1

Elle

I couldn't stop my eyes from wandering over to the rack of tabloids as I stood in line at the grocery store. It's no wonder people cram them into their carts at the last second; their flashy colors and giant block letters can pull even the smartest person into their fabrications. My eyes scanned tagline after tagline until they rested on one with a very familiar name incorporated into the title. But the insecurity I felt was fleeting. I dragged my eyes from the dodgy magazine and loaded my groceries onto the belt.

My ride back to the house on the Tube was fairly easy with my lone grocery bag. It was a little crowded given everyone trying to rush home to get a jump start on the weekend, but I didn't mind. Being connected to someone who was constantly in the public eye somehow made me less wary around unfamiliar people; I couldn't really explain it, but I was grateful for it nonetheless.

When I finally arrived at the front door, I slid my key into the lock and was greeted with a welcome wave of warmth. He had the fireplace going, and the scent of burning wood filled my senses. It felt like home. It was home.

I was going to miss it dearly.

But I was going to miss him more.

I strolled into the kitchen and found him sitting at one of the stools pushed up against the counter, hunched over his phone. He was totally engrossed in whatever it was he was watching, so much so that I'm not sure he even realized I was standing right behind him. I bent my head to his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

"What're you—" but the moment my eyes found the screen, my question was answered. "Did you record that?" I found myself staring at me leaping across a stage.

"Yep. Hi, baby." He put his phone down and turned around in the seat, managing to wrap me in his arms all in one swift motion.

"Why on EARTH would you record my dance from the showcase last weekend?" A flush of embarrassment crept up my cheeks.

"I think the better question is why wouldn't I record it?" He raised his eyebrows to me. "I was thinking it would be nice to watch when I was really missing you." His voice dropped to a hush.  "Maybe before bed each night."

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep my emotions in check. "We can video chat at night."

"There's quite the time difference, love." He pushed himself a little ways from the counter and patted his lap. I eagerly climbed into it.

"Okay, I guess my dance will have to suffice." I leaned in to kiss him. "I bought some fresh ingredients for dinner tonight. I was thinking maybe you could make that steak with the peppercorn sauce. We haven't had it since we went to Paris. And you're just so good at cooking." I whipped out my flirtiest eyelash batting possible.

"I'd love to make it for us. How much did you spend?" He brought his eyes up to meet mine.

"Oh, hardly anything." I shook off the question with a wave of my hand.

"Elle, really, let me at least give you half. I should've gone myself. You had to work today." He unwrapped one of his arms from me and reached around into his back pocket.

"I'm not taking money from you for groceries. I spent less than thirty pounds. Didn't we agree we wouldn't discuss this?"

This was an all too familiar issue between us. We'd had a blowup before concerning money, and the big one that almost ended everything between us was in part due to a comment Jude made about it. Ever since then, the two of us kind of just ignored our vastly different social statuses. It was never my intention to be with him just because he makes enough to support me a thousand times over, regardless of what the media had to say.

Besides, I saved a lot of money over the last month not having to pay rent. Luckily for me, Rob picked up my share of it since he's been staying at the apartment with Lily.

"I'm sorry, baby. I just know...never mind." He reached back around me and held me close. "Right. Let's start dinner."

I climbed down from Jude's lap and put the groceries out on the counter. Jude spent the next half hour showing me how to make the dish from start to finish. I watched and listened to him intently; he'd been teaching me how to make all of our favorite meals so I could enjoy them even while he was away working.

As we sat at the dinner table, two steaming plates in front of us, there was a somber air that hung within the room. We had just over a week before he was off jet setting around to different shooting locations. About halfway through our meal, I remembered what I'd seen in the check-out line.

"Jude?"

He looked up from his plate.

"Remember that table read you went to for the new season?"

He wiped at the corners of his mouth with his napkin. "How could I forget it? One of the directors was furiously scribbling notes like he was unhappy about something. I hope they don't change too much. It seemed like a solid plot line."

"Just thought I'd let you know that the rumors are back. Saw a tabloid in the grocery store. Front cover featured the two of you walking out together. Honestly, I wish they'd give it a rest already. I mean, we've been seeing each other for nearly eight months. You'd think people would stop believing that you were going to get back together with her." Jude looked into my eyes tentatively, and I rolled my own to give him a clue. "Listen, I get it. She's like, really pretty, but, I'm not that unattractive, right?" I let the smile widen on my face to the point where my cheeks started to burn.

"Very funny, love. I'm glad we can have a good laugh about it now." A small smile crept onto his face as he shook his head at me.

Ever since I had that moment where Jude finally got me to realize that it would take a lot more than some silly rumor to destroy what we had, I was able to laugh off any speculation about his ex with ease. She was no longer a threat to us; though, I must say I've also come to the conclusion that she was never one in the first place. Took you long enough.

Jude resumed his eating, and I did the same, the mood considerably lighter between us, and the heaviness in the air lifted. We spent the remainder of the night pretty much like we spent every other night. A little cuddling on the couch after dinner led to a little more touching which led to a whole lot of physical contact up in the bedroom. Hey—he was going to be gone for two months; we had to stock up while we could.

***

That final week passed way too quickly. It seemed as though before I could stop to take a breath, we were already at the following Friday. Three more nights together. As I rode the train to Jude's house (our house?), I thought back to the last month we spent living under the same roof. I never thought I could find a roommate better than Lily, but Jude was doing a pretty damn good job. He wasn't really actively working, which meant that while I was showering before work, he was making us breakfast. If he had any engagements during the day, he made sure he was back home by the time I got there so as to not waste a single second of our time together. There was also the bit about him teaching me to cook.

Things felt so natural between us, and I wondered how empty I was going to feel when he left. But we could make it through anything; there wasn't a doubt in my mind.

That night, we finally had our date to the London Ballet. Lily had given me the tickets (along with an incredible dress) back in December when we celebrated Christmas. Now, as January was winding down, it was my turn to be the one watching someone float across the stage.

When I exited the Tube station, the bitter winter wind whipped about my face. I pulled my scarf up to cover as much of my skin as possible, and I quickened my pace to get to the house. When I finally approached the door, I pushed it open, and the sound of multiple voices from up in Jude's bedroom carried down to my ears. I tried to place the second voice as I was sure I knew it, but my mind was drawing a blank.

"Elle? I'm going to assume it's you and not some crazed fan who has come to stalk me. Am I right?" It sounded like Jude had been hitting a little wine prior to our night out. His voice was light and airy, and I wished I could come home to it every night for the rest of my life.

"Yep, just me. No need to call the authorities. Are you watching—"

But he didn't even give me a chance to finish my question. He emerged from his bedroom, two glasses of champagne in his hands.

"Fancy some bubbly?"

"What've you got going on up there, Mr. Anderson?" I savored the glare he sent my way.

"Come up and see." He winked at me, and when I had ascended the final step, he put a flute of champagne in my hand and brought his lips to my ear. "Jeffrey is going to be delighted that he gets to call you Miss Robinson again."

My eyes narrowed to mere slits as I let the bubbles of the champagne pop on my tongue. Jude grabbed at my hand and led me into his room, where I was immediately wrapped up in a hug from Jess, his hair and makeup artist.

"Elle! I've not seen you in ages. Jude asked me to come over to help the two of you get ready for tonight. He showed me the dress you've got. It's a real stunner, love." It sounded as if Jess had been hitting the champagne a little as well. Regardless, I was more than happy to have her there. There was no doubt we'd be getting photographed, and I'd been dreading having to try to fix myself up in such a short amount of time after work.

"I couldn't be happier to see you, Jess. I'm in desperate need of your expertise tonight."

I sat in the chair she had set up while Jude hopped into the guest room to get changed. Jess worked her magic and made me feel far more gorgeous than I thought possible. I slipped on my dress as she and Jude went downstairs to wait in the foyer.

As I descended the steps, I caught the tail end of their conversation.

"Thanks for coming over." Jude leaned in to give her a hug.

"No worries at all. I'm glad to have gotten to catch up with Elle. I'll see you at the airport on Monday."

The moment that final word left her lips, a pang of despondency sliced through me. Obviously Jess would be getting to travel along with Jude over the next few months; she was one of the makeup artists for the show. I hadn't even thought of that. As much as I wished to be in her place, I was at least happy that he'd be surrounded by his friends. I had Lily, and I hoped she'd be enough to distract me. I mean, she was going to need me to distract her too given that Rob would also be gone.

I made it to the foyer and forced a smile to hide the sadness welling up inside me.

Jess looked to me. "Well, my work is done here. You two have fun tonight!" She leaned over to kiss me on the cheek before heading out the door.

Once she was gone, Jude's lips were on mine.

"Bloody hell that dress is incredible." His voice was low against my mouth.

I forgot all about our impending time apart as a steady blush built in my cheeks. "You can thank Lily for it." I shot him a little wink and then held out the bracelet that was grasped in my hand. "Can you clasp this for me? I was having trouble hooking it on my own."

The gems in the bracelet sparkled in the light as Jude delicately wrapped it around my wrist. His touch was so gentle, and I held onto every slight brush of his skin against mine as if it'd be the last time I'd ever feel it.

"Got it." He admired the bracelet on my wrist. "Is this the one from the premiere over the summer?"

I nodded my head.

"I'm glad you like it. I haven't seen you wear it in a long time."

"Of course I like it, Jude. I love it. I just don't have many places to go to on a regular basis where wearing something like this would be appropriate." He'd never actually told me how much it was, and I didn't want to know. "Ready?" I smiled up at him.

I looped my arm through his and let him lead me out to Jeffrey's car. I soon realized that his threat to have Jeffrey call me Miss Robinson was empty; that or he really was too distracted by the dress I was wearing to have remembered. We spent the ride laughing and cuddling and sort of acting like two teenagers on their way to their first date. It was one of the things about Jude I loved the most; he so easily made me feel playful and comfortable, no matter the level of formality of the place we were going to.

From the moment we walked into the doors of the theater to the end of the performance, I felt as if I were floating in the clouds. The time we spent at the ballet was incredible; it was everything I could have hoped for, and getting to enjoy it with Jude was a memory I'd never forget. The night was perfect.

That was, at least, until we stepped outside to drive back home.

The press swarmed us. They hadn't been allowed inside the theater, but there was nothing to stop them from waiting outside of it. People were shouting Jude's name from every direction. He wrapped me up into his side and held me close. Even so, it wasn't enough to protect my ears from their words. Everything they shouted at us had to do with our imminent time apart. They were clearly trying to get a rise from one of us. His ex's name was thrown around, and I even heard someone reference Luke. I'd be lying if I said that the fact that they knew something so personal to me didn't jostle me a bit. But I had Jude there with me, and so long as I had him, I felt protected and loved and sure of myself.

When we got in the car, I turned to Jude and nestled into his side. "I love you."

He brought his hand to my head and stroked my hair. "I love you too, Elle."

I somehow managed to drift off into sleep during the car ride back, and because Jude is an incredible human being, he scooped me up and carried me into the house. When we got to his bedroom, I willed myself awake enough to run a makeup remover wipe across my face. I stripped off the dress I was wearing and threw on that black cotton t-shirt Jude had lent me months before; it had quickly become my normal nighttime sleeping attire. When I finally laid down next to Jude, he wrapped me up in his arms, and we drifted off to sleep.

At some point in the night, I stirred in bed and reached over to snuggle in more closely to Jude in an attempt to siphon some of his warmth. As I moved closer to his side, it became apparent he was no longer there. I rubbed at my eyes and squinted at the red LED light emitting from the alarm clock on his dresser. 3:57. I took a moment to do a quick stretch before hopping out of bed. I noticed the throw blanket we kept on the edge of the bed had fallen to the floor, so I snatched it up. I had an idea where he might be, and being that it was January, I knew I'd need the extra warmth.

As I pulled the blanket around my shoulders, I crept down the stairs. They creaked, and out of habit I slowed my pace, fearing I'd wake someone. But my someone was already awake. From the bottom of the steps, I could see right to where he was standing in the backyard.

I slid open the glass door and wrapped my arms and the blanket around him from behind. I felt him sigh before turning to me, an unlit cigarette held between his fingers.

I raised one eyebrow to him. "Oh, has Rob popped in?"

He gave me the tiniest of eye rolls before speaking. "I've had a pack in my rubbage drawer for years."

"I see. Run out of matches?"

He smiled down at me. "Well, love, I went to light it, but there was this little voice in my head that kept saying something like 'you know, that thing is literally killing you every time you bring it to your lips.'" His American accent was pretty convincing.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Elle." He grabbed my hand and led me to the bench in his yard.

"What's got you so worked up?" I turned to look into his eyes, but his were directed at my hand. He was holding it in both of his, running his fingers over my skin, and still managing to send an electric shock of heat through my body.

"You've never been in a long distance relationship before." The dejection in his voice made me uneasy. I wanted to fix whatever was bothering him, but I could only do so if he would let me in, and he so rarely let me feel his pain.

"So?"

"So it'll be hard, love. I'm leaving in two days, and I'll be gone for two months. We'll be lucky if we get to see each other once in that time. And..." His voice trailed off.

"And what?"

I watched him close his eyes, as if he were bracing himself for something. "I love you so much, Elle. But I'm not going to be able to just hop on a flight back here in a moment's notice. I'm going to be too far away, not to mention that I'll be working. I wish you could come with me."

We'd had this conversation before, and I knew where it was headed. "I love you too, Jude, but I can't leave my job for two months. You know that."

"I could take care of you." His voice came out barely above a whisper.

"I won't quit my job, Jude. I'm not that kind of girl."

"I know. I'm sorry, Elle. It's just that...well, being away from each other is going to be hard. I'm fearful that the distance between us will put a strain on our relationship. I don't want you to feel like I'm not there, or like I'm not going to come home to you. You know that, right? You know that I'm always going to come home to you?"

"Of course I do, Jude. Where is this coming from? Is this because of what happened outside the theater?"

He didn't say anything.

I moved closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. "They were just trying to get a sound bite from one of us."

"I know, but sometimes," he paused and turned to look at me with his eyebrows furrowed, "promise you won't get mad when I say this?"

I cocked my head to the side and stared back at him.

"I've seen them get in your head before." He shrunk back slightly as if worried he'd awoken the beast, but I just sat there and let him continue. "I know that in the past, you've had a tendency to fear the worst, but you need to trust that I'm never going to do something to deliberately hurt you. If you see a photo of me that upsets you, or if you read something online or hear something that makes you doubt our relationship, I want you to promise me that you'll call me and ask me about it before you jump to any kind of conclusion."

"Is this why you needed a cigarette?"

"I don't want to lose you."

I crawled into his lap and brought my lips to his. "I may be staying in London, but you're taking my heart with you for the next two months. Remember my Christmas present? The e.e. cummings poem? 'I carry your heart with me.' Then it goes, 'I carry it in my heart. I am never without it. Anywhere I go, you go, my dear.' I may not be there with you physically, but I am there with you in every other way."

He brought his lips down onto the top of my head, but I wasn't done.

"In the first few months of our relationship, I was so worried that you would find something wrong with me. I was worried that I was just some plain, ordinary girl who could never actually be with someone like Jude Anderson. And because of that, whenever I thought something was going wrong between us, I figured it was the end. I also read stories for a living, so my imagination can sometimes get away from me." I watched as he cracked a fraction of a smile. "But I've realized that was all in my head. Besides, don't you remember what I saw last week at the grocery store? I get it, Jude. You're in the public eye. People are going to make things up about you. Hell, they've even started making up things about me, and I'm practically a nobody. I know that 99% of what they say isn't true. The only thing they get right every single time is your name."

"I wish I could stay with you." His voice was low, and his chest vibrated against my body.

"Please believe me when I say I want the same. But it's only two months. That's like a millisecond compared to how many days and weeks and months we'll be spending together in the grand scheme of things. We'll be okay. I promise."

I felt him place a kiss in my hair. "For the record, love, you're as far from a nobody as someone could possibly be."