for his attention in the first place. "If you're tired, you can. . . ."

"Don't even think about," she glares at him. "I'm not leaving you here alone. Besides, I've sent the driver home so you're stuck with me for the rest of the night, whether you approve or not. Stop worrying about me. I should be at the very bottom of your priorities right now, okay?" He gives her a smile which doesn't reach his eyes. Rebecca takes it for what it's worth. "Good." Subtly, she lets her head fall down onto his shoulder, threading their fingers together and releasing a long sigh as they continue to wait.

Rebecca spots a woman coming out of the elevator ten minutes later which she immediately identifies as Pamela; the friend of Colby she'd seen leaving by the elevator when she arrived and of whom Joe had spoken of as the person who gratefully—along with the neighbour who found Colby's mother in a pool of blood and immediately called for the ambulance—provided a much needed first-aid assistance to Holly and prevented the worst from happening.

With her short black hair and a green dress Rebecca finds peculiarly familiar, she stands out amidst the hazy surroundings of the Emergency Department even with the face mask pulled down to her chin, the gloves she wears over her hands and the medical coat over her clothes. Her steps slow and Rebecca catches the utter surprise in her eyes when she sees her.
Rebecca frowns at the odd reaction. If she didn't know her name, she would’ve instantly thought she was Mercedes with the way Colby has gone completely still beside her and the weird looks the two of them are exchanging.

Pamela seems to catch herself seconds later of doing nothing more than staring at Rebecca whose head is still on Colby's shoulder. She diverts her attention to Colby's direction, pulling down her gloves one after the other. "Any news?"

“She's still in the operating room,” Joe replies, his gaze bouncing between the three of them. Rebecca stares at him hard in return, trying to pinpoint what exactly she's missing. "We are still awaiting more news. Does operations usually take this long?"

Rebecca can see Pamela struggling not to roll her eyes. Her tone is brisk with accusation when she replies, "Others usually take up to eight hours, Joe and you know it."

Joe chuckles, trying to make light of the situation and Pamela's scowl but Rebecca doesn't buy the act. "You're the doctor here, not me so I wouldn't know a thing, Pam." He checks his phone when he realize no one is smiling, sighing in dismay. "Sorry man," he tells Colby, "I left Jojo all alone at the house. She usually wakes up in the middle of the night and cries when she doesn't see me. I gotta go home. Gotta see to it she goes to school tomorrow also. Inform me of any updates."

Colby nods, "It's alright. Greet Jojo for me."

Joe rises up to his feet and strides past Rebecca to Colby, bending down on a knee before his friend. Rebecca lifts her head up from Colby's shoulder, watching the bigger man curiously. “It's going to be fine.” Joe's eyes are filled with something meaningful and deep when he says it. Perhaps a message? Rebecca frowns.

Colby's eyes are filled with some kind of understanding as he nods. "We'll figure something out. Don't worry too much." Making sure his friend understands whatever it is he means to convey to him and him alone, Joe straightens to his full height. He gives a quick, respectful nod to Rebecca. "Take care of him for me."

Rebecca smiles warmly. Under different circumstances, she would've definitely liked Joe instantly.  But with how things are, she barely noticed he was there. "I will."

Joe nods in appreciation and turns to hug Pamela before striding away. Pamela takes Joe's seat once he has left, Rebecca once again finding herself on the receiving end of some strange glances from the other woman. Mercifully, the doors of the operating room bursts open that very minute, driving Pamela's attention from her to the doctor flying out of the operating room. Colby and Rebecca immediately rush to their feet, quickly racing over to the doctor and bombarding him with multiple questions all at once.

The doctor raises his hands up as a sign for them to calm down before casting a worried look at Pamela, as if it's she whose mother he'd just operated on instead of Colby’s. Rebecca can already feel the impatience radiating out of Colby beside her and the doctor is seemingly taking his precious time getting down to serious business.

Rebecca's annoyance which no doubt, mirrors Colby's, dims when two nurses drives a stretcher, with Colby's mother on, from the operating room.

The stretcher halts beside Colby, the nurses thankfully granting him time to see his mother for one last time before they take her to a room. Rebecca feels pang of sorrow in her chest as she takes in the bandages covering the woman's entire face, the welts and bruises around her arms and legs and the utter sad, pathetic state she's in.

She looks like a ghost. As if she's just waiting to see her son for one last time before crossing over to the other world. Rebecca squeezes Colby's hand tighter, sobbing along with him. She'd hoped to see her father like this once a long time ago, to be able to see his face one last time before he'd died. But now watching Colby's mother, knowing the pain Colby is probably going through seeing his mother like this, Rebecca is glad she hadn't seen her father. She wouldn't have been able to handle it.

When the nurses are out of sight with the stretcher to a room, the doctor finally speaks. "The removal of the bullet was very successful. We were able to remove it in time to prevent further damage to her spine but I'm sorry to inform you she's still in critical state. She needs to be put under observation for forty eight hours."

"What about her face, Aaron," inquires Pamela, fright creeping into her expression. "She could hardly see a thing on the way to the hospital."

The doctor who was referred to as Aaron dismisses the fear of his colleague, smiling a little, looking quite exhausted. "Her eyes are fine. We just had to bandage her eyes as well as a means of precaution. Her face was severely damaged and cut in several places. We have to give the wounds time to heal. Once she's stable, after a few weeks of further observation, we'll remove the bandages and conduct more tests on her to see if there were other injuries we missed."

There's brief, aggrieved silence and flat sounds of Aaron removing his gloves before Colby breaks it by asking, "What will happen if she doesn't improve after the forty-eight hours period? Are you going to conduct more operations or. . . ."

"There's a solid chance she'll survive so don't lose hope, Colby." Aaron's voice is gentle and peculiarly inspiring. Rebecca can't decipher if it's fabricated or genuine. "If she doesn't improve in two day's time, we'll increase the medication we’re giving her and do everything humanly possible to get her health back on track. We'll do our very best. You can trust that I'll do everything possible for your mother to get better, Colby. She's in good hands."

Aaron’s passionate response alone tells Rebecca he considers Colby a good friend. Like the way Joe had spoken to Pamela and Pamela in return to Colby. They are all Colby's friends. Here to support him in the most difficult time in his life.

She's certain even Mercedes had once upon a time been a friend before she became Colby's girlfriend. Rebecca doesn't have the full details as to how things are between Colby and Mercedes now but a part of her sincerely believe there was no bad blood in end. If otherwise, Colby would've mentioned it at the Sports Club or talked about it at the party. If anything, she'd been able to gather both Mercedes and Colby blame themselves for the failure of their relationship. Colby, most especially.

As much as Rebecca doesn't want it to be, it isn't inconceivable to think that despite everything that has happened between them, they're still friends at least.

And she wonder, if it's in this very hospital, that she'll finally get to meet Mercedes in person for the very first time.

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Author's Note: Dedicated to kali95