(please remember not to ghostread 

tw: sensitive material ahead)

When Cellese was a child she had the violent habit of digging her nails into the calm of her hands until they formed crescents. Bloodied and deep she needed to feel to shift her focus from the turmoil she felt inside her mind. Her first memory of this habit was when she was four. Geralt and Tybolt had returned from a hunt with their father. Geralt was successful in hunting down two stags. His arrows shot them straight through the eyes, but Tybolt like most of his life continued being Damons greatest dissapointment.

Cellese remembered when the Lannister Party returned to the Castle. She'd been anxious to see her father again as he forbade her from joining. Her mother reasoned it was no place for a young lady such as Cellese given the girl was four, but there was a linger of doubt in the back of Cellese's head. For the first time she questioned if her mothers words claimed to be true or was she protecting her naivety? 

Was it because she was a girl she was not permitted to hunt with Geralt and Tybolt? At that age she only then realized the difference in how her brothers and her were treated. While Tybolt and Geralt trained with their father, Cellese kept to the comfort of lady in waitings, her lessons with her Septa and needlepoint. Not that she minded, she knew she was no fighter but she still would have wanted the curtesy of being asked rather than denied.

When the men returned from the hunt Tybolt violently pushed past her, scurrying off to his bedroom and locking the door. Fortunately Geralt snuck them in. While Geralt boasted about his sharp aim, Tybolt sat in the corner seething in Cellese's admiration over his brother. Geralt, the second son and pride to Cellese and Damon. The son who would bring the greatest honor to the Lannister. 

A second son and only daughter were the crown to Damon Lannisters eye rather than his first born.

Tybolt decided that he'd suffer enough of his own humiliation and ordered them to leave the chambers. But as always his command was deaf of Geralt and Cellese's ear. He gave a final warning before he shoved Geralt to the ground. With the opening falling so hard against the desk, even as a man grown he still had a scar from the corner cutting him open.

Cellese did not take kindly to this. Out of her two brothers Geralt was the only brother who never treated her like the enemy. The only brother who never punished her for being born.

Cellese remembers little of what happened next. All she knew was as Geralt was crying holding the pressure on his wound she attacked Tybolt, scratching and clawing at his face until she was pulled off my her fathers guards. All she remembered was that night she had bloody crescent on her palms after her father had scolded her. 

Ever since the tender age of four, whenever she felt her palms bleed she knew her claws were ready to strike out the next one's eye. And it could not have been more prevalent than Cellese storming the halls of Ashford behind her father.

"Father!" Cellese's voice cut through the corridors as she had little care for the servants staring at her. Aerion had served her humiliation and shame after another, what reluctance did she have that needed to protect public opinion anymore "Father! Don't you dare turn your back on me!"

How dare he? She questioned herself? How dare Damon Lannister now care for the safety and concern of his daughter? How dare he call for the annulment of the one husband who'd never pin her down the floorboards and beat her till it hurt to breathe? Why have her endure years of abuse from husbands older than him to suddenly raise his sword against Aerion?

 "You do not walk away from me!" She continued as she followed behind Damon "Not after-" 

But Damon halted to the point where Cellese nearly collided into him "Where" she shook her head, her heartbeat uneven as fury raged through her body "Where do you find the nerve to question my marriage? To call for an annulment? To suddenly stand there and decide my life when you've never cared for my safety?" 

Damon turned slowly "Cellese." His tone a warning to his daughter "This matter is handled. Whether you will it or not."

"No it is not!" Cellese scoffed "Where does this sudden concern come from when you dealt the hand that sent me into the homes of men who've ruined me? You married me off as soon as I bled." Cellese choked but she refused to even show him a hint of pain.

After her years of being failed by men, she knew none deserved even the sight of her tears.

"Enough." Damon said quietly but Cellese knew her words handed a heavy hand to him. She saw the flicker of pain and regret cross his face. Damon pulled her into the nearest chamber. Closing the door behind them as silence fell over him.

"Fucking answer me!" Cellese rounded the desk of the office slamming her fist on the table "What give you the fucking right?!" she shrieked forcing whatever cry that threatened to come from her chest to rest heavy on her heart.

"Have you finished?" Damon calmly asked approaching the desk. He stood across Cellese as he noted how shaky her hands were, much like his whenever he was enraged. Though Cellese had her mothers golden locks, everything to the tremble in her eyes was a reflection of Damon "Or do you wish to hurl a book at my head to finish off your temper tantrums."

The words struck her like a violent slap "No." Cellese fired back. Her tone low and dangerous "You will not make of me a child when you never granted me naivety when I was barely a woman. You will not make my emotions out to be the madness of women. Not when you are the reason I've never had the certainty of being safe all my life. I will not permit you to dictate my life any longer father." 

Damon watched her steadily. Though he'd never admit it to even his wife but when he saw the fire in Cellese's fury, he'd wished she'd been born a son.  A true heir to the Lannister name unlike the disappointments her brothers are to him. Cellese had a blaze of fury that made their creed proud to say 'hear me roar!'. On one hand he admired her nerve to sharply question him, but he remained her father. And as her father, Cellese had no authority to question his authority.

His decision on what's best for her.

"You mistake me daughter."

"Do I?" Cellese shot back "You dare raise concern for my union with Aerion and for what? You knew what he was the day I wedded him and now because of his foolish antics at the tourney, now...now you have the nerve to be concerned over me?"

"I have given what the realm, what my house demands of us." Damon spoke, his voice level "I have provided security, position and protection. The Lannister name accumulates wealth and respect and-"

"You gave me away!" Cellese yelled "You pawned me off like some brood mare and for what? Access to the Iron Bank? A fleet that could rival the Iron Islands? You have may have given wealth to our name but it came at the prize of your only daughter!" her eyes burned to him "I am not a pawn that can be moved on a board between men. You, Aerion, the Targaryens, what makes any one you think you can dictate my future after having ruined my prospects in being happy?" 

Silence settled between them, long. "You are right."

"What?" Cellese muttered

"I said, you are right." Damon exhaled "I am at the age where I look at my children and see only how I have failed you all. Perhaps my greatest failure is making of you a piece in a game you never intended on playing." Damon shook his head pulling of the chair as he sat. Now lower he could feel the weight of Cellese's cold stare on him.

"As your mother and I grow old we are reminded on our past. Your mother was a noblewoman from house Brax, and I was a dimwitted boy forced to marry her." Cellese's brows furrowed as she sank into her chair. Her glare as prevalent as she looked back at her father "We did not love each other in the beginning, there was no romance my men sang for in taverns. We honored our duties, and slowly formed a respect that turned to love."

"So?" 

Damon reclined in his seat, too aware of the strain in his chest as he looked back at Cellese's piercing eyes "So, in this world there are no romances between lords and ladies. If so, every man and woman in Westeros would live to tell a happy tale. But there is duty, and duty will always weigh heavier than love. Those of us who are lucky to built what we have into love. You were a naive and spoilt child raised to believe in a fantasy of princes riding on stallions. I'd assume given the cruel nature you held as a child, you would know this going into your first marriage. That the realm serves those who are dutiful to their responsibilities not the whims of childlike fantasies."

"So, it's my fault?" Cellese retorted "It's my fault for being born and raised to believe that I could command my whim over anyone who crossed my path? I failed as a wife and daughter because I believed in the fantasies you and mother raised me on?" 

"Of course this is not your fault!" Damon exclaimed "I take my part in failing to protect you." He breathed in trying to calm himself as Cellese even in that moment was innocent to his rage and regret "I can not take back the pain you have suffered due to your mother and I's negligence. I can not heal what you have endured during the years of your first two marriages, perhaps that is why I never judged you for killing them." 

"Father..." 

Damon let out a dry chuckle "You think I didn't know?" he taunted "Your first husband was a man my fathers age, when word reached he had died in his sleep we took at it as a testament of the gods. But the second...Oh my sweet child" Damon laughed "Hardly six moons had passed and you woke to another dead husband in your bed. Men who die without even the most mastered maesters looking to one another in the hopes of finding an answer. Given your history, if I may ask, why has it taken you so long to slain the dragon boy?"

Cellese stilled. She narrowed her eyes at the very audacity of her fathers question. But she did not answer. She couldn't without admitting the truth to herself.

"You're a woman with spine, one that hardened given the hardships you've endured." Damon went on, his voice bold with sarcasm 

"Or have I failed you in that too? To finish a task you take at hand? I would have gathered you'd kill the boy as soon as you wed him. After all, you've never been a woman of patience Cellese." Cellese opened her mouth to argue back when her father raised his hand "And don't think to disagree, remember I raised you. That waning patience and temper is your mothers and is why she's always won an argument we've had."

But still Cellese refused to speak. She turned her face slightly away, her silence now a deliberate act of defiance. She could not admit why Aerion has been allowed to live for as long as he has, not without admitting the part of her that enjoys toying with his temper. His rage a testament to his love and possession of her, one she nurtured more than any man's care over her.

"Aerion vexes me." Cellese sneered "But, he is unlike my first two husbands who held you the fool by their displays of kindness." she answered crossing her arms behind her back as he looked down on the Grey Lion "He is feared, and because of that I have never been more protected." She admitted quietly.

"He is not without his cruelness and madness the Targaryen men are known for, but because of that I know Aerion would burn cities to the ground for any man that raises their voice at me. He has done precisely what all the men in my life failed to do, which is keep me safe." Cellese let out a dry laugh at even the idea of her defending Aerion. And yet, there she stood across her father doing what she never believed she could  

"So yes father, you may have your doubts in our love if it even exists, but never forget he has accomplished the very act that you have failed in as a father, as a lord and as a husband which is keep his child guarded and unharmed."

"And for that very reason is why this marriage must be ended." Damon answered smoothly "You mistake fear for protection. You can disguise it as safety all you want, as though it is a service he provides you as your husband." Damon slowly rose to his feet, leaning forward against the desk "But what you are describing is a monster kept on your leash." he continued "You mistake obsession for comfort."

"You know nothing of what Aerion and I have." Cellese hissed "You have no comprehension of what he has offered me in two years that my husbands failed to do in a matter of days. Because of what he is, no one dares even force a frown on my face. Do you know the relief I have over that? That no man dares look me in the eye? Clever as you think you are father, you know nothing." 

"I know enough." Damon cut in "Enough to hear the shame in your voice when you speak of him. Men fear him and you benefit from it, now." His voice lowered as something darker thread through it "But he is a Targaryen and the madness runs deep in their blood traitorous veins." Damons words now like a curse being spoken over her.

"One day, his temper you think you can endure will turn." Damon added, his gaze locked onto hers, unrelenting if Cellese could argue "And when it does it will be your last breath he takes. And that, I will not permit."

"You have right to call for annulment father." Cellese shook her head, a smirk forming on her lips "You have no proof, no cause and no witness to bring before the king that would justify your concern." Cellese's chin lifted "There's never been any sign of abuse, none of which the servants in Summerhall didn't retire in the chambers of a husband and wife." 

Cellese's words precise, dangerous and truthful. He noticed the shift in her, the sudden arrogance she'd been raised with. The danger in her, he and his wife nurtured. It was subtle which made it more threatening "You defend him, but you forget against who." Damon said softer but far more threatening 

"But I am your father. There is not a shred of ignorance you have that didn't come from me. You defend him because it is a necessity, which begs the question what are you hiding?"

Just then a knock broke the tension. Cellese more startled by it as the sound was firm and measured in the room. Damon's gaze drew to the door, irritation flashed briefly across his face "Enter." he called.

The door was slowly opened as a maester stepped through. Maester Herold. He paused for a moment as he took in the room, quietly noticing the tension that seemed to weigh the stone walls heavier than the storm outside "My lady." he bowed "Forgive my intrusion but prince Aerion has requested your presence at once."

His words were formal, but there was something in it that seemed so rehearsed to Cellese. Something that formed along the lines of hesitation in his voice. His eyes subtly dropped, but not to his feet, to the floors or her hands. Lower to her stomach as it quickly snapped back to her face.

A silent exchange between the princess and the maester. So brief Damon hardly noticed it. Cellese's brows furrowed, her expression softened to the familiar fear and panic in her face. The maester returned it with the faintest nod.

In that moment, everything changed. Cellese felt in in her bones before she could reason it. A cold clarity that caught her breath when her hands threatened to move against her stomach.

Now there was no denying it. She was with child. 

"What is it?" Damon asked, his voice quieter with edged suspicion "Cellese..."

"I have to see to my husband father." She said quickly. Cellese turned to the door before her father could stop her "We will discuss this on the morrow." And without warning Cellese rushed out of the room, risking her fathers questions, accusations and suspicion she closed the heavy door behind her as she rushed to her chambers.

Desperate for a moment alone to form her next plan of action.

The storm outside had settled over the castle as the thunder rolled heavy against the windows. The sky was dark with bursting lights of light.

Cellese lay on her back as her eyes were fixed on the ceiling. She couldn't will herself to blink without crying. The chamber suddenly too large and too quiet despite the roaring thunder. The kind of silence that made her dig her nails deeper into her palms because it became a challenge alone to breathe.

Aerion never sent for her, she knew that now. It was the maester who swore to his promise. He'd swore as soon as he had confirmation, Cellese would be the first to know. She'll remember the look of urgency on his face for long. He knew the weight of the news being received and spread from the wrong informant. It was necessary to tell the mother first, before all the princes House Ashford hosted that evening.

It was not a summons by Aerion, but a quiet confirmation the maester could not wait on the dawn to tell. Cellese's hand slowly shifted to her stomach, resting lightly over it. Though unchanged for now, everything she believed her body to be was no longer a constant.

Her throat dry at the though. A child. The word echoed heavy in her mind. It seemed so distant and too unreal to even fathom. A Targaryen child she was carrying. The idea sent something cold rushing through her veins as Cellese shut her eyes. But it did nothing to ease her panic.

Because she knew, with this Targaryen child came its father. Aerion, his temper, his pride and his need for blood. Aerion a boy Cellese believed had been failed because of the lack of responsibility and consequence Maekar dealt all his children. What future could her child have given what his fathers blood is?

Blood traitors? Dreamers? Tyrants? Drunks? Rapers? Cowards? Cellese was a gracious student who enjoyed the history of the Targaryens and out of her years of study, she could attest the greatest thing about the Targaryens was their women.

From Daenys the Dreamer, the Targaryen bloodline was blessed by radiant and fierce women who bent no knee to the will of man, at least men of Westeros. Dangerous and cunning women who so easily were eclipsed in their greatness because of the insecurity and arrogance of Targaryen men.

And her husband was a consumer of all of which was wrong with Targaryen men. Aerions pride and temper. The way his anger would burn so sudden and hot, leaving ruin in his very shadow. His passion so fierce, but consuming, suffocating and impossible to escape.

The way he looked at Cellese. As if she were something he had claimed and possessed as his greatest triumph. Cellese's chest tightened again. She knew they ruined each other. She could admit it to it, that perhaps she had never fully allowed herself to do before. Every argument, every kiss and every moment they curled and twisted the sheets underneath them was too dangerous.

It wasn't it love, it never was. And if it was, it was a kind that devoured till they'd be nothing but ash and bones.

Another crack of thunder violently split through the night sky as Cellese flinched. Her fingers pressed more firmly against her stomach.

A child born in the ruins of the chaos that was her and Aerions possession over the other. Panic set in slowly, then all at once in her body. Now it wasn't just her anymore, it was not just her life caught between the imbalances of Aerions mood. 

It was something harmless, innocent. Something that had no choice in the matter.

Cellese could imagine no greater torture than being raised by a man like Aerion. To be shaped by a father who's only god was his own will. She was raised by a man like that. Her father was a man much like Aerion that refused to bend to the will and laws that did not satisfy him.

And as a child raised by an unrelenting man that casted shame and judgement on sons who'd never chosen to be born, she feared the life her child would have. They would not only by shaped by it, but harmed by it. Aerion was barely able to keep his temper at bay for a cat, no less a babe.

Her world now felt so small and fragile. For the first time in years Cellese felt vulnerable as tears started to burn against the corners of her eyes. No child deserved to have her as a mother. A mother who would fail to keep them safe from the madness that consumed her husbands twisted mind.

No child deserved to be born into fear.

Their door creaked open. Cellese did not move because she heard him before she even saw him. His measured stride as the door shut behind him with a thud. Slowly, Cellese turned to her side, her back facing him as she pulled the blankets closer hoping to keep him at distance, even if it was just as physical.

She could not bare to look at him. Not tonight, not after what he had done since they arrived in Ashford. The constant spectacle Aerion made of everything and the humiliation he left her with.

The shame of Ser Duncans accusation, Tanselle's broken finger as her screams still rang in Cellese's ears. But it all felt so distant now that another tragedy struck her heart. Hiding underneath the covers her hand rested on her stomach as she heard his footsteps approach closer to the bed.

"What is this?" Aerion's voice muffled as Cellese forced herself to pull the covers from her face "You dare to lay in my bed when you took the side of the hedge knight Cellese?" 

Cellese turned to face him, still rested on her side "You truly believe you've been offended? That you are the victim of a series of events you started?"

"The girl was a traitor, as well as the hedge knight." Aerion slowly sat on the edge of their bed, his hand too comfortably on his daggers hilt "You are a Targaryen by marriage. It is expected of you to defend our name against such slanders and traitorous acts."

"Oh please." Cellese rolled her eyes as she sat up in their bed "I know you. Better than anyone and I know what I saw in your eyes before the dragon was slain." 

"And what might that be?" Aerion threatened 

It was wonder. A childlike wonder and innocence Aerion so often hated seeing in Aegons eye. He'd always favor the legend of the dragons, he studied them down to the detail of their scale color. Aerion had the most dedicated knowledge to Valyrian history that Cellese had ever seen. 

She had no doubt in the amazement of Tanselle's showcase of the dragon before it was slain and Aerion took offense. But none of it mattered anymore, not when a Trial of the Seven would be invoked on the morrow and she'd face uncertainty over the future of her marriage.

"Aerion, if you have come to argue you may leave. I have no energy for whatever fight you aim to have." 

"You dare think of yourself as innocent when you've humiliated me at council?!" Aerion's voice roared as he leapt onto the bed, forcing Cellese to rise to her knees as he held her with a violent grip "Look at me!" he snapped "You stood before them and made a mockery of me! You've made me look weak and unable to control my wife!" he exclaimed as his grip tightened "For that alone you should thank whatever gods you pray that I did not have your head where you stood."

Everything in his threat, as ugly as it was made her want to cry more. Further evidence that she could not bring Aerions child into their world. 

Aerion waited for her to flinch, to plead, even react. But Cellese refused, she looked at him and felt nothing. No fear or anger. Just a quiet clarity that made his temper all the more insignificant. Compared to his fiery tempered wife, he did not enjoy this. He wanted a cry from her and all she did was push him off of her. 

Firmly and steady, she forced distance between them "Finished?" she asked, her voice flat and exhausted. Cellese shifted back on their back, her gaze to the silks covering her legs "You speak of humiliation as though I am the one who brought it into that room." she looked at him, her eyes leering him up and down in disgust "Where do you find the nerve to feel wronged by me? You who struck an innocent girl, you who punished a defenseless knight?" Cellese's head titled as she sneered at him "You who forced me to come to this tourney of which you have made a mockery as soon as we arrived? And somehow, I bring shame onto you? No, you have done that to yourself."

"The dragon will never lose." Aerion's tone low and seething "You have forsaken your vows in obeying my command. You forget yourself and what you married."

"You are no dragon Aerion." Cellese remarked "You are a man with a loose tooth and a bruised ego." 

"Bold words from a woman who cowered behind her father." Aerion shot back. His chest rose as anger still consumed him just by the sight of her "Since you clearly favor all but the man your loyalty should be obligated to, let this be clear if you favor that hedge knight again, I swear I will have your head sent back to your mother. I'll easily find a wife who will know her place and serve her husband better than you can."

Cellese let out a quiet scoff, turning her gaze away from him "If that is what you think matters to me, you are more foolish than I thought." 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Aerion's jaw tightened "You further insult me by-" 

"Aerion enough!" Cellese shouted as she could not stop herself from crying. She quickly wiped the tears from her eye, taking a deep breath before facing him. Her heart beating hard against her chest as she reached for his hand. Her movements hesitant and small but Aerion reacted immediately. His hand jerked away as his rejection was sharp.

Cellese's stomach twisted, feeling a fool for even trying as she bit the inside corners of her lips before she steadied herself "You can not lose." she muttered, her eyes looking up and blinking her threatening tears away 

"Speak plainly, wife." Aerion threatened.

"I said you can not lose." She repeated, her tone more firm as she looked back at him, her hands under the covers as she traced the dried blood from the crescent in her hand "This is no game anymore. It's more than your petty revenge. Wrong as you may be, I will not stand to see you humiliate us again."

Aerion opened his mouth, before closing it again. As much as he tolerated so much of his wife, he despised nothing more than her riddles.

"If you lose during this trial of the seven, you hand my father all he needs to annul our marriage." She said bluntly.

"Your fool of a father would not dare." 

"He could, he has already decided and is determined to see his mission to the end." Cellese cut in. Her words tighter and more dangerous now.

"Then I will win." Aerion argued back. So certain and immediate. His predictability another eye roll Cellese could not afford in that moment.

"Winning isn't enough, you fool." Cellese shook her head, laying back on the bed as she stared at the ceiling. Counting the tiny stones under the wooden beams, a silent prayer that one might strike them as the thunder cut through the night "You cannot withdraww your accusation and you can not die. I won't allow it. I will drag you by the depths of your retched soul before I let you make a widow of me."

"Why?" Aerion's brows furrowed, his irritation sharper "Many would think you'd be relieved at even the thought of being rid of me."

Cellese turned her head and held his gaze, steady and unwavering. No sign of fear for the moment that would shape the rest of their lives. She needed to be strong, strong enough to will the words to leave her mouth and gather the strength she could only hope she passes to their child "Because I will not have our child grow up with a father who is remembered as a coward." 

Then her words fell into his skin like the sharpest blade. For a moment, neither said anything. There was nothing but a void in the chambers. No storm, no breath, no yelling or fighting. Aerion stared at her, unable to even comprehend her threat "You..."

"I am with child." 

As the dawn would break for the Trial of the Seven, an unfamiliar silence was heard the halls of Cellese and Aerions corridor. There was no loud and explosive fight, no insults hurled to one another and no sound of cries and moans that bounced off the wall. No, something more dangerous settled in their chamber that night.

Consequence.

AUTHORS NOTE:

all the men in cellese's life are so annoying and got wayy too much audacity