This is the last chapter of SIY. Thank you so much for supporting my craft and waiting for my updates para sa mga silen readers ko. It was a tough battle with myself and I can say I already found my spark back to writing because of several reasons and one of those will be the readers I still observe waiting for my UDs.

SIY and TPTOTES will undergo revision but rest assured both books wouldn't be unpublished for a long period of time ;))

Happy Holidays!

Ytal

_______________________________

“What do you think?”

Hindi ko tuloy alam ang isasagot ko sakanya. I know I’m sure about Gian but he asked me too suddenly!

Hindi na rin kami bumabata at sa set up namin ngayon ay kasal nalang naman talaga ang kulang sa amin. Even though I got into several relationships ay sakanya parin ang bagsak ko talaga. Gian was just the only man I loved like this before.

Did I even love my exes?

“Will you marry me?” He whispered with such comforting voice.

My tears started to fall because of his question. Not because I was confused but because my heart was overwhelmed with joy. For the past months I’ve been with Gian, it has been pure bliss and now that he wants to take our relationship to this level I would never say no.

Iniharap ako ni Gian sakanya at sa pagtama ng mga mata namin ay agad ko siyang siniil ng halik. I was smiling while kissing him senseless. I straddled his hip while his hands gripped on my waist so tight and pulled me towards his face even more.

I know he was waiting for an answer kaya naman habang nagpapalitan ng halik ay tumango tango ako habang nakangiti bilang sagot sakanya. He smiled widely and gripped my waist tighter, he encircled his arms around my waist and while he embraces me I could feel the wide smile on his lips.

“I love you…” he whispered, “Mahal na mahal kita..” He started kissing me again.

I stopped kissing him back and pushed him away by his chest. Kunot noo ko siyang tinignan at kita ko ang pagtataka sa mata nito.

“Nasaan ang singsing?” I joked.

Gian smirked and turned his back to reach the bedside table. May kinuha ito sa drawer at humarap muli sakin.

He’s holding a velvet box and when he opened it, a band covered in diamonds with a big stone at the center was held by Gian. By the looks of the ring I know that this is really expensive.

Naupo siya kama at hinawakan ang kamay ko para tumayo rin. When I got up, umalis siya sa higaan saka ako sinenyasan na lumapit sa harapan niya. I am now standing infront of Gian with my pajamas while crying from joy.

“The love of my life…” he kneeled infront of me and started drawing circles around my ring finger using his thumb while his other hand is holding the opened velvet box.

“The woman I want to spend my entire life with. I have been inlove since I met you and this love never faded…” he whispers, “... I want to spend the eternity with you… will you spend yours with me?”

My tears fell while I can also feel my chest almost exploding from joy.

“Yes! Yes!”

Agad niyang isinuot ang singsing sa daliri ko at tumayo para yakapin ako. Sa higpit ng yakap ni Gian ay umangat na ata ako sa lupa habang nakabaon naman ang mukha ko sa kanyang dibdib.

My chest was bursting with so much happiness. Hindi agad kami nakatulog dahil kung ano ano pang napag usapan namin hanggang sa inabot kami ng madaling araw. We started looking for churches online, flowers for the decorations and even started to list down the guests we want to invite.

Gian had planned to propose a few weeks ago but waited for me to finish my treatment with my psychiatrist first. I couldn’t be more thankful that I was lead back to my greatest love.

Napag usapan na din naming ibalita kinabuksan sa pamilya namin tungkol sa kasal. We’ll video call with them all together to see their reactions. I am so excited and I know matutuwa ng husto si mama.

The next day, we were busy cleaning the house and searching for wedding planners. Sabi ko kay Gian ay magdecide muna kami ng date next year at parang atat na atat ata dahil ngayong taon na daw kami magpakasal.

Nag set up din ng link si Gian for a video call with the rest of the family. He sent the link to his side and I sent mine sa gc namin. Nag alibi lang ako na may iaannounce ako patungkol sa work to make it sound like a promotion maybe.

Magkatabi kami ni Gian ngayon nakaupo sa couch while he’s holding his Ipad. Nang makumpleto na ang lahat sa meeting link ay kita ko ang pagtataka ng mag asawang Laxson dahil nasa call din ang magulang ko.

“Hi, Darling! Wow you look blooming today,” bati ni tita sa akin.

“Bakit pala may paganito, Lexi? You said it’s about work right?” Ate Kass asked.

Gian stole a glance. I couldn’t contain my excitement and showed them my engagement ring.

“We’re getting married!”

Nakita ko ang pagkagulat ni Papa habang si Mama naman ay napahampas sa braso niya. Ate Kass held her swolen belly while Kuya Lance was so shocked he dropped the phone.

Gian’s parents were happy, tita was already crying while her husband soothes her. Si Kuya at ate Eliz naman ay nakangiting napalakpak mula sa kanilang camera.

“Congrats, Bro!” Kuya Lance. Nang maayos ni Kuya Lance ang camera ay nakita kong nagpupunas na ng luha ang emosyonal kong ate Kass.

“Ikaw nanay?” pang aasar ni Kuya Maccoy. Kinurot ito ng patago ni ate Eliz.

“It’s the hormones!”

Gian held my hand with his and I leaned my head on his shoulder while listening to all of them banter and congratulate us. Natatawa akong nanonood na halos magkagulo sila sa isang zoom meeting.

“My bunso is getting married…” umiiyak na sabi ni Mama. Papa held her by the shoulder and made her lean against his chest.

Lumakas ang iyak ni mama kaya natahimik ang lahat sa call. My eyes started to water as well with the emotion. I never saw mama cried like this before even sa kasal ni Ate Kass and Kuya.

“My bunso is happy…” kausap niya kay Papa not minding that we could all see and hear her, “... My bunso is back. Thank you, Gian, thank you for bringing back my Francesca.” She sobbed in between.

“Ma…” Tears fell from my eyes.

“I’ll take care of her, Tito and Tita. Thank you for giving birth to a lovely daughter…” aniya.

Sinamaan siya ng tingin ni Papa mula sa screen pero agad niyang iniwas ang tingin sa camera pakunwaring si mama na ang tinitignan ngayon.

“Tutal ikakasal naman na kayo…” si Papa, “... Papayag na akong tawagin mo akong Papa., bahala ka sa gusto mo.” Arogante nitong sabi.

“Hah! Aayaw ayaw ka pa sa mga anak ko ah?!” Pang aasar ni tito sakanya, “... Alexine, you can call me Dad from now on.”

Nagsimulang mag asaran ang dalawang nakakatanda. Si Papa na kunwaring ayaw maging manugang si Gian ay balita ko namang kadaldalan niya lagi tuwing may family event at wala ako ron.

I know Papa lowkey likes Gian but also knowing him mataas ang pride neto kaya he doesn’t show much affection to Gian compared to kuya Lance. Unlike Gian’s parents na talaga namang malambing at malapit sa amin ni ate Kass.

I hope only happiness lingers around the house and our family. It was a long journey of pride, pain and misunderstandings that kept us apart kahit sa pamilya ko ay napalayo ako and I know I inflicted pain to our family as well. They longed for me while I was away drowning myself from pain and misconceptions about things I did not understand.

This time, I’ll make sure to be better. I don’t have anything from the past to hold me back and be happy. I want to be the best version of myself not only for Gian but for my family.

Days went by and I was pretty busy with work while we still plan the wedding little by little. I was preoccupied with the articles being published and my own documentary film sa orphanage.

It has been weeks since I started the project ‘Ganstilyo Angels’ where I post and sell the items crafted by the nuns and kids from the orphanage. Nakakatuwa na pati monetary donations ay nadating at halos masold out na ang mga ginanstilyo ng mga bata.

I am planning to have the orphanage renovated so the children would have better shelter to live in. Thanks to one of our anonymous person na nagbigay ng cash ay sapat na ito para masimulan ang renovation ng shelter.

Hating hati ang oras ko sa pagtulong sa mga bata habang naghahanda para sa kasal namin ni Gian. Today, we had to paint the walls of their room at bago pa man dumating ang mga magpipintura ay pinapili ko na sila ng kulay at agad namang nagkasundo ang lahat sa kulay ng bawat kwarto.

When it was time for us to paint the walls ay napag desisyunan ng mga bata na ilublob sa puting pintura ang mga kamay saka ito itatak sa pader. I smiled while they excitedly decorated the room with their handprints after the colors dried out.

“That looks cute” I said once they finished marking the walls with the adorable handprints.

“Talaga, ate” the kid asks. I nodded and pinched her cheek.

The kids were having fun on decorating the room they share. Compared to its situation from the day I first went here, the room looks better and fixed. When they were done stamping the walls with their handprints ay agad naman kaming bumaba para naman mag maryenda na.

Others were occupied making a thank you card for our anonymous donor for the orphanage. Ang ibang mga bata ay nag gantsilyo din ng mga kung ano anong accessories para sakanya. I asked the person if we can atleast know his gender so the kids could prepare something he could use, I got confirmation that he is a man. How nice of this guy to donate such a big amount to the kids and the nuns.

His donation was more than enough to finish the renovations, buy appliances and even new clothes for the kids. Bukod naman sa perang nalilikom ng mga naibebenta namin ay nakatulong din ang donation para tuluyan na mapalitan hanggang ang bubong ng orphanage. Ayaw pa nga sana pumayag nina Sister na gumastos ng ganito kalaki pero I convinced them that it’s a blessing someone wants to share to the kids kaya wala na rin silang nagawa.

After the kids finished making their cards and other gifts they made for this guy, I collected them all and made sure labeled it from which kid it came from. Inilagay ko ito sa isang brown box dahil nag schedule ako ng appointment to meet him personally and give him the gifts. It was hard convincing this person dahil ayaw naman niya ibigay ang kanyang address so I could just ship it kaya pumayag na din itong makipagkita nalang. We’re supposed to meet at a coffee shop where Gian works kaya pagkatapos namin magmeet ay bibisitahin ko naman si Gian.

When I got to the coffee shop ay umorder na din naman ako agad ng drink saka nagintay nalang dahil medyo napaaga ako ng punta. I answered some emails while waiting because I have a lot of unfinished paperworks because I got too busy sa documentary and orphanage lately. I stopped working when it’s already 5 minutes before he gets here.

The coffee shop’s door opened and I can see Gian in his blue polo shirt and specs making his way towards my table. Nangunot ang noo ko nang maupo ito sa harapan ko.

“What are you doing here?” tanong ko.

He held my hand and kissed the back of it.

“What do you mean? We’re supposed to meet here right? We agreed at this time of day to meet over a cup of coffee…”

Then it sinked it. Gian is the anonymous person where we got the big donation. I had a lot of questions in my mind as to why Gian would do such a thing knowing that this is my initiative or he know I was doing this.

“I know you might question why I donated such an amount to the project but I want to let you know that it came from me with a sincere intention to help the kids.” panimula nito.

“But you kept it anonymous at first then revealed yourself now, Gian. I’m not mad, I’m confused…”

He intertwined our fingers.

“I just know that if it’s you then the kids will benefit from how you would handle the money,” aniya.. “... I chose to donate it to your fundraising because I know you’ll handle it well and the children needed it most.”

My eyes got teary and agad akong lumipat ng upuan sa tabi niya. I hugged him so tight he laughed while trying to breathe for air.

“I love you! I love you! I love you so much!” I whispered on his ear. I felt Gian kissing the side of my head while chuckling.

Life is really good especially with this man.

Hindi naman kami nagmamadali sa pagpapakasal because we feel really secured now with each other. Our wedding will be held next year around December dahil naisip ko pa ang buntis na kapatid ko, she will probably give birth before our wedding and I want my niece or nephew to look so cute in a dress or suit.

There were days where I would have to stay overnight sa opisina dahil sa documentary na tinatapos ko. Gian has an exceptional time management skill now which makes me busier and less present sa bahay everytime. This is a project I am eyeing to get attention from the world so we can help more children and organizations.

Maliban pa sa documentary ay mga meetings, script writings and other research related tasks na inaasikaso ko araw araw. My weekends are allotted for planning the wedding with Gian, meeting with the suppliers and stuff. I kinda felt guilty these past few weeks dahil nga sa sobrang abala ko sa trabaho. Gian would attempt on picking me up sa station and uuwi ng hindi ako kasama dahil hindi ako nakapagsabi sakanya na sa opisina ako mag-i-stay.

When the documentary was released and published to the public I was able to breathe from all of my tasks. I had someone taking over the Gantsilyo Angels, a volunteer who manages the page and helps the orphanage for the sales. The orphanage continued receiving donations from various organizations and people as well na may nagmamanage na din para sa akin. I am really blessed to meet these people because they took those out of my plate but from time to time I still meet up with them to share some updates.

When ate Kass was on her Second Trimester, we were invited to their Baby Shower and Gender reveal. Gian made sure to block his schedules because we’re flying back to Cebu for a week. Ako naman ay binigyan ng pahinga sa trabaho pero hindi ko agad ito ginamit because I was trying to save it for a special occasion.

“Love, complete na toiletries mo?!” I shouted from the CR asking Gian if he already packed everything. Nandito ako sa CR para ayusin ang mga dadalhin ko kasing toiletries.

“Yeah, I’m done packing. Double checked it already…” rinig kong sagot niya. Maya maya ay nakatambay na sa may pinto ng CR na nakabukas.

“Okay! Just making sure…” sagot ko saka isinara ang pouch, “... Anong gusto mong dinner? Magluluto ba ako or may iba kang gusto?”

I did not pack my stuff for Cebu kahapon kaya naman nagmamadali ako ngayon dahil bukas ng madaling araw ang alis namin.

Sa kama namin ay nakapatong ang nakabukas na luggage ko. Nakaayos naman na ang mga damit at sapatos sadyang toiletries nalang ang kulang. Nang maisiksik ko ang pouch ay dapat isasara ko na ang luggage nang maramdaman kong may humawak sa aking bewang saka ako itinabi ng bahagya.

Gian closed the luggage and zipped it. Ibinaba na rin niya ito sa sahig saka itinabi sa kanyang maleta na nasa sulok ng kwarto.

“Do you want to eat anything in particular?” Tanong nito nang humarap sa’kin.

“Wala naman akong cravings. Kumain nalang tayo sa labas? Para hindi na matetengga yung pagkain sa ref kasi aalis naman tayo,” sagot ko. Lumapit ito sa akin saka humirit ng halik.

“Yeah that's a better idea…”

Hawak kamay kaming lumabas ng unit at agad naman akong nakaramdam ng cravings. Gusto ko ng mainit na may sabaw kaya ang pumasok sa isip ko ay ramen. Wala namang angal si Gian at agad siyang naghanap sa phone ng pinakamalapit na ramen place nang makasakay kami sa sasakyan.

I am really excited to know the sex of our new addition to the family. Bukas na bukas pagkalapag ng eroplano ay mamimili agad ako ng mga regalo kahit hindi ko pa alam kung babae siya or lalaki, I’ll purchase the items in both colors kaya gumawa nalang sila ng bagong baby para if hindi magagamit ang isa ay may paglalaanan.

It was traffic along the way dahil rush hour na din at matao din ang pupuntahan naming lugar. Lalo lang akong nakakaramdam ng gutom habang nag iintay pero hindi ko nalang ito nirereklamo dahil mas pagod sa akin si Gian ngayon.

“Hungry?” Tanong niya sa akin.

“Yeah… malapit namam na tayo,” sagot ko. He held my hand resting on my thigh and gently rubbed his thumb against mine.

“Onti nalang, my hungry baby…” he smirked, “... Eat a lot okay?”

I nodded.

Nang makapagpark kami ay pinagbuksan pa ako ng pinto ni Gian saka agad na umakbay sa akin. His other hand was holding his car keys and card holder habang ang isa ay nakapulupot sa aking balikat.

We sat down on a table near the window and I already picked mine. This is my favorite japanese restaurant so I automatically knew what I want. Gian ordered the same ramen as mine.

When the night ended ay hindi na rin naman kami nag ikot dahil maaga pa kami kinabukasan for our flight. We slept really early so we can leave at midnight. I already texted mama before sleeping our flight details and what time we’ll arrive.

A driver picked us up from the airport kinabukasan. Gian will be staying at their house while I’ll be staying at our house na alam kong medyo magulo ngayon. The cousins went home from abroad just to celebrate with us because we have two reasons to get together. The baby shower and engagement but we all agreed that we will throw the grandest baby shower for ate Kass.

My engagement was already a few months ago so I want to focus more on the baby on the way!

The baby shower is tomorrow and today would be our rest day. When the party came the next day, a lot of people were busy decorating the garden area where the relatives are invited. Medyo malaki ang garden ngayon at mas madaming bunga dahil alaga ni Mama kaya naman dito nalang mag decide na magparty.

I already wrapped all the gifts for ate kaya naman ay ibinaba ko na ito pagkahapon sa lagayan ng regalo.

Gian and I were chilling sa sala nang dumating ang mga pinsan namin.

“Lexi! Oh my I missed you!” Ate Kamil embraced me.

“How are you, bunso?” Kuya Kris naman at ginulo pa nga ang buhok ko.

Naiiling na lumapit si ate Serin sa akin at yumakap.

“I heard about the engagement. Congratulations…” aniya saka bumaling din kay Gian.

I thanked them for the greetings and took some selfies with them dahil ganoon kami kalapit sa isa’t isa at madaling magka sepanx.

“Nasaan pala ang buntis?” Tanong ni Ate Serin. I checked my phone and it was almost four pm, Mama said ate and kuya Lance will arrive by then.

“They should be here any minute…”

Nang dumating ang sasakyan nila ay agad naman kaming nagpuntahan sa may pintuan para salubungin ang mag-asawa. Ate Kass was being assisted by Papa while Kuya Lance parks the car at the garage.

Ate Kass has that pregnancy glow. No dark under eyes, still has her round cheeks, chinky eyes, smooth glass skin and radiant glow na para bang nabusog lang ito at hindi buntis. She looks stunning kahit naman magka video call kami.

“Ang ingay ingay!” Reklamo niya, “Joke lang! Namiss ko kayo…” agad itong lumapit sa amin at yumakap. We circled around her tummy and laughed together.

Ate Kass pushed us a bit away at nagsimulang maluha. She wiped her eyes and we immediately got worried.

“Mommy na ako…” she sobbed, “... Sana our kids will be as close as us,” aniya.

Pregnancy hormones.

“Silly, girl! Ofcourse they will ‘no!” Ate Kamil.

Kunot noo namang dumating ang asawa niya at nag aalalang lumapit dahil naiyak si ate Kass. We just laughed it out because it was just the hormones she said.

Naupo na kami sa seats namin matapos ang iyakan. The garden was decorated with baby pink ribbons and baby blue airplanes. A big backdrop of a hot air balloon in pink and blue was infront as decoration sa stage.

Some are already taking photos of the place. The food was served at the side with themed finger foods as well. Kakaunti lang ang bisita because they wanted this to be as intimate as it can be. They only invited the closest relatives and family friends.

“Hi, baby! I am your tita Lexi and I think you’re a girl…” Masayang sabi ko sa video na nirerecord ng kaibigan ni ate Kass. They asked me if I could join the video they’re making for a trend.

“You wanted a girl?” Tanong ni Gian na nakaupo sa tabi ko. He’s wearing a baby blue ralph lauren polo shirt, white trousers and sneakers.

“Yeah? I think she’ll look like ate Kass, very kikay and makulit like kuya Lance!” I giggled.

Gian smiled and made me lean my head on his shoulder while we watch the crowd play infront. There were games before the sex is revealed.

After the long wait, we now reached the reveal where ate Kass and Kuya Lance will have to cut the big cake to reveal the baby’s sex.

Everyone was documenting the moment but I am focused with my ate’s reaction. When the cake was sliced, a pink colored liquid gushed out of the cake symbolizing that their baby is a girl!

“Wow I knew it!” I said amazed. Photos of her latest ultrasound were flashed on the screen.

“She’s so adorable…” rinig kong sabi ni Gian habang nakatitig sa screen.

I know that this baby will be loved so much by both families.

When the night came. Mabilis namang nailigpit ang lahat ng decorations. We had dinner with Gian’s family and talked a lot until the stories already running out.

After our dinner, everyone decided to have dessert sa sala and packed up at around eleven PM. Si Gian ay hindi pa umuwi nang mahanap akong nagliligpit sa kusina kasama ang mga kasambahay. I knew they were tired as well because they prepared the foods and everything else for the guests since yesterday kaya naman ay napatulong na ako.

“Sige na, Manang, ako na po magda-dry magpahinga na kayo…” agaw ko sa basong pinupunasan ni Manang.

“Ay sigurado ka, Lexi?” I nodded at her with a smile and took the cup so I could dry it.

I felt Gian’s presence. Sumandal ito sa gilid ko at sinimulan akong panoorin sa ginagawa. We only have one cloth to use so hindi ko siya mabigyan para tigilan niya ang kakatitig sa akin.

“Stop staring,” asar ko sakanya.

“Make me.” muntik ko siyang batuhin ng pamunas at umilag naman siya. I laughed jokingly.

Itinaob ko na sa lagayan ang mga napunasan saka naman bigla akong hilahin ng bahagya ni Gian papunta sa garden area.

Nang mahila niya ako papunta sa garden ay agad itong yumakap sa likuran ko at itinuro ang langit. A lot of stars decided to show up tonight and the moon was in it's fullest presence.

I leaned my back sakanya. Gian sniffed my neck and planted a soft kiss on my shoulder. Hindi niya pa inalis ang labi sa balikat ko at ramdam ko ang bahagyang ngiti sa labi niya. Hinawakan ko naman ang kamay nitong naka yakap sa bewang ko saka ngumiti.

My heart feels at peace after all what happened. What I learned coming back here, what I built not just with Gian but with myself. I am at ease thinking that I will spend my life with this man, the man who knows patience, gentleness and what love I want.

I know na hindi ko na kailangang magkunwari sa nararamdaman ko. Kaya ko nang mamahinga at huminga dahil wala na ang lahat ng galit sa dibdib ko. I may regret a lot of decisions I’ve made but this one, I will never regret…

“I honestly thought that this day will never come…” bulong niya.

Nangunot ang noo kong sagutin siya.

“At bakit naman?” Tanong ko.

Humigpit ang yakap ni Gian sa akin at humalik uli sa balikat ko. Ipinatong niya ang baba sa balikat ko kaya naman ay amoy na amoy ko ang pabango niya.

“I thought that there wouldn't be a chance for us anymore… that you already love someone else,” malungkot na sagot niya.

Maybe I did try loving someone else.

Maybe I dared to try even though I knew I can't.

Maybe I knew it all along that no one could replace you.

I know…

“How can I unlove you though?” Sagot ko, “... Lagi ka nalang nagsusumiksik sa isip ko. Living rent free, huh.” I smirked.

“But I know that you’re able to love someone else other than me. I couldn't do that…” he sighed, “... I couldn't entertain someone because I always see you in them.” Aniya.

We did thing separately that honed us into who we are today. I don't think that the heartbreaks we experienced were for nothing but it made us grow into fine adults. Life has so many lessons to be learned, things to be earned and memories to keep but it wouldn't always be about love and romance.

Sometimes it could be something greater than romance.

“I don't regret that we grew apart, Gian.”

Ramdam ko ang pagkunot ng noo nito dahil nakadukdok na ang mukha niya sa pagitan ng aking balikat at leeg. I felt his disagreement with that but I continued speaking before he could argue.

“... Because since we were really meant to be with each other, here we are now. Even though people tried breaking us apart, they never succeeded. Even though life gave us tons of obstacles to survive with, we paved the way for us, for love.”

Naramdaman ko ang pag angat ng ulo niya. Hinawakan niya ang parehong balikat ko at inikot ako para makaharap sakanya.

His eyes were screaming amusement, devotion, love… all the things I could describe could be seen at those twin orbs that reflected the stars tonight. I caressed his cheek with my thumb and smiled at him.

“And we won't ever be apart again, my love…” kinuha niya ang kamay kong nasa pisngi niya, “... We’ll always be together against anything or anyone that will break us apart. I’ll build our home, you’ll complete my dream and we’ll be a family,” aniya.

Hinila niya ako palapit sakanya saka siniil ng halik.

“...Just like how I pictured us years and years ago,” aniya habang humahalik sa labi ko.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he deepened the kiss. Naramdaman ko na ang kamay nito sa aking bewang, he was almost carrying me already while we're making out here at the garden! With the lights and doors on!

“... I don't think I can ever bear a heartbreak from us again. I’ll go crazy if we break up again, if you leave me again…” pinagdikit niya ang aming noo at pumikit, “... I won't be able to take it if we'll be apart again,” I flashed a smirk on my lips mocking him jokingly.

“Hulog na hulog ka naman sa’kin,” then I angled my head again for a kiss.

He smiled while giving back the kisses.

“I don't know how but..” he breathed, “... I’m so into you.”