This Is Not Me
"Jessie, open up." Sam says desperately standing at the door.
Jessica takes a deep breath than stands up. She slowly opens the door. She had mascara running down her face.
"What's going on with you?" Sam puts his hands on her shoulders and looks at her with sad eyes.
"I don't know."
"Why don't you want sex. It's been forever. I thought you missed me."
"Don't pull that Sam." Jessica pulls away from him and walks into the small kitchen.
"Pull what?
Why are you acting like this?" Sam follows her into the kitchen.
"You left me for 13 weeks!" Jessica screams
Sam was quite. "Jess, I am sorry. But I don't understand why you are yelling and avoiding sex."
Jessica didn't have an answer. She was just so angry.
Angry at the fact that Sam had left her, and angry at herself for falling in love with another man. She always wanted Sam to be the one, but everything changed when he left.
"I know it will be hard Jessica, but you can't waste our time together being angry with me."
"So you just want me to bottle it all up."
"No, but I don't want it to be like this either. I don't want to leave you alone in this state of emotion."
"Too late for that! You left with no problem a few weeks ago."
"Why don't you come to Paris Island, and live with me their. Travel with my so I can be with you."
"I am not dropping everything so your dick can have satisfaction." Jessica huffs and turns around pouring herself a glass of wine.
"You are being overly dramatic. Stop it already."
Jessica and Sam look into each other's eyes. A small tear appears falling down her cheek. Sam walks closer to her, step by step, slowly.
He wraps his arms around her and sways her back and fourth. She leans her head on his shoulder and cries.
"I am sorry Sam."
"For what... I know you are upset and it's okay. I love you for you. I miss your company and your voice. I could care less about sex."
"I know. I miss you too."
Sam slowly reaches his hand down her body.
Quickly he throws her on the table and kisses her. He starts at the top of her body and goes down.
"Nothing has changed baby."
**
The next morning Jessica woke up naked in her bed. Sam was still sleeping. Jessica went into the bathroom to check her phone. She wrapped a silky robe around herself and looked in the mirror.
She stared at her reflection until it was unbearable. She pounded her fist in the counter and cried heavily.
You are such a slut. This is not you. This is not Jessica. Get yourself together, don't lead them on. They aren't your toys.
Jessica's phone had buzzed and she looked at it. It was a message from Danny.
We really need to talk Jess. I feel so... I don't know, it's just something doesn't feel right.
Jessica let out a dee sigh and threw her phone onto the ground.
Jessica got into the shower and cleaned herself off.
She was suddenly frightened by Sam.
"Who's Danny?" He says confused.
Jessica paused for a moment. She moved the shower curtain and saw Sam reading through her phone. She snatched the phone from Sam and looked at him.
"What?" She says
"Who's Danny? He said that he needed to see you at 3."
"Danny, he is a classmate of mine. We have a project to do." Jessica says looking at the phone and seeing there was nothing that she didn't want Sam to see.
"Oh, well I have to go get my uniform dry cleaned. Maybe you could see him than. I want to spend he whole day with you."
Jessica nods her head then turns off the shower.
"You were amazing last night Jessica. Where did you learn all those new moves?" Sam wiggles his lower body and leaves the bathroom.
**
Later that day Sam went to run some arrons. Jessica snuck Danny over to talk.
"Hey, come in. You can't stay long he will be home soon." Jessica says quickly opening the door.
Danny looked around and saw the kitchen table all messed up. He gave Jessica a funny look than saw her clothes on the kitchen floor.
"What do you need to talk to me about?" Jessica sits on the couch.
"Us, this, what we are doing." Danny takes her hand and looks at her sadly.
"Huh?"
"Really, truthfully, what we did was never my intention. I know I have said this multiple times, but I didn't want to ruin your relationship of 7 years with him."
"You didn't, it was me. Danny I really love being with you."
"I know you had sex with him. And it makes me mad, because I really do love being with you. I think of you as an amazing friend. After we had sex, I am worried it will ruin our relationship."
"Danny, I hated every moment of it. It didn't feel right. It just makes me so angry. He wants me to move to Paris Island! I can't leave you."
"What? Move! No, you can't."
"I know, Danny I just am not happy with him. I can't go on with the guilt of leading him on. I just think I need to end things with him."
"I think for us, we should not have any more sexual contact. We can be friends, but we can't go on having feelings for each other until it's officially over. And we can't directly just start having a relationship."
"Danny, what if you aren't there."
"I will be. I will wait. I just think it's best if we take a break until this all blows over. I don't want to interfere with your emotions and choice. I want you to think about yourself. What ever choice you make, I will support you. I just want you to make the one that you think is right for you and what is right for your heart."
"Does this mean we can't hang out or talk."
"I think a break is a break."
"Daniel, it makes me sick hearing that."
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