XVII. Choice.

"I lived in a different world than you do, Ana. My human world was a much simpler place. It was nineteen thirty-three. I was eighteen, and I was beautiful. My life was perfect." Rosalie started softly, a small smile tugging at her lips. "My parents were thoroughly middle class. My father had a stable job in a bank, something I realize now that he was smug about. He saw his prosperity as a reward for talent and hard work, rather than acknowledging the luck involved in these things. I took it all for granted then; in my home, it was as if the Great Depression was only a troublesome rumor. Of course, I saw the poor people, the ones who weren't as lucky. My father left me with the impression that they'd brought their troubles on themselves."

I quietly stared at her as I listened attentively, trying to imagine a young, human, Rosalie, same as she is now. Sometimes it still felt strange to imagine the Cullen's in years long since gone by, same as they are before me. Living different lives.

"It was my mother's job to keep our house, myself and my two younger brothers in spotless order. It was clear that I was both her first priority and her favorite. I didn't fully understand at the time, but I was always vaguely aware that my parents weren't satisfied with what they had, even if it was so much more than most. They wanted more. They had social aspirations-social climbers, I suppose you could call them. My beauty was like a gift to them. They saw so much more potential in it than I did. They weren't satisfied, but I was. I was thrilled to be me, to be Rosalie Hale. Pleased that men's eyes watched me everywhere I went, from the year I turned twelve. Delighted that my girlfriends sighed with envy when they touched my hair. Happy that my mother was proud of me and that my father liked to buy me pretty dresses."

I could now slightly understand where Rosalie's vanity stemmed from. It was the way she was raised. It was from the house she was brought up in. And even after many years have passed, she still carries those values with her.

"I knew what I wanted out of life, and the didn't seem to be any way that I wouldn't get exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be loved, to be adored. I wanted to have a huge, flowery wedding, where everyone in town would watch me walk down the aisle on my father's arm and think I was the most beautiful thing they'd ever seen. Admiration was like air to me, Ana. I was silly and shallow, but I was content. My parents' influence had been such that I also wanted the material things of life. I wanted a big house with elegant furnishings that someone else would clean and a modern kitchen that someone else would cook in. As I said, shallow. Young and very shallow. And I didn't see any reason why I wouldn't get these things. There were a few things I wanted that were more meaningful. One thing in particular. My very closest friend was a girl named Vera. She married young, just seventeen. She married a man my parents would never have considered for me. A carpenter. A year later she had a son, a beautiful little boy with dimples and curly black hair. It was the first time I'd ever felt truly jealous of anyone else in my entire life. The one time I wanted something someone else had."

"A baby." I said softly as I gave her a sad smile when she nodded her head in confirmation. Before meeting Edward, before deciding the path I wanted to take with him, that was something I wanted too one day. Unlike Rosalie, my wants and needs weren't so great and I was willing to give up what she'd kill to have.

"It was a different time. I was the same age as you, but I was ready for it all. I yearned for my own little baby. I wanted my own house and a husband who would kiss me when he got home from work. Just like Vera. Only I had a very different kind of house in mind." She went on as she smiled softly for a second, no doubt taking herself back to those dreams, imagining what it could be like.

"In Rochester, there was one royal family, the Kings ironically enough. Royce King owned the bank my father worked at, and nearly every other really profitable business in town. That's how his son, Royce King the Second- saw me for the first time. He was going to take over the bank, and so he began overseeing the different potions. Two days later, my mother conveniently forgot to send my father's lunch to work with him. I remember being confused when she insisted that I wear my white Organa and roll my hair up just to run over to the bank."

I watched as Rosalie's smile became strained and my eyebrows furrowed a little. I knew somewhat of how Rosalie's story went. I knew how it ended and now I felt unsure of wanting to hear more. But I remained quiet and I listened.

"I didn't notice Royce watching me particularly. Everyone watched me. But that night the first of the roses came. Every night of our courtship, he sent a bouquet of roses to me. My room was always overflowing with them. It got to the point that I would smell like roses when I left the house. "Royce was handsome, too. He had lighter hair than I did, and pale blue eyes. He said my eyes were like violets, and then those started showing up alongside the roses. My parents approved, that's putting it mildly. This was everything they'd dreamed of. And Royce seemed to be everything I'd dreamed of. The fairy tale prince, come to make me a princess. Everything I wanted, yet it was still no more than I expected. We were engaged before I'd known him for two months. We didn't spend a great deal of time alone with each other. Royce told me he had many responsibilities at work and, when we were together, he liked people to look at us, to see me on his arm. I liked that too. There were lots of parties, dancing, and pretty dresses. When you were a King. every door was open for you, every red carpet rolled out to greet you. It wasn't a long engagement. Plans went ahead for the lavish wedding. It was going to be everything I'd ever wanted. I was completely happy. When I called at Vera's, I no longer felt jealous. I pictured my fair-haired children playing on the huge lawns of the Kings' estate."

"I was at Vera's that night," She spoke softly as her eyes returned to her lap and I inhaled softly, knowing she meant her last night as human. The night she died. "Her little Henry really was adorable, all smiles and dimples he was just sitting up on his own. Vera walked me to the door as I was leaving, her baby in her arms and her husband at her side, his arm around her waist. He kissed her on the cheek when he thought I wasn't looking. That bothered me. When Royce kissed me, it wasn't quite the same, not so sweet somehow ...I shoved that thought aside. Royce was my prince. Someday, I would be queen." She said as she let out a bitter chuckle, shaking her head before she continued. "It was dark in the streets, the lamps already on. I hadn't realized how late it was. It was cold, too. Very cold for late April. The wedding was only a week away, and I was worrying about the weather as I hurried home, I can remember that clearly."

"I remember every detail about that night. I clung to it hard... in the beginning. I thought of nothing else. And so I remember this, when so many pleasant memories have faded away completely." She explained and my heart ached. I couldn't imagine your only memory being the worst one you have lived through. "Yes, I worrying about the weather... I didn't want to have to move the wedding indoors... " She added softly.

"I was a few streets from my house when I heard them. A cluster of men under a broken streetlamp, laughing too loud. Drunk. I wished I'd called my father to escort me home, but the way was so short. it seemed silly. And then he called my name. Rose! he yelled, and the others laughed stupidly. I hadn't realized the drunks were so well-dressed. It was Royce and some of his friends, sons of other rich men." She went on. She was silent for a second, her jaw clenching before she went on. "Here's my Rose! Royce shouted, laughing with them, sounding just as stupid, You're late. We're cold, you've kept us waiting so long."

Rosalie met my gaze again, her eyes cold. "I'd never seen him drink before. He'd told me he didn't like champagne. I hadn't realized that he preferred something much stronger." She said as she slowly shook her head. "He had a new friend-the friend of a friend, come up from Atlanta." She added. "What did I tell you, John? Royce crowed, grabbing my arm and pulling me closer. 'Isn't she lovelier than all your Georgia peaches?" She finished with a soft scoff. "The man named John was dark-haired and suntanned. He looked me over like I was a horse he was buying. It's hard to tell, he drawled slowly, 'She's all covered up."

I knew where Rosalie's story was heading, but it still pained me to hear. So many details. All of them she still remembered. I couldn't imagine living with that. I somewhat remember that night Edward saved me from the men in the alley. I hoped a hundred years from now I wouldn't anymore.

"They laughed, Royce like the rest." Rosalie went on. "Suddenly, Royce tipped my jacket from my shoulders, it was a gift from him, popping the brass buttons off. They scattered all over the street. Show him what you look like, Rose! He laughed again and then he tore my hat out of my hair. The pins wrenched my hair from the roots, and I cried out in pain. They seemed to enjoy the sound of my pain." She went on and I looked down at my lap as I let out a shaky breath. Rosalie's gaze flicked towards me. "I won't make you listen to the rest." She said softly as she shook her head.

I looked at Rosalie, slowly shaking my head. "It's okay." I assured her softly.

Rosalie silently stared at me for a second longer before nodding. "They left me in the street, still laughing as they stumbled away. They thought I was dead. They were teasing Royce that he would have to find a new bride. He laughed and said he'd have to learn some patience first." She went on, skipping the cruel and heart-wrenching details for both our sakes. "I waited on the road to die. It was cold, though there was so much pain that I was surprised it bothered me. It started to snow, and I wondered why I wasn't dying. I was impatient for death to come, to end the pain. It was taking so long."

She went silent for a second again, blanking staring at me, her eyes not focused on me though. It was like she was in a trance, reliving her wretched memories. "Carlisle found me then. He'd smelled the blood, and come to investigate. I remember being vaguely irritated as he worked over me, trying to save my life. I'd never liked Dr. Cullen or his wife and her brother, as Edward pretended to be then. It had upset me that they were all more beautiful than I was, especially that the men were. But they didn't mingle in society, so I'd only seen them once or twice."

"I thought I'd died when he pulled me from the ground and ran with me because of the speed, it felt like I was flying. I remember being horrified that the pain didn't stop. Then I was in a bright room, and it was warm. I was slipping away, and I was grateful as the pain began to dull. But suddenly something sharp was cutting me, my throat, my wrist, my ankle. I screamed in shock, thinking he'd brought me there to hurt me more." She explained and I felt another ache in my heart. I couldn't imagine the fear and pain she must have felt.

"Then fire started burning through me, and I didn't care about anything else. I begged him to kill me. When Esme and Edward returned home, I begged them to kill me, too. Carlisle sat with me. He held my hand and said that he was so sorry, promising that it would end. He told me everything, and sometimes I listened. He told me what he was, what I was becoming. I didn't believe him. He apologized each time I screamed."

"Edward wasn't happy. I remember hearing them discussing me. I stopped screaming sometimes. I didn't like the way he said my name, like there was something wrong with me." She went on and I realized their partial dislike for one another came from a long time ago. It didn't start with me. "I couldn't just let her die, Carlisle said quietly. It was too much too horrible, too much waste." She went on. "I know, Edward said, and I thought he sounded dismissive. It angered me. I didn't know then that he really could see exactly what Carlisle had seen." She explained. "It was too much waste. I couldn't leave her, Carlisle repeated in a whisper. Of course you couldn't, Esme agreed."

"People die all the time, Edward reminded him in a hard voice. Don't you think she's just a little recognizable, though? The Kings will have to put up a huge search, not that anyone suspects the fiend,' he growled. It pleased me that they seemed to know that Royce was guilty." She went on and I frowned a little. I hoped Royce King got what was coming to him. "I didn't realize that it was almost over, that I was getting stronger and that was why I was able to concentrate on what they were saying. The pain was beginning to fade from my fingertips." She said as she looked down at her milky smooth hands.

"What are we going to do with her? Edward said disgustedly, that's how it sounded to me, at least. Carlisle sighed. That's up to her, of course. She may want to go her own way." She went on. "I'd believed enough of what he'd told me that his words terrified me. I knew that my life had ended, and there was no going back for me. I couldn't stand the thought of being alone... The pain finally ended and they explained to me again what I was. This time I believed. I felt the thirst, my hard skin, I saw my brilliant red eyes." She said and a small smile tugged at her lips again. "Shallow as I was, I felt better when I saw my reflection in the mirror the first time. Despite the eyes, I was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. It took some time before I began to blame the beauty for what had happened to me for me, to see the curse of it. To wish that I had been... well, not ugly, but normal. Like Vera. So I could have been allowed to marry someone who loved me, and have pretty babies. That's what I'd really wanted, all along. It still doesn't seem like too much to have asked for."

"I can understand that." I said softly as I nodded my head and Rosalie looked at me curiously. "I do understand." I said and she slowly nodded her head.

"You know, my record is almost as clean as Carlisle's," She told me, sounding proud of herself as she smiled and I returned her smile. "Better than Esme. A thousand times better than Edward. I've never tasted human blood," She said before shrugging her shoulders. "I did murder five humans,"

"You did?" I asked softly as I raised my eyebrows.

"I went after all of them."She told me and I immediately understood who she meant, the men who harmed her. "I was careful not to spill their blood. I knew I wouldn't be able to resist that, and I didn't want any part of them in me you see." She explained and I nodded in understanding. "I saved Royce for last. I hoped that he would hear of his friends deaths and understand, know what was coming for him. I hoped the fear would make the end worse for him. I think it worked. He was hiding inside a windowless room behind a door as thick as a bank vault's, guarded outside by armed men, when I caught up with him." She explained before chuckling lowly. "Oops seven murders," She corrected herself. "I forgot about his guards. They only took a second." She said as she shrugged again. "I was overly theatrical. It was kind of childish, really, I wore a wedding dress I'd stolen for the occasion. He screamed when he saw me. He screamed a lot that night. Saving him for last was a good idea-it made it easier for me to control myself, to make it slower" She said as I stared at her unblinkingly. She looked at me. "I'm sorry, I'm frightening you, aren't I?"

"No." I replied softly as I shook my head. "I think they deserved that." I admitted as I nodded my head. "I'm fine." I assured her softly.

"I got carried away." She explained as she gave me a small smile.

"Don't worry about it." I replied as I shook my head again, returning her small smile.

"I'm surprised Edward didn't tell you more about it." She admitted as she shifted where she sat, her head slightly tilting to the side,

"He doesn't like to tell other people's stories, he feels like he's betraying confidences, because he hears so much more than just the parts they mean for him to hear." I explained as I pursed my lips and shrugged my shoulders.

"I probably ought to give him more credit. He's really quite decent, isn't he?" She said softly as the smallest smile tugged at her lips again.

My smile grew a little as I let out a soft chuckle. "I think so." I replied as I nodded my head.

"I can tell." She replied with a soft laugh as she nodded her head. It felt like a shock almost, seeing Rosalie so carefree and friendly around me. She silently stared at me for a second before reaching her cold hand out and giving my warm one a brief squeeze. "I haven't been fair to you, either, Ana. Did he tell you why? Or was that too confidential?"

"Because I'm human." I replied softly as I pursed my lips. "Because I want to give that part of me up." I added softly.

"Don't you see, Ana?" She asked softly as her eyebrows furrowed. "You already have everything. You have a whole life ahead of you, everything I want. And you're going to just throw it away. Can't you see that I'd trade everything I have to be you? You have the choice that I didn't have, and you're choosing wrong!".She said as her voice grew a little heated and she sighed as she looked away. "And I was so sure that I could do this calmly."

I silently stared at her for a second. "You love Emmett?" I asked her softly.

Rosalie looked back at me, her eyebrows furrowing once again. "With all my heart." She replied as she nodded her head.

"What wouldn't you do for him?" I asked her as I raised my eyebrows and Rosalie looked down at her lap, looking like she was starting to realize now. "You're right, I have a choice, and I have a right to make the one I want." I told her softly. "And my choice is Edward." I insisted. "Surely you can at least understand that?"

"I can..." She replied softly as she nodded her head before looking at me again. "But didn't you see another life for yourself?" She asked.

"I did." I admitted as I nodded my head. "Before meeting Edward, I did."

"Tell me." She urged me as she shifted in her seat again.

"I wanted to go into science." I began softly. "Or something that would allow me to explore and understand nature." I explained and Rosalie nodded along as she listened. "I also wanted a big flowery wedding. The perfect white dress." I added as a small smile tugged at my lips. I was silent for a second before going on. "I wanted a daughter." I whispered. "A little girl after my own heart. All mine." I whispered as my eyes grew teary and I looked to the side to try and compose myself.

Rosalie gave me a second before she spoke up again. "You can still have that, Ana." She told me softly.

I immediately shook my head. "I'm not willing to give Edward up just to have that life." I told her as I looked back at her again, wiping at my eyes. "I can still have most of that."

"Not a child." She replied as she shook her head.

"It's a compromise I have to make." I replied as I nodded my head. Rosalie pursed her lips as she looked away from me. "I really don't want you to hate me, Rosalie." I told her softly as my eyebrows furrowed.

Rosalie looked at me, offering me a small smile. "I don't." She told me softly and it felt like a relief on my mind and heart. "Get some sleep." She told me as she stood up. "Goodnight, Ana." She whispered before walking towards the door.

"Rosalie." I called out and she stopped and turned to me. "I haven't said it before...but I forgive you, for everything that happened." I told her.

She smiled again and nodded. "Thank you." She replied softly before leaving the room.