Due to plagiarism, this series has been taken down. If you want to read it, it's available on Patreon at the link in my bio 💜

CONTENT WARNING: This book is DARK. VERY dark. Please take that seriously because I am not kidding when I say it's dark. Some of the difficult topics we'll encounter will include: suicidal tendencies, PTSD, abuse, violence, SA, depression and self-medication and harm (BUT TO BE CLEAR none of those occur within the main couple). I will put trigger warnings on chapters I feel might hit a little deeper, I just want you to keep in mind that not every chapter will have a warning but the topics will come up.

Also, this is book 4 in a series. You will miss a lot of things and might get confused if you don't read the other books first. They're on my profile. The order is 1. Fated, 2. Hunted, 3. Marked, 4. Shattered

On a lighter note, we finally get into the mind of our sweetheart Kaden ❤ POV's will alternate. And because I'm a nerd, I'm going to have quotes that don't belong to me (but are credited) at the beginning of every chapter. ENJOY!!

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Kaden's POV:

"Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic." – Oscar Wilde

The muscles in my legs burned as the wind whipped around me. My paws pounded against the dirt, helping me push forward harder, faster. My body screamed in hot protest for me to take a break, but I needed it. I needed the burn in my muscles, the ache that told me they were getting stronger. I needed the distraction. I skidded as I came to a sharp turn, kicking up dirt and running hard again once I regained my footing.

I was surrounded by mates. Not mine, other peoples. The fact I knew so many shifters who found their mate was strange, above average compared to others. It must've been because our pack had so many allies, knew so many supernaturals, that the people in our pack seemed to find their mate at a higher rate than others. My now ex had just found her mate, too. She wasn't in our pack but still, it was another person to add to the ever-growing list.

It really wasn't even that I was upset about Victoria and I breaking up. I was happy for her. If I was being honest, I never felt that attached to her. I was just lonely. I wasn't avoiding her mating ceremony at that moment because of her specifically, but because it was becoming painfully apparent to me I might never find my own. My mate. My other half. That's what messed with me the most.

I truly was happy for the ones around me who had found their mate. But I couldn't go anywhere in the pack or hang out with practically anyone without mates being present, hands all over each other. I was happy for them, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a void somewhere in me. Their constant love for each other never bothered me before, but recently it felt like a reminder that I didn't have anyone like that.

That's why I was running. To distract myself so I'd get out of this ridiculous funk of self-pity. I'd been running all day long, all night long, and I wasn't even in Washington anymore. I'd ran so far I passed into California. I'd never run that far before but there was a strange pull somewhere deep inside that magnetized me south.

My Alpha, Xander, and my Luna, Addie, were giving me my space but I was also aware if I didn't go back or contact them soon, they would get worried. We had enough going on without me taking off like I did.

I normally wouldn't do that to them. I took my title as Beta seriously, even with the goofing off, I always took it seriously. It was an honored title with serious responsibilities that Xander trusted me with probably way before I deserved that trust. Because of that, I'd always put forth every effort I could to deserve it. I'd never felt like I needed a break from it or my pack until that day. It wasn't like me. I just felt an indescribable need to get the hell away from everything for a little while.

I knew I should probably check in, head back, or at least find somewhere to stay since there was no way in hell I'd make it back to my pack now I was so far south. But I wasn't ready to go back. So I pushed harder. Then I thought just a little escape from the forest might be nice. It was the middle of the night anyway, so I drew closer to the ocean. I wasn't by any easily accessible beaches so I just ran along the tree line, close to the cliffs.

The sound of the waves crashing against the cliffs and the smell of the ocean had me slowing down. I trotted out to the edge of a drop off and carefully looked down to see how high up I was. It was more than I was expecting. There were sharp, dark, jagged rocks at the bottom where the waves crashed around, making it much louder than a peaceful beach would be. A tumble down one of these would definitely mean death.

I stepped back and took a moment, stretching my front legs forward and laying down. I rested my muzzle on the edge, staring out at the ocean. It was dark, had to be the middle of the night though I had no idea what time exactly. It was light out when I left, but not anymore. Now it was so dark it felt unnaturally dark, almost unsettling so. I could still see the clouds, thanks to the moon. They blocked out the stars and I could just barely see the moon's glow behind a thinner cloud.

Most of the clouds were dark and big, boasting that they would bring rain. There was a faint rumble in the distance of thunder but it was a long ways off. I guessed it wouldn't rain on land for a while, if it even made it to land.

As I stared at the clouds, I started to feel more and more uneasy. Anxious. On edge. Even a strange, intense feeling of... I couldn't put my finger on it. I wanted to say sadness but it was so much more than sadness. It was probably my connection to Xander and Addie. I knew they were worried about me. They wanted me to talk about it with them but I didn't feel like talking to anybody. Talking about it will help, Kaden. That's what they said. But talking about it would just make me think about it more. It was silly it was bothering me this much in the first place.

I wasn't like Xander and our previous Gamma, Tess. I didn't base my whole life on my mate. It seemed silly to do that, to want someone you didn't even know. Being a Beta was important to me. Having close friends was important to me. I had those things and the mate thing never really had a place in my mind because it seemed so unlikely and just not for me. I didn't want to meet some stranger and feel an incontrollable pull to them for no reason other than the Goddess pairing us. I wanted it to be real, and although it was an unpopular opinion in our culture, a mate bond wasn't enough for me to make it real. There had to be a bigger connection, something else that made me want someone for the rest of my life. I always thought I'd rather meet someone and learn to love them without all the mate pulls getting in the way of it. My own parents weren't mates, they just found each other to love and they loved fiercely.

Well, loved each other fiercely at least.

It must've been watching the rest of them. Xander and Addie were happy with their little girl. Our Gamma, Cassie, and head Delta, Renzo, were ridiculously happy together. If I was being honest, they were the ones that made the jealousy the worst because they just seemed so in tune with each other. Tess and Kane were happy and strong, currently working on finding new Elders to replace old ones Tess got fired. Tess was standing in as one, slowly trying to make her way up the ladder so she could find more secrets that would help us take them down. How the hell she did that while being the Luna of Blood Moon Pack and also making it home frequently to visit was beyond me. She was unstoppable, like she'd always been.

Then there was me. I played my role as Beta and spent my free time playing video games, playing guitar, and reading. That was it. All my closest friends had their mates and while I was happy for them, I rarely had a moment without both of them. I was the permanent third wheel. On the rare occasion it was just one on one, they'd be talking about their mate the whole time which was not much better than being the third wheel.

Victoria eased that for a little while but then she went to visit Blood Moon with Tess. And then she and Tess went on a trip with Kane across the seas and Victoria found her mate in Asia. He was a rogue, so he had no pack attachment and was more than willing to come home with her.

She handled it right. She called me, explained what was going on and had Xander and Addie check up on me which they did, like the good pack leaders they were. But I wasn't that attached to Victoria. I should've been after being together over a year, and part of me felt guilty that when I got the news, I wasn't even sad. I felt bad, but I wasn't sad. I only felt bad that I didn't feel sad because she deserved better. She deserved someone that would appreciate who she was because she really was a good person in every way, she just wasn't the person I wanted to spend every day with.

The smell of fresh rain hit my senses which was confusing because the clouds were still a ways off. I was no meteorologist, but I'd been around rain enough that the scent seemed off for how far away those storm clouds were. I glanced up and there were clouds above me too, but they didn't look like they'd produce any rain, at least not right now.

Still, running along cliff edges with jagged rocks at the bottom while the ground was wet was unwise. So I got up and started back to the forest before the rain came, freezing in place when that scent hit me again. It was different. I vaguely remembered the smell being like one I smelled on a trip to New Mexico once. Desert rain. Desert rain smelled different than other rain. Desert rain was the best smelling rain, but this wasn't the desert, so why did I smell desert rain?

The wind blew and it hit me again. The best smell. It surrounded me, soothing me to the point my eyes slid closed...

My eyes snapped open. The smell was wrapping around me like nothing ever had before, invading my senses and making parts of me I didn't even know were there come alive with awareness, almost like I was gaining another sense, another part of me, becoming stronger and yet weaker all at once because now it felt even more like there was a void in me. A void that was screaming to be filled by that scent. That wasn't just rain. It was her.

I snapped my head to the side and saw someone on the other side of the cove, walking out of the tree line towards the edge of the cliff.

Mate.

I took off faster than I was even going before, kicking up dirt as I raced forward. I circled around the cove and as I drew closer, she smelled even better. Fresh desert rain, cooling and hydrating after a long drought, refreshing and invigorating...

The closer I got, the better I could smell her and the harder I pushed to get to her. It also became apparent to me that she wasn't a shifter. She was human. I couldn't approach her in my wolf form.

I slowed to a stop in the trees and watched as she walked towards the edge. I could only see the back of her. Long, wavy dark hair blew back behind her in the wind and she had something in each hand.

It was at that moment I realized how unsteady she was. She swayed and stumbled as she moved towards the edge. The smell of blood, alcohol, and something else was mixed in with her scent. I stiffened when I realized it was her blood I was smelling. That's when I noticed the stream of blood trickling down, to her fingertips then dripping to the ground. I took a step back when I realized there was even more blood, a trail behind her. I stepped forward, on alert, looking around for something that might've hurt her but there was nothing. I didn't see, smell or hear anyone but us. Then I noticed the almost empty bottle of whiskey in one of her hands, and a prescription bottle in the other.

Oh no. No. I was reading too much into this. She wasn't...

But then she opened the prescription bottle, swallowed all the pills with the bottle of alcohol, and stumbled toward the edge.

A/N:

Heyy loves! Welcome to Shattered! I hope you're ready for this one 😈❤️

This book is complete on patreon and we're onto the next book ❤️

SO! Fated hit 2mil! As a thank you, I'll be updating this book today (obviously), tomorrow, and Sunday for a weekend of this series!

First thoughts?

Well, the first meeting with his mate was pretty rough, the good news is we can only go up from here... right?

Next chapter will be from his mate's POV so get ready

Take care, loves, see you back here tomorrow!