I wander about the apartment the next day,looking at all the books on the shelves,admiring everything that this flat is. I don't seem to have much of an appetite so I just sit on one of the stools pulled up to the kitchen island. That's when I notice a pack of cigarets and a lighter,the pack is open and here's a bit five left. So I nervous scoop one up in my hand and walk towards the balcony.

I place the cigarette nervously between by middle and finger next to my thumb then gently press the lighter onto the tip of it. As orange sparks gently ripple from it,I place the lighter down and push the cigarette to my lips as I gently inhale to receive a muffly,smooth taste of air pumping from the material in my hand. But then as I breathe in more heavily I feel some kind of crowd roaring in my lungs so I pull it out,coughing. I went to far. I put it out then head back inside. Putting the lighter back like nothing has happened. There was some part of it,some part of this cigarette which seemed to hide the pain I felt, that seemed to ease everything that was crushing down on me.

I watch some TV then the door opens and Thomas walks through. He smiles at me.

"How was your day?" I ask.
"Pretty good." He sits down beside me "Yours?"
"Okay."
"You want to go out tonight?"
"Sure. Where?"
"Nightclub?"
"Sure,I'd love that."

I had only had one boyfriend before. That was when I was ten and too crazy crushing to understand what I was really doing. We held hands but never actually went out,I loved a boy in high school for a few years,but I knew he never felt the same way. And now I had no clue what to do so I just did some natural makeup. Luckily in my bag I brought this small black dress,in the middle of my thighs,so that my scars weren't visible. I wear my black pumps then walk out into the living room,Thomas is just checking his hair in the mirror,wearing something quite casual.

"You look great!" He says.
"Thank you." I feel myself blush slightly.

We get a taxi to a fancy club,once we get inside my stomach flips. Blazing music and all these people,jumping to the music. Thomas pulls me near his as he starts to dance,I don't really feel comfortable at first but then slip into it. But something still told me I didn't belong. But I couldn't show anyone I felt that way,so I kept it inside. We kept dancing until so late I felt like I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I fall asleep in the taxi but wake up minutes later. Me and Thomas wish each other goodnight then again I'm out like a light,still lying in all my makeup and my fancy dress.

Once I wake up I walk into the living room to see a note.

Hey Margo!

You didn't wake up so I thought I'd tell you that I'll just be at work and that I left some food in the fridge but we need to buy more later :)

P.S,I really enjoyed last night

Thomas

I smile slightly at the note then walk back into my room,most of my things I had put away in the walk in closet except for my phone which I hadn't switched on for days and once I do everything comes through..
My parents are going crazy,bombing my phone with texts. But I delete every single one,but once one goes another comes in. There comes a point where I can't take it anymore. I smash my phone by throwing it into the wall then watching it crumble into pieces.

I feel myself start to panic,my hands shake and my heart beat. My breaths come out heavy so I grasp my chest to try and keep control but it doesn't work. I just keep crying,over and over until I realise what to do.

I grab a pen and find Thomas' note then scribble out.

I'm sorry. Good bye. Thanks for everything.

Then I walk out of the apartment,shutting the doors behind me then walking. I don't stop. The tears falling lightly down my face.

I find a park,quiet. Very secluded. I find a bench which I sit myself on,watching onto the view. Children laughing and playing. I wish with all my heart that was me,but it's not, I can't and will never be. After about twenty minutes I begin to walk again until I reach a set of brick stairs,I climb them. My fingers trailing along the case then once I walk alone I look out,my hands leaning against the railing. It's out onto hard rock,I could fall and I wouldn't exist anymore. I sigh then climb up so that I stand there,no one notices and my hands are wrapped around pole supporters which hold up the bridge. As I let my hands ghost away I suddenly hear a scream.

"MARGO!"