"Well," Sidney finally said after a long stretch of tense silence. "That was... excessive."

"I know, right?" I said with an exhausted sigh. "Can't believe she wanted to keep all those things. I really should've asked her to give everything back—the jewelry, the designer stuff, the boob job. Well, maybe not that—"

"I was talking about you," Sidney interjected, shaking his head at me. "I get it. Stellan is a good guy. A great guy. A rich one who's actually not a dick. But whatever's going on between them is their business. You repo'd Rachel of Stellan's most expensive gifts and threatened her with stalking, arson, physical assault, exile and social annihilation."

I took a deep breath, avoiding Sidney's gaze for however long I could get away with it. "I can be very thorough."

Sidney raised a brow at me. "Kady, come on. Don't bullshit me."

"What?" I demanded. "Besides, what's with the whole whatever's-between-them-is-their-business spiel? You have your nose on everyone's business in this city you might as well write a gossip column too. Which reminds me, when you send this one in for a write up, can you please make sure Rachel is splendidly shredded in it? Don't hold back. I've got you even if you didn't tell me that Rachel was dicking around with Bobby fucking Castillano."

"I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure. Rachel always cozies up to rich people, especially guys she can wrap around her finger," Sid explained, rolling his eyes. "Now stop dodging!"

"Fine! I feel responsible, okay?" I blew out a breath and sank back into my seat. "I introduced them at my birthday last year, remember? By the end of the night, Rachel was straddled on his lap at my fucking gazebo. I practically pushed him to go with her."

"Sure but they were full-grown adults at the time, Kady, and perfectly capable of making their own decisions no matter which way you encouraged them," Sidney explained. "And as you pointed out, Stellan is extremely intelligent. He knew what he was getting into with Rachel."

"I see intelligent people in bad relationships all the time," I countered. "Intelligence doesn't mean immunity and definitely not when the head thinking is the one Rachel's got her fangs in. You know, when she's doing the throat floss."

Sidney groaned. "You have a point but still... If Stellan wanted the stuff back, there's a legal route he can take. You didn't have to practically rob Rachel pointblank on his behalf."

"Maybe I didn't have to but I wanted to," I said stubbornly. "I feel guilty and you know guilt is one of the things I absolutely refuse to feel for anyone or anything."

I let out a long, liberating exhale and slumped back into my seat, lifting the engagement ring to study it closely. "I still remember Stellan's face when he came to talk to me at their engagement party. He doesn't talk to me much—probably because he doesn't like me—but he came up to me anyway and thanked me for introducing him to Rachel. He had a big smile on. You know the one. It's the one that lights up his whole face and makes his eyes crinkle in the corners. You can see it even with his glasses on."

"No, I don't, but clearly you do," Sidney muttered under his breath but I ignored him. My mind was already trailing back to that night four months ago, when I'd been ready to bolt out of that party in my six-inch hooker heels because they didn't have enough alcohol to get me as drunk as I needed to be to last through the night.

Despite Rachel's efforts to make him dress up more often, Stellan had been sporting his usual style—dark jeans, a white shirt and a tweedy-looking-blazer. He suited up when the occasion called for it but Stellan was never flashy or obnoxiously vain despite his wealth. The man always looked so dang approachable even for people he didn't like, me included.

"I'm glad you made it," he'd told me, his voice so warm and friendly I almost believed him. "I insisted that Rachel abduct you if necessary because you needed to be here tonight. This whole thing would've never happened if it hadn't been for you. We owe you a lot."

Then why the fuck didn't you just leave me alone? was what I'd really wanted to say but didn't. Instead, I'd smiled and lied through my teeth about how great it was and all, and that I wished them well. I'd mostly meant it when I wished them well even if some part of me somewhat resented it. It was good to see them happy together but I hated them just a little bit for it. That's not just me, right?

"Anyway, that's why I had to do it," I told Sid as my memories of that night receded in my brain, back into the lockbox I usually avoided opening. "I probably should return all these things to him tonight though before Rachel calls the police and they come searching and I still have all of them. I wouldn't put it past her to try."

"You're probably the last person he wants to see at the moment considering he has a wedding to cancel and all that," Sidney advised. "Maybe give it until tomorrow. Just send him a text or something to say you have them so he at least knows."

"That's probably a better idea." I took out my phone and opened a blank message template. I hesitated, not knowing what to say. I only had his number because he'd texted me once when he was organizing a surprise birthday party for Rachel. "It gives me time to cool off."

Sidney snorted. "Kady, you're not the one who just got jilted here. You're merely a spectator. If anyone needs to cool off, it'd be him."

"I can't imagine him angry," I said. "Even at someone who deserves it ten times over."

[Hey, it's Kady. I know it's a bad time but I need to give a few things back to you.]

My thumb hovered over the send button. It was a cold open but I didn't know the protocol in approaching someone who just got dumped, especially when I had a hand in his fate.

[Hey, it's Kady. Just found out that bitch played you all kinds of low. I've fucked her up some but I've still got time so don't you worry. Anyhoo, I have all the fancy stuff you gave her. The only thing she gets to keep is the fear of God I put in her heart.]

Ugh. Show a little class, woman.

[Hey, it's Kady. I've heard the unfortunate news and you have my sincerest regrets. I have some things from Rachel that should be returned to you. Let me know when you can spare me a few minutes especially in these trying times.]

Double ugh. Just no. You're not a Hallmark card.

[Hey, it's Kady. I need to see you tonight. Let me know when you have a minute. Thanks.]

And before I could think about it twice, I hit Send.

Then I smacked myself on the forehead for forgetting to mention why I needed to see him. Just went and made it sound like a demand.

Whatever.

I didn't expect a reply anyway.

If I were Stellan, my phone would likely be smashed into pieces already. Not because I'd be heartbroken. More like I'd be hella pissed. And unable to kill the person to blame.

So I tossed my phone back into my little clutch and tried hard not to keep checking it every thirty seconds. And exactly ninety seconds later, the highball I'd just gulped down backed up in my throat and nearly came through my nose.

[Stellan: At my shop right now. I'll send Winslow to pick you up.]

Winslow was Stellan's all-skills, all-modes guy. Driver, bodyguard, right-hand, etc. According to Rachel, he was there when you needed him, invisible when you didn't.

[No need. I can get there fine.]

[Stellan: I don't like it.]

[Makes no difference to me.]

Actually, it did a little and that was one of the things that warded me off from the moment we met. I have and will continue to live my life without worrying about making some guy happy. The only time I ever had the slightest hint of that urge was the night I met Stellan.

[Stellan: Maybe we should meet up another time.]

It was definitely a better idea because maybe then neither of us would be too drunk or wired from having the world turned upside down in the last twenty-four hours but I couldn't find it in me to pull back.

I was a maniac looking to crash and burn.

[Now is just fine.]

It took an excruciating three minutes before he replied.

[Stellan: Alright. I'll send you the directions.]

I knew where the shop was but I waited for him to send me the location anyway. Rachel had mentioned it before. It was some kind of reconstructed warehouse at the outskirts of the city. She kept calling it his 'man cave' except it didn't have a ton of TVs or a pool table and a bar. It was filled with 'tech junk' as she called it. She'd always hallelujahed whenever he'd hole up in there—and apparently he could for days—because it meant 'me time' for her. She'd moved in with him like a month after they started dating, getting those claws in as deep and as quickly as possible.

Total A-hoe. Like asshole but female.

I just straightened out of my seat and was tipping back the rest of my drink when another text came through.

[Stellan: Bring some alcohol, please.]

My eyes widened and I wasn't sure if I should laugh or not. Whether he was just about to start drinking or had just ran out, trust Stellan to say please even at a time like this.

Well. Alcohol coming right up.

"I gotta go!" I told Sidney as I launched to my feet and grabbed my clutch. "Totally had fun. It was a blast. Thank you. I'll see you Sunday for a late lunch."

"Where are you going?" Sidney asked but I was already hopping off the last step and into the crowd. With a celebrity DJ guesting tonight, the place was packed but even blindfolded, I can find my way to the bar.

"Nash! Over here!" I urgently beckoned the bartender who was all the way at the other end of the bar. "I need a Laphroaig 10."

Nash walked over to me so slowly, looking confused. "You mean a whole bottle?"

"Yes," I said, adding for fuck's sake mentally. "Unopened, from your stock. Just add it to my tab."

"Oh, and I want those dry ribs to go," I added when I saw a waitress arrive at the bar with a small platter for another customer. "Nash, give Ashley a take-out box or something."

The staff knows me well considering they see me on an almost weekly basis but they seem to be having trouble with my unusual requests. Ashley glanced at the guy who'd been expecting the food then back at me, clearly torn.

I sauntered over to the customer who was luckily a guy in his early twenties and flashed him a big grin and a hint of cleavage. Hopefully, he was straight. "Hey, I have to rush out to see a friend who's just been dumped and is inconsolable. Ashley here will bring you out another platter right away if you'd be so kind to let me take this one."

The guy's eyes widened, dropped to my chest (which was really showing more than a hint), and jumped back to my face.

He smiled. "Of course. Sure. Take it. It's on me."

I beamed. "Aw, you're too sweet. Thank you."

He brightened up even more. "No, it's all good. You're really a... uh, a good friend."

I was giggling for effect, watching Nash in my periphery as he rolled his eyes and took the tray from Ashley.

"You're um, you're..." the guy stammered, still gazing up at me. He was sitting on a stool but with me at five-seven plus four-inch heels, he was eye-level to my chest. "Aren't you Kady Lynn Jones? I have a magazine with you on the cover."

I had a few covers but my last one about six months ago was of me straddling a big, black Harley in an electric pink string bikini. It flew off the shelves, mostly purchased by young guys like this one, but also by dads and uncles and grandpas and teen boys. Yes. I just had to make it weird. Real life is weird. And often perverted.

"Can I take a picture with you?" the guy went on before I could even confirm my identity. He was already whipping out his phone. Thank God it was just his phone or there'd be human entrails to clean off the floor.

"I'm just waiting for my friends but they're going to totally hate me for this and that'll be so awesome," he finished, his face practically glowing.

Nash had disappeared into the back to get my bottle so I was stuck there for the next thirty seconds.

"Sure. Why not?" I said as I stepped sideways to let the guy stand next to me, his left arm hoisting up his phone. "Keep your hands to yourself, please, or you'll lose them. Thanks."

Whether that threat of mutilation registered or not, I didn't care as I grinned up at the camera and waited for the flash. I quickly stepped back and nearly sighed out with relief when Nash reemerged with my liquor and food.

"Awesome! Thank you!" I said as I practically snatched the items off Nash's hands. "I owe you guys big time. See ya!"

I rushed out of the bar and into the back of a taxi and after it sped off, I sent a quick text to Sidney to hand Nash and Ashley a hefty tip from me.

When I finally had nothing else to do but sit and wait, reality hit me.

I was going to see Stellan in ten minutes or so.

All by myself.

Just the two of us.

In private.

This is a terrible idea.

I couldn't dispute the voice in my head.

It's too late now. I can't leave him hanging like Rachel just did.

That wasn't entirely accurate. I could still turn around. I had no real responsibility toward the man. But I was being pulled under anyway and apparently, I wasn't doing a damned thing to fight it.

I was going to fucking drown.

The shop maintained the look of a warehouse from the outside. It sat on a small piece of industrial land right on the edge of Crescent Creek which carried the run off from the ocean into the interior of the city, right along the border to the next town.

The small parking lot was empty except for the black Land Rover I've seen Stellan drive around.

The cab driver looked around and asked me if this was the right address. He wasn't weird to be skeptical about it. It did look like a spot where you'd trip on a dead body. I assured him it was, thanked him and dumped my ass out of the cab.

It wasn't a long walk to what looked like the main door where I thought I'd have to spend ten minutes knocking. There must've been cameras or sensors discreetly mounted on the building exterior because the door opened when I was about a foot away from it. No one stood on the other side of the dimly lit entrance.

"Now, we just have to wait for him to jump out with an axe," I muttered under my breath as I slowly walked through the short hallway that was lit by industrial wall sconces. The only thing I could hear were my ragged breaths and the clicking of my heels. "Maybe this is really why Rachel dumped him. He's actually a serial killer."

"I hate to disappoint you but I'm really not."

"Jesus, Stellan," I hissed after my heart nearly leapt out of my body when his voice boomed all throughout the building. "What's with the PA system? Is this a school or prison? Because those are the only two places where it's acceptable to use it."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to spook you," he said still on the damn PA system. "The place is rigged with my version of a through-the-earth comm system that I developed for a rover project we were testing several hundred feet underground. This is one of the initial designs—still quite rudimentary."

"And you have it on so you can hear the rats scurry around?" I asked out loud even though it was clear he could hear the slightest noise I make.

I found my way to the center of the building where the second level opened to the ground floor. A spiral staircase in a corner connected them. There was a huge skylight that let sun and moon peek in depending on the time, warming a space that was all steel and concrete. There was an assortment of large work tables, equipment of all sizes and materials of all kinds. It looked like perfectly organized chaos and he was nowhere to be found in it. "Or is it so you can spy on people while they're using your bathroom here?"

I heard the faint smile in his voice. "I usually have it on at night here. Just because of the area we're in."

Before I could reply, he added hastily. "Not that you were in any real danger coming here. There's a network of cameras set up outside that catches all traffic from every direction, including the creek."

"Well, what if the driver decided to skin and salt me in a back alley way back from here?" I asked because I couldn't resist it even though I was well aware I was the one who insisted on coming alone. "You have satellites to pick up on my cab or what?"

A long pause before a quieter answer. "Well, yes, there is satellite surveillance for the immediate perimeter, but I had Winslow no more than three car lengths back from your cab so he would've hopefully made it there in time."

I frowned because I didn't notice a tail. And because Stellan just couldn't help himself despite what I said.

But then, in hindsight, if my attempt at a joke had actually happened, I would've been so, so, so glad to have Winslow tailing me. No one wanted to be a dumpster find, even bad bitches like me. So I wasn't going to flay Stellan alive for overriding me on that one.

Jesus, Kady. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Yeah. The thought of Stellan overriding me flashed one searing hot image in my filthy mind. And it was stuck there at the moment, just as I looked up to see Stellan coming down the spiral staircase.

My fantasy had him totally naked but I wasn't going to complain at the sight of him in faded jeans and a sweatshirt with the sleeves rolled up. The rusty brown shade of his top brought out the warm tones of his deep auburn hair and the lighter shadow of a beard along his jawline.

Okay. So he wasn't totally naked in my mind—he had the black-rimmed glasses on.

"Hello, Kady. I know it's technically the next day now but happy birthday."

I had to slowly ease the breath that was lodged in my lungs so it wasn't too obvious I'd been holding it in.

What is it about us on my birthday?

"Thanks. You don't look too bad," I said instead.

His brow arched in question.

"Not bad for someone who, you know..." my voice trailed off and I fought the urge to look away guiltily. "Just got dumped."

His lips thinned into a line but I couldn't be sure if it was in a frown or if he was resisting a smile. "You'll never make a career in counseling. But that's probably for the best."

I narrowed my eyes. "Don't pick a fight with the person who has the alcohol or you'll have to live through an even longer night completely sober. Unless you don't really need it. I'm gonna be honest—you don't look nearly as devastated as I thought you'd be."

His shoulders rose and fell on a deep exhale, his hands shoved into his pockets. "I've had some real devastating things happen in my life. As... disappointing... as this feels, it's nothing like that kind of pain."

My first instinct was to run to Stellan and wrap my arms around him, taking away what was still left of that old pain. But a hug would lead to more given the shaky status of my self-control tonight so I stayed my ground.

My next instinct was to repeat what he just called this fiasco with Rachel.

Disappointing?

Well. I'm glad that's all it is but at the same time, wow, that's sad. You were going to marry someone who just disappointed you when it turned out they had other plans?

"Can I tell Rachel you're just disappointed?" I blurted out because again... self-control slipping farther here. "That you're not a heartbroken heap of mess?"

His brows scrunched up in curiosity. He has very expressive brows. "Why?"

"Because I'm petty like that and she really needs to be taken down several pegs."

Stellan smiled faintly and continued down the stairs. "I'm not completely unaffected. I'm feeling a lot of things right now—disappointment, primarily—but it's just not that monumentally world-ending."

"Oh." Now I was a little disappointed. "Are you disappointed because you're not living happily ever after with her?"

I held still, the air trapped in my lungs again, as Stellan walked over to me. My eyes hungrily took stock of every feature because we'd rarely stood this close together by ourselves since my birthday last year. He was as perfect as I remembered him and he smelled clean and comfortable, the warmth from his body luring me to stand just a little bit closer.

"I'm disappointed because the future I thought we had seemed ideal," he said. "But now all of it just seems like a complete waste of time."

He leaned closer and I almost gasped out loud but all he did was put his hand around the bottle I'd been holding to my side. His fingers brushed mine as he took the whiskey, his eyes never leaving mine. "I hate wasting time. We only have so much of it."

I know that Stellan's mother died of cancer. It explains his perspective.

"That's why I live large and loud," I said with a crooked smile, lamely trying to lighten things up. "I'll only be this young and alive once."

He grinned. "And you're a sight to watch. I sometimes wish I can be a little wild like you."

I blinked, taken aback. "That's weird. I thought my wild side is exactly why you didn't want to be around me."

He looked confused. "I never said I didn't want to be around you. But since I'm not exactly known for living large and loud, Rachel said we'll just bore you to death."

My mouth opened. "I never—"

My mouth snapped shut because the light bulb went off and my temper blazed. "Rachel said that, huh? Just as she said you didn't approve of my lifestyle so you wanted to avoid me. She said a lot of things that conveniently put us at odds of each other."

Vision in a narrow haze of red, I whipped around, ready to march out of there and find that manipulative bitch so I could scalp her. "Don't finish that whiskey till I get back after—"

"Kady, don't."

I stopped in my tracks not because of his words but because of the hand he had wrapped around my forearm. His hold was loose but arresting. The warmth of his skin, the simple contact, was what ground me on the spot.

I slowly turned around, heart hammering in my chest at the awareness that he hasn't removed his hand yet. "I'm really pissed off right now."

He laughed and all fury leeched out of me in an instant. "I can tell but I need you here."

"You do?" I asked stupidly. See. This is why I can't be around Stellan.

"Yes," he answered. "I have a whole bottle of whiskey and a lot of angst to process. You're the perfect company for it."

"I've got dry ribs, too," I added belatedly because why not.

His eyes crinkled as he glanced down at the take-out box in my other hand. "I suspected that. Even more reason for you to stay."

"I don't think it's a good idea," I said. "I tend to fuel the fire. I'm going to be a bad influence on you."

"At the moment, I welcome it a hundred percent," he reassured me, releasing his hold as he stepped back. "So? Will you stay with me?"

Forever and ever.

Fuck.

No.

Get it together, Jones.

"Only because this is kind of my fault," I hedged. "If I didn't stupidly push you to Rachel, you wouldn't have been in this mess."

He surprised me when he didn't say anything. Just looked at me with a strange light in his eyes.

"Remember? My party last year?" I prompted even as I mentally kicked myself for reminding him of what I should be making him forget.

"I remember," he said softly, a smile ghosting across his lips. "I remember you."

That response didn't make sense but before I could clarify, he turned away. "And none of this is your fault. I don't blame you for anything and you shouldn't either."

"I want to insist that you're wrong but it's going to be an endless debate so let's just walk away from that one for now," I said with a long sigh. Regardless of the dozen or so reasons why being here with Stellan tonight was a bad idea, I knew I wasn't going anywhere. "How about we start drinking before this gets too heavy? Do you have glasses here somewhere?"

"Over there in the kitchen," he said as he started walking toward a back corner. "I've got some ice. And plates and napkins. A microwave if anything needs reheating."

"You have a whole kitchen here?" I asked as I followed him, quickly taking in all the things on his work tables as I walked past even when I didn't recognize many of them.

"Just a mini one with enough amenities to keep me fed and alive," he said, turning to take the box of ribs from me as we arrived at what looked like a wet bar with a small folding table and two chairs. "I've got a bed up in the loft too."

That wasn't an invitation to join him in it but my mind went there anyway.

I swallowed hard as I watched him take out a couple of glasses that were close enough to the size of a tumbler. "Really."

"When I'm working on something, I could spend days here," he said. "I don't really rest until I'm about to drop dead so it's kind of handy to have somewhere to face-plant every now and then."

I laughed. "I can't imagine you face-planting anywhere."

"That's because you haven't seen me work," he said as he poured our drinks.

I glanced around. "Did Rachel ever stay here with you?"

I really shouldn't open my big mouth sometimes.

"Not really," Stellan said with a shrug. "She came to see it once and never came back. I admit. It's not very pretty in here."

I raised a brow at him. "The interior design isn't the incentive to come here."

Stellan gazed at me before a smile stretched across his face. "Thank you, Kady."

God. He's reading me like an open book with a dog-eared page and highlighted text.

I looked away and dropped my clutch on the counter, remembering my other reasons for being here tonight. "By the way, I have things to return to you."

He watched in silent amusement as I laid out the engagement ring and keys on the counter. "Kady... Did Rachel return these to you voluntarily?"

"Of course," was my automatic reply. When he said nothing, I squirmed. "It was voluntary—after I convinced her that it was the only option available. What? I'm just really persuasive."

He laughed and shook his head a little. "I didn't really want any of these back. She can have them."

"No, she can't," I said angrily, pushing the items toward him. "You don't have to keep the ring and the car. Sell them and donate the money to charity or something but for God's sake, don't donate to the Rachel Miller Sugar Baby foundation more than you already have."

Stellan studied me for an ungodly long moment and since it was my brilliant idea to show up here, I had no choice but to stay put and take it.

"Why?" he finally replied. "Why go to this length?"

I could name several reasons but I had a feeling Stellan was only looking for one.

I took a deep breath. "Because you deserve better and if it's in my power to give it to you then I will."

I didn't quite mean to put it that way, sounding as thick with seething emotion as it did, but it was out now and there was no taking it back.

If he laughed at me, I could always bash him on the head.

But he didn't laugh.

He leaned close, forcing all the air in my lungs to retreat, and stopped just when his lips were a breath away from my forehead. "May I?"

"Uh-huh," I said, unable to form actual words, my eyes fluttering close briefly as he pressed a light kiss there.

Then he pulled away and smiled at me.

"I have a greenhouse on the roof," he said, grabbing the bottle of whiskey. "It has a great view of the night sky and the creek. Wanna come up and sit with me there? Might calm you down."

"I don't need calming," I grumbled as I picked up my glass and the plate where we'd dumped the ribs. I was super glad he moved on after that too-blunt of a confession from me but I wasn't going to make that obvious. "But fine, I'll sit with you to make sure you don't jump or something crazy like that."

He glanced down at my feet. "I wouldn't recommend heels. The stairs can be tricky."

I expertly toed off my heels while balancing my drink and food in my hands. "Don't think I'll take more items off after a drink or two."

"Wouldn't dream of it," he said as he led me up the stairs. "I only have so much restraint."

I froze. "What did you just say?"

"Nothing," he said without glancing over his shoulder.

I'm pretty sure I heard him clearly but I don't know what to do with what I thought he'd said so I told myself to get a grip and stop reading into everything.

I'm just here to drink with him and keep him company after a shitty break up.

That's all.

Right?

*****

Ninya's Notes:

I thought I'd surprise you with another upload. I'm supposed to post chapters weekly but I felt like the last one needed a close follow-up to maintain momentum on how Kady's feeling after that confrontation with Rachel.

I'm so glad to see a lot of positive reactions to Kady even if she does sometimes come across as being very aggressive. It's part of her journey. You'll see a little more of her past and her background come to light in the following chapters so stay tuned.

Hope you like this one. And keep you in suspense till the next post. 

What do you think's going to happen? LOL. It's probably not that much of a mystery.

Hope you have a great week and I'll chat with you again soon!

♪♪♪ Chapter Soundtrack: This Feeling by The Chainsmokers ft. Kelsea Ballerini ♪♪♪

https://youtu.be/YuPzpoC3QNc

I'll tell you a story before it tells itself
I lay out all my reasons, you say that I need help
We all got expectations, and sometimes they go wrong
But no one listens to me, so I put it in this song

They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest
They got their hands at my neck this time
But you're the one that I want, if that's really so wrong
Then they don't know what this feeling is like