Author's Note: We're officially back to the present day again. In case you've forgotten, that would be the first part and is also the end of his strenuous journey.

As I laid there on the ground with the rain pelting against my skin, all I could do was smile. My life for all its worth, was almost always determined by someone or something else. Life, my brother, sometimes even Gretchen. All I ever wanted was to find my life; Find myself. For as long as I could remember, I've been this empty shell of a person. I let my will be taken away, my voice, even my own freedom. I was never a danger to anyone but the world said otherwise.

The sweet sound of silence calmed my nerves as I saw the sky moving above. Birds took flight to weather the storm. I still smiled, though it faded as the doors shut so I couldn't see them anymore. I tried to speak up, though my throat was clogged by all the blood.

"Sir, can you hear me?" The paramedic asked.

Of course I can hear you, but I couldn't tell you that.

Instead of responding, I continued looking up as the paramedic spoke to another. I laid there in silence as the blood drained my body. 

I kept making the monitor beep like crazy every time I tried to cross over to the other side, but the electric shocks forced me back. It was so weird. This bright light was engulfing me and I was the poor immigrant trying to cross the wall between life and death, misery and joy, oppression and freedom. That's all I wanted. Yet the freedom I craved was always so far away.

While the rain continued to pour outside against the window, a calmness washed over. This was what it came to. Me choosing myself rather than be slave to the confines of life and all its superiority. When I made that leap of faith, I couldn't believe it really happened. The glass didn't even hurt on the way down as the pain within drowned out the surface pain, until the external bled into the internal. Hence why I was here in the first place. 

The more I thought about it, the calmer I became. Each breath slowing down with every rhythmic beat until my vision flickered. Black, white, dark, bright. True glory was upon me. 

It wasn't until my body felt hollow and my eyes weren't opening that I realized it wasn't calmness that had saved me, it was death. Sweet, glorious death. 

By the time I stood outside and watched the doctors rush to revive me yet again, they were too late. It wasn't their fault. In fact, none of this was their fault. It wasn't even all mine either. I had come to this for awhile now and was finally free. Though they still had my pity and sympathy for feeling guilty over something they couldn't control.

As the doctors had called the time and agonized in the natural order of the world, one with striking black hair had made his way out and delivered the news.

 "Are you related to Raymond Lochner?" He asked as he kept his arms to his side.

A.J sat there checking his phone to once again see if anyone cared about his business. He wore all white again, yet a black tie and shoes to offset him from being the devil in angel form. His eyes looked up as he nodded his head. "Yeah. I'm related to him. What seems to be the problem?"

Oh here it is. I couldn't help but smirk when the doctor delivered the news. It was only when I listened to his voice, that he knew who we were.

"Did you know your brother jumped from the seventh floor at Merrymount Memorial?"

"So?"

Dr. LeRoche wrinkled his nose in disgust as A.J stood there all cocky like he was king of the world, when in reality he was nothing more than a meaningless being. Just like I was, according to him. "He died fifteen minutes ago. I'm so sorry for your loss."

In that moment, A.J's smug grin had slowly begun to fade. His fearsome eyes softened as he cupped his mouth. For a moment, he had turned away and sniffled. "You're lying."

"I'm afraid this is all too real. Your brother has really died." Dr. LeRoche repeated as he nodded to himself. "Once again, I'm very sorry for your loss."

Neither of us expected it, but those words broke him. The proud lion became the stumbling wreck and in just minutes. Maybe not literally, though with every passing day he grew more and more upset. One day he traded his golf club for Scotch and a dog to the bar. His bone calling for him each night. To make matters worse, our father was off in Venice having the time of his life. He rarely checked his phone and the day he did, all he could do was stutter and deny that my death really happened during his getaway.

"No Dad, he's really dead." A.J sniffled as he clutched his phone with one hand while shakily grasping the glass with the other. "I did this. I...did this and now he's gone. Oh my god. Oh my god..."

Our father took his sweet time before flying back for the funeral. His face cemented with that confused open jaw, wrinkled nose, and arched eyebrows as my white casket was rolled out into the graveyard next to the other woman we lost. 

It was official. Over half the family was gone, including our Mother who had divorced before taking off years after my birth. I didn't know if she felt the loss of her family, but they sure did. Horace and A.J stood there in the beautiful open graveyard with a field of black as the priest presided. Both shaking uncontrollably as their emotions wrecked them inside.

The crowd behind them were like an army of gazelles. No emotion, no movement, no life. Just porcelain animals watching the carnivores roar before scattering away. In this case, my brother and father. Powerful men with emotional complexity that had no limits.

Upon the final reprise of the sermon and the melancholic hymn to release my spirit through the world, my brother broke down. 

"I'm s-s-sorry..." The only words he could muster as his eyes filled with tears. "I'm so sorry, Raymond."

It took two weeks to get him to the level of care I wished he was at, my entire life. Next to freedom, that was all I ever desired. He could've loved me, he could've wanted me, he could've been there besides when I was gone, both in life and after. 

At first it was a stream of sharp gasps. Each time he felt like crying, he'd dial it back with those gasps until he covered his mouth and softly cried, where the gentle cries escalated to the point he burst into the most heartbroken wail I've ever heard. Regret and pain dripping down as Father had to hold him tight as he fell on his knees. The endless tears, a downfall from the cold, heartless shell of a person he had been. 

As I watched from behind the trees, I stepped closer and leaned forward. "I know."

He kept crying as I straightened up again and nodded. "I... know."

That was the last time I was ever a slave to the world around me. The last time I had no self. Instead of basking in all the joy that came out of seeing them upset for what they did, I chose to forgive. I chose to move forward. 

As much as I wanted the worst for A.J who didn't deserve anything great in his life, I still pitied him. He was no less a slave to his demons as I was mine. He let his hatred, jealousy, and morbid half enthrall himself like I let my desire, desperation, and foolishly loyal self engulf me too. As a result, I chose death while he lived to be the only child left in this broken family. All I could do was have pity on his lost soul and hope he'd learn from this. Just like I learned myself.

My eyes zoned in on my casket, those in deep mourning, and of course the bright sun. How beautiful it shone despite the grim atmosphere. It truly was a glorious day though, for I had finally fulfilled my freedom. 

The world around me slowed down as I circled my former home, gazing at all there was before closing my eyes. Although I'd miss this place, I knew it was better this way. 

I was free. I was me. I was myself. 

Nothing would feel this glorious like it did right there.

As the air surrounding me had warmed up and the light inside me shone bright, I smiled again.

"Thank you," I whispered. My soul, my presence; freed from the world. Free at last.