Is this real?
Why am I so complicated?
I wish my brain and body could be seperated
I can't breath
I can't function nor think
My flashbacks and horrid memories always comes flashing in a blink

"Leave me the fuck alone!"

I go to school
I follow the rules
I have a lot of friends
My parents have raised my for my entire life
They provide the food
The roof
A place to sleep and live
What more could they give?

"You don't know shit! Why the fuck can't anyone just go away?! Don't bother me, that's all I want!"

My grades are pretty good
I accept nothing lower than a C
My teachers all think highly of me
I'm the type people usually see

"I'm sick of this shit! I need to go, I want to live by myself and never see any of your faces again!"

I'm fairly quiet most of the time
My own father says he can't get a read on me
I thought that was a bad thing
He didn't know what made me upset, what caused me glee
He doesn't get it, no one does
That's the point, because he cares, but there's no love

"Shit!"

Two of my siblings left, thank goodness for that
I don't know how long I would've lasted without giving them plenty of smacks
The one who is here sees things not as clear
Going in one and out the ear
Blame cannot be put on those shoulders
No doubt they can irritate me, however, using the entirety is not fair

"Dumbass family!"

My mother is the kind with a line that you do not dare to cross
First sweet
Then annoying
Then intolerable
Somebody just kill me with a lunch table
She helps more than necessary, for that I am grateful
I say thank you without words, not like she would be thankful
It's hard to try when criticized for every move you make
I was put into this family, dear god, what happened to sanity?
Has it been misplaced?

"I can't stand being near any of them, can I graduate please?! Can I go to college now?!"

Please don't take this the wrong way, I am no saint
I can be quiet
Then loud
Then wicked
Then sweet
Then bleak
One goes after another on a constant basis
There was I time I charged this head on, I went face to face with this
I thought I overcame the beast within
I thought I was finally stuck somewhere and not floating in the wind
Is it lost?
Where could it have gone?
I pray to see it again, in my arms and never leave
Funny how I thought I was better, at least that is what I taught myself to believe

"They're all full of shit, can't they just let me be?!"

I hate tears
I hate feeling the wetness in my eyes and all of the fears
Admitting your weaknesses to those who wait to hurt you later down the road
They beg you to say the truth, then turn you away and you in turn explode
It's not worth the talks
It's not worth the struggle
You can't simply express your feelings when there's life and jobs to juggle
I was taught that, I was shown that, I cannot deny that

"Shut the fuck up, just go! I don't want you here, I don't want you in my life, I don't like you, so just LEAVE!"

Bottle up and run away
They'll look for you all day, they'll find some kind of way
Then you find yourself in your bedroom sitting alone in wonder
It's like a storm with hard crack of lightning and thunder
Punch the wall a few times
Throw some things around
Lash out and cause hellfire
You knew when it began, but it doesn't have an ending
The unknown cycle you do not wish to admire

"Take no for once, you can't accept no?! Am I a bad child because I said no for once?!"

Oh how I've tried to make amends
Oh how I've tried to make it end
It didn't stick
It never sticks
It stirs into mix so quick it's hard to fix
I am indescribable
No really, that's it
You can take many guesses to the non-exsistant traits
You're wrong, you're wrong, you're highly mistaken and out of touch

"Why can't everything just be normal?!"

I quit.