[WARNING: Mature Content - Themes and mentions of Suicide]

White-knuckled, she clutched the railing, gazing down at the dark water illuminated by moonlight some sixty metres below. Already filled with cold despair, she was numb to the shredding night wind.

It was four in the morning. The city slumbered.
But she did not.

Nearby was an emergency phone with the faded words 'There is hope. There is help.' pasted on the side along with a helpline number.

The girl scoffed at the empty words. She had tried, she really had. But suicide helplines, well, she'd barely gotten one sentence in without choking up and promptly hanging up, or else she couldn't bare the false sympathy in the woman-who-did-not-understand's voice. Counselling had merely become a game of chess in which she had to carefully monitor every move she made, every word she said, lest the facade slips too much and she end up in a doctor's office, who labels her pain, deep hurt, and suffering as no more than an 'affliction' - a 'disease' - and prescribes medication that makes her feel even more numb and empty.

So no, there was no help for her.

And there was even less hope.

Turning her eyes from the peeling poster on the phone box, she pulled her own mobile phone from her pocket, fingers trembling as she finished typing her final words to her family. To the world. 

Tears streaming down her cheeks as the enormity of what had to be done overwhelmed her.

Gasping and gulping, she wrote the final words of her letter. 
Love, Emmaline.

For a moment her body-wracking sobs carried on the wind. Then there was a rustle as she took off her jacket and lay it on the bench, unstrapped her watch - exposing hidden scars - and placed her phone on top. She clicked 'send'.
There. No going back now.

Emmaline took a step to the line of metal, slowly sweeping her tired eyes across the dim cityscape and taking in this world, this cruel world one last time.

Below, the waters churned, and she baulked at the long fall.

"No." She shook her head fiercely, "Stop being such a coward, as usual. You have to do it. You have to. Every-" a trembly sob of a breath, "everyone is better off without you."

A small whimper escaped her throat as she continued to look down at the dark waters that so accurately mimicked the tumultuous thoughts of her mind and excruciating emotions of her heart.

Another deep breath as she softened her stern tone, trying to reassure herself,
"Shh. It's okay."

She clambered over the steel fence and clung to it, her feet precariously placed on the concrete edge.
"Shh, it's okay...'

A tear trickled down her cheek.
"It's going to be okay."

She leant forwards, hands still clutching the rail behind her.

Preparing to jump.

"Don't."

Startled, she slipped.

A yelp escaped her as her feet were on nothing but air, and only one of her hands clutched cold metal as her body twisted to face the bridge.

Shoot.

Her heart wildly beating.

Seconds.

Blood rushing in her ears.

Freezing hands becoming numb.

Tired, she was so tired.

Rushing water below.

Turmoil.

Peace...

Resolve.

She took a deep breath and gave one last look below.

Then, she let go.

Gravity took over.

She began to fall.

A hand grasped her outstretched arm.

The girl jolted to a stop, dangling in the air.

"No. No!" She cried out, thrashing her body, "Let go. Please. Let me go."

Another warm hand joined the one already gripping her,
"No."

The same voice that had startled her.

After a moment of silence, she tremulously asked,
"Why not?"

"Because I know why you jumped," the voice softly answered.

Hesitantly, Emmaline looked up. Peering over the railing was a boy her age, his eyes filled with tears.

"No you don't." she raggedly gasped, shivering, "No one does."

He smiled sadly,
"I felt that way too." His eyes took in her tear-streaked face and then the rushing water far below, "but then you saved me."

Emmaline's eyes grew wide,
"Save you? But I've never even seen you before!"

The boy grunted, his arms beginning to tremble with the strain of holding her up,
"You did. And I'll tell you how. Just please come back up and listen to me." He gave an empty laugh, "I'm not strong enough to hold you much longer."

The girl hesitated for a moment, then tenderly lifted her dangling hand onto his arm, then the railing, as he helped her to clamber back onto the bridge and sit down.

"Yours?" He said as he gently draped Emmaline's jacket over her.

She put it on, grateful for the protection against the wind, before turning to him,

"Well?"

"Well... I'd rather know the name of who saved me before I say how?"

The girl narrowed her eyes suspiciously, suspecting an excuse meant to buy more time so he could concoct some made-up story. Then, seeing the honest look in his eyes, she relented,
"I'm Emmaline."

The boy smiled encouragingly,
"A beautiful name."

"What's your name?" The girl queried, somehow reassured by the boy's calm presence.

"Jason." He replied, almost shy, "That's me."

She cocked her head, studying him,
"It suits you."

"Thanks."

Emmaline waited for a moment or so, then nudged the conversation forward with a quiet, bashful,
"Well? How did I save you?"

"Well... I was on the opposite end of the bridge." He glanced at her, visibly vulnerable, "I was going to jump."

"Oh." Realisation flooded Emmaline's face, "That's awful. I'm so sorry to hear that."

The boy suddenly turned, eyebrows raised, his eyes carefully scanning her face. As though first trying to detect sarcasm, but then seeming surprised as he realised her comment was genuine.

Unsettled by his scrutiny of her, Emmaline's cheeks coloured,
"What?"

Jason continued to curiously look, but then shook his head,
"I'll explain in a moment. But first I want to tell you how you saved me."

"Okay."

"Well, as I said, I was about to jump."

"Why?" The question burst forth before she could stop herself. Then, seeing the boy's discomfort, she quickly added, "Sorry. You don't have to tell me."

"No, no- It's okay." Another pause. Then he spoke, voice trembling, "There... there are many reasons. I felt like everyone was better off without me. I'm of no use to anyone." He began to tear up, "No one would care if I disappeared. And no matter how hard I try, my best is never good enough. Joe killed himself. My best friend. And I couldn't save him. I should have seen the pain he was in. I should've known. Should've helped. I never do anything right!"

His breath failed him as his words gave way to sobs, his face buried in his hands as his shoulders shook. Tears sprung to Emmaline's eyes and she moved closer, her hand on his back, offering what silent comfort she could. There were no words she could say. Nothing she could do to magically make everything better. All she could do was listen without judgement. Let him free the words that had no doubt been trapped inside for a long, long time.

She did not pat his back and say 'It's going to be okay', knowing that she could offer no such assurance, and that to do so would make her a liar. Nor could she, having only just met him, offer any assurance of his character. Instead, she said what truths she could,
"I'm here. I'm listening. And... I care."

And so, surprising herself as she said them, she did. Whether it was by the unusual circumstances of their meeting, or Jason's handsome appearance and seemingly kind nature, she found herself caring for him. Not so much in a deep, romantic sense, but in a way difficult to explain. As though he were a dear friend of hers whom she had known for many years.

Beside her, at her softly spoken words and gentle touch, the boy's sobs quieted to sniffles and, after a little while, he wiped his eyes dry and rubbed the snot off his face with his sleeve,
"Sorry."

"All good."

He looked at her, embarrassed,
"And... thank you."

After another moment of neither teen speaking, Jason began once more, his voice conversational,
"Now... where was I? Oh, yes. I was about to jump. But then, I heard sobs carried on the wind."

Emmaline shifted.

"I figured that, before I died, I may as well try one last time to help someone. So, I ran to this side of the bridge." He gave her a grateful look, "Even if you didn't intend it, you stopped me from jumping at that moment. And, by allowing me to save you, you helped me feel less worthless, as though I can maybe, just maybe, actually make a difference and help people. So perhaps I will now try to keep living, if only so I can attempt to fix a world so cruel that it compels a lovely lady such as yourself to jump-"

Having said more than intended, he stopped, his cheeks reddening.

"Oh..." was Emmaline's only reply.

Had she genuinely saved Jason? Made him feel less worthless? She had actually helped someone instead of making their life worse?

"If you don't mind me asking..."

"Yes?"

"When I told you I was going to jump, you said 'That's awful'. But I don't quite understand... if it saddens you to think of another person jumping, why were you?"

The girl sat for a moment, reflecting,
"Well... I guess it's because I think it's so sad when people take their own lives. You see, I believe everyone else has worth, that they are amazing human beings who could contribute so much, who would probably have died thinking they're alone, not realising how many people will grieve for them."

"Everyone else?"

"Yes, everyone else... but me." She sighed, her shoulders slumping, "For I... am the anomaly. The one uncared for. The one whom everyone is better off without."

Jason gently lifted her downcast face, gazing into her tear-filled eyes,
"Hey. That's not true."

"You don't know that." She whispered.

"I saved you, didn't I?"

She turned her face away, murmuring,
"Only because you didn't want someone's death on your conscience."

He was silent for a second, then answered,
"Okay, you're right. I don't know you very well. So maybe you are a complete jerk. But I don't think so."

Emmaline turned, for some reason feeling almost angry,
"Why not?"

"Well," he paused for a moment, his head to one side as he considered it, "firstly, most people who are actually jerks almost never realise it, let alone feel apologetic for their behaviour like you do. And, secondly, you were willing to sit and listen to a complete stranger sobbing his heart out, showing no judgement or disgust, but instead remaining to comfort me, letting me cry for as long as I needed to. And, I believe few people are truly kind enough to do that. Sure, they might remain for one or two minutes, but then they would make some excuse to leave or impatiently interrupt my crying. Whereas you... well, you didn't."

Emmaline gazed up at the starry sky, unsure of how to respond.

Two warm hands enveloped her cold ones.
"I'm here for you, Emmaline."

At the sound of those simple words, she began to openly sob.

Jason returned the kindness she had shown him, allowing her to weep for as long as needed, seconds, minutes, hours, it didn't matter. All that mattered were her feelings and the fact that she was finally being brave enough to express them.

Once her sobs slowed and then stopped, he turned to her, struck by a thought,
"Promise me you won't attempt again. Please. I couldn't bear it."

Looking into his eyes, she found the usual, easy lie of 'I promise' sticking in her throat. In it's place, the truth tumbled from her lips,
"I can't. You know that."

Silence.

She continued,
"I just... I've spent so long enduring life until I could end it, I don't know how to live with the intention of staying alive. The future-" her voice cracked, "the future is terrifying to me. Even if I wanted to, I... I just don't know if I have the strength to continue living. I wouldn't even know where to start."

Jason gazed at her face, his eyes searching for something, but she did not know what,
"It's okay Emmaline, you're not alone in this. I'm scared too. But we're going to figure this out together, okay?"

After a small, shaky nod from Emmaline, he withdrew his hands and lifted them to his neck, taking off a plain leather chain, and pressing it into her hands,
"Here. It... it used to be Joe's."

Emmaline hurriedly looked up, about to object, but Jason hastily continued,
"I kept it with me all this time as a reminder of how cruel the world is, my failure to save Joe, a burden on my heart reinforcing my resolve to kill myself... but now I hope you will keep it as a reminder that someone cares for you. Even if we never see each other again, please feel it and know that, somewhere, I am thinking of you."

"Thank you." Was her simple reply as she blushed softly, touched by the boy's kindness. She rested her hands in her lap, fingers closed over the smooth, worn leather. "But I've nothing to give you."

"Emmaline..." he breathed, "you gave me my life back. What gift is more precious than that?"

She looked away from his kind gaze, mumbling under her breath,
"Yeah, I suppose."

Jason's gaze drifted down to the phone laying on the bench beside the girl, and, struck by inspiration, he said,
"Well... I suppose there is something else you could give me."

"What?"

"Your phone number..." he shyly suggested.

Both were startled by an explosion of laughter. Even more surprising was that the sweet sound came from Emmaline's mouth.

"My phone number?" She howled, almost collapsing from her seat.

"Yes," Jason replied, his brow twisted with confusion, and his mouth a half-smile at her melodious laughter.

"Oh... sorry." She replied, calming herself and wiping her eyes of the tears that had been quick to make a reappearance, "It's just- of all the things I thought you were going to say... I wasn't expecting it to be a pickup line. Dang... are you always this smooth? Is this what you do in your spare time, saving girls from jumping and getting their phone numbers?"

Starting to see the humour in his request, Jason chuckled softly,
"No, though I see why that's funny. The thing is, I thought that if we had each other's phone numbers... we could maybe text or call to encourage and support each other every day?"

His question hung in the air for a moment, and he began cursing himself for being so unusually forward, when Emmaline said, with a small nod,
"I'd like that."

Grabbing their phones, they exchanged numbers, taking care to type them in correctly.

"There." Jason smiled softly, "Now, even when we leave here, we'll still be in touch and able to talk."

"Jason?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Emmaline leant in and gave Jason a small, quick peck on the cheek, leaving him breathless at the unexpected act, and herself abashed by her unusually bold behaviour.

He did not say anything, but instead smiled down at the girl, and put his arm around her, drawing her closer to him.

And they sat together in this way in comfortable silence, watching as the cold, dark night began to slowly give way to watery light. It was not yet comfortable, nor colourful, but slowly and gradually, it was changing. Light, like life, slowly returning breath by breath. And, though it may take some time, it will eventually give way, to a warm, beautiful dawn.

Word Count: 2,495 words