It all happened nine years ago. I got to know that I was pregnant and Simon and I were the happiest persons on planet earth. Then month two of my pregnancy came along with many problems and I lost the baby just two weeks after we were told we would become parents. My world was shattered into tiny little pieces and so was Simon's. Instead of talking and easing the pain of each other both of us handled it on our own ways. Simon drank a lot and I just sat in a corner of our appartment and cried the whole day. Simon didn't help me and so I started to drift away from him. As soon as I felt better I was most of the time not at home. Simon didn't handle it as good as I did and soon he was drunk most of the time. He never hurt me or laid a hand on me, but we would always fight and soon we stopped comunicating completely. That's when I knew that we didn't work anymore. I packed my things and moved into a small appartment at the other end of England and quit bgt and never talked with any of my old friends again. I dissappeared from everybody's sight and that's exactly what I wanted. As soon as I started to get my life back together I decided to study teaching and soon after that I was a teacher at the only school in my town. I met many lovely children, but none as special as this one girl called Jessica. She is such a smart kid with so much potential, but a sad back story. Jessica's parents died when she was only two weeks old and she lived in a orphanage ever since. I saw how much it broke that little girls heart to see all the other kids being picked up by their parents and she... she had nobody. I decided to addopt her and soon after that I saw the light in her eyes every time we went home together. At first it was strange to suddenly have a daughter, but I got used to it pretty soon. Now she is my everything. I never thought about Simon and my old life again. I never thought about getting pregnant again. I have a daughter and she is all I need. Today she is eight and almost three years with me. I can't believe how the time flies by. I never heard of Simon or anybody else again and to be honest. I am pretty glad about it... I would just get all of this emotion, I tried so hard to get rid off, back and everything would start again. All the heartache and pain would be back and this time I would have to stay strong, because I have a daughter now. I walk back into my living room where Jessica is sitting on the floor and playing with her dolls. "Oh Jess. I told you not to sit on the cold floor," I say and pick her up. She is eight but still loves to be picked up by me. She is not very tall and heavy which makes it possible for me to do so. I walk with her over to my big couch and let myself fall into it. She begins to laugh and snuggles closer to me and I kiss the top of her head. She is my everything. I begin to tickle her sides and her head shoots up and she laughs the cutest laugh I have ever heard. "Mommy stop. I can't breathe!" she says with tears streaming down her cute little cheeks. "Okay... okay I'll stop baby girl," I say and she climbs off of me. She runs back to her toys and I shake my head. This girl never listens. I smile to myself and watch her play for a while. Just after I stood up I hear the door bell ring and walk towards the door. Who could it be? We don't have many friends and definitely nobody who would visit this late. As soon as I opened the door my smile drops and I look scared into the living room. Jessica is sill paying with her toys and doesn't seem to care about who is standing at the door. I look back at the man in front of me and he smiles at me softly. "What are you doing here?" I ask with tears in my eyes. I never wanted to see him again. He broke my heart. "I... searched for you this past nine years," Simon says and suddenly I hear foot stepps behind me and hear Jessica saying, "Mommy who is that man?" Simon and my eyes shoot to Jessica who is standing next to me now and holding onto my dress. "Nobody important honey," I say and pick her up to kiss her cheek. I can see that I hurt Simon by saying he is nobody important but he hurt me way worse than just with words. I look at Jessica and say, "Well why don't you go back to your room and take out this game you always want to play with me. I'll come in a few minutes." Jessica nods her head and I watch her run off. "Mommy?" Simon asks and I can hear the hurt in his voice. "Yes mommy," I snap at him and cross my arms infront of my chest. "You married?" he asks and I can see the tears he fights so hard. "No, I did not marry. I promised myself to never make that mistake again," I say and a tear slowly makes its way down my face. "Can I come in?" he asks and I begin to laugh. "No you can't. You messed up my life. You weren't there for me when I needed you the most! You fucking gave up on me... on us. I finally built a new life. I have a new job and I am finally happy. I won't let you back into my life. I don't want to see you ever again!" I see the hurt in his eyes, but I don't care. I slamm the door shut and slowly sink down the wall. Jessica comes running towards me and falls to her knees next to me. "Mommy are you okay?" she asks softly and I smile. "Yes I am, my sweet little girl," I say and smile at her....

Three years later

I lived up to my promise. I didn't marry but I am about to break my promise. I fell and I fell hard for my soon to be husband. He is everything I ever asked for and he accepted me the way I am and he adopted Jessica and treats her like his own. Ontop of that I am pregnant again. At first I was afraid because of my history but now I am just excited to be a mother. Only one month until the birth of my little twins. I know. Crazy right? I didn't ever think this would happen to me. I walk down the streets in the center of London. Before I can marry I need to finish the still opened chapter in my life. I walk towards the huge building, knowing all of my former friends will be in there. I take a deep breath before I push the doors open and slowly stepp inside of the elevator. The well known 'pling' comes and the doors open. I smile at the woman at the counter. She must be new. Never met her before. "Could you please tell me where the meeting of Simon Cowell and the rest of the BGT judges is?" I ask nicely and the girl justs says her well practiced phrase, "I am sorry but I can't give you that information." I sigh and say, "Just say me where they are. It's okay they know me." The woman laughs and says, "Sweety if I would believe everybody walking through this doors Mr Coweel would be kidnapped already." I sigh and walk past her desk and leave her surprised and shocked. She yells something after me but I don't care. I walk towards Simons old office. I open the door and three pair of eyes look at me like I just did something impossible. Alesha is the first one to run towards me. She pulls me as close as possible but backs away as soon as she feels the bump between us. "Mandy! Where the hell were you all this twelve years?" she asks and tears stream down her face. I look at Simon who looks sad at the ground. He didn't tell them? Well that doesn't surprise me much... "I moved away. I needed a change," I say and everybody's attention wanders to my huge belly which I am slowly rubbing. "You are pregnant?" Alesha asks and Simon's eyes shoot to me. "Yes with twins. Isn't that exciting?" I say and make a little happy dance. "I came to close that door of my life so that I can finally marry without feeling like I have something left to do," I say and look at Simon. Alesha and David sense that I would like to talk with him in private. "We are gonna leave you two alone," David says and both of them make their way out of the office. "So you are marrying..." Simon says and I smile. "Yes I do," I say and walk towards Simon. "I guess we don't have another chance?" he asks and I shake my head softly no. "No Simon... We weren't meant to be. You still have a special place in my heart. I will never stop loving you but we are just not meant to be together. I knew it from the beginning... I just didn't want it to be true," I say and he nods his head. "I guess you are right..." he says. "One last kiss?" I nod my head yes and command him to close his eyes. I slowly make my way out of his office. We are better off that way. I place a letter on his desk and hurry up. I get into the elevator and see him running after me. "Goodbye Simon..." I say right before the doors close.

The end.

I found 69 one shots on her computer which I am going to post from time to time. I don't know why on earth she didn't post them earlier. We'll never know. And she wrote a complete Simanda story which I am gonna be posting too.