Combined two requests one from the Robin to my Jack otherwise known as 32waystoAutumn and the other from someone awesome _ImJustCaitlin_

You guys!! Holy shit, I've been away for so long due to my lack of internet as I began a new chapter recently but I'm back now (if you've recently or left a request in the past that you think hasn't been written yet please message me to give me a gentle reminder as I'm a forgetful numpty)

Jack considers himself to have two masks, well, he wouldn't like to ever call them masks because that makes it sound like hes actually hiding anything when in reality is isn't really the case typically, he likes his privacy as much as the next guy but he doesn't like to hide things. And he wouldn't call it two personalities either, as hes still the same. But nonetheless their are differences between Jack, on camera and off.

Camera Jack is a lot more bolder and brash than off-camera Jack. Yells a little louder, expresses feelings a little easier; tries a little harder. His soft side shows, much more-so than it does in person which given, is strange but Jack could talk to a camera about emotions and childhood stories for hours but with people its entirely a different story. He can speak to people about his favorite color or season, or video game - but speaking about feelings is a different thing all together.

On camera is seems so easy to reach out; be reached out too - knowing there's someone, somewhere out there feeling the same thing you do and with a community as big as Jacks is now, its usually more than just someone. Jacks well received because of how warm and inviting he is as a person and he is still compelling in real life but hes a little more standoffish and closed, feelings un-obvious to someone who isn't looking. Jack sort of prefers it that way, doesn't feel like a burden like that. It means hes a little more distant from his friends and little closer to his camera and those behind it, it doesn't particularly bother him that way.

Only a few getting a glimpse at his heart and hearing him speak out about things, even then it still feels too vulernable like hes a fish out of water, just squirming to get back to safety. Yeah, Jack likes the safety of being behind a camera and of course, his ramblings or reminisce aren't always recieved as they should be or with kindess but Jacks gotten used to that and he doesn't mind his own thoughts being open to interpretation; it gets the community talking - thats what he really likes too, the conversation - whether its on his thoughts about a game or his thoughts of the world in general.

;

Mark is sort of the same; likes to think he has different versions of him on and off a camera but still keeps the same traits just lesser, perhaps. He cares so much for everything he does and it shows off and on camera. Cares too much hes been told - for the people around him, for whatever hes doing be it exercising or streaming. Marks had to draw back on the effort he puts into people these days, though. Too many snakes in the grass when hes just trying to pick some flowers maybe that has lead him to be a little shut off from meeting people more than usual not that, that was ever his strong suit. He gets drained out pretty easily from social interaction  of all kinds but recording videos and being involved with the community never seems to take it out of him - Hes connected with fans but he doesn't ever feel like he has to explain things in detail. Hes blessed enough to have a open-minded and non pressuring community, one which doesn't ask questions - at least ones that get spread.

Sometimes things peek out though; when hes getting too carried away in a game that means a lot too him and he rambles about certain things and those times it feels like there's been a weight snatched from his chest and it does make him feel better but it doesn't happen often; like moonlight peeking through closed curtains - its soft and bright when it does happen. Like a gaze upon whats really through the curtains, what Mark really feels.

He doesn't express much anger either - thats something the pair both share; rage, maybe but thats a different story, true anger Mark nor Jack don't chose to entertain especially Mark, he used to be angry often and it lead to horrible decisions and harshly spoken words filled with venom that wasn't really sincere but hurt the same.

So when the pair come together its like waves crashing against the shore harshly or lighting and thunder happening at the same time, in the best of ways.

;

The share a lot even if they don't really share a lot - passions for video games and the little details (like walking over a snowy area and it leaving behind footprints or the dogs collar making a noise when the dogs head moves to the side in curiosity.) Passion for their careers; relentless workers even if at the sake of their health although Jack would like to think hes getting better at that but hes got a long way to go. Its good to have someone that's so close to how you are and yet so far away at the same time.

What Jack treasures the most about the pairs friendship-turned-relationship (after a long day and a loose tongue, the pair had ended up agreeing that they were always sort of more than friends but were too scared to name whatever it was they had), is when the little peeks of emotion come out when they're rambling about memories brought back to them by some word or something one of them said; when you can hear the foundess in Marks soft baritone even through the phone speaker at five am or when Jack slips out a soft 'I love you.' through laughter. It doesn't happen often but when it does, it lingers in the air for both of them; sticking with them throughout the rest of the day.

The pair being the non-secretive types would like to reveal their relationship to the viewers (to be honest, it was mainly because Jack was sick of editing out him speaking about Mark more than usual, for example when he recently played an indie horror game he couldn't stop mumbling about how much Mark would like it) and with what he did leave in speaking so fondly about the raven haired man fans had picked up and questioned.

But Jack can't stop thinking about what would happen if they did - sure, the regular shippers would be over the moon but what about the rest? Would they care, or would it be some crazy thing? Is it really a risk to announce it, the thoughts spiral out of control and only seem to lead to worse and harsher roads. Jack doesn't mention the uncertainty and lingering hints of insecurity he feels, there's no need to upload it on him right now - maybe hes getting to ahead of himself. Mark might not want to announce it so early into the relationship.

;

It isn't until they're able to stand in front of one and other in person; words failing the pair as they just stand, staring at each other as if they can't believe they're standing in front of one and other for real.

Marks eyes look like Jacks favorite type of coffee somewhere between sweet and bitter. Hes effortlessly handsome, soft and flannel clad; strong arms that even without them around Jack make him feel safe - Mark himself radiates safe, and suddenly Jacks forgotten about what worry is.

Jacks eyes look like the sky on Marks favorite days, when there's a light breeze under his feet and not a single cloud above him, when the sky seems to stretch forever and Mark feels like he could just float into space. His brown locks atop his head make Marks fingers tingle, just wanting to run his fingers through it. The pair decide that words wouldn't be enough so in silent as Mark extends his arms and Jack falls into them. Jack can hear Marks heart beat racing and hes sure it mimics his own, there's usually always words in Jacks mouth but today, he can't seem to find any.

There's something absolutely terrifying at how easy Jack fits into Marks household, how belonging he looks sat on his couch with Chica between his legs cuddling into her. Something even more terrifying his how comfortable Mark is, how much Jack seems to recharge his batteries rather than drain them; its dangerous. Mark knows.

Mark knows its dangerous to go down this road; of stolen glances and far-too sweet looks so early, too dangerous to think about Jacks slender fingers with some type of ring across them that catches the sunlight when they're out walking in dog parks together, to early to feel like Jack should be his and his only.

Too early to turn over amongst silken sheets to already find familiar blue eyes staring back at him. Too early to pull the man of his thoughts closer, share warmth and feel comfortable and domestic. As if Mark can just keep him here forever and it stings to know he can't. Not right now.

"We'll tell the people." Mark murmurs against Jacks messy hair, finishing the sentence with a soft kiss atop his locks.

"I'm afraid." Jack mutters through a yawn and it tugs at Marks heart strings, like he wants to fight off and destroy whatever is scaring the man wrapped in his arms.

"People will support us regardless. There'll be people that don't and people who do but I have your back and so will thousands of other people." Mark trails off towards the end, sentence breaking and under-the-surface feelings surfacing. It makes Mark feel vulernable, and a little weak. He can usually keep floods of feelings at bay but with Jack it seems like he opens the gates everytime.

"Okay, we'll film tomorrow." Jack allows himself to drift off back to sleep, within the safety of Marks arms and knowing things are taking care of. Normally, He wouldn't be able to sleep so peacefully but he does; doesn't let Mark know so.

He should. He doesn't.

And soon enough, their plans to tell people in their own time, gets blown out of the water when a fan snaps pictures of their hands interlocked and that photo is posted everywhere; countless mentions of the pair - question and after question and Jacks panicking in Marks living-room ready to delete all social medias and disappear. As Mark rages, angry at the fact their choice to tell people has been robbed from them - and the pair agree to tell people as soon as possible, to get it out the way and Mark wishes it wasn't this way, wishes they had the freedom and less pressure to tell everyone when they pleased but he knows lying won't fix this either.

;

Its easier to film than to think, Jack realizes as soon as they step on camera; the worries are shut off and the pair are bold and confident, making jokes and stealing glances as well as smiles. but underneath the table that they're sat at, Jack has a grip of pure steel onto Marks hand - a projection of his nervousness; Jack doesn't care about hatred, its more so change that scares him. Scares him about their unsure road up-ahead and what will happen when Jack confesses too much or says the wrong thing, wonder what they'll argue about.

Wonders if like the last, Mark won't find his jokes as funny anymore, or if his loudness will become obnoxious, his exterior become cold. It makes Jacks heart sink slightly just thinking about the possibility of such thing happening again. If the arguments will be where have you been's or why are you avoiding me's, why are you always busy when I need yous. Wondering if the distance will be just too far for them. Jack doesn't know and it makes his head spin.

"Sean?" 

The name carries so much weight to it; As if Jack is the on camera upfront feeler and Sean is the hidden feelings he doesn't really know how to express and insecurity driven one, unspoken words one. Like Mark knows, knows which he is right now. But the look in Marks eyes says it all; soft hazel hues that don't hold any grudges, don't curse him for doing anything and he visibly relaxes.

;

The pair don't speak about the comments below the video, a dangerous cocktail of hatred and happiness for the pair. Jacks tired as they drive to airport - its been a quick time spent and he already misses it - misses the domestic feeling in his bones that never seems to disappear when hes around Mark. The video itself was easy, being on camera is easy but the impact in has off camera isn't. At least some of the viewers are happy.

When its the time to wave Jack goodbye as he stands at the airport, Mark wants to reach out and pull him back into his arms; ask (plead) him to stay. He doesn't. His fingers twitch by his side and Jack falls into his arms, as if he had read the mans mind and his arms wrap around him like they were meant too. Maybe they were, Mark doesn't think about it for too long. Then Jacks leaving from where hes meant to be and heading to the place he calls home and Mark misses him as soon as he leaves his arms.

Jack doesn't change anything about his channel minus editing out his rambles about a certain raven haired man, other than more frequent videos and they don't do as well as they used too, teetering on the edge of negative more than positive and the longer the pair ignore the worst it gets.

Mark notices it too and although they'd never do or change things for the sake of views; its sort of a confidence burden at this point, recieveing negativity no matter how much effort the pair put into the content regardless there was always some negativity there but not where as much as there is now.

;

That is, until Mark has an epiphany. If one community shuns them, then they'll make another. It comes at the right time, his idea when Jack is mopping over the sheer drop in his channel numbers as his and Marks community diminish. Jack isn't as naive as to think there would be no backlash but this is something else - it feels as if they whole community has turned against them and Jack wonders where after everything, all that hate comes from. Yet it does make him more determined, he'll love who he chooses, regardless of what countless keyboard warriors say, projecting their venom towards them because its almost easy.

So when Mark bursts into his recording session with that sparkle in his eyes, he can't find it in himself to be mad at him for interrupting.

"Lets make a new joint channel." He says, and Jacks look of confusion is a give away as Mark rushes to explain his idea, words jumbling together and Jack can't really get anything coherent from it but seeing Mark this excited makes his heart race. It isn't often the raven haired man gets so passionate about things but by god when he does there really is no stopping him and who would Jack be to stop him, anyway?

Marks breathless by the time hes projected all of his thoughts onto Jack, none of which he got because well, his accent turns deep and he speaks faster than the Irish in Dublin do, which is actually pretty impressive.

"Slow down." Jack laughs, as the man gets his breath back.

"Lets start a channel together... The exile channel." And suddenly something clicks; right there and then. A simple idea, with a lot of promise for the pair.

;

After easing his worries, Jack had agreed to start the new channel - Mark promised he wouldn't have to give up on his own channel and that making a new channel is the right thing to do - Jack was worried about starting again and if it leads to nowhere he'd be disappointed (truth be told, if the idea had flopped he'd be more upset to see Marks passion go, rather than anything Jack would feel himself there's something endearing about how Mark wants this to work so of course hes willing to try.) It also gives them a little more freedom to experiment with certain video ideas without the pressure of the community killing them before they've even begun. The pair work on intros, outro's and channel art together - Mark had asked one thing of the channel before they went into their spaces to work on it.

"Make it as gay as possible." He had uttered, before closing the door to Jacks recording room and maybe before he'd say that wasn't a good idea or that it'd be off putting to some but now, Jack can't find it in him to care.

Once the pair are happy and discuss different ideas for videos, the launch of the channel begins. Jacks more nervous than anything, wonders if the channel will be well recieved or if people will lay eyes on their rainbow banner with

'Its twenty gayteen, be proud.' Written in bold letters and turn away, or if it'll be a slow start like the pair had had with both their channels - Jack isn't expecting to have success overnight, especially with the community exiling them so to speak.

;

And somehow, somewhere - when they wake up in the morning after Mark telling Jack to stop watching the channel because a watched clock never ticks, Jack has to double take at the subscriber count, wondering if their had been some kind of glitch in the system but regardless of how many times he refreshes the page, the numbers seem to be rising rather than going down each time he does.

Subscribers; 250,625.

A quarter of a million subscribers in one night and their only video had been an introduction to the channel, stating that the community will be a safe space for everyone, regardless of who they are - to prove to people that even if their own communities or people around them reject (exile) them - the channel and the people within it, will always accept them. Perhaps the channel was more-so for Jack and Mark - a confirmation that people do accept them even if others in their masses don't. And with numbers, Jack thinks so.

Mark can't believe it either so the pair rush to start making content as soon as possible and Jacks fire, reignites. Hes pleasantly surprised with the growth of the channel overnight - he hasn't seen anything like that since well ever. Its difficult nowadays for channels to break through nevermind in their first day unless its some viral craze or click-bait crap; Jack is proud as  Mark is.

;

And before they knew it, their channel is everywhere - in the rising creators section, on the news as the one of the fastest rising channels of all time - talked about everywhere, praised for being what it is. Their videos a huge success, positive feedback and thanks to the pair for being a safe space and Jacks never felt more proud and accepted as he packs his recording equipment into boxes labelled 'fragile.' Its about time he did the big move, sick of flying back and fourth or sending content here and there, getting cut off on the phone so after not so much consideration he decided to go move in with Mark, and he couldn't be more excited.

And soon, the channel gets way bigger than any of them imagined, almost bigger than their channels in fact and the videos more than a success. Its when they're filming at [American State] Pride that Jack feels like he belongs. Hand intertwined with the love of his life, rainbow flag tied around his waist and they celebrate who they are, celebrate progress even if sometimes it doesn't feel like there is much.

Jack holds the camera alongside Mark, kissing him on the lips without shame and just because he can. The pair smile brightly, hands joined together in the air.

"Be proud, be strong, be brave and most importantly, be you." Mark says into the camera, eyes soft and words geuinue.

"Septiplier away!" The pair yell in unison, signing off the video.

No matter who you are, if one place doesn't accept you, another will.

Here's to the exile channel.

- J & M. 

(Eat shit, homophobes.)