A whole week has passed and I haven't 'talked' to Jay once... I lay in my bed and let out a sigh. Its four in the morning and I haven't gotten a wink of sleep... I sit up, knowing that I won't get any sleep and I look at my phone. It starts buzzing. I slowly pick it up and smile when I see my cousins name, Marc sent one message. I take a deep breathe before unlocking my phone.

Howdy, Jesse! How's life in the city?

It's fine Marc! How's life in the country?

Filled with chores. Y'know, I got a little present for you.

What it is? Are you finally gonna stop smoking?!

Jesse, I promise you I'm gonna stop.

I know... I just want you better Marc.

I know... How's Alex, Steve and Jay?

Mom is wanting me to talk, dad is... I dunno. And Jay is ignoring me. I'll explain later about the Jay part.

Jeez. I'm sorry Jesse. Just know that if you ever need a place to stay, you have out here with me.

Yeah, and you can be my personal pot dealer!!! 😂

😐 Oh haha Jesse. Look, I gotta go. I love you cuz. Text me after school!

Will do.

I just lay in my bed for a while before hearing a knock on my door. I look outside and see its kinda bright out but clouds are blocking out the sun and sky. I look at my door before seeing my mom walk in. "..." I look at her before sitting up. I was already in my uniform. I had gotten dressed after Marc had texted me. She sits next to me and smiles, "Good morning honey." She smiles and I hug my knees to my chest, "..." I watch her as she sits next to me. I look at my feet, 'I'm just a burden. Why can't I just disappear?' Alex looks at me and smiles then hugs me. I stand up and pull my hair into a ponytail. All I wanted was to get out of my house and go somewhere other than school. I walk out of my room before going downstairs. I ignore my father and pass Jay before walking outside. I wait fr Lukas to drive up but given it was barely six thirty in the morning, I'll be waiting for a while.

I wait outside, in the rain for forty-five minutes, before Lukas drives up. I didn't care my hair was soaked and in my face and that my outfit was all wet and cold. I get in Lukas' car and shut the door. I look at Jay and he looks back before talking to dad. They both get in dads car and they drive off, toward school. Lukas looks at me, "You okay?" I look into his eyes and nod. He squints at me, "...You don't have to lie to me, Jesse. Whats wrong? Is it Jay?" I nod after a second and Lukas sigh, "Oh, my lov— JESSE! I'm sorry." He grabs me and kisses my temple. I pull away and look out the window. Lukas sighs and holds my hand before driving off toward school. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I take a deep breathe before closing my eyes.

"Jesse, Where are we going?!" Lukas calls out to me. I giggle and run toward the train tracks.  "This way!" I laugh. "Sis, wait up! Your too fast!!!"
Jay pants.

...

"JESSE!!!"

I instantly open my eyes and look around. I can hear a ringing in my ears, along with the school bell. I felt week, like I couldn't move. My legs feel like jello and my mind is all fuzzy. I slowly get out of Lukas' car before seeing Stella, Jack and Nurm waiting for me. I look at Lukas' friends... Then I look at Jennifer and Jay. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as I look at Jay. I look at my wrists as my vision goes blurry. I hold onto my bag before sprinting past everyone. I didn't care where I went, but I needed to cry it out. I don't care if I was alone or with someone. I stop in front of the band room before running inside and going to the stage. I sit on the hard wooden stage and hugs my knees to my chest. I couldn't hold it in. With Jay ignoring me, my mom sending me to a doctor later today, and my father telling me to be happy... Its all was too much. I start sobbing into my hands hard. I wanted to just fall over and die. I get to cry for barely a minute then I felt someone hug me. "..." I look at who it is. All I can see is pale skin and blonde hair.

...Lukas...

I look into his eyes and he holds me close. I relax in his arms then he pulls away and looks down. He growls under his breathe, "God dammit..." He says before grabbing my face.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Lukas looks at me before wiping my tears with his thumbs and saying, "He thought you were awesome." "..." I look up at him, confused then I sniff and start to look away. "Your brother, Jay. He thought you were awesome! ...He said, 'There's nothing like your smile. Sort of subtle and perfect and real.'" He sings. I look into Lukas' eyes and he smiles at me. "He said 'You never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel.' And he knew whenever you get bored you scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans." I smile a little and rub my neck, remembering how all my overalls and other clothes have stars, hearts and other doodles on them. "And he noticed that you still fill out the quizzes that they put in those teen magazines. But he kept it all inside his head. What he saw he left unsaid... And though he wanted to, he couldn't talk to you... He couldn't find the way, but he would always say... If I could tell her tell her everything I see; If I could tell her how she's everything to me!" I smile as Lukas grabs my hand and spins my around before sitting me down on the stage. I could see sadness in his eyes. "But we're a million worlds apart and I don't know how I would even start... If I could tell her... If I could tell her."

I look at Lukas and smile before tilting my head, wondering what else he said. "Jesse, are you asking if he said anything else about you?" Lukas looks at me and I nod but when he says nothing, I assume Jay said nothing else about me so I start to leave. Lukas grabs my arm, "No, no, no just, no, no he said, he said so many things, I'm just, I'm trying to remember the best ones! So, um— He thought you looked really pretty, er—!!!" I look at Lukas as his face turns red then he sits by my side and sings, "It looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair." I could feel the smile on my face getting bigger, seeing as I haven't done anything to my hair since sixth grade; and he remembered! "And he wondered how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn't there." Lukas grabs my hand and stands up. I just look at him. "But he kept it all inside his head. What he saw he left unsaid. If I could tell her, tell her everything I see; If I could tell her how she's everything to me. But we're a million worlds apart and I don't know how I would even start. If I could tell her. If I could tell her..." I could feel my smile fading and tears roll down my face as he sings, "But what do you do when there's this great divide?" "..." I look down and start crying, hard. Lukas holds me close and says, "And what do you do when the distance is too wide?" I hold onto him and start sobbing into his shoulder. After a second, I stop sobbing and Lukas grabs my face, "And how do you say... I love you... I love you... I love you. I love you!" I look at the door and see Jennifer... All of Lukas' friends, Jay, Jack, Stella and Nurm. I smile and hug Lukas tightly. I could feel the heat on his face but I chose to ignore it and I run to the door and hug Jay. Jay freezes up before hugging me. I look at Lukas and he sighs, "But we're a million worlds apart... And I don't know how I would even start... If I could tell her. If I could..." I watch him pull something out of his pocket then he sighs and puts it back in his pocket before grabbing his and my bag.