What.

Have.

I.

done?

I stare at Gem as she falls still, unable to breathe as the truth sets in.

I did this. 

'You- you...' I turn to Pearl, smiling, unremorseful about what she's done to one of her best friends. I can't look at Gem. Grian's still not moved.

'I did what I promised. You can leave.'

'No... No you KNOW what I agreed to.' I aim another arrow as silently as I can, out of the vex magic potions me and Scar discovered we could make back in season 6. Part of me doesn't want to do this. The other half knows we need to get out. And that even if she's brought back to normal she'll regret her actions too much to cope. My sword's sheathed at my side, ready to pull out if this fails.

I fire.

Miss, but I'm running forwards anyway, drawing my sword, slashing...

Pain.

Sculk, shoving me to the ground. I scramble away as fast as I can as Pearl approaches, pointing her axe at me. The almost-warden she summoned, even stronger after killing Gem, lumbers behind.

'Don't you even try, Vex.' Pearl growls. 'I will give you a minute to leave. If you're not leaving by then, I revoke my deal.'

I turn to Grian, next to me, just crying. Memories of what I did to him flood back. Memories of the pain I caused...

'Grian... I know I'm the last person you want to talk to, but we need to go.' I murmur as softly as I can. No reply. 'I won't let anything hurt you, but we need to go... Grian please.'

A glance over, eyes wide, full of almost animalistic terror.

'Do it for Scar. If we get up now, we can stay safe and... We can back for Scar later. I promise.' Part of me longs to run past Pearl and not stop running until I'm with Scar again. The rest knows Pearl would take Grian's life too.

'Scar...?'

'If I put an arm around your shoulder to help you stand, will it be ok?'

A nod.

I help Grian stand, but have to step away if I want to bring back Gem with us. He stays balanced, watching me lift and carry her.

'Come on.'

We return to the portal. The whole time I'm wary of the scratches down Grian's back... They're not bleeding too much, are they? The paleness is just fear... We reach the portal. Grian heads through.

'Scar, I'll be back. I promise.' I murmur, before following.

The other side is chaos. Shouting hermits. Iskall's with the collapsed Grian, yelling for potions. Jevin and Hypno are next to me in seconds.

'Are you alright, man? Wait- is...'

Jevin stops, seeing Gem. As Hypno takes her from me, laying her down, pure grief and guilt and pain washes over me. I sink to the ground, sobbing. Hypno mutters something. All I hear is 'dead'.

'I TOLD you they needed help!' comes the distance scream of Martyn. I hear Jimmy trying to console him, until news of Mumbo and Gem spreads. The room falls to near silence.

'It's all my fault...' I mumble through the tears. Jevin and Hypno stay next to me. 'It's- it's all my fault...'

'Cub, it's ok.'

'No- no it's...'

Another thought.

Someone needs to tell Impulse.

Impulse, who's already lost so much and faced so much.

I need to tell him.

'What? Who? What are you...?'

A moment too late I realise I spoke aloud.

'I need to tell Impulse what happened.' I repeat.

'No, Cub, you need rest. You're utterly exhausted, man.' Hypno nods in agreement. I push past both, standing.

'I let Gem die. I need to say what happened. Grian needs rest. No one else was there... Is he up on the surface?' The plan set in my mind I stand, wiping the last tears off my face.

'Cub, seriously. You need rest. You just fought Pearl, and you got hurt doing it...' Hypno insists.

'Keralis, is there any way to the surface that isn't the main path?' I ask the closest hermit I can.

'Yeah, me and xB made bubble columns up and down over there.'

'Great.'

You whispered to impulseSV: There's something you need to know

impulseSV whispered to you: what happened to gem

you whispered to impulseSV: there's a bubble elevator down to the safe zone

you whispered to impulseSV: I want to tell you in person

15 minutes later he appears, the route in thankfully more obvious that I fears. I accepted Jevin and Hypno's insistence to sit down, but can't any more at the sight of him looking for me... Terror and confusion cross his face.

'Impulse.' I reach him.

'What happened? Where's Gem?'

'Cub, please, you need to...'

'I let Pearl kill her.'

'What?'

'I'm sorry.'

'No- no you can't just be SORRY!' Tears shine in his eyes.

'Impulse, it wasn't his-'

'I told Pearl she could only let 2 of us go... I though she'd do what I said and take me.' I can't look at Impulse, close to crying again. He isn't speaking, wordlessly mouthing 'No... No no...'.

'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'

'Impulse, it'll be ok.'

'GEM'S DEAD JEVIN!' Impulse yells, shoving Jevin.

'Impulse, calm down.'

'You- you can't talk after- after what you did.'

'I know, but please listen to me. Calm down. Please. Don't take it out on Jev-'

I stagger back as Impulse punches me. All eyes are on us. Jevin's back on his feet, trying to help Hypno restrain Impulse.

'Stop this, Impulse. Please.' He insists. Impulse doesn't listen.

'I WISH PEARL HAD KILLED YOU!'

'SAME!' I'm crying. Properly crying in front of all the hermits. 'I WOULD'VE STAYED IF GRIAN HADN'T NEEDED ME! I- I SHOULD'VE STAYED!'

'THEN GO BACK!'

'FINE!'

I have to get away. Jevin yells my name as I break into a run, escaping the shocked circle of hermits, heading back down towards the portal and-

'NO!'

I hit the wall. Hard. Jevin doesn't let go, keeping me pinned there, dark slime eyes staring directly at mine.

'Cub, I know you're upset, and you hate yourself, and Impulse isn't helping, but don't do this.'

'I have to make this right.'

'Not now. Once you've recovered, and gained strength again, you can go back for Scar and Pearl. But you need to calm down and rest now.'

'I miss him.' I whisper back, voice breaking as I try not to cry. 'He doesn't deserve this. I keep thinking of him stuck there and... And I need to prove myself after...'

'It wasn't your fault.'

'You weren't there.'

'Grian said you saved him, and tried to sacrifice yourself for him and Gem. And you saved Ren.'

'Martyn saved Ren.'

'You helped. Come on. Bed. Now. And if you don't want to face everyone again, here. Ok?'

'And we need more people.' I addm 'Who know how to fight sculk.'

'Tomorrow, ok?' After a moment, I nod, lying down, mentally preparing for the task of bringing a certain non-hermit into the fight.