Chapter 56: The Fear

I awakened early, having tossed and turned without Harry's arms around me as I slept. But I was happy that he'd been reunited with his mother. What a wonderful and strange thing to happen for him. After everything he had lost and missed out on, he was able to have one significant part of his life restored.
I wondered how this would change Theodore's case. Anne was a substantial piece of the puzzle and I couldn't imagine a way that Theodore could escape the evidence she provided, but I knew for sure he would try anything to twist things to his advantage.
I got up, showered and got ready for the day, waiting until it wasn't too early to go and wake Harry up. I started a pot of coffee brewing and sat at the bar in the kitchenette until it was ready. As I poured a steaming cup, I wished I could see the look on Theodore's face when he found out about Anne's return.
I wanted to watch him squirm and suffer while he tried to figure out what to say next. I wanted to see him sweat and have the judge and jurors ridicule him as his elaborate story fell flat. (Yes, I knew that wouldn't happen in real life, but it was fun to imagine.) I wanted to see him handcuffed and have his face shoved into the ground as he cried for mercy.
"Jules!" Dad's resounding voice snapped me out of my spiteful daydream.
"Hmm?" I looked at him absent-mindedly.
"I said your name three times," he told me.
"Sorry," I said. "I didn't sleep very well, I guess."
He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a seat beside me. "There sure as hell is a lot to think about, isn't there?"
"Yeah," I shook my head. "But Harry's mom...who could have seen that coming?" I said in amazement.
"No kidding," he agreed, his eyes wide with wonder. "Happy for them, but what a terrible thing to happen to their family." He took a sip. "And you, of course. I'm so sorry for what happened to you."
"You couldn't have done anything to stop it, Dad."
"I could have told you not to go in the first place!" He snapped but I knew his anger wasn't directed at me.
"Did you think there was something suspicious about the job? Did you have a feeling I shouldn't have come?"
"No, nothing like that," he said. "I just wish I could have protected you."
"But then I would never have met Harry and I couldn't have helped him escape." I looked at my dad and wanted him to understand. "I know he's going to have a lot to work through, but I love Harry, Daddy. I've never loved anyone like I love him."
"I know, sweetie," he said, hugging my shoulder.
"And it's crazy because I've never felt love like this before and at the same time, I've never hated anyone as much as I hate Theodore."
"Understandable," Dad said. "I'd put a slug in his head if I had the chance." I had never heard him speak about committing an act of violence before but I resonated with him.
"I just want him to suffer," I said, breaking into a sob. "I want him to hurt as much as he hurt Harry and as much as he hurt me, but there's still something deep inside me that knows that I can't handle it that way. I can't let myself be dragged into that level of anger and hatred, you know?"
"Just take it easy on yourself," Dad suggested. "It's normal to be angry because he has hurt so many people. You know it probably wouldn't hurt you to talk to a psychiatrist or a counselor, too."
"Yeah," I sighed. "The ER staff referred us to someone. I need to get Harry some help before myself, though. His whole life has been ruined by that bastard!" I looked at my dad as I swore; I hadn't really spoken like that in front of him before.
"It's all right," he chuckled. "He is a bastard."
I nodded, wiping the tears from my face. "I'm going to go and see if Harry is awake yet," I told him. I grabbed a room key and took the elevator down to the second floor, where Harry and his mom were staying. I knocked quietly at first. I knew Anne had traveled a long way and she was undoubtedly exhausted. But I missed Harry already and wanted to see him.
They didn't answer right away and I knocked harder. There was still no answer. I was surprised I hadn't awakened Harry yet. I didn't know which room Clive was in or I would have checked his room. I knocked louder and harder, suddenly not caring if I was disturbing anyone. Panic was welling up inside me and I started yelling, "Harry! Harry are you awake? Come on, baby, open up!"
Oh my god, Theodore had him, I knew it! How did he get here? He must have escaped from the hospital and came here to deal with the problem of Anne's return and Harry just happened to be there, too.
I raced up the stairs towards my room, not wanting to waste time waiting for the elevator. As soon as I got to our floor, I started yelling, "Dad! Mom! Call the police! Someone help!" I reached our door and started to slide the card in and the door swung open in anticipation.
"Harry!" I gasped, seeing him standing there with Anne. "Where...? What? I thought something happened...."
He pulled me into a tight embrace. "I'm okay, Baby. Mum and I were just going to go and get some breakfast."
"I'm so stupid," I said, now laughing at myself. "I thought maybe...I went to your room and you didn't answer the door." I started crying again, but I kept laughing, too. I really did feel stupid. Finally I said, "He's not even out of the hospital yet and I'm already a wreck."
Harry just hugged me more tightly and shushed me. "It's okay. I'm okay." He placed a small kiss to my temple
I finally released myself from his grasp and said, "I'm sorry for yelling down the hall. I hope I didn't wake anyone up." Then I gave Anne a hug and asked how she was feeling.
"I'm doing all right," she answered. "Certainly a bit tired, but I couldn't be happier to be here with Harry, and with all of you, of course."
Mom was awake and dressed by then, so we just had to collect Clive and we all went out for breakfast. We tried to keep our discussions light as we really didn't want to be talking about the case against Theodore while we were out in public. But when we returned to the hotel room, curiosity got the better of me.
"Clive, when you say that you were brainwashed by Theodore, what do you mean?" I wondered. It had been on my mind a lot since it seemed numerous people had fallen to Theodore's influence.
He sat down across from me and sipped at a cup of coffee. We had made a fresh pot upon returning since it seems that everyone was in a chronic state of fog and fatigue. He shrugged and said, "I can't explain it. He's a fuckin' genius." Clive glanced around and said, "Sorry. He is brilliant, though, but he obviously used that to his advantage. And he knows how to play people. He just has this way of making it seem like you're both on the same side."
I had experienced that when we were in Calgary so I knew what Clive was talking about. But it was short-lived. I wondered how Clive had managed to look the other way for so many years. "So, you knew that Harry wasn't Theodore's son, of course."
"Right," he said. "Theodore was named Harry's legal guardian after William died and it was believed that Anne had died as well." He nodded towards Anne for her corroboration.
"Yes, we had named Theodore as the guardian if anything happened to both of us," Anne said. "Since he was plenty old enough to take care of Harry."
"Why are you asking these questions?" Dad asked me.
"I'm sorry," I said to Clive. "I'm not trying to make things difficult for you or to say I don't believe you. I just wonder about how all of this went unnoticed for so many years."
"Jules, it sounds to me like you're accusing the man of something," Dad said and I shook my head.
"No, no," Clive said. "She has a point. Let me explain. I explained to Anne as well as she had the same questions. Why didn't I notice the inconsistencies before now?" He took another sip of coffee. "Well, the truth is that I owed a debt to Theodore. Not necessarily a financial debt, but I had a certain loyalty to him, I guess you could say." He looked at me and continued, "You asked if I'd ever been married when we had dinner in Vancouver. Well, I didn't tell you the whole truth because it's not something I like to talk much about. I was indeed married for a time, a while back. I started working for William about two years before Harry was born. Samantha and I lived in the servants' quarters and it worked out well that our rent was covered because she was going to nursing school at the time. Right around the time of the accident, she was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer so our lives were turned upside down at the same time the Blakes' lives were. I functioned from day to day - I did my job and drove people to where they had to go - but I didn't absorb much else as my mind was always consumed with Sam and her health. Our financial resources were drained, as well as our physical and emotional resources. It was all I could do to just keep going from day to day."
He stopped and swept his hands over his face, taking a few moments to resume the story. "Even with our insurance, the medical bills were piling up. One day, Theodore came to me and said he would cover Sam's medical expenses, whatever kind of treatment she needed, no matter the cost and no questions asked. At the time, I received it as a very gracious and compassionate move on Theodore's part, especially so soon after losing his own father and Anne." Clive took a deep breath and sighed, "What I realized years later was that he was basically buying my loyalty. I lost Samantha in 1999. But I was still overwhelmingly grateful for Theodore's help. I was consumed with grief for the next several years and when I finally emerged from that dense fog, all I knew was that Harry was a young boy who had been diagnosed with special needs. It took me a long time to realize what an evil man Theodore truly was."
"I'm so sorry for your loss," I said reverently. "I...I really didn't mean to insinuate that you were helping him cover up anything."
"Don't worry about that," Clive said. "As I became more aware of what Theodore was doing and all the things that continued to happen without explanation, I began to make choices to just turn the other way. If he was involved in something immoral or dishonest, I just would rather not know about it. I didn't know the extent to which he was lying about Harry and neglecting...him."
At this, Clive buried his face in his hands and began to sob. Through gasping breaths, he said, "I did...didn't know Harry had been so p...poorly treated." He gasped again. "Abused." And he cried harder, receiving comfort from Anne who sat nearby, and my father, who placed a comforting hand on his back.
Finally, when he'd regained his composure and availed himself of some Kleenex, he finished his story. "I'd been employed by his family for years at that point, my wife was gone, and I made a hell of a lot of money. It was more a decision of self-preservation than anything. I didn't have anywhere else to go and my job was easy enough, just drive. But you have to know that I am very sorry I didn't act sooner." He was on the verge of crying again when he whispered, "I'm so, so sorry." He finally turned towards Anne once again. "And I truly didn't figure out you were alive until just a few weeks ago."
"I'm so glad you came to England to find me," she said graciously. "Now no more apologies. The past is in the past."
"Of course, Clive," I assured him. "Harry and I are both very grateful for what you risked to save us, and to bring Harry and Anne back together.
He excused himself and I went back to Anne's suite with her and Harry for a bit. They spent the rest of the day catching up. She had brought pictures from his first two years, before the crash, and she told him a bit about their life together until then. Harry invited me to stay but after a while, I felt I should just let them get reacquainted. Besides, I knew it wasn't the last time she would be showing Harry's baby pictures around. And I knew I'd be getting to know Anne quite well in the coming days.
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