Rintarou carried himself like a zombie.

He looked sad, he acted miserably, he hardly managed to keep himself awake, snacks increased and body health decreased, he seemed to be slacking off in class although he really was trying to keep up, and Kiyoomi had dismissed him from cooking his meals. He couldn't bare to see that happening to him but he didn't know what to do.

Rintarou seemed to have found Osamu's shirt the next time their laundry was washed and he wore it every opportunity he got, treating it as if it were a sacred item that had to be stuck to him at every waking moment.

Atsumu even backed off from picking on him─ possibly from what Osamu had told him─ and that alone was enough to make Kiyoomi question what was happening. He hated being left in the dark but when no one seemed to be questioning Rintarou's actions, Kiyoomi wondered if that had happened before.

The one thing that was still common was Rintarou crawling into Kiyoomi's arms at any hour of the day whether it be midnight or midday and simply cry for a little bit before thanking him and going about as if he hadn't just done that.

Then finally, Rintarou was home earlier than usual one day and sat at the kitchen counter, phone in front of him as it turned on every so often with a random notification and each and every time, he stared at his wallpaper of him and Osamu until the screen went dark. He loved his wallpaper way too much and he was feeling himself craving his best friend's presence more and more.

It continued every so often until suddenly, his phone went off with a call, Rintarou instantly answering and putting it on loudspeaker without looking at the ID or number.

"Hello?"

"Stupid bitch. Why the fuck did I get a call from your grandma? She said Osamu asked her if she knew why you looked so tired!"

Rintarou quickly looked at his screen, stomach dropping as his eyes widened upon noticing the strange number and recognizing his Father's voice.

"Fuck you too," Rintarou hissed, instantly ending the call as he blocked the number.

He couldn't bare to look at Kiyoomi. He could feel the stare and the questioning gaze but he refused to look up. He refused to see the eyes that silently questioned and begged him to tell what was going on. He knew he cared. He knew but he didn't want them to worry and without realizing it, he made everyone worry more by being quiet.

"Rin-"

"No. Don't question it," Rintarou whispered, his voice horribly sad as he blankly stared at his phone wallpaper. "I'm fine. No, more like it'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

"Rin, I won't tell you to tell me but whoever that was, they said Osamu questioned it. He's worried, Rin. He went out to try and find out why you're suddenly so tired. You don't have to tell him but I think you should let him be a shoulder to cry on as well. Not just me. That's not my job although I don't mind but I think he needs to know your condition more than I ever do. He's your best friend and he loves you."

Rintarou stayed quiet, dread inside as he noticed his life was slowly beginning to get out.

"Thanks. But I'll be fine. Just let me cry on you. Please don't say I can't use you as a comfort source."

And Kiyoomi nodded because that was the least he could do.

._._.

Dark days were sure to go away, they wouldn't have the final say. Because bones were always made to fade when they take their perpetual rest. The moment someone takes their final breath is the moment all their fears are put to rest and every tear disappears.

That was what Rintarou wanted. He wanted out but he didn't want it by finding comfort in burdening someone. He wanted it by way of the grave if it came down to it. But he wasn't in it bad enough to end everything instantly.

He could see it in Osamu whenever they face timed, he could see it in Kiyoomi each time they sat at the kitchen table or counter, he could see it in Atsumu with the way he was no longer picking on him and occasionally dropping him snacks that his favourite twin would surely disapprove of, and he could see it in himself whenever he passed the mirrors that seemed to exist only to laugh at him. He could see that his being was deteriorating and he never had an answer when questioned, always stating that it was school and that he'd be fine.

Kiyoomi never mentioned the call after that, not once, but there comes a point where curiosity gets the better of you and you use your incredibly high family status to snoop your way into your friend's life to see if there's any way to help. Of course, Kiyoomi didn't ask for permission nor did he want serious details but things like family abandoning you were pretty high on the list of serious details.

Every now and then he'd slip some money into Rintarou's bag, never telling a soul about what he had found out and never changing his behaviour because although Rintarou would probably shun him or at the very least, be pissed for a while, he wouldn't leave it acknowledged. Except, he wouldn't care if he was shunned because he wanted what was best for his boyfriend's brother's crush.

Wow, complicated family tree of sorts.

Rintarou swore he was possibly going through he five stages of grief. He could just feel it.

Denial? Whether it meant denying help or denying that he wasn't okay, he went through both. Anger? The feeling of pure and raw emotions of fire when he didn't see Osamu off probably didn't count but he accepted it as one of the five because that was the most memorable anger he had felt in a while. Bargaining? The fact that he had asked Kiyoomi to be his shoulder to cry on instead of opting to tell Osamu probably wasn't bargaining but it'd work. Depression? Enough said. Acceptance?

Now that was the one he was just getting to. He was accepting the fact that he didn't want to burden anyone and he would have to live that misery alone. He was accepting that his feeling would be hidden and Osamu didn't have to find out. He was accepting himself as darkness.