A/N IF YOU CAN WATCH THAT VIDEO AND FEEL FINE AFTERWARDS YOU NEED TO LEAVE /hj

Despite Dean's reassurances, by the time the sun sets, Castiel is beginning to think once again that this isn't going to work out. They haven't even gotten another minute alone, never mind time to do the do. Dean and Jo managed to bully Sam and Jess into giving up their remotes after an hour -- at which time Ash also offered to give Castiel his controller, but Cas shot him down -- and the game went on for a long time. It looks like he didn't sign up for a few more days of sex; he signed up for video games.

Castiel watched the game while Dean and Jo were with him, listening to the two crack jokes -- typically at Sam or Ash's expense -- but when Sam and Jess took their place on the couch, he'd stopped paying attention. He didn't get much writing done, but what he did manage to get down on Google Docs was, at least in his opinion, pretty good. He's fairly content with how the afternoon went, even if it mostly consisted of writing, laughing at jokes about a game he wasn't playing and was only half-watching, and not having sex.

An hour or two after dinner -- some very delicious mac n cheese -- Dean taps Castiel on the shoulder, and Castiel feels his heart jump. Is it happening? Is it finally happening?

"You know," Dean says, "I completely forgot to show you this Wayward Sisters video I saw this morning."

"I'd want to watch it if the invitation is still open," Castiel tells him.

"Alright, c'mon," Dean gestures for him to follow him. "I bookmarked it on my laptop just for you."

Castiel takes that chance the moment he gets it, and the two of them head off to Dean's -- err, Jo's -- room for some privacy (but not before Charlie gives her friend a real-life Lenny face). Dean closes the door behind him, and Castiel wants nothing more than to just have sex here and now. Unfortunately, there's something they need to do first.

"Hey, can we talk real quick?" Castiel asks.

Dean cocks an eyebrow. "Wow, that was exactly what I was gonna say. Like, word-for-word."

"Oh." He's not sure he likes the sound of that. "Do you want to go first?" If Dean's going to say he's changed his mind in the last few hours, it would probably be best to start with that.

"Uh, no, you can go first," Dean says.

"Oh, okay..." Not quite what he was hoping for, but he's already probably going to make things weird; he doesn't want to make them any more awkward by making a bigger deal out of this than necessary. "I just wanna, you know, make sure that we're both on the same page."

Dean seems taken aback by that. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, this is just 'no strings attached,' right?" Castiel asks.

"Yeah, 'course," Dean says without a moment of hesitation. "If that's what you want, then hell yeah. I'm the number one proponent of friends with benefits."

Castiel breathes a sigh of relief. "Okay, that was actually a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be."

"Hey, no stress," Dean says. "This is a stress-free zone. There is a no-stress fuck-zone."

Castiel bites back a laugh. "Thanks. I think." God, he's so fucking cute. How can a guy be both that hot and that cute? It should be illegal.

"Was that it?" Dean asks.

"Almost," Castiel says. That one went pretty well; he just knows this second part is going to be very awkward. There's absolutely no way for this not to be awkward. In fact, he's not even quite sure he should say it; he just doesn't want to not bring it up in case it makes things awkward down the road.

"Alright, what's up?" Dean asks. "Err, what else is up?"

"I just wanna, you know, let you know before we... " God, this is so fucking awkward. "I've done a lot of things, but I've also pretty much been in the closet since I was 18, so I've never actually, you know..." He might as well just go for it, right? What's the worst that will happen? (Actually, he doesn't want to know the answer to that.) "I've never actually had sex."

Dean's eyebrows shoot up at that, and Castiel feels the heat rush to his face. Maybe he shouldn't have said that. Maybe he should have just waited to see where this went and hoped that it never had to come up. Unless he was completely clueless while having sex, it probably wouldn't have come up at all -- and even then he'd like to think Dean wouldn't bring it up. It's too late for that, though.

After a brief pause, Dean says, "I don't know what surprises me more: that you were sucking dick at 16 or that you're 29 and haven't had sex."

Castiel rolls his eyes. "Well, the world hasn't exactly been in my favor over the last 13 years." He has to admit, he's surprised Dean remembered that one passing remark about giving a blowjob when he was 16 — or, technically, blowjobs, plural, but Dean doesn't need to know the details — but it makes sense. Dean would remember anything even vaguely sex-related, wouldn't he?

"Well, now I feel bad for what I'm about to say," Dean says, and Castiel's heart drops. "'Cause I've been thinking about it, and I don't know if we can have sex here."

"Oh," Castiel says monotonously. Seriously? He couldn't have led with that? He had to make Cas embarrass himself first?

Dean must figure out where Castiel thinks this is going because he quickly clarifies, "Not because I don't want to. Trust me, I do. But, I mean, logically...? We don't have lube, we don't have condoms — although, I mean, I guess that's not quite as important what with being dudes and all, but you get the idea. And this is Jo's room — it's Jo's bed. I feel bad enough going behind her back; I think fucking on her bed might be taking things a little too far, you know?"

Castiel lets out a long breath. "I guess you're right." He doesn't feel quite as bad about going behind Jo's back — unlike Dean, Jo and Cas haven't been best friends for years — but he does raise a fair point with everything else. He just wishes they would have figured this out before Castiel got his hopes up.

"But, on a completely unrelated note," Dean says in a way that shows that this is not, in fact, unrelated, "I hear Vancouver has a lot of radio stations that love to interview pop stars, and I do have an album to promote."

"Dean," Castiel says cautiously, "where are you going with this?" He can't be saying what Castiel thinks he's saying. Even Dean's not dumb enough for that.

Dean shrugs nonchalantly. "I'm just saying, I could think up some excuses to go to Vancouver next year, which is coincidentally where you're going to be filming. You live in LA -- which is coincidentally where I live, too -- so you could come back any time you want without raising any eyebrows. Maybe we could...?"

Castiel gapes at him. So maybe he is dumb enough for that. "Dean, you realize Jo's going to be staying with me, right?"

"She has a movie to film, too," Dean reminds him, and he does have a point. She won't be with him the entire time.

"And if someone catches you at my apartment?" Castiel asks. "That would blow the whole fake love triangle story wide open."

"Then we can meet at a motel," Dean says. "One at a time. Enter alone, exit alone. I've done it a million times before and no one's batted an eye. Worst comes to worst, you get caught and claim the heating broke at your apartment."

Castiel purses his lips. It almost sounds like it would work. Dean seems to have everything covered. They might be able to get away with it if they try hard enough. But he knows that the second one of them slips up, people are going to find out. Fans always find out.

"If you don't want to," Dean says, "that's totally fine. Just say the word and I'll shut up. We can go back to talking about Wayward Sisters or whatever and pretend this never happened. But, I mean, I kinda wanna ride this out and see where it goes, and I can't help but think you do, too."

Castiel hesitates. If they slip up and word gets out, it's going to change everything. He's not sure he's ready to take that risk. But at the same time, he's been wanting to fuck (or be fucked by; he's not picky) Dean Winchester for the better part of the last year, and he finally has the chance to. Opportunities like this are few and far between, especially with guys like Dean.

"Okay," Castiel says finally, "I'm in — but no one finds out. I don't want to take any unnecessary risks."

"Does Charlie find out?" Dean asks, kind of teasingly.

Castiel rolls his eyes. "Okay, no one but Charlie finds out — if that's okay with you, I mean. I don't have to tell her —"

Dean waves that off. "I've pretty much figured out that Charlie knows everything about you. I'm cool with it."

Castiel chuckles awkwardly. "Well, you're not wrong."

"So we're game?" Dean asks.

"We're game," Castiel replies.

"Awesome," Dean says. He really seems to mean it, making this by far the biggest ego boost Castiel has even received. "Now, sex may be off the table — momentarily, of course — but we do still have a few minutes to kill before people might start getting suspicious. Any ideas on how to spend the time?"

In all honesty, he doesn't have any idea how to spend the time, but he has a feeling Dean could think of a few ideas if given the chance. With a playful smile, Castiel says, "Well, I know you're having a really rough day because you had too much to drink last night —"

"Actually, I'm feeling fine now," Dean says.

Castiel puts a finger to the other man's lips, and though Dean is clearly confused, he just laughs and lets him talk.

"So I was thinking," Castiel continues, taking his hand away as he does, "to make it up to you, how about I let you do anything you want to me?" He'd like to think he knows Dean well enough to know that whatever Dean decides to do, it will be enjoyable for them both.

Dean bites his lip, a small smirk growing on his face. "Anything?"

"Anything "

Dean loops his fingers through Castiel's belt loops and pulls him closer by the hips. "I like the sound of that."