Season 2, Episode 21:  Funeral

Guest Star
* Jonathan Groff as Jesse St. James

Ownership of Glee:  FOX, Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk

= = =

Outfits

1. If I Ain't Got You

2. Pure Imagination

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Will gathers the New Directions in the choir room with Jesse next to him. "New Directions... I would like to introduce you to our new show choir consultant... Jesse St. James."

Finn looks doubtful. "I don't trust this guy. He's gonna trick us into doing something stupid so his alma mater wins."

Jesse smirks. "I don't need to do much tricking to get you to do something stupid, Finn."

Violet rolls her eyes. "No, because you're plenty stupid on your own Jesse."

Jesse just nods in agreement.

Will sighs. "Guys, Jesse is just a consultant. I still make all the calls. I have all the confidence in the world in you guys. I just think we could use all the help we can get because... this is it. We've been working so hard for two years for this moment, and that moment is finally here. I was talking with Jesse and he agreed we should continue with our successful trend of doing original songs for the competition. I was thinking of doing one group number and one duet."

Finn perks up. "Rachel and I should sing a duet. We killed it last year at regionals with 'Faithfully.'"

Santana scoffs. "Yeah. It killed us. We lost."

"May I?" Jesse asks.

Will nods. "Uh, yeah."

Jesse looks at New Directions. "I agree that Rachel should sing lead, but, Finn, I think it's best if you sit this one out. The fact is, most of the other guys in here are better singers... and Mike Chang, who can't even sing, can at least dance. You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop."

Finn starts screaming. "You see what I'm talking about? This guy's a jerk!"

Will looks at Jesse. "Maybe you could be a little gentler with your advice."

Jesse raises an eyebrow. "Gentle?"

Will nods. "Yes."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize we were training for the "Good Try" ribbon at nationals. I thought we were in it to win the whole thing, and there's only one way we can do that." Jesse explains.

"Poison darts?" Brittany offers.

Jesse shakes his head. "The Vocal Adrenaline strategy is simple. Identify your best performer and build the entire performance around them."

Mercedes looks at Jesse. "So what does everyone else do?"

"And who's our star performer?" Puck asks.

Will smiles. "We're gonna have auditions to find out. I'm gonna post a sign-up sheet later this afternoon."

"Mr Shue don't you think this is kinda not our style?" Finn asks.

"Normally I'd agree with you, but this is the big time. I think we should listen to Jesse." Will says.

Violet doesn't hesitate to sign up when the sign-up sheet goes up.

= = =

Finn talks to New Directions about Sue's sister, Jean, dying.

"We need to help her. She's overwhelmed, and she needs us to help her." Finn says.

Santana scoffs. "Seriously? I'd like to put the "fun" back in "funeral" just as much as the next girl. But why would the Glee Club help Coach Sylvester plan a service?"

"We're not doing it for Sue. We're doing it for her sister." Kurt says.

Finn nods. "Jean is just like us, guys. She's been an outsider and an underdog all of her life. We, of all people, should celebrate that."

"Can I say something? When someone dies, yes, it's a tragedy. But it's also a part of life, and you can't let death put your life on hold. Now, I don't mean to be blunt, but I don't think you should be planning a funeral...the same week you should be focusing on the set list for nationals." Jesse announces.

Violet looks incredulous at her friend. "Seriously? Y-You're serious?"

Jesse nods. "Actually, yes, I am. Do you know what Vocal Adrenaline is doing right now? They're in their third week of 24-hour-a-day rehearsals. They're on an I.V. drip. That's how hard they're working. Do you know what happens in Vocal Adrenaline if someone dies during a number? They use them as a prop, like Weekend at Bernie's."

Finn shakes his head. "No. Thanks for your input, Jesse, but we're helping Sue with the service for her sister. Rachel, you said I needed to be more of a leader of this club. Well, here goes. I'm making the call. We're doing this."

= = =

Santana walks onstage and talks into the microphone. "My name is Santana Lopez, and I will be singing Amy Winehouse's 'Back to Black.'"

Santana sings "Back to Black."

[Back to Black by Santana]

Will claps. "Fantastic, Santana."

"Thanks so much for coming in." Jesse says into the microphone.

Santana looks hurt. "That's all you have to say? You spent the entire performance scribbling notes."

"Well, if you really must know, I was simply writing down...that I don't think your performance went very deep into the emotional truth of the song." Jesse admits.

Santana is angry. "Oh. Is that so? Well, I happen to have some feedback for you."

Will decides to save a fight. "Thanks. That's all we'll need."

"I'm about to go all Lima Heights - " Santana's cut off by Will.

"Th-Thank you."

Santana leaves and Kurt arrives.

Kurt talks into the microphone. "Hello, I'm Kurt Hummel, and I'll be singing 'Some People' from Gypsy."

Violet's watching from the audience.

Will smiles. "Ah, great selection, Kurt. Hit it."

Kurt sings "Some People."

[Some People by Kurt]

Will is proud. "All right. Good job, buddy."

Jesse looks at Kurt. "Kurt, you do know... that song was meant to be sung by a woman, right?"

Kurt sighs. "Yes, I'm aware. The Glee Club dealt with that whole boys singing songs meant for girls."

"Oh." Jesse states.

Kurt nods. "It's kind of old news."

Jesse continues. "Then you must know that that song was done to great fanfare... by such Broadway legends as Merman, LuPone, Bernadette. Those are some awfully big heels to fill, and I'm just not quite sure that you nailed it."

Kurt leaves.

Violet follows him. "Kurt wait!"

= = =

Kurt walks into the choir room angrily. "Jesse St. James is totally Jesse St. Sucks. He said I shouldn't be singing girl songs. I make my living singing girl songs."

Violet rubs his back gently.

Rachel sighs. "I think the winner of four show choir championships might be able to give us all some valuable insight."

Mercedes rolls her eyes. "We know you're in love with him, Rachel, but do you have to be so obvious?"

"Don't use the fact that Jesse and I once had feelings for each other... as an excuse for my inevitable win." Rachel says.

"Correction. You had feelings for him. He made breakfast on your head." Violet reminds her.

Rachel looks at them. "Look, Jesse and I both appreciate the integrity of show choir too much... to soil the competition.He's just gonna vote for whoever is best."

Santana smirks. "That would be me. You guys can fight over who's second all you want, because I kicked that song square in the balls. I'm so gonna win this thing."

Mercedes stands up. "No bother warming up, Rachel. I'm about to go out there and wrap this thing up like a Christmas present."

= = =

Mercedes sings "Try A Little Tenderness."

[Try A Little Tenderness by Mercedes]

Will claps. "Whoo! Wow, Mercedes! Just - Wow! Seeing you up there brought me back to the first time you auditioned for Glee Club. You were great back then, but you were just amazing now. Thank you for singing that, and thank you for reminding me where we started. And where we're going to now: nationals."

Mercedes smiles as she talks into the microphone. "Thank you, Mr. Schue. I couldn't have done it without you."

"You're not a star. You're just a girl who can really sing." Jesse bluntly states.

Mercedes gets angry. "Ex-Excuse me?"

Jesse speaks into the microphone. "I don't think you want this badly enough, Mercedes. How many times did you practice that song?"

Mercedes scoffs. "Practice? No, I feel my material, and I sing with emotion. I'm in the moment, Mr. St. James. I don't need to practice."

Jesse gives her a look. "Actually, you do. And how long did you work on that choreography? Oh, wait. There was none. You're lazy, Mercedes."

Mercedes growls. "Not too lazy to come up there and let you taste my fist!"

"Whoever gets this solo is gonna have to work on it day and night. Do you think you're ready for that?" Jesse asks.

Will looks at Mercedes. "I do."

"I don't." Jesse states.

Mercedes grumbles as she leaves with the microphone.

"I hate him."

= = =

Violet meekly walks onstage. She can make out the silhouettes of Kurt, Mercedes and Santana in the audience.

"My name is Violet Corcoran, and I'll be auditioning with Alicia Keys's 'If I Ain't Got You.'" Violet says.

Jesse raises an eyebrow. "You think you can handle that song? It's a bit of a toughy."

Violet smirks. "I love a challenge, St. James."

Violet commandeers the stage with 'If I Ain't Got You.'

[If I Ain't Got You by Violet]

Jesse can't take any notes because he's thrown into shock by her talents.

Will is looking at her with pride. She's come so far in two years.

Mercedes and Santana don't even care if they lose to Violet; her talents are so pure and raw that you could cry from just one line she'd sing.

And Kurt? Kurt's crying from nothing but love. His love for Violet. She's his inspiration, his reason for living... she's his entire heart.

The song ends, and everyone stands up to cheer for Violet. Once the cheering dies down, Jesse looks at his friend.

"Did you sing that song to anyone in particular?" Jesse asks.

Violet nods. "Kurt Hummel. He's the love of my life, and I don't think I'd ever be able to do something like this if it wasn't for him. He's shaped me into a better person than I could ever hope to be."

Kurt's sobbing out of sheer happiness.

= = =

Rachel arrives.

"Hi. My name is Rachel Berry, and I'll be singing the most difficult song I've ever sung." Rachel introduces.

Jesse smiles. "Great. What song?"

"Barbra's closing number to my favorite movie, Funny Girl."

"Rachel, in your head, are you singing to anyone in particular?" Jesse asks.

Rachel shakes her head. "Not really."

Jesse nods. "Oh."

Rachel sings "My Man."

[My Man by Rachel]

Kurt looks impressed. "She may be difficult, but boy, can she sing." He says and stands up and claps. "Bravo!"

Violet stands up and claps too, before they're pulled down into their seats by Santana.

Jesse smiles. "I have to be honest. That was brilliant. I have nothing but the tip of my hat."

Santana is nothing but angry. "Garbage. This whole thing is rigged."

Will holds a hand up. "Hold on, Santana. Like I said before, I make the final call here."

Mercedes looks impatient. "Well, then make it."

Will stands up. "Out of respect to you all...I'm going to take a couple daysand consider all the results. Now, I will let you all know by Friday. Great job, everyone."

= = =

The New Directions are hosting Jean Sylvester's funeral. It's based off of her favorite movie, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

"Welcome to the most unusual funera that I have ever attended. Which makes sense, because Jean was the most unusual person that I ever had the pleasure to spend every Sunday for the last 30 years with. I think that Jean's sister Sue would like to say a few words." The priest says.

Sue stands up and walks to where he is to take his place. She's reading from a paper. "I miss my sister. Every night, at 10:00 or so she used to call me on the phone and when I asked her why... she'd tell me that her body told her...she wanted to hear my voice." Sue can't finish because she breaks down crying.

Violet sheds a few tears, and Kurt rubs her back gently.

Will stands up and goes to Sue. He grabs the paper. "I'll read it." He tells Sue and begins reading from the paper. "I miss my sister...the smell of her shampoo...the way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love someone like I loved her...they're a part of you. It's like you're attached by this invisible tether, and no matter how far away you are...you can always feel them. And now, every time I reach for that tether I know there's no one on the other end, and I feel like I'm falling into nothingness. Then I remember Jean. I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I'm inspired... to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much. It feels like a piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Ten more seconds. Is that too much to ask? For 10 more seconds to hold her? But I can't...and I won't...and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness... is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now...I'm just gonna miss her. I love you, Jeanie. Rest in peace."

The New Directions get up and prepare to sing.

"This was Jean's favorite song." Finn says.

Tina nods. "Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three."

New Directions sings "Pure Imagination."

[Pure Imagination by New Directions]

Sue whispers to Kurt. "Thank you."

= = =

Santana looks at the list, shocked. "This doesn't make any sense."

Finn shrugs. "Guys, it was a tough decision, but it's for the good of the club."

Rachel looks at everyone. "Although this is deeply personal, try not to take it personally."

Kurt looks at Rachel. "Um, you guys might want to read what the list says."

Rachel looks confused. "What? Wh-Why?" She asks. She reads the list wich says "Urgent meeting today. Choir Room 3:30."

= = =

Santana sighs in relief when she sees Will walk into the choir room. "Oh, Mr. Schue, thank God you're here to put these trolls out of their misery. Can you just announce my win so that I can get on with teasing the losers?"

Kurt rolls his eyes. "I heard your performance, Santana. This is mine, and you know it."

Will looks at Jesse. "See, Jesse? This is the kind of infighting and "me first" attitudes I wanted to avoid."

Jesse smirks. "What you call infighting, I call motivation. And this is just the beginning. Once we get to nationals, I'll have them willing to kill each other for that solo."

Will shakes his head. "No. I've changed my mind. We're going back to what got us here - original songs sung by the entire club. We're a team, and we're best when we work as one."

Jesse frowns. "You're going to lose."

Will shrugs. "Whatever we do, we're gonna do it together."

Kurt whispers to Santana. "Actually, Santana, you sounded pretty good."

Santana smiles. "Thanks. You guys were all pretty dope too. Even Rachel."

Rachel smiles. "I wish I could sound like you do, Santana. How do you get that raspiness?"

"So nice. I smoke cigars." Santana reveals.

Will smiles. "All right guys. It's time to get to work. I want two hit songs by the time the wheels touch down at JFK. Come on." He says.

= = =

Kurt and Violet come home and decide to go cuddle in Violet's room.

Kurt looks deep in thought, and Violet takes notice. "Hey. You okay? You look like you're thinking over your entire life over there." Violet says, breaking Kurt out of his daze.

Kurt smiles and kisses her head. "I'm fine. I'm just... thinking about what you said yesterday. Did you really mean what you said? That I'm the love of your life and that I've shaped you into the person you are now?"

Violet smiles. "I meant every word. You truly have opened me up, Kurt. You've shaped me into the girl I am now. Your friendship and your love — it's something I never really knew I needed until I had it. People take love for granted, but I'll never take you for granted. You're everything to me, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, and I love you."

Kurt smiles and kisses her. Violet kisses back, and they break away in time for Violet to see Kurt's tears. "Hey, why're you crying? Don't cry baby." She says.

Kurt smiles. "I'm crying because what you said was beautiful. Violet... you are so special and so loved. I hope you know that. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy and to keep you happy. I'll spend my whole life making you happy."

Violet smiles softly. "I'll hold you to that." She says.

Kurt smiles as she snuggles back into his arms. In that moment in time, he makes a decision.

When Violet's a senior in high school, he's going to ask for her hand in marriage.

= = =

2886 words

Songs Mentioned/Performed
1. Back to Black - Santana
2. Some People - Kurt
3. Try A Little Tenderness - Mercedes
4. If I Ain't Got You - Violet
5. My Man - Rachel
6. Pure Imagination - New Directions

This was so sweet and sad at the same time.

Next update:  New York

NEXT UPDATE IS THE SEASON 2 FINALE! After that is the season 3 cast, and the premiere of season 3.