I wake up in the morning to not much but a blurry vision for the first ten seconds and a face hovering above me,and obviously I immediately know who it is-

"You okay?" He asks.
"I don't know." My voice is all croaky and fucked up.
"Yo don't have to go in today,I'll call Max."
"I have to go in."
"Do you want me to drive you."
"Yeah,I just need to get ready,I'll be done in about twenty minutes."

I look at my reflection in the mirror and see myself-My hair is frizzy and looks like it hasn't been washed in years with a pale face like a vampire. I get a long,hot.steamy shower then do my best makeup,to try and fill up the gasps of imperfection.

Then I get in the Car and sit there until we reach the office,I don't feel happy anymore. It's getting bad again..

"Are you gonna be okay?" Thomas asks,leaning over and kissing my cheek.
"Yeah,I'll be fine."
"Love you."
"Love you too."

And with that I'm out the car then walking up to the office,I find Ben whilst I walk along the corridor-He's just making a constructer out of his pens.

"Morning Ben." I swing myself through the door.
"Morning Margo,feeling any better now?"
"Yeah,grand. Thank you."
"No problem."

I walk to see Max is with his girlfriend,they're making out on the desk so I gulp in not to gag and walk out and just press my back against the corridor. I've been trying to hold it together,hiding it away so no one gets hurt. But it's too hard now.

After a while Max's girlfriend comes out and I come in,Max just sits there typing on his computer.

"I know what you're thinking..." He begins "I can't break up with her."
"Why not?"
"She's like my safety net."
"Not really because if one of the other finds out you're screwed."
"You know what I meant."
"You're having a baby,that baby needs devoted parents."
"You don't understand."
"I do. Except that never happened for me,my parents didn't care. And you need to,if you don't want your child to break."
"Of course I don't."
"Well love it,you don't understand how lucky you are."
"I know I'm lucky."
"Just remember that for the future,I can't help you anymore."
"I know. Look,thanks. And,are you okay? Ben told me you were sick yesterday."

I silently high-five Ben in my head.

"Yeah,I'm better now. I wasn't physically sick just poorly but I'm better."
"Good. Well,can you make me some coffee?"
"Yes. Decaf?"
"That's right."
"Okay."

I walk out and to the kitchen in the department and do it as quick and professionally as possible,once I'm done I give it to my boss then slip off and out the building. I decide not to care and walk along the pavement,watching the cars zoom past,I feel an urge but I know to hold it in. So I just perch down on a bench,still looking but not moving. I feel like falling asleep but know that's a stupid idea.

This is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

I will be changing the cover for this story soon btw (Just thought you should know)