I took a break last week because I didn't have anything to upload, my dearest apologies. I'm running low on ideas at the moment so I'm sorry if uploads are a little all over the place. (Feel Free to leave requests!) This was kind of a self indulgent piece too just to remind myself to face the past! Angst and fluff mixed in together :)

; IRELAND 2002 ;

Hes prepared for this moment forever and it has to go just right, there is not room for mistakes, he cannot let anyone stand in his way - not tonight for tonight he escapes. There's butterflies fluttering in his stomach and he feels ready to break free of the cage. The guards are off duty and his parents are at the dining room with all their fake acquaintances and big-ing up their model son, perfect blue eyed boy. Hes not, not anymore and he picks up the bag and he runs, runs as fast as his feet will take him and to the car that's been waiting for him.

Hes going to be free.

;

It starts with a wish upon a shooting star, Mark is standing on the bridge that connects his neighbour to some woodland and its usually where he comes to just think, the sound of the cars driving by, the occasional one with music blasting, the wind blowing through his hair and the night sky above him, its tranquil. The world is dawning on him; its one of those nights. Mark has always been the naive one of the group - never able to spot cheetah in a crowd of lions; Giving people too many chances, he feels like a pushover and hes had enough.

A star falls above him and he mumbles into the night; "I just wish I knew when people were lying." He sighs, its a problem hes always had being too nice and giving chances were he shouldn't and Marks fed up of being walked over by people.

He walks back to his apartment, figures that his roommate might be concerned of his whereabouts. Mark remembers when Jack had first moved in and how the argued about Jack leaving his socks everywhere (he still does it.) Mark put an ad about the campus saying he needed a roommate to help pay the rent and tuition fees, otherwise he'd be on the streets and his ever growing knowledge of engineering wouldn't do shit for him then.

Mark walks into their shared apartment with a sigh, it looks like Jack is asleep and he's glad otherwise he'd have to answer the 'are you okay?' question and he really didn't feel like it.

So, he flopped onto his bed with a groan and let the comforting feel of sleep embrace him.

;

He wakes up feeling a bit better, ready to face the day. His classes are in the afternoon to which he's glad; Mark was never a morning person. Jacks classes are in the morning which makes sense because the few times Mark has been up in the morning he's seen the amount of energy the Irishman has and its unholy. His morning classes give him a chance to use up all the energy which Mark is also glad for because he thinks he would have kicked Jack out by now if he didn't.

He gets up and sees Jacks notebooks lying upon their little coffee table which the man always seems to have his feet upon, Jack is also always forgetting something. Mark picks up his notebook and seeing his Jacks name scribbled across the book makes the raven haired man feel uneasy for whatever reason, like that wasn't actually Jacks name but he tries to push it away because that is ridiculous. Of course that was his real name. Never the less he picked up the notebooks and decided to seek the Irishman out and return them to him.

;

It was fairly easy to find a green haired Irish boy walking around a college campus; Mark jogged over to him and with a smile upon his features placed them upon ivory hands.

"You forgot these, Sean." Even Mark seemed shocked to hear that name come out of his mouth and the irishman seemed to freeze at that, notebooks in hand and eyes wide.

Sean, come to think about it the name suited Jack better and it made Mark feel on the edge. Moments passed, the air thick, suffocating.

Jack in slow motion unfroze from his spot and turned away running off.

Why hadn't he corrected him? Who the fuck was Sean?

;

Jack (Or whatever alias he goes by.) Has been avoided him for days and he finally catches him one night late when he saunters in and when he sets eyes upon Mark looking like a fly caught in a web. (In reality it seem Mark is the fly caught in the web of lies Jack created.)

"Sit." Mark commands, no room for argument and he can see that Jack wants to run but hesitantly sits down. Jack thought he could escape this that he wouldn't have to explain to somebody ever and how Mark found out he doesn't know but its a weight that regardless of his name, he has to carry. Hes ran and ran, all his life to escape the demons of the past and yet they always catch up to him.

"Do not lie to me. What is going on?" Mark utters and Jack avoids his eyes, knowing their will be disappointment coloring his irises. Jack swallows and tries hard to shove his pride away, shove the guilt down but its there.

This wasn't supposed to be how it goes, America was supposed to treat him better.

"My name, real name was Sean. My family were bad people and had to get away had to change my name so they didn't find me." Jack started off composed but the sentence broke apart, words he never wanted to say aloud.

The silence followed is suffocating maybe because Mark knows that its the truth because he doesn't have this gut feeling, like he did when he found out about Jacks name.

Jacks supposed to be free.

"I'm sorry." The man senses its more than a sore subject and lets it be, lets the man go and Jack does, takes his way out to his room.

Mark knows that in the morning things will be different between the two, could see how much there was un said, and all his questions left unanswered.

;

He noticed right away when Jack wasn't there in the morning, the pair would usually head to their afternoon classes but perhaps Jack went out to clear his head, Mark didn't want to bother him anyway, the space was probably better. Marks been thinking all sorts and would appreciate a proper explanation from the man in his own time though, probably best to let Jack come to him. Pride and much more can be the funniest things.

But Jack isn't in any of his afternoon classes and Mark has a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and slight worry lingering and tries to stay calm but this last class is dragging in and he just wants to check on Jack, see if hes isolated himself in his room or maybe staying somewhere else.

The feeling worsens and he cannot get out of that lecture quick enough and back to his dorm.

"Jack?" He utters to silence and he knocks on the door and with nothing he opens it.

A made bed, with a small note on it and Mark doesn't want to rush to it, doesn't want to see what he knows will be Jacks messy writing on it saying something he doesn't wanna hear.

But he does with a shaky hand he picks up the note and reads the words over and over again;

"I'm doing what I do best. Running, I'm sorry. Maybe one day I'll be able to face this but not now, don't do what I do Mark, never run."

It hurts and hes angry, Mark wanted to help Jack through it all learn more about Jack -- Sean, even and now he regrets wishing upon that star.

He lays awake starring at the stars, the same stars wish cursed him almost, the same stars he hopes, prays Jack is under right now, wherever he is.

;

The coach rattles Jack awake, and he sighs; He peeks out the window to see the countryside passing by and the grassy hills and surrounding trees almost remind him of home, it seems many things remind him of home even though Jacks given up on having a home or given up on remembering what it means. His family had molded him to be the perfect son and when they found out he was ripped of most of his freedom he had until he could be what they made him and for awhile he was -- played by their rules because he was tired of suffocating, Jack had had experience of what actual living was like and had broken out of the cage many years later but it came for a price, a price above his head.

He shed the identity his parents made for him, shed the family name; shed his own name, like a snake casting its skin and Jack perhaps had come to like the new skin he grew back, until it cracked; and remainders of his previous one began to show.

Hes shedding his skin again, whether he likes it or not and finding a new place to stay at, not a home because Jack doesn't remember ever having a 'home.'

Perhaps, no matter which skin he wears, he'll always be a coward.

;

Life, for Mark, goes on and although its quiet and lonely back at the dorm -- although he misses how Jack would always leave his clothes on the floor, he carries on and wraps himself in his studies and he has the grades but damn, it just doesn't feel right. There's papers upon papers in front of him, telling him he has a degree and can execute engineering but it just doesn't fit. He wants to change his path even if its a little late. He just doesn't know which path to take, yet. (He wants to take the path which leads him to Jack, is what he really wants.)

He sits in his dorm room, gazing at the camera he bought on impulse and decides to finally use it and take some photos of the night sky peeking through his windows, the camera fits in his hands nicely and with each click Mark feels better. The photos with the moon shining in, its a comfort, it captures Marks adoration for space perfectly.

Maybe its then he decides that having a camera in his hands and ready to capture a moment others can savor forever, is the path he needs.

;

Jack is still on the run, running wherever his feet take him and he'd be lying if he didn't say hes had sleepless nights due to all the past things as though he just can't escape. He misses Marks hazel eyes in the rare times the pair were up together in the mornings and his ramblings Jack never understood in math class. It hurts and he misses all the friends hes made, all the people hes lied too. They're probably all thinking the same thing - Traitor.

Truth was, he wasn't just a traitor to Mark or the swedish boy he met on the train and exchanged numbers with, but a traitor to his own family too. If he'd just been the model son, the perfect blue eyed boy his parents wanted, made him be -- he wouldn't have met those people, wouldn't have roped them into his web of lies. Its time he made wrongs right and stopped pretending to be something he isn't, all he is at the moment is a liar and a coward; things hes only ever been.

He never was the model son.

;

Years pass and Mark builds something new for himself something that feels right and yet there is still something missing, but capturing people's happiness, their sadness; helps fill a void, helps him express things he isn't normally able too. Mark himself hides away from the blind eye and here, behind the camera he sees things too eyes cannot, things behind a lens.

He's even captured that missing feeling; via a blonde haired dark eyed woman, with a shadow looming over her but never close enough to reach, to know what is missing.

Mark hopes one day he'll know, he feels better now he left college and focused on something he wanted, something he did but alas it doesn't fill the cap.

Nonetheless hes made a name for himself, proud to be a photographer rather than a this-never-felt-right engineer.

Hes sat on a high bar stool, reflecting and not drinking his woes away (not that he could), rather sipping an iced tea when a stranger taps him on the shoulder, bringing him back to earth with some accented words which seem familiar but Mark can't place it.

"Is this seat taken?" Mark doesn't make eye contact with the stranger, too busy trying to place that accent; perhaps a previous client. He shakes his head no, and the stranger sits down and orders something Mark didn't quite catch and god he starts speaking again and its igniting something within Mark which is driving him insane.

Mark, turns to the stranger; the first time he actually looked at the man around about his age, with brown to grey hair and piercing blue eyes, a light stubble to add to his features. Marks starring he knows and the stranger catches him and he can't look away.

Hes so familiar, yet so.. not.

"Whats your name?" Mark asks, trying not to sound rude but he cannot place this man who know seems phased that Mark asked his name, like he wouldn't get that far or something. Jack swallows his pride, hes faced so much these past years but facing Mark who still looks the same from their college days is the hardest. Brown eyes that the last time Jack saw them, were colored with disappointment.

"Jack." And time seems to stop, and it clicks in Marks head, he feels dizzy. After all these years - they meet here, in some bar. Mark didn't picture it like this, always pictured it romantic and sweet.

"Where have you been?" Mark asks and it shouldn't be his first question or statement but he wants to know, needs too. His eyes are fixated onto the man beside him now - the missing piece of the puzzle. It takes awhile for Jack to answer, hes had this entire speech ready for sometime but words fail him.

"Running." Jack answers and its the truth - he had been, for a long time and then he stopped running and started fighting; fighting his battles and facing them but there was one problem he was still running from - himself and his heart which brought him here, to some bar in America on a whim and perhaps lady luck was on his side today because he knew he'd found what he had been running from the moment he caught a glimpse of the raven hair that hasn't got a bit of grey through it.

There's so much un-spoken emotions in the air -- so many lost years between them and its suffocating in the crowded bar. Mark seems to get the message and the pair head out an into the night air, its a good chill.

"Why did you leave?" Mark asks and there's pain in his eyes.

"I had too." Jack says.

"I just wanted you to come back, I just wanted an explanation. You gave up everything and ran like a coward. I could have helped you!" Mark snaps and he hoped when this day came (if it ever did, it only seemed to happen in his dreams and sometimes nightmares) that he wouldn't lose his cool but it was hard not too, it had been so long.

"I know but I had to help myself, I had to realize I couldn't run forever. I'm sorry." And Jack is, truly - he always ran from everything good, ran back into the bad.

"I've missed you." Mark utters, turning to the man.

The missing puzzle piece is right here, in front of him and although his heart hurts seeing it and although the anger is lingering from all these forgotten years; Mark feels complete.

;

They begin to make up for lost years, catching up on how things have been. Jacks been facing demons after demons whilst Mark has been trying to figure out whats missing in his life but the fear still lies here, the fear that Jacks just going to walk away again and Marks hopes it will settle because even when the doubt eats him alive Jacks there, in his bed or downstairs making a cup of the blackest coffee.

;

They fall into bed together; wrapped in each others arms its been a long and tedious day so its nice for them to just fall asleep together and sleep the world away.

Mark awakes perhaps hours later, he can't tell the world seems to be in the awkward stage between dawn and day -- not quite in full darkness nor light and the bed seems rather cold and Mark realizes that its because hes on his own and decides to go downstairs for a drink and to see if Jack couldn't sleep either.

Hes quiet, just in case the stairs had a habit of creaking at all hours but downstairs is empty and panic starts to skin in; this is it Jacks left him again, realized Mark was too much of his past maybe or maybe he knows too much now and he can feel tears start to fall from his tired eyes.

"Come back to me, Jack." He utters.

;

"Mark! Mark, wake up." An accented voice wakes him and his heart is racing as he catches the baby blues and its relief that hits him immediately and he hurls his arms around the smaller man, breathing a sigh. "Dont ever leave me again, please." Mark pleads.

"I won't." Jack promises.

'I finally found you

My missing puzzle piece

I'm complete.'