PROLOGUE: STORM

When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about.
-Haruki Murakami

Sometimes you're twelve and standing in your kitchen of your house- -that's too small for the people constantly in it- -and you're watching your dad bake with your older brother, and your sister is making coffee and your mom is handing out smoothies to the people she loves and you think hey, this is this kind of life I want when I'm older.

And sometimes you're fifteen and you're just learning about love, and you have earbuds in and can't be bothered to hear anything but the sad music you have on repeat.

Then you're sixteen and standing there, looking at all the romance books on your shelf and you're thinking why can't I have that and despite the bitterness you have towards it, you keep reading.

You're still sixteen and you keep getting into relationships you know won't last and eventually, the first one fades from your memory and the prospect of dating feels less exciting after you turn seventeen and your boyfriend cheats on you.

Seventeen when you learn the meaning of a toxic relationship past the definition your mother told you, and don't feel at home in your own skin or like everything is too tight on your body. Eighteen when your best friend- -to me, that's Jaelynn Sawyer- -moves to a college campus and makes you realize how big a one year gap can feel in a friendship.

Now, there's still her phone number plugged into my contacts labeled 'Bestie' and there's still photos of us goofing around in my gallery but she's not next to me to make memories anymore.

It's damaging to realize you only have one friend, and even more to realize you're scared to make new ones even though everyone you talk to is astounded to know you're lonely.

Like shit, I'm cool, I know that.

But Jae is an introvert and I'm also a lot to handle, so we never added anyone into a friend group over the years.

If I was the older one this probably wouldn't have been a problem.

All I can do now is just talk to whoever talks to me, and force myself to stay calm through every asthma attack because nobody else is around to rub my back.

There's always this slight, amazing feeling of nostalgia when she comes to visit but it only lasts for about five minutes before I realize she's almost a different person now- -she's still a good person- -and the times in our lives are so different, if we stayed as close as we were last year something would have been wrong.

I can't really remember how I got from that awkward twelve year old to where I am now, but sometimes I still feel fifteen and I still feel like that cheated-on seventeen year old. But it's a good reminder to hear those old shitty, sad songs and laugh along to the lyrics.

Those songs are over now.

And sure, maybe it could be considered a cruel turn of fate when the truck of the one boy I'm nearly desperate to be friends with- -and may, or may not, be slightly attracted to- -comes splashing down the road minutes after I broke down on my bike.

Cruel because I look like a drowned rat, I'm jumpy because of all this fucking thunder and because I'm pretty sure he's about to just up and pass me.

Thankfully- -is it thankfully when I legitimately want to scream at how dumb I look right now?- -he does come to a stop and quickly gets out, coming around the front of the car.

The first thing anyone notes about Zeno Bonnes, besides his amazing as fuck last name, is his height. He has at least three inches on most of my brothers, who regularly stand around 6'3-4.

Unlike them, he's not the obviously jacked out typical alpha male you'd expect but he's clearly strong -just like my shorter older brother Cas.

Being the youngest isn't that fun.

The second thing people notice is normally his eyes, which I know for a fact are two very different colors. He has one light blue eye and one hazel-yellow eye, which I deem awesome.

Right now, those eyes are pointed at me as he tries to block them from rain and his massive frame is leaning into me slightly, trying to let me hear him over the rain.

"Are you okay?" He asks, the 'K' coming through in a hard consonant. "Do you want help?"

Was me pulled over on the side of the road shaking like a leaf the only indicator, or am I missing something?

Ignoring my inner sarcasm, I try to focus more and only end up wincing and wide-eyed as more thunder sounds out.

Storms aren't something I just casually hate, for some reason I'm legitimately afraid of lighting and thunder does a great job of freaking me out.

"Sorry." Zeno says and I completely miss what he's apologizing for, but he pulls his beanie up some, letting me see more of his rather pleasant face in what I'd guess is a peace gesture towards himself. "Help?"

"Ah, yes please." I respond, but don't think he heard me as he steps close, leaning more down to hear me. "You're Zeno."

Zeno blinks, confused like I'm speaking an entire other language.

Over the months I've, let's call it, observed him, I've noticed he's a bit hard of hearing and talks slow too. I'm decently sure he has hearing aids but nobody's ever said anything and I haven't seen him use ASL so I'm not certain.

So his confusion is understandable, and I'm not about to call him out on it, especially not in the middle of a storm where the rain is fucking insane. I point to him, saying his name again then point back to me and say, "Eris!"

This time, he does nod.

"Can you help?" I ask, really hoping he actually stopped instead of coincidentally breaking down in exactly the same place I did.

"Inside?" Zeno asks, nodding as he motions between my bike and his truck.

"Yes please!" I nod, brushing my hair- -that I dyed bright purple- -from my eyes, grateful I don't have to leave my bike on the side of a random street. When thunder rings out again, I jump. "I fucking hate thunder!"

Zeno walks around my bike, handing me the keys and I wait for any signal to start helping him but he never gives me any, just points up to the truck again. "Inside?"

Raising an eyebrow, I blink up at him. "Don't you need help?"

Though I'll be the first to admit, I wouldn't be much help.

Apparently Zeno has the same thought because he shakes his head and points to the front of the truck before picking up my precious motorcycle like it's fucking nothing and puts it in the back of his truck.

All the time he spends putting a tarp both I'm surprised and grateful he has over my bike securely, I spend trying to actually get up into the truck.

Nobody can judge me because I'm just 5'2" the big ass step he uses to get in is basically at my hip. Maybe that wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't wet, and the door didn't open wide enough that I can't fucking reach the handle when I'm on the step but it is one!

Why can't I be as tall as Selene?

Not only her, but all my older sisters are taller than me and it's bullshit.

Zeno, absentmindedly, hops in the truck like it's nothing and it almost makes me mad how tall he is. He doesn't even glance at me and stares off into the rain for a moment.

I have enough siblings with ADHD to know that he's just not focusing right right now, so I wave a small hand in his face and it pretty easily snaps him back to reality.

"Sorry." He mumbles, both 'R's coming through in a heavy, odd accent. "What is it?"

Oh god, I have to have an excuse?

Um...

"Are you sure I can get your seats wet?" I pause, catching sight of his now obvious hearing aids now that his beanie pulled his hair back when he took it off. "Oh. Is it better if I sign?"

Thank goodness Cas's boyfriend knows a million fucking languages.

I instantly curse myself off when Zeno grimaces and pulls his beanie back on. Was that insulting? Did I fuck up? Fuck.

"I...can hear you." He eventually says, going back to face the road. "Old Greggers?"

The mechanic shop? That's where we're heading? Okay.

"That's fine." Nodding, I agree easily. That's probably less than three blocks home if I remember right, and that's an easy walk when you're already wet and cold. "You work there?"

Otherwise it'd be weird going there at seven at night.

"Thanks for this, Zeno. And um, sorry for getting your seat wet? Also, like, no conversation needed I guess, if you're not comfortable talking." I pause and I really am about to ramble on but then a giant boom rings out and I see a thick ass lightning bolt shoot the street behind us and jump enough in my seat that it makes me realize I didn't put my seatbelt on.

That's before Zeno swerves in the street and I'm sent to the side, saved by a rather large arm pinning my waist to the seat until he can safely park the truck.

Holy fuck.

I know it's illogical, just from a single lightning bolt, but I feel like I just almost died. And it wasn't even in a cool way, it would just be my forehead through a windshield.

"Seat belt." Zeno taps on my shoulder like at this point in the night I'd need another reminder. "Seat belt, now."

Finding it myself to roll my eyes, I tease him if only to relieve the tension. "Okay, Mom."

"Hurt, Scared?" He picks through my humor to my fear, which makes me feel oddly defenseless.

I shrug. "I mean... fuck, I just really don't like storms but what can you do, you know?"

Zeno hums in reply, starting the car back up again. "I don't like them either."

"Yeah, they're shit." I giggle out, pulling my hair back up in a ponytail. It's almost cute how awkward such a massive confident-looking boy like him can be. "Sorry I'm taking time out of your drive, I know getting to work on time is important."

"It's fine." He nods. "Not late. Gives me something to do."

I've noticed he does that, cut his sentences short to say the least amount of words possible. It doesn't make him sound stupid or anything, it's just a bit odd, but nothing that makes me feel weird around him.

Nothing I have to mention either, so I just stick to questions like "You're a mechanic then?" and he just sticks to nodding in reply.

"That's actually pretty cool, my older brother's a mechanic. He fixes up these really sweet cars and sells them to old rich white people for an insane amount of money. If you ever want to see any of the cars, or have him show you how to get into the business of that to help out with college, or just life in general, tell me." My rambling can get annoying, but he doesn't cut me short. "Well, tell me during class anyway. I realized after I said that that you don't have my number. But yeah, I don't like a lot of rich people. Some are okay."

"Thank you." The mechanic replies politely, pausing a bit. "Can I fix your bike?"

"Sure! I mean, if you're asking you'd probably be bored at work anyway." Grinning at him, I try my best to ignore the thunder and how really good looking he is right now. "Plus it would be rude to go to a different mechanic after all this, because somebody needs to fix it. And that's definitely not going to be me."

"Okay." Zeno pauses, glancing at me for a second, not catching onto my staring -something I'm grateful for. "I know you?"

Uh...no, but that sounds weird.

"You do not, but please don't think that's creepy." It would be bad if he didn't think that was creepy until I said it. "We're in the same grade, and I'm in your gym class. And your lunch hour, but I go to the library so you wouldn't have seen me. Do I sound like a stalker? That'd be weird, anyway, the short answer is no, but I wish!"

I actually do wish, that's not a lie at all but I'd be lying if I said that didn't sound sarcastic even to me.

He seems like a really chill dude.

Why wouldn't I want to be his friend?

"Not creepy." Zeno confirms, turning into the road Old Greggers is down. "Just observant. I don't know anyone at school."

"I'll be honest-" I'm too honest, one of my biggest flaws. "-and stop me when this gets weird, but I've wanted to be your friend for a while. I just genuinely never thought that you'd A, like to be my friend and B, even like humanity in general."

Which is such a mood.

"But if you ever want a friend at lunch, I'll be in the library, and if you need a gym partner, I'm there. I won't hesitate to kick your ass if it's a competition though."

One of my bad habits is always snapping the hair ties or rubber bands I have on my wrist, and normally don't catch it until I bruise or bleed and I'm very sure I just did that when Zeno says "Stop." and his hand is coming down to brush against my wrist as a silent cue.

Jae used to do that for me too, so I don't question it and quickly pocket the hair tie instead of keeping it on my wrist.

It's not long before we're in the garage of Old Greggers and I'm able to not-so gracefully jump from the truck step. Zeno doesn't catch that, busy pulling the tarp away, but I'm too busy looking around the place that I don't notice his eyes on me.

But I do catch him looking away when I look back to him.

Other than the mismatch eyes, Zeno has a scar over his nose where I'm assuming he broke it and though it's not the most pleasant to the eye thing, I think it adds good character to him.

"Friends?" The mechanic questions me, chin pointed down to face me.

Half-grinning, half-smirking at this accomplishment, I hold my hand out for him to take in what I consider to be a very serious emotional contract. "Friends!"

After a second of thought Zeno takes my hand and I notice how warm he is and that's not half as startling as noticing how large his hand is compared to mine.

The dude really is ginormous.

Because he definitely wasn't going to start a new conversation up, I took it upon myself to ask a question I already knew the answer to. "Old G's is like, only two and a half blocks from Kingston road, right?" Of course, he answers in a nod and I keep grinning. "Sweet."

Pausing in the step he took away from me, Zeno's eyes narrow at me. "Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? I'm walking home, I just wanted to make sure I knew my route, which I do. Being lost would suck." I tell him, humor lacing my voice. That should have been obvious, shouldn't it?

He already helped me enough.

"No." Zeno shakes his head, crossing his arms as he points his chin towards the open garage door when rain pelts down heavily. "Fear. Rain. Bad divers. Mud. Thunder. I'll... I'll get your bike inside, then drop you off? Easier. Quicker. Yes?"

He's just...adorable.

But I can't let that fact convince me.

Blinking up at him, I glance back to the shop. "You're already at work? It's unnecessary work -I mean, it's two blocks. I'm already soaked. What's the point?"

Zeno waves his hand as if waving me off, but then it's too long for that and he only taps my shoulder when I look at his hand, before tapping his own shoulder. "Concerned. Please."

"Ah, you have anxiety about a chick walking alone in the rain." Piecing this together, I lean into him with a smirk. He's concerned about me. That's cute. "I've done it before, Zeno. But if you're really worried and won't get in trouble at work for being late or leaving, and I'm seriously about this I'm not gonna let you get in trouble, then I'll let you drive me home."

"No trouble." The mechanic shakes his head. "One hour is my starting time."

He says hour like 'ow-her' instead of 'ow-wer' and over pronounces his 'T's but I'll put that to his half-deafness and speech therapy rather than any accent he has.

Is it bad I find that cute too?

Of course, I don't tell him that- -he didn't ask- -and I just watch as he walks my bike over to what I assume is his station.

Turning back to the truck I sigh in defeat at the height of the truck again, a glare quickly coming onto my features and I don't bother to drop it as Zeno catches my attention as he slips inside the truck after putting towels down.

"Sorry," He says. "Help?"

"Yes, please." I say this as nice as my mom would want me to too, but that's taken away by my next sentence. "This truck is too fucking tall."

"Short human." Zeno calls me in reply, surprising me enough that I don't argue before he's climbing out and rounding the hood to get to me. As soon as I'm up I start wiggling until I'm comfortable, the towel being awkward compared to the wet leather on my back.

It's barely a five minute drive, even in this weather on the shitty dirt roads our small town has to offer, and I'm able to direct Zeno right to my house.

Turning to him, I raise an eyebrow. "See you tomorrow?"

It is a Monday, after all. It would be nice, I think, to share a table at the library or even have a gym partner. Or if he doesn't want to do either of that, just someone to complain with at the end of school.

I give him a big grin and love it, absolutely love it, when he smiles back at me.

Zeno nods, waving awkwardly. "Tomorrow."

Yeah, this awkward bean pole is definitely cute.

Happy with that answer, I jump down keys in hand with my broken down bike, phone dead in my back pocket and a new friend in total as today's accomplishments.

Even in the rain, I find myself bouncing up the steps to get inside.

I made a friend...