SMOKE SIGNALS     /     OUTERBANKS
ੈ✩‧₊˚ written by catie . . . © vqnillascented
chapter twenty seven  ━━ ' the annual bonfire '

ALEX HAS SPENT THE PAST six months of her life dreaming of Ward Cameron's death.

She had gone over the scene in her mind over and over, putting on a different spin or changing a detail each time.

Maybe he'd jump off a high cliff edge and break his neck when he hit the water? Maybe she'd be the one to push him. Maybe his poor choice of deals and bargains would catch up to him, maybe someone would come after him. Maybe he'd flee the country, run from his mistakes and never be seen again.

But now that he was actually gone, Alex wasn't sure what to imagine before she went to sleep.

She thought that it would feel good to watch him die, after everything that he's done. After he'd tormented her family, killed her father, ruined her life as she had always known it.

And sure, there were moments over the next few days were Alex felt relieved. She no longer had to worry about what he'd do next, if he'd come after her or her friends.

But she still couldn't shake the heavy, sinking pit in her gut.

Sarah's screams and sobs haunted her every waking second, and she couldn't replay the memory of the Druthers bursting into a million pieces for too long or her eyes would well up.

Alex knew what it felt like to lose a father. She knew the exact pain of all that grief, hopelessness, and anger slamming into when you realize that they're not coming back, and there's nothing you can do.

Ward Cameron was a monster, but he was a father. Sarah had to grow up without a dad from here on out, and so did Wheezie. Alex even found herself feeling slightly bad for Rafe, knowing that he had spent his whole life trying to please Ward, and now his purpose was gone.

But only slightly.

Her mind reeled for three straight days, conflicting thoughts swirling inside her skull. She was glad he was dead, then not, because of Sarah, because it didn't undo any of the pain he had caused, then she was wishing she had been the one to kill him.

She went from feeling like a monster for her thoughts one second, then the next she was scolding herself for her empathy.

Even after two full nights of staring at the ceiling, trying to sort through the jumbled mess of her mind, she couldn't come up with an answer, a side to stand behind.

It didn't help that the Pogues had spent the time celebrating. Sarah had gone back to Tannyhill with her family, leaving the others alone at the Chateau, no longer having to hide their feelings. They had spent a few hours contemplating and feeling bad, but soon bottles were popped, music was blasted, cheers were whooped, all while Alex sat and stared into the distance.

She couldn't take part in the celebration, not when she wasn't entirely sure how she felt. Not when she couldn't stop thinking about Sarah, and how she must be feeling.

Not when she knew that her dad, even though Ward had been the one to kill him, wouldn't have wanted her to cheer for his death.

She knew he would've been so disappointed with how she had handed her anger, her emotions. Guilt racked through her, on top of her fuzzy mind. Threatening Rafe? Screaming at Ward in front of a crowd? Fighting with her mother at his funeral?

She didn't regret anything, a philosophy that she lived by, but that didn't stop the guilt. She felt guilty for acting on her anger, on her grief, felt guilty for disrespecting her father at his own funeral, felt guilty for feeling relived at Ward's death, felt guilty for feeling sorry for the Camerons, after everything.

She couldn't escape the guilt. It clawed at her throat, choking her. She didn't talk for those three days, didn't eat much, didn't even close her eyes at night.

She thought that Ward dying would solve her problems, would rid her from the gnawing guilt and burning anger.

But she knew now that wasn't true. Only she could solve her problems, could process and sort through her emotions, could mend her relationships.

Problem is, she had no idea where to even begin.

The Pogues went back to school on Monday, but Alex stayed back, not wanting to return to the Academy at a time like this. She had already missed so much school, what was one more day?

She wandered into town that afternoon, keeping quiet and to herself, just for some fresh hair and to people watch. She thought it might help clear her head, but of course, it didn't. Nothing did. But it was still nice to feel a breeze on her face, taste the salt in the air.

She stopped in front of a bulletin board posted outside of a boutique, with some flyers looking for help on a project or the latest town news.

She ignored all the newspaper clippings about Ward's suicide and gossip about the Camerons, instead focusing on a particular, bright yellow piece of paper.

OBX ANNUAL BONFIRE
@ CHANEY BEACH
STARTS @ 7:00

A smile ghosted over her face. She and Sarah used to go to the bonfire every year when they were younger, when Alex still lived in the Outer Banks. They would beg the older kids to let them try beer, and when they were rejected they gorged on s'mores and made themselves sick. They used to have a sleepover after, but they didn't really sleep, taking turns groaning about their stomachaches and giggling about which cute boy looked their way that night.

The soft, happy nostalgia gave way to sadness. Sarah probably wasn't going this year, not after the past couple days. Alex hadn't talked to her since it happened, giving her space. Still, one text couldn't hurt.

She pulled out her phone, tapping on Sarah's contact. Remember when we were ten and Lesley gave you a Mai Tai, which you proceeded to chug in five seconds?

Sarah's response came a few moments later. Then I asked Toby if he'd go to the football game with me and he laughed in my face.

Alex chuckled down at her screen. Asshole.

He volunteers at the animal shelter every day after school.

Altruistic asshole.

Sarah didn't reply to that, and Alex's heart sunk a bit. It was nice to joke around, but she knew that Sarah probably wasn't in a joking mood, or a talking mood for that matter.

With this, she pocketed her phone and headed back to the Chateau.

She found a random book in John B's room and read until the others got home, sprawling out on the couch.

"Alex, you gotta see this shit."

She closed the book and sat up, tilting her head at JJ. "What is it?"

He fell onto the cushion beside her, already holding out his phone. He flipped through a few selfies in his camera roll - while Alex fought back a wave of laughter - until he got to a photo that made her pulse jump.

In the picture, there was an old, leather bound book, the pages all torn and weathered. And there, on the very first page, was a drawing a bundle of wheat. The same symbol that was embedded in the bars of gold. The Royal Merchant emblem.

"What is it?" Alex repeated her earlier question, this time directed at Pope.

He replied, "One of our teachers at school works at the museum. He found this in the archives. It's Denmark Tanny's journal."

Alex's eyes went wide and returned to the photo, taking it every detail. JJ swiped, moving onto another photo. It was still of the journal, just a different page. There was some cursive handwriting on the top half of the paper, which Alex couldn't read in the blurry photo, but the picture underneath the writing was what really intrigued her.

A sketch of three people lifting a giant cross that was bigger than them, jewels and elaborate details lining the rood.

Alex sucked down a breath. "The cross of Santo Domingo..." 

"Was on the Royal Merchant." Pope nodded, confirming her thoughts.

She lifted her gaze and swept over the others, and they met her stare with equal solemness.

"August 15th; set sail from Port-au-Prince on calm seas." Pope read aloud from the packet of papers he had brought back from school. Copies and copies of Denmark's diary's contents. "Came up on the Spanish ship San Jose on fire."

The others sat around the screened-in back porch, clinging to his every word.

"The entire deck was aflame. And we could hear the screams of men trapped below. The Spanish captain cared about only one thing, his valuable cargo, the Cross of Santo Domingo and countless bars of gold." Pope paced back and forth, papers clutched in his grasp. "Once the cargo was on board, we went to help the crew but Captain Limbrey ordered us to pull bayonets and not to let any of the Spanish crew on board. He robbed them, and left them to die."

"So, it didn't go down off Bermuda." JJ breathed, as Pope tossed the papers down and collapsed into a chair.

"It was a Limbrey stealing shit again." Kiara huffed.

"This diary proves that both the gold and the cross were on the Royal Merchant." Pope's brow was furrowed, deep in thought.

JJ played with his lighter, clicking the lid open and closed. He and Alex were on the big coach, her with her legs tucked up under her and him sprawled out on the cushions. She didn't want a repeat of earlier, when he put her legs in his lap casually. She couldn't risk having her focus thrown off or her mind getting even more muddled.

"Why didn't we find it in the well then?" JJ asked, with a click of metal. "If Denmark was able to get this, like, bedazzled cross off of the Merchant to shore, why didn't he just hide it with the gold?"

"Because it was too big?" John B suggested.

"You're right." Pope nodded. "He had to hide it someplace else."

"But where?" Kiara asked.

"Yeah, I mean, where does somebody hide a huge ass cross?" Alex added in agreement.

"Right before he was hung, Denmark said he'd buried the treasure at the foot of the angel." Pope said.

"I thought that was about the key." JJ's brow pinched.

"Right." Kiara leaned forward in her seat. "What's the connection?"

Pope picked up the key, the real one, off the table, inspecting it. "The path to the tomb begins in the island room." He recited the inscription.

"But what is the island room?" Kiara groaned.

"You know what helps me figure shit out?" JJ swung his legs over Alex and sat up.

Everybody turned to him, with equal interest and apprehension.

A smirk stretched over his face. "Smoking beers and drinking weed."

Alex narrowed her eyes at him. "That's not quite right."

"I know, that was on purpose, okay?" He threw her a glare over her shoulder, speaking in a hushed voice like the others weren't literally right there. "It's called being funny."

She tilted her head to one side. "Is that was that was?"

"Whatever." He waved her off, facing the room once again. "Anyways, if we just sit here and try to figure this out, we're gonna get nowhere. But if we get creative and go to this bonfire tonight, maybe we can get somewhere."

"Well, I just got disowned by my parents, and I'm an official member of the nothing-to-lose-club." Kiara smiled.

"Welcome." Alex scoffed.

"You down?" JJ turned to her.

"Why the hell not." She slumped down into the cushions. "I'm gonna get a migraine if I have to listen to any more bullshit about the island room."

He did a fist pump before looking to John B, who just gave a shrug. Then, JJ faced Pope.

"We're so close, JJ." Pope gave him a look.

JJ threw his hands up, exasperated. "Look, think about how much you could think, if you just gave your brain a rest."

Pope sighed. "Okay, okay, fine."

JJ practically jumped for joy. "We gotta pregame!"

"Do we?" Kiara said, but he was already sprinting inside to the fridge.

Twenty minutes later, the Twinkie was pulling up to the the bonfire, parking amid the crowd, everyone's faces lit up by flame.

John B was already whining about Sarah before they had even fully joined the bustling crowd. "Sarah's not replying to my texts."

Pope and Kiara pulled ahead of the others, chatting about what Kiara should do about her parents.

Alex stuck by John B and JJ, staying quiet as they talked about Sarah, too busy searching for her best friend's signature blond hair herself.

An unfamiliar girl gives JJ a sultry grin as they pass, handing him a red solo cup, filled with an unidentified liquid, which he takes a swig of.

Alex frowns, throwing a look over her shoulder at the girl. She's twirling a strand of dark hair around her finger, eyes glued to JJ's back, that crooked smirk still plastered on her face.

Facing forward again, Alex hugs herself, a sharp pain twisting in her gut. She can't name the feeling, not even as it spreads and starts to make her skin burn.

She feels out of place - that must be it. Surrounded by faces that she should know from her early years, but can't quite place anybody's names. Even after being identified, the sensation doesn't ease.

"She won't even let me be there for her," John B goes on, stealing JJ's cup for a drink. "She's mad that I was a little bit happy that Ward died. She wants me to be miserable and comforting her, even after everything he did!"

"I know, dude," JJ sighs. "But her dad blew up right in front of her. Just give her a minute all right?"

Alex winced, an image of her dad's limp body flashing across her mind. She reached out and snatched the drink from the boys, throwing back the rest of its contents.

"Whoa," John B watched her with wide eyes. "What's gotten into you?"

Alex swiped away the remaining liquid that dripped down her chin. Whoever had mixed up the concoction had clearly gone overboard with the alcohol ratio. "We're having fun, tonight, aren't we?" She flashes both of them a bright, dazzling smile, directly opposing the black hole that had just opened up behind her ribs. Without waiting for a reply, she spun on her heel and marched into the crowd, in search of some more of that punch, desperate to numb her aching chest.

She finds an abandoned, unopened can of beer on the ledge and quickly takes it, popping the tab and taking a long drink. Scanning the crowd as she finishes the can, she spots Sarah.

She's with Topper, standing over a cooler, a few empty cans crushed at their feet, with fresh ones in their grasp.

"Sarah!" She approaches them, ignoring Topper, talking directly to her best friend. "Hey, how are you doing?"

To her surprise, Sarah rolls her eyes at her. "Everybody is babying me. Stop freaking babying me." Her words slur together, confirming Alex's suspicions that the empty drinks on the ground were hers.

"I'm not trying to baby you." Alex crossed her arms. "But what are you doing? Do you think it's a good idea to be getting wasted after what happened?"

"Isn't that what you're doing?" Sarah motioned to the drained beer in Alex's hand.

"I'm not doing this right now, Sarah." Alex tossed the can aside. "I wanted to check on you, not get berated for having some fun."

"You berated me first." Sarah mumbles, reaching for the cooler.

Alex grabs her wrist, stopping her before she can grab another can. "I think you've had enough."

Topper's grabbing her shoulder then, shoving her back. "Hey, don't grab her like that!"

"I can do whatever I want!" Alex snapped at him. It felt good to yell, felt good to unwind the pent up, twisted feeling in her stomach. "She's clearly wasted, Topper, but you're no help, as always. You're just enabling her."

"Her dad just died, Alex!" Topper glowered down at her. "She can let loose for one night!"

Alex couldn't stop herself. Rage was searing her veins, hot like lava beneath her skin. She felt drunk on the feeling, no longer in need of any alcohol. "My dad died too!" She cried, fists balled up at her sides. "But nobody cares about that, do they?"

She didn't wait for a response, didn't want to look at Topper's stupid face any longer, or be anywhere near Sarah right now. She wanted to get out.

Stomping down the hill, cans of assorted drinks crunching underfoot, Alex found a separate, quiet area behind an old, rusty excavator, a few yards away from the main party in a nearby field.

She collapsed against the side of the equipment, her breathing getting away from her. Her lungs burned, desperate for more even as she gulped down air greedily.

She thought that she had gotten past this. Gotten past the stabbing, inescapable pain that pierced her when she thought about her dad. Sure, it still hurt when she remembered, and she was certain she would never completely get over what happened, but she thought she was past this.

The gasping for air, hiding from everyone, trying to calm her wild heartbeat and shaking hands. The getting triggered over the most random things, the lashing out, the...crying?

She felt something wet roll off her chin and quickly reached up to touch her face, only then realizing that she had been crying for God knows how long.

Putting her hands on her knees, Alex hung her head and let herself cry, let herself struggle for air, let herself tremble. She was exhausted all of a sudden, like she needed a really long nap.

Something crunched in the grass behind her.

She jumped, heart leaping back into her throat. She snatched a discarded piece of jagged wood in the weeds and whipped around towards the sound.

JJ lifted his hands, eyes wide as he took in her defensive stance. "I come in peace." He stopped a few feet away, wringing his hands. "Just saw you run off and got a bit worried."

"Worried?" Alex dropped the wood back into the grass. She should feel embarrassed, should hide her shaking hands, her splotchy face and runny nose. But she didn't feel like hiding. Not at all.

"Yes, Alex, I worry about you sometimes." He took a few steps closer, still watching her tentatively. "I thought we've been through this. I care about you, so I'm allowed to worry. Now, may I?" He motioned to the space beside her, and slowly, she nodded.

He stepped up, leaning against the excavator beside her. Lifting his face towards the stars, he let out a long sigh. After a pause, the silence filled only by the crickets and faint chatter of the crowd, he finally said, "You okay?"

She wiped her face with a wet laugh. "Yeah, I'm great. I always run away from parties sobbing when I'm great."

He shook his head, still not looking at her. "No, I mean, obviously you're not okay right now. I assumed you didn't want me to ask."

"Good assumption." She stared at the grass, her nerves still not dissipating for some reason.

"I meant are you okay? In general?" She felt his eyes shift onto her face, but she kept her own gaze down. "Like, it couldn't have been easy for you to see Ward...you know. After everything."

"I'm overjoyed." Alex said with a sniffle. "Or, I guess, I should be. I don't really know how I feel. It just sucks, I guess..."

"That Ward Cameron is dead...?"

"No, that's the only thing that's easy about this whole situation." Alex sighed. "That's good. I mean, it sucks for Sarah, and Wheezie, of course, but him being gone is better, I think."

"Yeah." He's still watching her, she can feel it. "But...?"

"Everybody is so worried about Sarah, is so concerned with saying the wrong thing, doing to wrong thing around her. This shit is complicated, I know that, it's just..."

"Nobody cared this much when your dad died."

Alex's head snapped up, gaze flying to his. "What?"

"Sorry." JJ shook his head, ducking away from her frantic eyes. "I shouldn't have said that, I should go."

He started to leave, pushing off the equipment, leaving a rush of cold air in his wake. Alex fought a shiver as her arm shot out involuntarily, her still-trembling fingers finding their way to his hand.

"Don't go." She didn't even realize she was speaking until the whisper slipped past her lips. "Stay with me. Please."

He scanned her face, wide eyes taking in every detail, every emotion flashing across her expression, searching for sarcasm or lack of surety, and finding none.

"How did you know that?" She breathed, staying completely still.

His breaths were shallow, and she could feel him trembling under her grasp. "Because I know you, Alex."

She wanted to pull her hand away from his, feeling the way that their skin sparked and hummed from the contact. It made her want to jerk away, made her want to run far, far away.

She had never felt this way before, never felt so drawn to another person like there were magnets between them. She couldn't remember a time when there wasn't a pull between them, wasn't an unexplainable connection. Maybe there always had been, from the moment that they met at the Boneyard, when he got her a drink and she had turned her back on him. Maybe she had been afraid back then too, maybe that's why she hadn't let herself think about him or that magnetic pull.

"Who was that girl?" She swallowed hard, both of them afraid to even think about moving. "Who gave you that cup earlier?"

"Oh, uh," He blinked, seeming surprised by her choice of question. She was too, if she was being honest. "Her name is Bri. We've been in school together since forever."

There was that twisty burning in her gut again. "She's into you."

He stare was unwavering. "Doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

"It just doesn't, okay?" His eyes were burning, and she felt like she might melt right then and there, her fingers still resting above his knuckles, hyper-aware of every groove and vein that she was feeling. "It doesn't matter."

"Tell me why." She said, hoping that she sounded unaffected, even though she knew that he could feel her shaking. Hell, he could probably hear her heartbeat too.

His hand was out from under hers in an instant, palms finding her cheeks, holding her face in his grasp.

Her breath caught in her throat, every inch of skin buzzing from the sudden closeness. She felt warm with his hands on her, like she was already starting to melt.

"Because I could never even think about her, not for a second." His words came out in a breath, rushed and trembling. "I couldn't think about anybody, actually. Not when you exist."

Alex couldn't breathe. She felt like she was floating over her own body, watching the whole scene play out from above like a dream. Like there was no way this way happening.

Somehow she managed to lift her arms, despite feeling like there was concrete in her bones. She placed her hands, that she could barely even feel anymore, over his as he continued to hold her face.

He shook his head like he didn't want his next words to leave his mouth, but could do nothing to stop them. "I know that you said that we're friends. And I respect that, I swear to you, but I can't change the way that I feel. We can forget that this conversation ever happened, go back to treasure huntin' and getting to trouble like we have been. I won't say anything about this ever again." He took a breath. "But you asked why, so...that's why."

Alex felt like she was going to cry again, only this time instead of feeling cold and alone, she felt warm, electrified, even. "I don't think we've ever been just friends."

His face softened, so slightly that it was almost unnoticeable, but she noticed. "I don't think so either." He whispered, like he was afraid she'd change her mind.

But she could never change her mind.

Not when he existed.

She leaned closer to him, inching her mouth closer to his. She felt his breath stall, her stomach pressed against his. They were so, so close, like they were trying to merge into one another. She didn't know if she could ever get close enough to him.

She only hesitated when her nose bumped against his cheek, pausing to use her grip on his hands to move his palms from her face down to her hips, giving her the freedom to tilt her head at just the right angle ━

Several loud crashes came from the direction of the party, making them both jump and break apart, hearts racing wildly. A chorus of screaming and whooping followed the sudden ruckus, making the distraction hard to ignore.

"Should we go..." Alex had to pause to clear her throat, surprised when her voice sounded like it hadn't been used in days. "Go check on things?"

"Yeah," JJ nodded, out of breath slightly. "We should."

They started back towards the crowd, and Alex kept her eyes in the ground, feeling disappointed with how awfully anti-climactic that had been.

She stopped walking, turning sharply to look at him. "We're not done here, I hope you know that." She said bluntly, tired of playing games and waiting. She was getting a bit impatient. This damn kiss better be worth it.

He came to a stop next to her, a corner of his mouth twitching upwards. "God, I hope not."

Then, he just kept walking. Leaving her standing there, mouth open, watching him go.

God, I hope not. Alex shivered before hurriedly picking up her pace to catch up to him, heat creeping up her neck and painting her cheeks crimson.

They pushed their way through the crowd, everyone shoving against each other as some kind of fight took place in the middle.

Alex stuttered to a halt when she saw Sarah amidst the chaos, putting her hands on John B to push him back, yelling at him to leave. Topper stood behind her, shouting insults and curses at him.

Kelce jumped in front of John B as he stepped closer to Topper. "She don't want you anymore, bro."

"Shut the hell up." John B seethed.

"What you gonna do, John B?" Kelce puffed up his chest. "Kill me like you killed Sheriff Peterkin, huh?"

In the blur, John B whirled around and nailed him in the jaw.

The crowd erupted with gasps and shouts as Kelce fell to the floor, holding his face where the punch had landed.

"Get him, John B!" JJ whooped, earning an elbow to the ribs by Alex.

Topper lunged for John B, shoving him to the ground, quickly getting him pinned down, hands around his throat.

"Stop!" Sarah yelled, watching with horror in her eyes.

Some people in the crowd started to shove and hit each other too, and quickly, an entire Kooks vs Pogues fight had broken out. Anybody who wasn't fighting had their phone out, recording the whole scene go down.

Pope ran forward to help John B, Kiara on his heels. Alex didn't know what to do or who to go after until Sarah was roughly pushed to the ground by the wild crowd.

Alex hit her knees next to her. "You okay?"

With a grimace, Sarah pushed herself into the sitting position. Slowly lifting her eyes to meet Alex's, she shook her head. "I wanna go home."

"Yeah, let's get you home." Alex held out her hands.

Sarah didn't take them, not yet. "Will you stay with me? I don't wanna be in the house by myself?"

Her words were still a bit slurred, although a lot clearer than earlier. Alex's heart squeezed. "Yeah, of course. I'll stay."

Satisfied with her answer, Sarah slapped her hands into Alex's, and the two girls managed to their feet. They ducked underneath swinging arms and dodged people's attempts to start something as they fled the party.

catie speaks!

hey....🫣

Y'ALL PLEASE DON'T HATE ME FOR DELAYING JJALEX MORE!!! i'm sorry, but when i said slow burn I MEANT IT BABY.

it will all be worth it in the end, i promise. not too much longerrrrr 🤭🤭🤭

any thoughts? theories?

anyways, thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it, please vote and comment if you enjoyed, follow be he notified when i update! love y'all!!!

virtual hugs,
catie!