Dear diary see for yourself (flashback)
:spinel yellow h-hi whaddya want
:yellow diamond blue wants to talk to you ok *lowers her hand and spinel hops onto it and on yellow's shoulder pad kicking her feet* she says that it's about your mental health issues and abandonment
:spinel (shocked) 'spinel was shocked she didn't want to talk about it cause they whould worry about her and abandon her like that traitor pink diamond' o-oh um ok... great.. *looks down* *they walk to blue's room there where sad wall things and a comb she was brushing her hair* hi blue! :blue diamond spinel yellow what are you two doing here?
:yellow diamond blue! *facepalm* -_-
:blue diamond oh um spinel dear are you ready to talk about it *spinel knew what "it" ment ot meant talking about what she has done she was shaking tears welling in her eyes feeling scared and sad that they might find out about her attack on earth* 
:spinel i-im ready *she looked at the tall diamonds then at her upside down heart gem she felt like crying* I- um W-well *explains what she did and the memories she had of pink diamond tears welling in her eyes so she shut them tight and puts her arms over her head scared that blue or yellow might hurt her by abandonment she clenched her head and turned around not facing them* *sniffs* *gulps*
:blue diamond spinel look at me Sweetie *she said looking at the poor gem still scared spinel turned around*
:spinel *sniffles* i-im sorry I just *sniffles*
:blue diamond yellow could you give us a moment *she said to her sister and she nodded and lefted* spinel why are you so afraid you know we aren't going to abandon you
:spinel i-i know it's just I didn't want you to worry but I did and I can't make friends anymore or remember what happiness I-is *wipes her tears away but more keep leaking out* that's why I'm scared cause I'm afraid that they might treat me differently and bully me cause of that that's why I always talk to the p-pebbles to take my mind off and let sadness c-cloud my mind *whimpers and cries* I'm s-sorry *blue hugs her* I'm so sorry blue I failed you just cause I cant make you happy *sniffs* sorry I've been actin' like a fool *sniffles* *wipes her tears away* ...I can try to make some friends *smiles a bit* heh... it's kinda weird and funny like a j-joke too think I wasn't good enough for pink but I'm not good at all or you or yellow or white *sobs and cries* s-sorry *stops crying and looks away jumping down* *sniffles* *walks to 'her room' and breaks down crying hard looking at herself in the mirror and rests her head on the desk crying her eyes out creating a puddle of her tears on the mirror desk sniffling* *sniffs* she might be angry at m-me *sniffles&Cries* she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates me she hates *keeps crying*