"You are a bloody fool who never knew when to leave well enough alone! And another thing - "

Niev stifled a yawn behind his hand. He was seated on the floor below the telephone. The speaker setting hadn't even been turned on, but he could still hear everything perfectly. Above him, his oldest and most opinionated friend roared verbal abuse, utter disbelief at his general ineptitude as a creature.

It happened pretty regularly. As soon as the yelling had started, Niev had settled in with a snack and waited for it to die down. He had even gotten some quiet TV-watching in before he grew tired of trying to keep track of what was being said in the show and what was being screamed at him from above.

Finally, the voice began to grow quiet, either hoarse with overuse or simply running out of things to say.

"Are you done?" Niev asked calmly.

A disgruntled, "...yes," came back to him.

"So how've you been? How're the kids?"

"Quell the sarcasm and I'll consider this suicide mission."

"Aw, come on, now. I believe in us!"

"You believe in the shining stacks of money at the end of the horizon."

"Now, now, Adelifa. They don't mint money anymore, you know that. How can digital coins gleam?"

"Insufferable wrench."

"Thanks, darling. So are you in or not?"

"Why would I involve myself in such a terrible, morally unhinged mission?"

"Because you've taken plenty of missions like it in the past. Because you're broke and supporting an entire family back on your home planet. Because you know you can trust me and the other guys to get us through this. Because, frankly, you want the thrill."

The silence between them stretched out until Niev began to worry if he'd actually upset his friend. "Adelifa?"

"I'm in," she muttered. "Tell me when you have arrived. I will be ready to leave."

"Thank you," he replied quietly, ending the call.

That was it, then. They were going to Apoxia III.

*

He picked up Adron first, if only because of sheer proximity. It only took him a few hours traveling at maximum speed to reach the robot's home of origin and servitude, Venia.

Niev called down as he started his descent. "Hey. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Finally. I've left my helper bot with strict instructions and a recording of enough of my talk to get him through the next few weeks. And so what if she does find out? She'd just send me to the junkyard, where I'm sure you'd swoop in and save the day."

"Of course." Niev grinned.

He often wondered why Adron didn't just show off his malfunctioning emotion chip, demonstrate his higher level of autonomy and decision-making ability to his owners. No prissy rich kid would want a self-sufficient robot as a slave, after all. They'd get rid of him faster than he could finish talking, and then he'd be truly free.

Part of him wondered if Adron preferred his life like this. If the robot secretly enjoyed this life of lies and trickery. After all, for most of the time, he got a safe place to live, a comfortable home of luxury. But then sometimes, when things began to get boring, he got to leave and go on fantastic adventures, make enough money to feel less like a slave and more like a free bot.

That was all just a theory, of course. And Niev would have never dared approach the robot to ask. It wasn't any of his business. Well, not much of his business, anyway.

"It's been too long," Niev said, grinning as he held out his hand for a high-five rather than a hug. The movement took a little while as it was - Adron's arms, as well as most of his mobility, was mostly for show. Most of his work was done when he was hooked up to a database of some sort via several ports in his side that could only be opened with the owner's code - which everyone aboard Niev's ship happened to possess.

"I'm very excited," Adron told him, that familiar tinny quality entering his voice. It happened whenever the emotion chip worked too hard - whatever had gone wrong in the factory, it came with its fair share of glitches and malfunctions. Never stopped Adron from being the best hacker around, though.

"Me, too. You're the first one I've picked up. Thought we'd grab Adelifa next. She's around these parts."

"Fighting for money, no doubt."

"We all have our side gigs for money. You take phone calls for a teenage girl, I fix spaceships, Arkin sleeps with important businessmen, and Adelifa bashes in the brains of dumb mercs in front of an eager crowd."

"I guess we've all got our quirks."

Niev laughed as he settled into the pilot's seat of the aircraft and Adron began plugging into the mainframe. He would live in this small cockpit until their mission was over or movement was required.

*

Niev gasped for breath as Adelifa lifted him into a hug. His feet kicked at ground that was no longer there, eyes watering as his ribcage constricted under the woman's powerful grip.

"I apologize for chastising you via phone," Adelifa told him, her formal way of speaking forcing him to hide a smile. "I was merely worried that we were all going to painfully perish."

"We might," Niev admitted cheerily, clapping her on the back and trying to downplay his desperate need for air. "Well, not as long as you're watching our backs."

"I shall not be watching your backs. I shall be leading the charge!" Adelifa proclaimed proudly as they entered the spaceship.

"No charging this time, I'm afraid. Just stealthy human pickup."

"Human pickup?" Adron asked curiously, then greeting Adelifa.

"I thought it sounded better than kidnapping."

"I thought you didn't take a job if you didn't morally agree with it. I thought we agreed on that after - "

"Yeah, yeah, after we accidentally almost killed everyone on a small moon. I remember. That was really just a guideline, anyway. Being morally conscious - "

" - doesn't pay my Dyson bill," his friends monotoned in unison. Niev just snorted and shook his head as they chuckled, starting up the spaceship.

"I'm excited for Arkin to be back with us. He's much nicer than you two."