Okay, I am really pissed off right now. I'm in history class, it's after a test, and I want to uppercut the person next to me in the jaw. Why?

Because he decided to chew his gum extremely loudly.

Now, I'm not talking about the people who accidentaly open their mouth a bit when they chew, no, this jerkwad next to me decided that he's going to open his mouth extremely wide, glance in my direction, and snap his jaw shut. Like he does this:

:|

:O

*Snap* :|

:O

*Snap* :|

:O

*Snap* :|

And there's no way to ignore it because IT'S RIGHT AFTER A FRICKIN' TEST AND THE ROOM IS DEAD SILENT. And this isn't just a one time thing. EVERY FRICKIN' TIME the room's silent, I'm "blessed" to hear the sound of his accursed chewing.

Now, some of you are gonna say that I can just ask him to stop, but really, when can you EVER ask some one to stop doing something with out them calling you (Or at least thinking) an asshole.

Me: Can you please stop chewing you gum loudly.

Him: Asshole.

Me: Hey, your gum chewing is really obnoxious--

Him: Stop right there, asshole, I don't need to hear anymore.

Me: Excuse me, but when you chew your like that, it really irks me.

Him: A-cough, a-cough, a-asshole.

I really want to punch him in the face right now, but two things stop me from doing it:

1) I'd get a detention, possibly worse.

2) It wouldn't hurt enough.

Now excuse me while I try not to murder this guy.