I'm Scared
When Jessica arrived home her head was spinning. She was flooded with emotions that she couldn't erase from her mind. She questioned herself, if this would work. If her and Danny would work. She questioned if she would be a good mother or not. Seeing Sam just brought so many questions to her mind.
She didn't know why she felt like this either. It frustrated her.
Jessica couldn't help but cry, she couldn't control herself. Jessica looked at a picture of her and Danny then looked down at her stomach. She felt the little kicks from her babies.
"I'm sorry..." she whispers
Jessica went into her room and grabbed a duffle bag. She scurried over to her closet and began throwing clothes into the bag.
What are you doing Jess? Why are you being like this? Stop it! Just stop. Relax.
Jessica paused for a quick moment then took a deep breath.
She gazed over at the bag then continued packing.
Once she was finished packing she shut off all the lights and headed for the door. She thought of leaving a note but she didn't.
Jessica drove herself back Colquet.
**
"Jessica, you're crying! What's going on?" Ann says opening the door with Chase in her hand.
Jessica decided to drive to Ann's house.
"Ann, I don't know what's going on with me!" Jessica covers her face and drops her bag.
Jack comes behind Ann and takes the baby. Ann takes Jessica's hand and guides her inside.
"Ann I can't do it!"
"What do you mean honey?"
"I can't be a mother! I don't even have my life figured out. Ann I can't be a mother to these babies!" Jessica sobs into Ann's chest.
"No, no, no! Jessie you are going to be an amazing mother! Don't you dare question yourself."
"Four years ago I didn't think I would be here. I was suppose to be engaged, with Sam, and him by my side. Now I'm with a man that I've known for less then a year and two of his babies on the way. I fuck everything up Ann, I'm going to fuck this up."
Ann titled her head and looked at Jessica with sad eyes. She placed her hand on Jessica's shoulder.
"When I was pregnant I had so many doubts Jessica, and it's normal. First off it's not good to be upset like this, you'll upset the babies... Second, I've known you my whole life and as I saw you grow up I just thought about what a great mother you would be, I couldn't wait to see you pregnant and hold your little one, or ones. And you're so good with Chase, he loves you. I can't wait to see you be an amazing mommy to these babies. Listen, things don't always go as planned but that's okay. Danny loves you and I know it...
... Did something happen between you and Danny?"
"No, I just left. I saw Sam today at the furniture store, and I just looked at him and saw how sad he was. The light was taken from his eyes and the glow from his smile. I can't help but blame myself for that. What if I do that to Danny or these babies. I'm scared I'll mess up. Danny doesn't deserve a slut like me, I don't deserve these babies. Danny is better off with out me, I'm a mess!"
"Don't say that Jessica, it isn't true. You're just really emotional right now. You aren't a slut either. Honey don't bring yourself down like this. You and Danny deserve each other. I know that you guys will one day get married, have even more babies, live in a nice house in New York, and grow old with each other. I just saw Sam and he seemed fine, you're just overthinking things....
Why don't you call Danny, I bet he's worried."
"I just need a break Ann, I'm so overwhelmed."
"Okay, that's fine. Can I at least call him and tell him you are here and okay so he doesn't get worried?"
Jessica nods and rest her head on the pillow.
Ann takes Jessica's phone and calls Danny.
"Jessica? Where are you? Are you okay? I've been worried sick!"
"Danny, it's Ann. Jessica's okay, she's at my house."
"She's still in Colquet? I thought she was coming home. Her clothes are all gone, did she leave me? Is she okay?"
"She didn't leave you Danny. She just has lots of emotions swimming through her. She just needs time to relax."
"Did I do something wrong?"
"You did nothing. She'll be okay."
"I was so scared she left me."
"She didn't, she's pregnant with twins, I can't imagine the emotions she's dealing with. Just give her some time."
"Alright. Can you tell her I love her..."
"Yes."
Ann hangs up the phone and looks a Jessica who was sleeping on the couch.
Ann decided to call her mom.
**
An hour later Dorthy was at Ann's door step.
"What's going on with Jessie?"
"She's having like some kind of breakdown." Ann says
"Poor thing... Did something happen with her and Danny?"
"No, she just left. She saw Sam earlier and she just got scared and guilty. She's doubting everything and it makes me so sad to see her like this."
Dorthy nods and walks into the living room.
Jessica was slowly waking up when she saw Dorthy rush over to her and hug her.
"My baby girl." Dorthy's lip quivers.
"Mom..." Jessica begins to sob again.
"Don't cry, you'll upset the little babies..." Dorthy rubs her belly and smiles.
"I'm so scared."
"I know it's scary, but you'll do great."
"What if I fail at raising them, what if Danny and I break up? My life will be over, mom I can't mess this up."
"And you won't mess this up. I know you. You're a smart, loving, and caring women Jessica. And these babies are lucky to have a mom like you. And think, before you know it you'll be graduating. Only a few days and most of the stress will be gone. And Danny loves you, nothing will happen. You can't have doubts." Dorthy takes Jessica's hand and smiles.
"My baby is going to have babies...." she says
Jessica chuckles and cries a little more.
"I'm scared, I'm so scared."
"I'll be there every step of the way to help, I promise."
"I broke Sam's heart mom."
Dorthy nods. "That's the past, this is the future. You have more important things to worry about like getting ready for these babies and your move. Most importantly naming these little rascals." Dorthy says trying to lighten the mood.
"Heh, I have names."
"You do?" Ann says peaking through the door.
"Mhm, Scarlett and Wyatt."
"Oh! I love them!" Dorthy hugs Jessica and places her hand on her bump.
"They're moving like crazy? They want you to be happy."
***
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