Humans with T e a
He was in the middle of a random joke as his phone rang, making him flinch and pause his mini story to answer it, a little disappointed by the interruption.
"Heya Paps. Whatcha calling me for?"
"Sans!" The other end proclaimed.
"I was here because you were missing, and I wanted you to meet the humans I have found!"
He froze, the shift immediately obvious to the audience as he spun in his seat to face away from them.
"Uh, how many are there, bro?"
"I have safely counted them and there are 7 of them!"
"Safely?"
"Yes, I circled them three times!"
"Uh, Paps, you might have scared them."
"I am not scary, Sans! How does circling them three times make me scary?"
"It's not just that, it just- hold on a second, Paps." He hopped off his stool and started heading for the door.
"Ketchup with you guys later!" He called out to the others as Napstablook drifted after him, afraid of being alone in a crowd without a familiar face.
As soon as the door closed behind them, Sans returned to the phone.
"Papyrus, humans are sometimes scared of tall monsters. It's just a human thing, 'kay?"
"Oh? I was not aware of this!" The other end shuffled, then. "Do not worry, I am not scary! You do not need to fear me!"
Sans couldn't help but snort.
"Paps, that doesn't really work either."
"Why not? I told them so."
"Fear is just like that sometimes. Just, can you find Asgore? So they can have a proper introduction to monsterkind?"
"That is a brilliant idea, brother! I will take them to him right away!"
"Wait- hold up! Don't do that! Bring Asgore to them, not the other way around!"
"Oh? Alright! Wait here, humans, I will bring king Asgore to you!" The line clicked.
Sans groaned, leaning against the brick wall. "He's never found them alone before. Or this early."
"𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝.."
He glanced over a Napstablook. "Yeah, they are. Wanna come with while I make sure he doesn't get himself hurt?"
The ghost nodded, drifting closer until they overlapped again.
"Aight." Sans rolled his shoulders, walking around the corner and shifting locations into the sun. He turned, noticing Asgore answering a call of his own, the king already moving towards the entrance in concern. They nodded, and Sans leapt off the cliff, meaning to land on a bone attack when instead, he just stopped dead in the air.
"Nappy? What?"
"𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐.. 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢.."
He shook his skull, scanning the forest before spotting a truck and other vehicle in the distance.
"See the cars?"
"....𝙸 𝚍𝚘."
"Let's go there, they should be close to them."
He was then flying over, a little weirded out by the experience yet kept his cool, afraid of leaving his brother with adult humans.
He managed to maneuver into a tree, working with the ghost based on silent gestures as he perched above the loud voices, Papyrus marching back towards the mountain, a bunch of teenagers following in both fear and curiosity.
He hopped across several trees before landing ahead of the procession, simply walking out in front of Papyrus, who paused.
"Sans! There you are! I was wondering when you would arrive!"
"Yeah bro, I'm here now. Seven humans, huh?"
"Indeed! Behold!" He stepped aside dramatically, waving to the group. Sans winked at them, nodding.
"Yep, definitely humans and not rocks."
Papyrus squinted at him, but ignored the joke.
"Yes, and we are escorting them to king Asgore!"
"Sure, bro." He eased up more, knowing he could manage the situation as they started walking again.
"So Paps."
"Yes, Sans?"
"Since we're about to introduce these humans to the king, why don't we tell them what he's like?"
"A terrific plan! Humans! King Asgore is the king of monsters! He has led us as long as I can remember and is very fluffy!"
"They don't call him Fluffybuns for no reason."
"That is highly informal, Sans!"
"Oops."
They arrived at the rock face, Papyrus moving upwards.
"Sans! I am trusting you not to lose the humans! I will be- ahem- escorting king Asgore to meet with them, as is proper!" He posed, then continued walking up the air to reach the top of the cliff. Sans just snorted as the others freaked out about the "flying skeleton".
"What? He's just walking up." He explained vaguely, reminding the group of his presence.
"How??" One girl asked, wearing a top and shorts that barely qualified as either, blatantly snapping a picture of him.
Sans shrugged, recognizing the type.
"He went up instead of sideways. You're just not thinking fourth-dimensionally."
"But there's gravity."
He shrugged again, grinning wider as he wiggled his phalanges.
"Magic."
He then pocketed his hands, grabbing his old favorite tool as he did so, sauntering to the nearest and most approachable human.
"Anyway, the name's Sans."
He raised his hand, keeping the secret weapon hidden.
"Sans the skeleton."
The boy took his hand, flinching before staring at him as the whoopie cushion did it's job.
There were a few snickers as he drew back.
"Heh! The old whoopie cushion in the hand trick! Never gets old!"
"You have a whoopie cushion?"
"Yep. Every good prankster has one. Anyway, I don't see any good path down for them to take, why don't I take you on a shortcut up?"
"To.. meet your king?" Another asked.
"Yep. You're the first humans we've seen on the Surface since the Barrier was broken."
"What?"
"Surface of what?"
"What barrier?"
He chuckled, waving for them to follow as he headed into the trees.
"That there's a long story. But the short version's that there was a war between humans and monsters long ago, and humans locked us away with a magical Barrier that could only be broken with the power of seven human Souls uniting with a monster's. That's not exactly what finally broke it, but still pretty close."
"This all sounds really made-up."
He glanced back at the one who said that.
"Do I look imaginary to you?"
"Could be a really good cosplay and you're larping." The human crossed his arms.
Sans blinked, then snickered.
"You know what, you're lucky I know what that weirdness is. So here's what, I'll break it to you gently so you don't get so shocked by the others."
He summoned three bone attacks and sent them over- not to harm, but to be held. The one he'd shaken hands with lightly touched one before plucking it out of the air.
"How did you even..?"
"Magic, obviously." Sans chuckled before exiting the treeline.
"We're here."
"We didn't even go up!"
"What? A shortcut's a shortcut." He grinned, vanishing the bones as he approached the entrance to the Underground.
The king noticed him almost immediately, already facing them as Papyrus had his backside to the group. Asgore shushed Papyrus and paced over, anxious.
"Greetings. I am king Asgore. I do not mean to pry, but are there any among you that are sorcerers or wizards of any kind?"
"Relax, big guy. Humans lost their magic centuries ago." Sans reassured him. Asgore blinked, Papyrus and Undyne arriving behind him.
"Wait, where'd you learn that?" The fish lady abruptly asked.
"Oh, they told me on the way up here." He lied easily, winking at the king with a knowing look. Asgore hesitated, then understood.
"Would you all like a cup of tea? I know it is quite a long walk to reach this peak."
"Nah, we took a shortcut."
Asgore chuckled, waving for them all to come with as he turned. Undyne smirked as she turned on Papyrus.
"Why don't either of you ever tell me how he does that, huh?"
"What are you talking about? My brother is merely being lazy." Papyrus proclaimed as they followed. Undyne grinned explosively and tackled him.
"His shortcuts are too short!"
"NO! Do NOT nOoGiE the skELetON!"
She only cackled as Papyrus flailed, not even all that interested in the question.
Sans chuckled, watching them. The sound caught her attention, and she pointed at him, still holding Papyrus in a headlock.
"You're next!"
"Uh oh." He spun on the heel to speedwalk away, but the captain was too fast, lunging. Unfortunately for her, he walked right off the ledge, dropping out of reach to the bottom of the cliff hundreds of yards down. There were several gasps as everyone rushed to the ledge, only to hear him chuckling behind them.
"Ssaaaaannnsssss! I told you to stop fooling people like that!"
"Every time!"
"Every time you fall for it is another time to fall off a new shelf."
"Can you teleport?!" One human stuttered in disbelief. He hesitated, not expecting them to be so smart given their appearances.
"Me? No. Just a neat trick. Maybe a shortcut here and there through time and space." Wink.
"I told you to stop pranking others through time and space!"
"Whoops."
He glanced behind himself at the hallway leading into the Underground, muttering under his breath.
"Nappy, can ya float me to the door in a sec?"
The ghost silently flickered a yes as he turned back around.
"Welp, guess that's my cue to leave."
"What cue?" Undyne questioned as he crouched.
"No clue. Just gonna spirit away now. Ciao!" He saluted as he hopped up and started hovering backwards, much to the amazement of everyone present.. except Asgore, who was struggling not to laugh.
"When did you learn to float?!" Undyne spluttered in disbelief.
"I'm afraid that's a ghost of a question." He replied, amused.
"Why do I have the feeling that you just made a pun." Papyrus stated with narrowed sockets, igniting Sans into giggles.
"You did make a pun! Saaaannsss!!!"
"Sorry Paps, you know how- pfft- puns are a part of me on a spiritual level!"
Papyrus screamed, stomping his foot in exaggerated rage.
Asgore broke then, wheezing quietly into his paw as Sans rounded the corner and disappeared from their view. He kicked at the ground for a moment, then landed gently.
"Thanks, Nappy. You're awesome."
"𝙷𝚎𝚑.. 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞."
He then turned to look for Toriel, given how Asgore had offered tea to the humans and he knew the king didn't have any ready.
Instead, Sans was jumped by a fluffy hug that startled him.
"Sans! We were wondering where you were!"
He remained limp for a moment as the grip loosened, Soul pounding before he blinked and looked down at the beaming Asriel.
"Don't.. please don't spook me like that again."
"Oh. I'm sorry. I was just excited."
"Excited?" He blinked in surprise as Asriel lit up again.
"Yeah! I missed you!"
He glanced away awkwardly. "That.. wasn't what I was expecting. I was pretty harsh to you. Both of you."
Asriel shrugged. "You still cared in your own way. You helped us more than anything else in the end, anyway."
Sans hesitantly pat his little head, impressed.
"You really are a little angel, huh?"
"Pfft- I'm just glad for a second chance!" He giggled under the hand, leaning into it almost unconsciously. Sans had to resist how shockingly adorable it was, putting his hand away with a fond look.
"Hey, y'know where Tori is? Was gonna tell her something."
Asriel glanced down the hall, where the sunlight gleamed on the wall, stone glittering with embedded crystal fragments.
"The humans that arrived earlier than usual? He offered them tea without having any steeped yet, didn't he?"
Sans chuckled, watching the shadowy silhouettes play upon the wall.
"You know him pretty well, huh?"
"He is my dad. Come on, I can show you how we make it!" The kid tugged at his arm, leading him into the castle.
"M'kay, I'm coming, no need to get your tail in a twist."
The child scoffed but slowed down, eagerly guiding him to more private sectors of the castle, old places that had gone untouched for a long time until recently, looking like a whirlwind had swept through to clean everything and leaving many corners hurriedly missed in the cleanse.
Sans saw it all as they darted through the old corridors, passing the rooms he was familiar with and into areas he'd never ventured before, aged frames of paintings or yellowed child drawings on the walls, a stark reminder of the abruptly cut off lives of so dreadfully long ago.
Then they suddenly entered a very large kitchen that was sparkling, as opposed to the rest of the house. Toriel was already there, sleeves rolled up as she scrubbed dishes in the sink. She glanced over her shoulder.
"Oh, hello Sans. It is good to see your face. Asriel, what are you doing bringing him in here?"
"I'm showing him how we make our tea!"
She smiled, a little confused as Sans shrugged, "Why not?" then glanced at the doorframe behind him.
"I'd make a knock knock joke, but it looks like we're both on the same side of the door."
With a giggle, Toriel agreed. "It would seem so. Do not worry, there are plenty of other jokes we can use. After all," she held up one of her fluffy ears, "I'm all ears for them."
Sans grinned even as Asriel facepalmed.
"No bones about it, eh?"
They both shared a laugh as Asriel scoffed and went to wash his paws in the sink. "We need to hurry or As- Dad will be left alone without the tea he promised!"
"That would be embarrassing, wouldn't it?"
Toriel blinked. "Who did he offer tea to?"
"Oh, only seven humans."
She froze.
"Relax, they're harmless. I was worried too, because Papyrus found them, alone, and called me. Nearly died right then and there." He chuckled, Asriel moving away and pushing him up to the sink.
Sans shook his skull, sighing as he rolled up his sleeves besides the tall Dreemur.
"They are not.. alone with the humans, are they?" Toriel asked slowly, glancing fretfully at her son.
"Nah, Undyne's with 'em, and Alphys can't be far off."
She sighed softly, drying her hands with a burst of flame and heading for the fridge that was definitely a more recent installment compared to the rest of the kitchen.
"I am sure they can appreciate the cinnamon and butterscotch pie I made earlier." She explained while setting said pie on the counter, moving to grab a knife.
Sans was content to just stand and watch, but then he noticed Asriel standing very still, staring at the knife rack with an unrecognizable look on his face.
He didn't like that, not at all.
"Heya, what's our next step here, little guy?" He asked suddenly, stepping off the stepstool by the sink. Asriel flinched back into the present, spinning in place as he tried to remember.
"Oh! Teapot! Is there a clean one?"
"Yes, it's right in the upper cabinet to the right of the sink." Toriel answered over her shoulder as she cut the pie before hesitating as Sans reached over.
"Oh no, apologies, that was where I put the cups. The teapot is on the left, not right."
Sans dutifully shut the cabinet he'd been opening and turned to the correct side, phalanges twitching as the blue magic swung the door.
"You have five teapots." He deadpanned.
"We do make a lot of tea on some occasions."
"...Fair enough."
He shrugged and brought down two, taking the first in his hand and drifting the other to the child, who grabbed it with no hesitation and set it on the counter, immediately turning to the mini pantry next to the fridge and climbing a shelf, even as Toriel crossed the room to a cabinet, plates clinking as she fished out a certain set.
"Can you fill the pots, Sans?" Asriel called out while scaling another shelf, eyeing something high up in the pantry.
Sans shrugged, sliding the one on the counter into his free hand and turning on the faucet.
"𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚞𝚗.." Napstablook murmured as Toriel carried her chosen plates back to her counter. Sans hummed in agreement, muttering back.
"Things are always better with the right company."
"𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚑.." Napstablook said with an audible smile.
The exchange ended as he switched out pots, Asriel hopping back with a jar of dried leaves. The kid mumbled something to himself as he set the jar on the counter, picking up the pot with both paws, setting it on the stove as they ignited, putting one out as he switched the stove on, setting the power on high as the mana hissed, catching the magic flame and enveloping the blue pot decorated with green stems and sunflowers before dying down. The now blue-tinted blaze simmered at the bottom, Asriel flashing Sans a grin.
"Can you make a flame?" The child asked as Sans remembered to shut off the water and pour out the excess water in the pot he was holding.
"I mean, kinda? Mine's always either superheated or completely lacking in heat. Could never really grasp the talent, but it's still marginally better than my bro's. He has more of an issue with keeping it contained."
Toriel glanced over. "Well, for some, fire is difficult to control. But it sounds as though you put too much energy into yours. That is very rare, energetic magic. And I certainly didn't expect that from you."
He shrugged, waving the second pot over.
"What can I say? I've got two modes: zero and a hundred. I'm a lazy guy, so I prefer zero."
She turned half around as Asriel set the other pot to boil.
"I admit to some curiosity on the subject; could you perhaps show us?"
Sans shrugged, leaning on the counter.
"I could, but definitely not on something."
"Of course." She set the knife on the counter, most of the pie slices already neatly plated.
Shrugging again, Sans held up his left hand, palm side up as a blue light flickered, then blazed to life. A cyan flame danced on his hand, bright enough to bathe the already lit room in its glow.
"There's the usual." He began.
It suddenly darkened in color, flames stiffening as they began to draw in air and heat up, flaring as the room immediately started warming. They reached upward for nearly two feet, the base a whitish color fading through a faint cyan, directly into a deep royal blue. The flaring tips of the cone flickering through red.
"And that's the hot one."
"That is hot. Very hot." Asriel stated flatly out of shock.
"Yep." Sans agreed as the blaze flickered out, turning and rinsing his hand with cold water. "It's a bit uncomfortable sometimes." He admitted. "I'm not immune to heat like you."
"Wait, you're not?"
"Nope. High tolerance, but not immunity."
"Huh."
Both Asriel and Sans flinched as Toriel grabbed his arm, checking his hand. He used his free hand to shut the water back off.
"Water you doing there?"
"Checking for burns, of course. I'm sorry, I let my mind get ahead of myself." She let him go.
"You are alright, though?"
He chuckled. "Yeah, it's gonna take a bit more than that to hurt me."
"I'm impressed at that. Even the stove cannot achieve a white flame."
"It only has a little white in it." He argued lightly, glancing out the door.
"Nevertheless, I am still impressed. It makes me wonder just how hot a blaze you can generate."
"My skills are more than flames, y'know." He reminded.
"I am well aware of that, my friend. Just some harmless curiosity for a later time."
She glanced at Asriel, stepping back to her counter. "My dear, is it close to boiling?" He held his ear close to the spout. "I think in about a minute!" She nodded, returning to her very delicate work of setting the perfectly cut slices in particular arrangements on their plates.
As soon as she was looking away, Asriel lit up and waved Sans over. When he was close enough, the child whispered.
"What if you sped it up?"
He snorted. "I would vaporize it trying. Trust me, I tried that before."
"Not even like a tiny flame?"
"No can do."
Asriel sighed, pouting slightly. "Would have been cool."
"Eh, it's only a minute anyway."
"Yeah."
"What are you two talking about over there?" Toriel asked.
"That I've got the hot stuff." Sans easily replied. She snorted loudly, caught off guard.
"Sans, no!"
"Sans, yes."
"You are a terrible influence."
"What? No, I'm a fantastic influence. And I'm only half the influence of Paps."
A low airy hum began to sound from the first pot, the beginnings of a whistle distracting them. Asriel switched off the heat on that one, reaching for the jar that had been shoved back on the counter. Sans slid it over with a flick, the child nodding as he undid the clasp and pushed the pot away from the heat, suddenly remembering something.
"Uh.. Mom, where are the steeping jars?"
"The cabinet below you, dear."
"Thanks!"
Asriel reached into the cabinet under the counter, pulling out two large glass jars similar to the one full of tea leaves, but with spouts at the top that could pour out their contents when the lid was open, the clasp built around it.
"Wouldn't the hot water break that?" Sans asked, puzzled.
"Oh no, they're treated for heat resistance, they're good."
"Oh dang, I need some cups made outta that, we keep cracking or melting ours."
"And by we, I am sure you mean Papyrus and Undyne." Toriel remarked. He snickered. "Mostly Undyne."
They shared a light laugh before Asriel set the jars open on the floor, dumping a thin, crackling layer of leaves in each before grabbing the cooling pot, a low hum starting in the one still boiling as he began to pour. A cloud of steam erupted at first, billowing around his face before clearing up, the water browning as he handed the pot to Sans, closing the jar and locking it up.
Sans just set the pot in the sink, glancing between the short kid, huge jar, and high counter. Asriel gave him a knowing look, clearly having been in this situation plenty of times before.
"Lucky I'm here, huh?" He asked, winking as he floated it up and onto the counter.
Asriel stuck his tongue out at him, much to his amusement. The second pot finally hit a slight shriek, catching their attention. Asriel quickly shut off the heat for it and took a hold of the handle, moving to pour it in the second jar. Sans just stood there idly, watching the steam rise as it splashed into the container. A stray droplet struck his right tibia, something easily ignored as the last of the water trickled away, Asriel hurrying to close it- as if to prevent it from losing as much steam as possible.
Sans quickly moved it to the counter, leaning against the cabinet as he did so. "Now what? We wait?"
Asriel grinned. "We get the china and sweeteners out!"
"Oh cool."
"Mom, where did you put those again?"
"Shelf above the cups near the sink, my dear. I'm afraid Sans will have to help you reach them." She replied while very, very slowly sliding a pie slice onto a plate.
The child just glanced at the higher cabinet, then at Sans. "You can figure out how much to get out, right?"
"I think I got it, kiddo." He chuckled while turning around, peering up at the shelf inside and the sides of several large teacups. He glanced back at Asriel, finding the kid already opening the pantry.
"Shit. Little help, Nappy? Climbing might be a bit rude here."
Without a word, he was floating upward until level with the shelf, keeping his slippers on with a touch of blue magic as he browsed the delicate sets- yes, multiple different sets.
"You'd think you'd have a china cabinet for these bad boys."
Toriel blinked at him in surprise before replying. "We did actually, but it- and several sets as well- were damaged in an unfortunate accident."
"Yikes." He murmured, picking out 14 cups and accompanying plates, white with fancy green accents, red roses with green stems and leaves matching the other greens. He set them on the counter below, near the stepstool as he slid it over, Asriel returning with his arms full.
The kid stood on his toes to dump the load on the counter, then blinked at the cups, only mildly surprised at Sans just floating in the air.
"I think you forgot the creamer and pot for this set." He explained.
"Creamer?"
"Yeah, creamer. It's.. like a funky teapot, but smaller."
"A smaller teapot.. okay." He glanced through and spotted said items, grabbing the "creamer" in his hands while drifting the pot down.
It was somewhat more of an oval shape with a thicker handle, wider spout, and no lid.
"What's it used for?" He asked while returning to the ground, handing it over.
Asriel took it and giggled. "Depends on the tea. Creamer, like the name, or milk, or honey, or just something sweet to add in your tea like our personal recipe."
"And what's that?"
"Sugar, milk, starch, and a bit of honey with water!"
"...That sounds.. not gonna lie, it sounds disgusting."
"Pfft- if you put it together wrong, it is. It's for tea only, anyway!"
"That's fair." He admitted, watching as Asriel set the new ingredients on the counter beside the china. "So what now?"
A devious smile crossed the child's face as he held up a bag of brown sugar and honey jar. "We make the creamer!" With that, he set the items on the counter, whipping out a measuring cup set. "Can you get 4 and ¾'s water?"
"'Kay." Sans tugged out the two measures and turned to the sink as Asriel hopped to the fridge, Toriel smiling at him, having at some point started folding napkins. Sans blinked as he realized she was intentionally taking her time. Why? He couldn't help but wonder as he absently poured the measurements into the funky teapot that was called a creamer.
Asriel snorted as he returned with a large jug of milk in his arms. "No, we mix it in the mixing jar!"
"Hmm?" He blinked. Asriel pointed to the side of the creamer, a similarly sized jar sitting there inconspicuously.
"...Oh." He shrugged. "Sorry, kiddo. You know I normally make hotdogs, not tea." He explained while moving it to the jar.
"That's why I'm teaching you!" Asriel chirped while pouring a full two cups and a half into the jar as well. The container was now almost entirely full. Asriel slid Sans a ⅔ cup and a bag of starch as the kid started pouring honey in another cup. The skeleton watched him work while using blue magic to take care of his own "assignment".
They worked together and ended up putting a somewhat concerning amount of sugar into the mix, Asriel picking it up and flipping the lid closed, shaking it wildly with all his strength.
"Uh.. hey wait a minute, kid." He stopped him, a little concerned about the child's grip slipping and letting it fly. Asriel blinked at him as he took it.
With a grin, Sans tossed it up in the air. He was met with a little disappointment as Asriel watched calmly instead of panicking. The kid knew his tricks too well. The jar started rotating end over end, speeding up rapidly to the point of blurring somewhat. He kept at it for about twenty seconds before bringing it back down again, the mixture now a frothy, off-white color.
Asriel grinned widely. "That's really good! Really good!" He picked it up and held it over his head, peering at the bottom. "The honey didn't even stick at all! Thanks, Sans!" He bleated out while undoing the clasp and angling it towards the creamer pot. Sans chuckled softly as he watched him pour it in, the goat boy's tail wagging furiously.
He did notice the slight, thoughtful falter in Asriel's grin, but decided against saying anything. Asriel had a mind of his own, and obviously wasn't alone in his thoughts anymore.
"Uh, can you pour the steeping jars through the strainer into the teapot?" The young Dreemur asked with a faint wobble in his voice, pointing to said strainer on the back of the counter.
"Sure." He responded without question, raising his hand to lift the two jars and unlock them, pouring them at the same time with caution. The result was steam rising from liquid just below the rim, tea leaves floating as it flooded the strainer. Sans lifted it up slowly, flicking access water droplets into the pot before realizing he didn't know what to do with the strainer.
"Allow me." Toriel spoke up suddenly, reaching over his skull and taking the item from his hands, smiling as she turned back around, her actions with the strainer hidden by her bulk. Sans blinked twice, then shrugged, glancing at Asriel who was still miming the act of pouring the liquid into the creamer pot when the jar was empty, mind somewhere else.
Sans studied the look for a minute, and when he didn't snap out of it, he just gently took the jar from the loosely gripping paws. Asriel blinked back into the present then. "Oh. I'm sorry. I was- uh-"
"Don't worry about it, kid." He smiled while moving the jars to the sink. "I get it."
Asriel hesitantly smiled back as he set the china in its associated places; a bunch of plates on a large circular platter that held the teapot and creamer pot in the middle.
"Would you look at that." Sans commented. "We're gonna have a professional tea party."
Asriel spluttered. "It's not- it's not a tea party! It's tradition! A tradition thing!"
Toriel chuckled softly at that, only encouraging the skeleton.
"Traditional tea party. Nice."
"It- it's not my fault you like to eat trash!" Asriel pouted, crossing his arms. Sans grinned wider, picking up the set with blue magic. "Can't blame ya for never appreciating the quality of junk food."
Asriel scoffed, stammering for a response. "It- it's- it's trash!"
"Tasty trash."
"Alright, that is enough." Toriel's warm voice cut through, thoroughly amused as she picked up a few plated pie slices with decoratively folded napkins. "We must hurry."
Asriel grumbled but moved to help, only for both Dreemurs to pause as all dishes were lifted elegantly into the air. Sans winked. "What? Humans haven't even seen magic for centuries. It'd be cooler."
Toriel blinked, one hand lifted in surprise. "Have they? Whatever could have happened to their magic?"
"The Barrier." He answered simply, walking out of the kitchen with everything floating behind him. Asriel tugged on his mother's clothes to explain. "It sucked out all the magic from the Surface to keep us alive without breaking down."
"All of it?"
"Yeah. Breaking the Barrier let it back out again, but all the humans don't have magic anymore except for deep in their Souls. They don't even know about Souls anymore."
"That is.. unfortunate, on their part."
"They don't even believe it exists anymore, Mom!"
Sans chuckled to himself up ahead, thinking about how dire humanity's fate had become because of their own greed, fear, jealousy and power. What pathetic creatures they could be.
"Having fun, Naps?" He asked softly.
"𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚑.. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢."
"That's great. Tell me if it gets a bit much, buddy."
"𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚑... 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢.."
"Seriously. I don't want to force you into something you're not comfortable with."
A spark was the only reply.
Sans took it as it was, continuing on in his own bubble of companionable silence as Asriel went on explaining things to his skeptical mother.
They soon passed through the more familiar areas to hear chatter up ahead. The Dreemurs sped up behind him, somewhat anxious and eager to meet the humans.
It was very clear when they were spotted, as all conversation stopped dead. Sans regarded everyone with a sly smile. "Heya. Didja miss me?"
"Are those plates possessed?!" A random voice cried out in shock. Sans blinked in surprise as Asgore hid his amused grin. Undyne just snorted rudely. "No, that's just the dweeb's magic!"
"Hey." He argued amiably. "I identify as a nerd, thank you."
"Whatever, nerd. Lol."
"Sans!" Papyrus finally called out. "You're forgetting your manners! You're supposed to introduce the Lady Asgore and Tiny Asgore!"
Said king buried his face in both paws and snorted softly, Toriel's eyes creasing at the corners.
"Please, Papyrus. Call me Toriel." She tugged the little one to her front, hands on both shoulders. "And this is my son, Asriel."
"I'll be sure to remember that, My Lady!" Papyrus exclaimed in his usual excitement.
She smiled fondly. "I'm sure you will."
Asriel shouldered his way out of her grip and hopped up, grabbing a pie plate out of the air. "Do you like cinnabutts pie?"
There was a moment where he froze as Toriel's hands darted to her face.
"I-I meant cinnamon butterscotch pie."
"Uh.." "I guess?" A boy and a girl answered awkwardly. Sans chuckled, setting the china down at the table Asgore and a few of the lazier humans sat around.
"What are you doing with the Queen anyway, Sans?" Undyne piped up then, completely ignorant to addressing said woman at the moment. Sans snorted before ruffling Asriel's fur. "Kid decided to rope me in as extra help."
"Wait, how?! You never help cook!"
"Kids." He explained simply. Asriel stepped forth. "I guess it's kind of because he knows Mom."
"YOU KNOW THE QUEEN?!"
"Wh-hoh-oh-hoh-oh, calm down there, pal. I knew her through knock knock jokes and door puns."
"I like to imagine we are good friends." Toriel assured with a hand on his shoulder. Sans flashed her a smile. "Thanks, lady." She shot him a quick welcome before Undyne interrupted again.
"How did you manage to personally become friends with both the King and Queen and the Prince? The Prince!"
Asgore sighed as Asriel flushed a little beneath his fur, Toriel looking just as bashful.
"Undyne, please.." The king murmured, but the captain was on a roll and not backing down without an answer or a fight.
The tension rose, the rest of those gathered afraid to break the silence as Undyne glared at the unrelenting skeleton. About a minute later Asriel groaned loudly.
"He helped me come back, okay?"
Now her intense- but now bewildered- stare rested on the child that Toriel suddenly drew closer.
"Wait, how?!"
"Luck, mostly." Sans shrugged while approaching the table, a lone spark zapping at his collarbone as he collapsed into a chair beside Asgore.
"You don't just bring back the dead on luck, Sans! Especially you!"
He cracked a socket open at her as a few quiet gasps echoed around the room, grinning faintly.
"What? Alphys did it."
"That wasn't luck, that was her pure genius!" The captain gripped her previously forgotten new girlfriend close defensively. Said lizard was stuttering and blushing.
Sans shrugged again. "Meh. No big deal for her, she's Alphys."
Alphys' humility and awkwardness was astounding. Undyne snorted, confident in her girlfriend as she stood tall.
"What did you do, Sans?"
He hesitated for a long moment, staring around the room at the waiting audience. Toriel was concerned, but also curious. Asriel was refusing to meet his gaze, not knowing what to do. Papyrus was standing rather quietly in the corner, hoping for an answer but clearly ready for nothing.
Asgore was watching him, looking for him to ask for the interrogation to stop or not to. The humans around them were either staring expectantly like they were watching a good movie or uninterested, none of them really taking this seriously. Sans glanced over them all, thinking.
Then he shrugged.
"I completed a puzzle is what I did." He explained vaguely.
Undyne was understandably frustrated. "What the hell does that mean?!" He shrugged again, twisting the truth. "I found a red shard that looked funny and then found another that fit it like a puzzle piece. I just happened to keep finding pieces until they looked like a hollow Soul, and then I found something that fit into. Bada-bing, bada-boom, Prince is back."
Asriel slowly facepalmed as Undyne's face screwed up in irritated befuddlement. "Wh- what the hell does that mean?!" "Language!" Toriel sharply interrupted as the fish lady went on without noticing.
"You can't just find shards of a dead SOUL lying around! That isn't how it works! Souls don't lay around, they-"
"Human Souls do."
".. What?"
Sans leaned forward, carefully watching the expressions of everyone present.
"Human Souls stick around sometimes. Don't you know that?"
"...No. I didn't. ....That still doesn't explain anything, either. That's a human Soul, not a monster's!"
"Well, it was just the shell of a Soul."
"That still- this doesn't make any sense! Alphys, is any of this even possible??" She turned to the Royal Scientist in desperation.
Alphys stuttered unintelligibly for a few seconds before finding herself. "I-I mean not really, not unless he somehow h-had th-th-the p- the p- the pr- the pri- the Prince's dust on hand and S-S-Soul traits if it was shattered? Except there's no way to get those without.. not without killing someone..."
The gazes turned a little sharper upon him. Sans blinked. "I didn't kill anyone." He defended, shocked that he even had to say this- not to mention in front of his brother.
"Then how?"
"The traits came from already dead people." Asriel suddenly spoke up, defensive and panicky. Everyone turned to the child. "He didn't do anything! He was made to! I did it! He just had Chara's Soul! That's all Sans did! Wh- We- I- I did it! Chara killed Frisk! They didn't mean to, I swear! It- it was just- it was bad! I was Soulless! I wasn't me! I wasn't me I just- we just wanted- we- we- we- we-"
"Who's we?!" Undyne exclaimed, not knowing what was going on.
Asgore was already standing, approaching his son as Toriel wrapped her arms around him as he started breaking down.
"Stop! Please! I c- I can't!" Asriel cried out in a panic, mind obviously stuck somewhere else as he flailed at them. Sans saw all this and grew concerned.
"Hey, wait a minute, I don't think he feels okay with the crowding-" "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! GET AWAY!" Asriel screamed, another voice bleeding through.
Everyone took a step back at the sudden meltdown, both parents speaking over each other in concern as they both had overlapping questions and words, wanting to envelop the child in their embrace and protect him from whatever scared him- but it took a second for Sans to realize that Asriel was afraid of himself.
"Oh screw this." He muttered, standing up and pushing through the big, burly, furry arms then snapping his phalanges. Everything went suddenly very still, greying. Asriel gasped, trembling as he hugged himself. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just- I wanted- they were- I- I killed them- we- we killed them so mmm-many t-t-times.."
"I get it, kid."
He crouched down in front of Asriel, patient and keeping his distance as much as he could between the frozen figures of Toriel and Asgore.
"You want to tell them everything but don't at the same time, right?"
He trembled for a few moments, then hesitantly nodded.
"Just take a few deep breaths, then. Got it? Can you do that?" Asriel nodded again, practically gasping in, the air wobbling unsteadily back out.
"Good. There we go." He murmured, reaching out slowly and in full view of the goat child to take their paws in his hands.
Asriel flinched slightly, but allowed him to position one paw over a wrist. "Here's a tip I read about once." Sans started calmly, shifting on his feet as he made Asriel tap his own furry wrist repetitively. "When you start freaking out, just start tapping. That's it. Just tapping. No harm done." He let go, Asriel continuing as Sans rested his arms on his kneecaps.
"Now tell me. What's your favorite color?"
"My.. favourite color?"
"Yeah."
"I, uh.. ye... blue. Sky blue."
"Okay. What about your favorite thing about today?"
".... Making tea again. It.. it's like before, but it's not. And it's.. not nice, but not bad either?"
"It's different?"
".. Different."
He braced one kneecap against the floor and continued. "Is it a different you're okay with?"
"...I think so?"
"That's not a no."
"I guess not.."
Sans placed one hand on Asriel's shoulder, being sure not to make the other feel crowded.
"The past is in the past. There are no Resets anymore. You're not Flowey, and those mistakes don't matter anymore."
Asriel fell oddly silent, a strange look on his face.
"Alright?" Sans asserted gently.
"You might have Reset instead." The kid said softly, tone unidentifiably soft. Sans immediately tensed, appalled by the concept, but quickly squashing the external reaction.
"Even if I did, do I look like I'd use it?" He asked seriously.
"...No?"
"No? Is that a question?"
He sat down then, staring intently. "Kid, you know that I've dealt with Reset for so long without any choice in the matter, I can't imagine inflicting that on someone else, much less a kid like you. Understand?"
"... Okay."
"Asriel."
"Y- yeah. Yeah. I understand."
"Good. I'm not going to do that to you. At all."
"Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I guess we were scared."
Sans hesitated, then sighed, rubbing his face. "Chara. You did a lot of crap, but I told you already; I want to leave it behind."
Asriel stared at him, wide-eyed as the red glow in his eyes shone brighter, taking on a more vivid hue.
"You said you hated me."
He paused, a little caught off guard, but recovered easily.
"I hated what you did, kid. Not to mention how I had no idea what you were really doing."
Sans glanced around to gather his thoughts, then continued. "The point of Judgement is to understand motives and actions and dole out necessary consequences. If I don't know something, it messes it all up. And don't forget, that first time I was freaked out about the shit you pulled. I was terrified. I thought you had decided to kill us all and leave the broken leftovers to rot while you escaped scot-free. You know how every other Reset was after that."
"...Why didn't you do that to Flowey, then? He killed everyone too."
"Because I knew Flowey's curiosity and loneliness would get the best of him sooner or later and he'd Reset. You? I didn't know. I didn't understand your motives, kid. That's what scared me. It pissed me off too, but after our last little.. game, I knew what was going on in that head of yours."
"Oh.." They mumbled, shoulders falling as the red gleam dimmed back down to something less unsettling and more natural. Sans peered around at the room of frozen monsters and humans, then back at the child.
"What were you trying to tell them, anyway?"
Asriel surveyed the area as well, sighing shakily before speaking. "I wanted to.. I wanted to explain that I took the Souls.. well, Flowey did. They decided to let go and leave me with their traits until it faded so I could be me a little while afterwards, but then you came with Chara, and... I.. guess we thought about how I broke the Barrier and all the bad stuff we did. We don't.. we don't deserve this."
"Trust me on it when I say this.." Sans explained in a gentle murmur. "You deserve a second chance, more so than all of us. And Chara could use it to be a better person than before. It can be a redemption if you wanna see it that way, you know."
"A..."
"Yes. It's just a thought for you. I don't hold what you did against you. I just want everyone to move on and live on the Surface. That includes you, too. Got it?"
"Okay." He wiped his eyes, trembling slightly with the revelation.
"I'm gonna unpause things here, alright?"
"Yeah. Okay." Asriel murmured, head lowering as Sans stood back up near the place he'd originally stopped the time around them from.
"You're allowed to cry, kiddo." He explained before the dark tinge of the world vanished and movement began again, sound assailing them as the Dreemurs closed around their son, only for Asriel to suddenly erupt forth and lunge at Sans, wrapping him in a wide hug.
"The hell?" Undyne cried out, still baffled and rude as ever.
"Wow, you really like me."
Asriel snuffled into his jacket in reply as the king and former queen stared incredulously at them. Sans flashed an uneasy smile, not sure how the two would take this.
"He didn't do any bad." Asriel sniffed, face damp with tears.
"It's okay, kiddo." He patted the child's back kindly, letting himself relax, only to twitch slightly as an unexpected spark connected two ribs briefly.
He'd forgotten Napstablook.
What had the ghost been thinking throughout all this? He definitely wasn't frozen like everyone else, he'd been with Sans the whole time. It was a bit unsettling to know how easy it was to forget the shy ghost's presence there.
Asriel had tightened his grip to something closer to that of a death hold, squeezing Sans painfully before abruptly releasing the skeleton, rubbing an arm that a rib had dug into as he smiled sheepishly.
"I'm sorry."
Sans shrugged, patting his furry head. "'Sokay, kiddo. I understand." He reassured while internally groaning. It still had kind of hurt.
There was an awkward moment where no one knew what to do with themselves or each other.
Then Asriel shook his head and turned to leave. "I just need a minute, I'm sorry."
Toriel made to follow, Asgore more hesitantly reaching out after him.
"Asriel my dear, let me-"
"Mom. Please."
"A.. alright, my dear." She relented unwillingly, fidgeting in place as her son left the room, padded feet silent on the floorboards as he walked away.
A long, awkwardly muted minute passed before she abruptly took a step forward. "I am so very sorry, but this just isn't right. I must check on my child."
With that, she swept away.
"That was awkward." Sans finally commented, daring to relax.
Asgore distractedly faced the humans, some of which seemed to be sighing now that the drama was over, but it seemed to be more in disappointment than relief.
"I am sorry you had to endure that as our guests. Please, sit down. Have a cup of tea. Let us forget this for now."
Sans's eyelights flashed in excitement before he spoke smoothly, grin broadening.
"Hi Sorry, I'm Sans."
The words hung in the air for a good few seconds as their meaning set in, then Asgore slowly brought his paw up to his face, wheezing softly.
With that slow action, everyone reanimated. Papyrus groaned alongside a few humans.
"Ssaaaaannnsssss, you cannot honestly be spouting such terrible japes around humans and the King!"
"Yeah, that was awful." Undyne agreed drily, subdued from earlier. Alphys was busy giggling.
"Oh no-" Asgore raised his voice, chuckling. "It's quite all right."
"See? Even Fluffybuns likes my humor." Sans pointed out while reseating himself in the same chair from earlier. He expected the day to catch up to him as soon as he relaxed into the seat, but oddly enough he was still buzzing- not just metaphorically, given the ghost had eased up to start zapping again.
Papyrus let out a dramatic cry. "Nooooooo, you have tainted the king with your terrible sense of humor!"
Asgore chuckled freely at this point. "I'm afraid that my sense of humor has been this corrupt since before either of you had been born." He wiped an amused tear from his eye.
"NNNOOOOOOOO-YOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!"
Now several others were giggling at the ridiculous antics between them, one of the boys shoveling a slice of pie into his mouth as one of the girls hesitantly tried some of the tea. Sans watched as she tasted it, paused, then set it back down.
Whatever more that had passed between Asgore and Papyrus was lost to him as he spoke up.
"Y'know, tea typically comes with sweeteners."
The girl looked up, realizing she'd been seen as more turned to face her. Sans just leaned across the table, idly summoning a bone attack into his hand to nudge the creamer pot.
"Don't worry, it doesn't bite. It's made with lots of love."
Her face flushed as she awkwardly reached for it, only for the pot to float out of reach, lifted by blue magic as Sans went ahead and helped her.
She hid her face in her hand, completely embarrassed.
Her friend beside her seemed to come to the rescue as Sans put it away. "Do you all drink tea down here?"
"Many of us monsters enjoy tea often, but I do not imagine everyone enjoys it the same." Asgore explained.
"Oh yeah, it's definitely popular." Sans agreed while reaching into his jacket. "But there are tons of different tastes out there. Me personally, I love myself a good bottle of ketchup." He smirked while revealing it.
"Sans, no!" Papyrus yelped, moving across the room. "Sans yes." He argued before tilting it back with a wide grin.
"Sans!" The taller snapped while snatching it away. "You shouldn't drink such unhealthy things!"
"Hey, it's technically a smoothie."
"Oh, not this argument again!"
"Give me back my smoothie!"
They shared a staring contest, Sans indignant and Papyrus irritated before the shorter gave up and just hopped for it without warning. Papyrus managed to adjust just enough to not let go as Sans took a hold of the bottle, now hanging off the floor.
"Sans, let go!"
"Nah."
"Sans!"
"I paid for it."
"You did not and you know it."
"Okay, okay... My tab paid for it."
"You still haven't paid your tab!"
"Maybe I was going for a record."
"You already have the record! It's over 10,000G!"
"Sans, Papyrus, I do believe it would be better to sort out this issue with everyone on the floor." Asgore advised with an amused smile. Papyrus blinked at him, looking conflicted as Sans just shrugged with a huge cheshire grin, suddenly falling to the with both hands and arms still holding onto the ketchup.
A few loud gasps rang out among the humans as one choked on the pie.
"ARE YOU OKAY?!" One of the girls shrieked at a particularly high volume. Everyone else winced at the noise before Sans chuckled. "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up."
"You cannot seriously be doing this." Papyrus deadpanned while lowering the bottle with attached limbs. The arms swung around in the vain hopes of prying the prized possession out of the red gloved hand.
Sans kicked his legs out. "I'm helpless. Save me."
"I am not giving you the ketchup."
"Help, my stuff is stolen and I've been unarmed." He grinned wider at one of the humans muttering. "Oh my God."
The encouragement had him kicking his legs lazily. "Papyrus, how could you do this to me."
Said skeleton only scoffed, putting the ketchup on the table out of reach should Sans try to lean for it and his arms. Then he scoped his brother up and faced the others, particularly the king. "I apologise for his behavior, I am sure you can tell that this is somewhat unusual for him."
"Nah, I'm having fun, bro."
Truth be told, he wasn't wrong. Sans wasn't sure why he was doing this. He normally kept his shenanigans pretty quiet and for those he was comfortable with, but this time he.. he felt different. Less reserved. And this lack of inhibition allowed him the ability to push himself out of his brother's grip and roll to his feet, popping back up with a grin. Even Papyrus was flabbergasted, all gazes upon him as he snatched his limbs and ketchup back with blue magic.
"I'll be taking this."
"Sans!" His brother recovered, appalled. "Sorry bro, you know I can't be serious." He winked at the others while walking backwards for the exit. Papyrus fumed, though Sans didn't miss the slight concern in his brother's gaze.
It was why he was leaving. He was realizing he wasn't quite acting himself and wasn't sure why.
"Ciao!" He waved while lazily backpedaling around the corner. As soon as he was out of sight, he turned and started jogging away, Soul pounding with something that wasn't normal.
"....𝚂𝚊𝚗𝚜?"
He tensed momentarily, the ghost having been distant in the back of his mind.
"Oh hey, Nappy. Sorry about.. all that back there."
"𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍.. 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖... 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍, 𝙸 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢..."
"Nah, don't be. I'm just feeling a bit funny, s'all."
".. 𝙾𝚔𝚊𝚢... 𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝙸 𝚐𝚘..?"
He paused at a door leading outside. "Do you want to leave?" Sans asked sincerely, still willing to spare a moment for the anxious one. After a pause, the ghost seemed to sink in, the faint layer of electrical mans that ended just beyond his bones shrinking into them, where it seemed to switch and stay in place, as if a billowing fabric had been tightened.
"𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠... 𝙸'𝚖 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍.." Napstablook spoke, his voice somewhat muted as it reverberated within his skull. Sans blinked, a little weirded out by the sensation. He leaned against the wall, shaking his hand at the faint buzzing inside it as another's mana ran parallel to his own.
"What.. you wanna sleep? Like, in me?"
He felt an equivalent to a shrug. "𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠.. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎.. 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜."
Sans hesitated, thinking.
"I mean, I'm not necessarily bothered by it, but I was thinking of sleeping off my weirdness too. Wouldn't that..?" He trailed, still unsure of his own thoughts. Napstablook seemed to be waiting for him to finish. Sans gave up and shrugged. "I dunno."
He shuddered slightly at the buzzing before relaxing. "Welp, I'm going home. Kay?"
The ghost hummed softly in response, clearly comfortable. Only a little weirded out, Sans shifted locations cautiously, in case it resulted in another adverse reaction. As soon as he was in his room again, he realized how silly that was. Napstablook had already gotten used to those since the first time.
He took off his jacket and slung it at his self-sustaining tornado and collapsed on the mattress facefirst. He then blinked, aware that he still wasn't tired. Normally falling asleep was easy, the issue was staying asleep. Did he really have to deal with this now? He just wanted to sleep, forget the odd places his thoughts kept traveling, the ghost that may or may not be literally sleeping in him, the human Soul he-
No. No. He still didn't want to think about that.
Just as he started fighting with himself to avoid that internal conversation, he felt heavy. Sans rolled over, kicking off his slippers and getting all of him of the ratty mattress before weariness finally began to grip him. His very Soul still carried a strange feeling within, but he was at last, able to drift off.
With a thankful smile, his sockets slid shut.
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